litdawndiaries

[litdawndiaries]

oooookay i think i'm all set for 100 days of nun mode challenge. both nervous and excited. i spent the morning setting my blockers and i'm really glad i'm not doing it alone anymore cos my friend from the dream girl sorority discord is doing it with me yayyyy

really hoping i can get through the whole 100 days this time cos i only did 70 in 2023 but i still made sm progress, so i'm excited. i'm excited to see what habits i form bc last time i ended up having a strange sudoku addiction which was unexpected but SO GREAT. during dinner today i went to sudoku.com and GUESS WHAT. I COMPLETED IT IN 2 MINS 57 SECONDS. the skill is still there !!!!!!! i couldn't believe it. i stopped playing aaaaaaaages ago but the skill i developed during the nun mode TWO YEARS AGO is still with me today 😭 that's crazy motivation for me this time.

as for this tumblr account... ngl i never really feel like i'm doomscrolling on here bc i only follow the productive discipline girlies on this account, so the content i see is always very motivating. plus i disabled endless scroll on settings so that i know when to stop being on here. BUT i'm gonna get off here for at least 30 days to have a complete social media detox and then maybe come on tumblr on this account only once a week for 30 mins, or if i genuinely have an ask i want answered.

i'm hoping i can stay present again bc this media consumption has made me get in my head and my maladaptive daydreaming must be cured.

i'm excited to age through this challenge again too happy early bday to me i turn 22 in exactly 1 week.

let's do this !!!!!! we go again !!!!!!!! goodnight !!!!!!!!!

[litdawndiaries]

it’s awesome how we have unlimited chances to become a better version of ourselves

[litdawndiaries]

A deeper dive into relationships because that’s a HUGE blocker for a lot of perpetually single women because the moment you start to catch feels is the moment you tune into the frequency of survival. When you’re in survival you get tunnel vision, you’re over analysing, you’re over communicating to create a sense of safety in yourself, you become hyper vigilant of what you say, how you say it, what he says, when he was last online. Imagine an animal in the wild looking over its shoulder, eyes wide open. That is literally you! The moment you start to feel. And this is because when you feel, you’re opening a buried hatchet of all your past pains, and traumas and your body is sensing danger. You can no longer think straight, you’re not sleeping properly and your focus is on him because unconsciously he has become a THREAT. Of course you don’t see him as a threat, you see him as potentially the ‘one’, even though he may be starting to pull away, because that survival energy you don’t realise you’re in is actually REPELLING. 

So how do you get out of this survival energy when you are dating a guy? 

You need to practise creating safety in your nervous system. 

Daily practise, yes these might sounds stupid and redundant but you need to do daily exercises that create a healthy relationship between you and your nervous system that reinforce safety. This might look like daily somatic shaking for 5 mins (literally shaking out your whole body to a Missy Elliot track), and/ or humming for 5 mins this tunes your body to safety, or or try bilateral tapping (butterfly tap your upper arms). This is what you can start today as your daily practise. It’s literally 5 mins priming your body to safety. You’re allowing your body to feel safe BEFORE an event happens.

When the fire alarms go off, create a note in your phone with your tool box. Important to connect with your inner child during this time, ask yourself ‘what part of me is afraid? How old does she feel? What does she need right now? And you handle and deal with this like a loving inner parent, you create a dialogue that reaffirms safety. Yes again may sounds stupid but it actually works, think how a parent can reassure a child to safety, you have that ability within you. ‘You’re safe with me. You don’t have to handle this alone, I’m here, what do you need’

You want to expose your nervous system to gently feel safe to be desired and loved by a powerful man. Imagine how it feels the moment that switch goes off in you from being the fun loving gal, to being overwhelmed with anxiety intense emotions. You want to visualise, feeling safe at that point. Start visualising having feelings AND feeling grounded, AND feeling safe to lean back and let him come forward. FEEL safe not having to attach yourself to him, go slowly. By putting in the actual work to visualise this is going to create a shift, this is something you do every night before bed.

[litdawndiaries]

what do i do if i end up going back on my word? what if i end up watching netflix on a weekday? i’ll feel really bad about myself but how do i make sure i don’t do it again? i’m scared that i’ll start off really well but then i’ll fall off after 2 weeks and my body will feel tired and i’ll just take a ‘me day’ for a day and then the me day become dayS for the rest of the challenge :(

Very real fear, seems like it’s based on past experience. I’m sure we’ve all gone though this.

The key is to remember that you are not a helpless sim being controlled by someone else. It was your hand that clicked on your Netflix bookmark, signed in, picked a show, and started watching. It didn’t just “end up” happening to you. You actively do things that throw you off the wagon by listening to the part of your brain that specializes in self sabotage under the guise of you being ‘too tired’ or ‘need a day off’. Take accountability for your actions.

There are other ways to relax and unwind that don’t require screens. Remember that this challenge isn’t about always being super active and go go go. You’re allowed to chill, read and daydream and draw and paint and play music and practice instruments and journal and talk to yourself and go for a walk and knit and make jewelry and paint your nails and chat on the phone and do crossword puzzles and sudoku and look at a magazine. You can learn to have fun without a screen. I think if you have the fear of a Netflix relapse then you are the main person who needs to learn how to have fun without a screen. It will be so so good for you.

Yes, your body will feel tired bc it’s being pushed further than normal and still adjusting to the routine. That is normal. You will not die from 30 minutes of exercise and a bit of reading and praying. Your body will eventually adjust and accept that this is the new normal. People who study 12 hours a day didn’t just suddenly start doing it. Their bodies got used to the increase over time. People who have intensive workouts didn’t do it overnight and they will gladly tell you how hard it was in the beginning. Our bodies and minds are capable of incredible things and they are very adaptive. They adapted to you sitting down looking at screens all day and they can be adapted to do other things. But you have to let it.

You have to delete the apps from your phone, block the websites, and stop making excuses. You have to let logic and reason beat self sabotage. You have to remember that there is life without an internet addiction and you can experience it. Please let yourself experience it.

[litdawndiaries]

the biggest thing i’m going to struggle with this challenge is the social media break on weekdays… any tips on that?

Well for starters, I just reblogged this post for you with practical tips.

Remember that social media is a very new thing and literally everyone who came before you (and depending on your age, even a part of your life) had life without social media. People entertained themselves, they learned, they traveled, they dressed themselves and discovered their style, they found cool foods they wanted to make, they kept up with current events, they found out about shows and movies they wanted to see, all without social media. And you can too. You are not required to be glued to your phone all day. You are absolutely allowed to log off. There’s no consequences for doing so. Very very very very very few things we find online are truly worth seeing and I can bet you a million dollars right now that you don’t remember even a fraction of the stuff you looked at today. It’s just not important! You’re missing out on nothing.

This is an opportunity for you to experience a full and satisfying life in the real world. So many books to read, pictures to draw, stories to write, clothes to make, workouts to do, daydreams to have, in-person visits to make, albums to listen to, recipes to try, at-home spa days to have, miniature sets to build, candles to make, DIYs to try, journaling to do, repairs to complete, bedrooms to redecorate, local places to visit, and time with family to share. Can all of this be done while also spending time on social media? Yes of course. But many times, we don’t do it because that time gets stolen from us with nothing to show for it.

Just bc these accounts exist doesn’t mean you have to use them. They’re not going anywhere. A few months off will do you so much good.

[litdawndiaries]

learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

[litdawndiaries]

When I say the people we attract are our mirrors, this is what I mean

A lot of people think you attract what you are, that if you're fun, you'll attract fun people. If you're kind, you'll attract kindness. And while there’s truth to that, mirroring goes deeper than surface level traits

It’s not just about the energy you project, it’s about the subconscious stories, wounds, and beliefs you carry

You can be lighthearted and full of life, yet still attract someone emotionally heavy or unavailable. That doesn’t mean you're not fun, it means your energy may be trying to heal something deeper

You might attract someone who drains you, not because you’re the same, but because you haven’t yet learned how to protect your peace

If you haven’t healed abandonment wounds, you will attract someone who’s emotionally unavailable. For example, you keep giving, hoping to be chosen and attract someone who takes, but never fully commits, mirroring your fear that love always slips away

The people who trigger you most are often mirroring something unresolved inside you

Your energy will repeat patterns until you consciously decide to break them

If you grew up in chaos, peace feels unfamiliar, so even when you say you want calm, you might keep attracting drama

What you believe you deserve will show up in your relationships. If deep down you feel unworthy, you may end up with people who make you prove your value again and again

You may keep attracting controlling partners, only to later realize that control once felt like love. The people around you are often replaying stories you haven’t yet rewritten

But not all mirrors reflect pain. Sometimes, they reflect growth. When you’ve done the work, you start attracting people who respect your boundaries, communicate clearly, and bring peace. That’s a reflection of your inner evolution. The universe will normally test you here, seeing if you are really ready to elevate or go back to your old patterns/choices

We’re also drawn to people who embody parts of ourselves we’ve suppressed, someone who mirrors your unlived potential

Every connection is a mirror, some of your pain, some of your power. But all of them are invitations to look within

[litdawndiaries]

hi ! do you have any advice on how to stop obsessing over a man and creating fantasies in my head? every time i have a guy i like, it fuels my maladaptive daydreaming and i’m always fantasising about different scenarios where i have his validation and attention. it’s quite draining and allow me to be present. some of these men are useless too, like it’s really not gonna go anywhere and is a waste of my time

Hey Sweetie, omg this was my LIFE!! The moment I caught feelings my mind would no longer be my own, it was as if tunnel vision took over. I cover this in the book, but basically a few things are going to help you: Understand the role this behaviour plays, its creating 'safety' if you can mentally control outcomes (often based on past traumas where feelings/love was not safe). This overthinking is actually very masculine energy, you are in your mind and this is usually how the energy dynamics shift from when you first meet a guy and he's interested to you becoming the chaser energetically. And despite how cool you can act men can feel this. You need to create safety in yourself, which sounds easier said than done. You have to teach your body and inner child that over imagining is not necessary and it's safe to let this go (a little internal dialogue with yourself can go a long way).

Some little rituals can help: putting one hand on your heart, one on your womb: 'I do not need to chase him, overthink about him. If it is aligned, it will remain. I am whole with or without him' (you might need to repeat this every 30 mins throughout the day) to break the cycle.

Have a little ring, necklace or stone that is your reminder to stay grounded. When you start to overthink, touch the item and have a little cue 'I call my energy back, my mind is my own'.

Remember you have power and command over your mind, it doesn't have command and power over you.

Also consider what content you consume / music you listen to. This ALL fuels desire and lust, if you start listening to Usher, to whoever you will unconsciously be thinking of the guy so do your best to avoid any romantic books, songs or content (about how to get the guy etc). This seems extreme but is necessary as you break the habit. And finally, be mindful of the tongue, speaking about said guy with whoever will listen is only creating more energy around him that fuels your mind. Saying less to others, and actually minimising his role in your life, can have a huge influence on how much you overthink. See him as a distant uncle, a cousin, remember if you're just dating his role is actually very fleeting in your life. Until he proves he is worthy of your energy and time, keep him mentally in his place.

[litdawndiaries]

in my experience, “self development” (or whatever you want to call it) comes in ebbs and flows. but what i see happen is people go all-in, then find themselves overly self-identifying with being someone who self improves and can’t stop. they become exhausted and bored focusing on it constantly, then conclude that it’s all rubbish and that you should “just be allowed to exist” without this constant self-focus. of course, they say all this while benefiting from the improved self-awareness and position in life their self development has given them. the reality is, you need breaks. seasons. rhythms. whatever works for you.

i’m not constantly working on myself: i focus on whatever i need to develop to reach my next goal, then i take a break and actually enjoy my progress. inevitably, as i continue living, some other goal or next step becomes obvious and i do what is required to achieve that. additionally, i cycle through improving my “base level” lifestyle: so at certain periods i’ve been focused on nutrition and food, others on personal style, and so on. as you get older, i’ve had to “self improve” less and can just ~enjoy my life~ more, which should be the point of it.

remember that it’s not about being perfect in every way to some pretend outside audience of voyeurs, it’s about doing what you need to do to reach your goals. tie it to something real, namely: actual achievements and enjoyment of life. that’s how i do it anyway.

[litdawndiaries]

You will outgrow what broke you. And it will hurt. And it will free you. And one day, it won’t feel like breaking anymore. It’ll feel like becoming. Becoming that version of you on the other side of that pain, who is proud you didn’t give up. Keep going. They’re waiting.

[litdawndiaries]

You are not hard to love. You were just trying to bloom in places that didn’t have enough sunlight.

[litdawndiaries]

Your environment shapes your self image & mindset more than you imagine. Deep cleaning instantly makes everything feel lighter like you’re wiping away old energy and making room for something new. Moving your bed to a different spot might seem small, but waking up from a new angle can literally shift your perspective. Adding a plant to your bedside table brings you fresh energy. Throwing away things that remind you of your old self – If it carries weird energy or feels tied to a version of you that no longer fits, it’s gotta go. Make space for the new you. Your space is a reflection of you so when you refresh it, your mindset naturally follows

[litdawndiaries]

[litdawndiaries]

hiya, please can we also have ted talk recommendations like your book recs post? :) for the categories you mentioned ♡ thank you

Here you go angel ♡

Business:

The Single Biggest Reason Why Startups Succeed - Bill Gross

The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers - Adam Grant

The Art of Stress-Free Productivity - David Allen

How to Pitch to a VC - David S. Rose

The Future of Money - Neha Narula

Personal Development:

The Art of Being Yourself - Caroline McHugh

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Lee Duckworth

The Power of Believing That You Can Improve - Carol Dweck

How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over - Mel Robbins

Try Something New for 30 Days - Matt Cutts

Mental Health:

The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage - Susan David

Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid - Guy Winch

Depression, the Secret We Share - Andrew Solomon

All it Takes is 10 Mindful Minutes - Andy Puddicombe

The Art of Stillness - Pico Iyer

Relationships:

The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship - Esther Perel

The Power of Vulnerability in Relationships - Tracy McMillan

Rethinking Infidelity... a Talk for Anyone Who Has Ever Loved - Esther Perel

The Mathematics of Love - Hannah Fry

The Hidden Influence of Social Networks - Nicholas Christakis

Success:

The Happy Secret to Better Work - Shawn Achor

Embrace the Near Win - Sarah Lewis

Why We Do What We Do - Tony Robbins

Keep Your Goals to Yourself - Derek Sivers

Why You Will Fail to Have a Great Career - Larry Smith

Goals:

The Power of Setting Goals - John Doerr

The Puzzle of Motivation - Dan Pink

Smash Fear, Learn Anything - Tim Ferriss

Why We Do What We Do - Tony Robbins

The Skill of Self-Confidence - Dr. Ivan Joseph

Self Love:

The Art of Being Yourself - Caroline McHugh

The Power of Vulnerability - Brené Brown

Your Elusive Creative Genius - Elizabeth Gilbert

The Psychology of Your Future Self - Dan Gilbert

The Surprising Science of Happiness - Dan Gilbert

Confidence:

Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are - Amy Cuddy

The Art of Self-Confidence - Dr. Ivan Joseph

Dare to Lead - Brené Brown

The Hidden Influence of Social Networks - Nicholas Christakis

The Confidence Gap - Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

Health & Wellness:

The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise - Wendy Suzuki

How to Make Stress Your Friend - Kelly McGonigal

The Science of Cells That Never Get Old - Elizabeth Blackburn

Why Dieting Doesn't Usually Work - Sandra Aamodt

The Art of Stillness - Pico Iyer

[litdawndiaries]

hi ♡ my question is what things can i do to spend more time alone and get comfortable in my solitude? particularly during a healing stage of your life where you’ve cut off people who drained you and now will be spending significant time alone

Hello! 💖

I absolutely love spending time with myself and treating myself to little outings. Even just sitting in peace at home. It feels so good when you learn how to be full all on your own. You start to get very picky about the type of people you allow in your life and the things you tolerate, because you don't want anyone to disturb your peace.

When you're trying to heal, it's very important to be good to yourself. Think of this time as a chance to really connect with who you are. Dive into activities you've always wanted to do. Reflect on your journey and where you see yourself going. Go on solo trips or little adventures. Explore parks, museums, or new places in your city. Maybe now's the time to start a new hobby or a book you've been setting aside. Learn to speak positively to and about yourself and build a habit of recognizing your worth. Prioritize self care routines. Your body's health matters too, so consider starting a new exercise routine or simply enjoy the outdoors with regular walks. If your surroundings feel a bit messy, cleaning up can refresh your space and mind. Get creative, be it through drawing, writing, cooking, or any artistic venture. Sometimes, just stepping back to relax and recharge is the best thing. Whether it's being kind to yourself, setting boundaries, celebrating your achievements, or finding peace in solitude, always choose what feels right for you. This period is a great opportunity to rediscover and love yourself. 💫

[litdawndiaries]

hi... me again :) basically, i recently left a relationship that was just draining me and he was giving me crumbs, not making me feel at all how i'd like to feel and be treated. meanwhile i was giving my absolute everything to make it work just for him to ghost me, be uncommunicative, distant, avoidant, tell me he doesn't know if we're right for each other. then he comes back all of a sudden and love bombs me, makes me feel like he's finally changing and tells me he loves me and has always wanted to be with me. then after he got me right where he wanted me to be when he felt i was pulling away, he then went back to his usual ways again after he succeeded.

i'm ready to heal and work on myself to get the life i *actually* want with someone who will actually treat me the way i want to be treated. but i can't help but see a pattern with the men i've been with... i keep being with men who don't treat me right. i saw a video that said 'rather than blaming others, look towards yourself and question why you keep allowing yourself to be treated that way and be with people who do that to you'.

do you have any advice on how i can stop attracting the same kind of bum men who don't want to put any effort in and don't care about commitment and love and everything that i've always wanted? do you know how i can look towards myself and see why i allow it? because i really want to break the cycle. i'm tired and i want more, i've prayed for more and i'm ready to receive more. i just don't know how to do the work for it...

thank you so much in advance ♡

Good on you for leaving that relationship. Remember that anything that is in alignment for you will not require you to suffer and do so much. Both people need to make it work. You can’t force anyone into loving you or choosing you. You can’t love anyone into loving you.

Men come back and love bomb women because they can. Because they know the women will take them back. There is a difference between a man coming back and realizing he wants to be with you and a man that is checking to see if he still has access to you.

At the same time, we need to be honest with ourselves about the role we play in our suffering. We can’t expect people to treat us differently if we are acting the same way. If you want things to change you need to change.

And that is really where the truth of all this lies. Until you focus on loving you more, seeing why you attract the same type of men, setting stronger boundaries. And being love instead of looking for love- the same thing is going to continue to happen.

If you want a happy healthy relationship, it starts with the one you have with yourself. It’s time to level up. Be the person you want to be. Embody the relationship you want to have with someone.

You have to go back to yourself. To your truth. To your creativity. To your self love. To your hope. Your inspiration. To your heart.

Let someone show you they are worthy of your love and everything you have to offer because you are magic and that is what you deserve.

[litdawndiaries]

hiya ! you said something so interesting... 'toxic love draws you in with chaos, drama, intensity, tricking you into believing it’s passion'

lately, i was journalling and reflecting on my past relationships as a teenager and noticed that in life, i've only been in 1 good relationship with a guy who actually treated me better than the other crazy, toxic boys i dated. but i self sabotaged. the honeymoon stage had ended, it was peaceful with him i think, which was boring to me. and i wasn't really getting his attention all the time anymore either, so i left him for a boy who was giving me attention but didn't want to commit and make me his girlfriend bc he wasn't 'ready' and just used me. it's just interesting to me that even back then, a love that seemed peaceful wasn't interesting to me, and i sabotaged the relationship, left the good boy for the bad boy. i was young so these relationships were probably never gonna last anyway but since that boy, i still always went for the love that was intense, a rollercoaster and wild bc that's all i've known of love from seeing my parents. even my past relationship from 18-20 was a rollercoaster and intense and passionate and toxic, but in no way peaceful at all. i think i'm still in the cycle. do you have any tips on how to break it? i hope to attract peaceful men now but i don't want to sabotage it. i know i'm not 15 anymore but still, i'm worried.

thank you! ♡

Hi beautiful girl,

I think we normally associate heartbreak with toxic love—the chaos, the betrayal, the drama. But sometimes, even healthy relationships leave behind wounds. Not because they were harmful, but because we weren't ready to receive them

Maybe it was peaceful. Maybe it was safe. Maybe they treated us with care. But we couldn’t see it. Or hold onto it. Or show up the way we wanted to

And when it’s over, it hurts in a different way. Not because of what they did—but because of what we lost in ourselves. The version of us that wanted to do better. The version that still hopes we’ll get another chance, this time with open hands and a healed heart.

Even if we don't recognize it

So what happens is we get stuck in this loop or pattern in dating toxic, unhealthy, but familiar. We confuse intensity for passion. We mistake inconsistency for mystery. We chase people who trigger our wounds because it feels like home—even when that “home” is rooted in pain

And until we heal the part of us that thinks love has to be earned, proved, or suffered for—we’ll keep circling the same storm, wondering why peace feels like a threat instead of a gift. No one wants to hear this, but until we heal those wounds and regulate our nervous system even if we recognize that something is good for us, we will sabotage it

Breaking this pattern means choosing differently Not just in who we date, but in how we show up It means staying when our nervous system wants to run It means calming the part of us that thinks love only counts if we have to fight for it

Because real love doesn’t have to hurt to be real. And once you heal, you will be incredibly unattracted to those types of behaviors. I can write a separate posts of the things that disgust me as an example

It's such a common trap, especially for those who grew up seeing love modeled as something unstable or unpredictable

What you described is a very common feeling.. the comfort and calm of that “good guy” relationship feeling boring, and the intensity of the unavailable one feeling more alive. But what’s so powerful here is that you’re aware of the cycle now—and that’s honestly the biggest and most important first step to breaking it

So a few tips angel would be for your to redefine what "exciting" feels like. Peace doesn’t mean boring. It might just mean emotionally safe. Start rewiring your idea of love by seeking subtle excitement—a shared laugh, a deep conversation, someone remembering your coffee order. These might feel “quiet” at first, but they’re golden

Journal when you feel the urge to sabotage or withdraw. Ask: “What am I afraid of right now? What am I trying to protect myself from?” Usually, it's fear of being unseen, unchosen, or abandoned. Bringing these fears into the light helps disarm them. Little you might still associate love with unpredictability or needing to “earn” attention. Remind her she’s lovable even when things are calm. You don’t have to perform or prove anything anymore

It’s not about dating someone “boring” but someone who brings consistency and clarity without the rollercoaster. Their presence won’t be loud, but it’ll feel steady. That’s a good sign

And girl, you're not 15 anymore and even if you were, we all have made not the best decisions with our love lives at times, it's how we grow. Please forgive yourself for this yesterday so you can let go of that lingering guilt and start rewiring your mind—you’re wiser, more grounded and so much more in tune with your needs. Mistakes don’t define you. Awareness and intention do