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no one appreciated this on twitter

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Their meat is so succulent and divine.

i let the furby skins soak in fabric softener after i washed them and my sis found them and sent me:

and i have never laughed so hard x’D

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Please enjoy this picture of my aunt and uncle after she tried to open a container of Quaker Oats.

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A few weeks ago I tried explaining to my non tumblr friends what blorbo/eeby deeby/glup shitto/scrunglo/plinko was and it almost gave all of us an aneurysm

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Me on the ice rink for the first time

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Good night ✨🌠💫

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Women are from Venus because it rhymes with penis (thing that women have) and men are from Mars because if you rearrange the letters in 'mars' you get 'arms' (thing that men have)

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“We’re Not So Different, You And I” - Part 59

(check out the other parts here)

What do these four have in common?

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WAIT!

I have a statistics project, would you mind helping me?

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Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it's so fun you'll love it Come into my wine cellar