literally-christraeger-blog
literally-christraeger-blog
2.8% Body Fat
7 posts
Chris Traeger || 26
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jessalias:
“Dude!” Jessica yelled in disgusted, wiping away the remnants off her arms. “You just sneezed directly on me, cover your mouth next time.” 
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"I'm sorry. Here." Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief handing it to the girl. "But seriously, do I look sick to you?"
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"There are literally so many other things we can do instead." Chris's eyes were wide with excitement. "But we've got to keep moving. I can't just stay still doing nothing for too long."
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“listen, i just… don’t want to go to the mall, okay? it’s not… i just… it’s just not my thing.”
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ACHOOO. Chris took a couple of heavy breaths. "OH No. It's happening." He put the back of his hand to his forehead. "Do I have a temperature? Because I can't get sick."
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drmindy:
  “Queen, huh ?” she questions, smug expression making it’s way on to her features, “I could get used to that.” But as he reaches for her arm, she pulls away, ultimately weirded out by his lack of boundaries. “ – watch it. I’ve got pepper spray in my purse & I’m not afraid to use it !”
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Chris quickly pulled his hand away. "No need." He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a quick step backwards. "There is literally no way a man with 2.8% body fat like myself would even consider getting in the way of a Queen and her donuts."
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Chris's face fell. "I'm so sorry. I am part of the problem aren't I?" He reached out and grabbed her arm. "I am literally the worst human being. You are the donut queen, and this is merely your kingdom that we are living in."
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  “There’s nothing wrong with a woman buying a dozen donuts for herself. Don’t give me that look. Now I know how those witches at Salem must’ve felt – being burned at the stake !! This is basically discrimination. If I was a man, you wouldn’t think twice.” 
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[Chris Traeger] - known in our world from [Parks & Rec] is a [twenty-six] year-old [government worker] in Seahaven. He is [compassionate] and [aggressively-enthusiastic] and driven by [literally everything]. The one word most used to describe him is [positive]. In this world, he looks like [Darren Criss]. 
Welcome to the world of Chris Traeger. For those of you who don't know me, I'm B. I also play Dorothy Zbornak. Anywho, not here to talk about her or me, so here's some deets on Chris: 
Chris is aggressively enthusiastic about everything. He is the most positive person you will ever encounter.
He does have his low moments, and usually they are over the top lows. It’s like the pendulum, swing too far in one direction, you’ll eventually bounce back the other way. #PHYSICS
When he was young the doctors told his parents he wouldn’t live very long due to a rare blood disease. Chris is alive and oh so well today, and he doesn’t take a moment for granted.
Chris is a very dedicated human to his work, and to his friends. He may drive some people away with his enthusiasm, but he  also pushes everyone to work hard.
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