literallyanythingabouteverything

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omfg i forgot that i never showed tumblr my greatest achievement. my pride and joy, my pi-ass de résistance

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Pigeon Party 🕊 Pigeon prints here!

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I'm going to connect some dots

Republicans are building a concentration camp in the Everglades, with plans to build more in other states.

They are "deputizing" militia lunatics and sending them out to terrorize our communities.

They just gave ICE a bigger budget than the USMC. FORTY BILLION DOLLARS.

They keep talking about deporting people who are American citizens, people who have done nothing wrong, who have broken no laws. In some cases, they've already done that. They've talked about suspending habeas corpus and declaring martial law.

They are telling us, in word and in deed, that they are turning their rage and violence directly onto American citizens. RIght now, they are laser focused on terrorizing immigrant communities, but this will not stop with the communities they are terrorizing right now. They are going to go after journalists, professors, influencers who don't fall into line, and more.

They are building a police state, in plain sight, and they are telling us exactly what they are going to do when they are done.

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I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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i love the term "joshing." it's slang, meaning to joke or tease playfully. "i'm just joshing you." who is this notorious josh. who joshed so much that the whole concept got named after him

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Baby Clifford & baby Snoopy

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obsessed with this photo my friend took of me simply talking & doing my job but it looks like i'm about to be killed by the thing

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something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

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obligatory post today

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Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

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they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

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i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh