litomilo

[litomilo]

I need to kiss girls NOWWW

[litomilo]

miss you

billie eilish x reader ⭐

context: just listen to miss you by conan gray!

warnings: angst but happy ending ig, use of y/n, not proof read, im pretty sure i didn't use any pronoun other than "you" to refer to the reader idk

a/n: i wrote this thinking about one of my college classes, one of my teachers said that hate is not the opposite of love, but rather the closest feeling to it that can be found and damn she's so right 💔

You thought you weren't made for love. You weren't made to love or be loved, and maybe you didn't even deserve it. After a few relations and situationships you started thinking that you were a difficult person to deal with. You didn't want to bother whoever ended up falling in love with you — since that was what always happened. So you just pushed them away.

You constantly thought about the strange monotony that love began to reveal in your life. Always the same, but in the end, only one thing changed: if you wasn't hurt, you were the one who hurt someone, consequently hurting yourself as well.

Hurt by unrequited love, by harsh words, maybe by abandonment, or even by the melancholy caused by remembering important memories and unfulfilled promises... Or hurt by guilt, regret, remorse, anguish and so many other feelings caused by having hurt someone, even if it was necessary or what you thought was the best thing to do.

When you meet Billie you felt it all again. You felt happy, special, loved, but then all the possible good things you felt got blurred and momentarily forgotten 'cause of the paranoid.

I'm so hard to deal with, she won't stay.

That's what you always told yourself. But if you leave first it won't hurt that much, right?

After ghosting her for about three days you had several lost calls in your call logs and texts in all the apps possible.

"y/n?"

"did i do something? why don't you answer?"

"look idk what happened but i'm sorry"

"talk to me pls"

You gave her a week, maybe two, to give up and stop texting you. That's what always happens, One day they always disappear and you move on with your life.

You were surprised, what always happened didn't happen. She insisted, kept texting you almost daily for a whole month, sometimes she even knocked on your door, you never answered. She slipped two or three letters through your door.

"hi, it's me, billie, again.

i know you don't want to see me anymore, but i wanna know why, can we PLEASE talk about it? i can't bear the thought of possible have hurt you, that's killing me.

i'm so sorry, please let's talk, just to sort things out, i promise you'll never see me again if that's what you really wants.

i love you so much, i'm missing you, y/n/n."

Fuck.

You couldn't move on. She wouldn't let you do that, or maybe you just loved her too much to let go. That's exactly why you didn't block her at all and spent nights conflicted about calling her, but you didn't want to face reality.

In that one month that passed you couldn't talk to anyone else, you wanted to prove to yourself that you had overcome it, you didn't need her, but how do you do that when no one captivates you or calls your attention, not even for a simple hookup.

"I don't know why... why don't she just fucking give up?" you ask your best friend, in tears, through the phone. they keep quiet for a few seconds, then sigh.

"Maybe it's because she loves you?" they say as if it was already obvious, and it actually was "I think it's pretty clear at this point that she's not like the others, and you still keep pushing her away... You're not only hurting yourself, you're hurting her too, y'know?" you don't say anything, just sob and sniff, then they continue "Call her, you should talk and try to explain yourself, y/n, i keep telling you that pushing people away just 'cause you're starting to get attached is not nice and, as your best friend, i need to tell you that this time you've really messed up".

You didn't want to give in, you were too proud for that, but in one of those nights you just senseless called her, and she picked up.

"Y/n??" you hear her soft voice on the other side of the line, she sounds so worried, she was so worried "Hey, love, are you there?" and that was all it takes for you to break down.

"Come over, please" that's all you could say between sobs.

"Fine, i'm on my way, okay?" you just nod, even tho she couldn't see it.

She stayed on the line all the way, trying to calm you down until she parked in front of your house. You hang up the call and gone to the front foor as soon as you heard her car. When she was about to knock on the door, you opened it, immediately hugging her.

You hear a soft gasp leave her lips, but she hugs you back, her hands finding your hair, stroking it soothingly while guiding you inside and closing the door with her foot.

"I'm sorry" you whisper with your face buried in her hoodie "I shouldn't have pushed you away, but I was so scared"

"Scared? Of what?" she asks confused, her right hand holding your chin gently to make you look up at her.

"Of loving you and I thought you were going to end up leaving me so I just left first" you say feeling her thumb wipe the tears away from your face.

"I would never leave you, i love you, y/n" Billie said kissing your forehead and sitting you on the couch with her "have you pushing me away broke my heart".

"I never meant to, I just... I didn't knew how to cope with everything I was feeling, I thought that pushing you away would be the best but I spent all these past weeks only wanting you" you say resting your head on her shoulder "I'm so sorry, I miss you" she looks at you, her heart clenching at the sigh of your teary eyes.

"Shh, it's fine... It's okay" she whispers pulling you closer against her chest "y'know i missed you too".

[litomilo]

what the fuck does conan gray put in his bridges

[litomilo]

Karaaa do you have a gf??

no, im single <3

and happy ! my ex was terrible

[litomilo]

I LOST THE REQUEST LOL but ty babyyy

btw it might take me a while to post the other requests cuz i just i have a terrible allergy in MY EYES, it's really itchy, so i'm avoiding being on my cell phone or any type of screen, sorry

billie eilish x fem!reader 🧷

billie is on tour for a few months, unfortunately you couldn't be with her at all the shows that happened until then, but you took this week to accompany her and to be honest, what a week. you could feel how stressful and overwhelming it was being for your girlfriend, and it made you feel upset.

very specifically today a not very pleasant situation happened on stage, billie was sitting on the floor performing 'what was i made for?' and someone just threw a necklace right on her face. later that night you notice that she was more she was more sensitive and irritable and almost immediately you knew what was happening.

"love?" you called out for her as you got out the bathroom and you came across her lying in bed under the covers, probably using her cell phone. the only response you get from her was a grumpy hum "what's up, huh?" you asked climbing on the bed and kneeling by your side "you good?".

billie sighed taking the blanket off her head and putting her cellphone aside, looking at you instead of the screen "just i'm a little stressed" she said clearly upset "wahha talk?" you asked stroking her hair. she remained silent for a while just feeling your soft touch, but then she started "y'know, the whole tour is stressful, even tho i try to make it something fun and enjoyable for me 'cause... that's my job and i want to work with something i like" she vented while you just stood there in silence listening to her and trying to comfort her with your touch "and i also don't know why, but the fan throwing the necklace right on my face tonight made me sensitive".

you tilted your head understanding the situation "well, that's sucks, i know... but hear me out, as stupid as it was, i'm sure whoever threw the necklace at you didn't mean to hurt you" you whispered kissing her forehead "i know, but it annoyed me" she muttered "i bet it did, i'm so sorry... can i do something to make you feel better?"

billie thought for a few seconds and then pulled you into her arms "maybe you could stay right here in my arms the whole night, huh?" you giggled at her speech and nodded against her chest, laying your head there "sounds nice, baby" she holds you tightly as you answer and kiss your hair "love you so much" you whisper "and i love you more".

[litomilo]

every time she wears that shorts combo i feel a tear fall down my legs.

like actually suffocate me with ur thighs

[litomilo]

hi! could you write a fic of fem reader with billie based on alex and nat’s song “soft kissing hour”? that song legit has me in tears😭 and billie’s backing vocals???😭‼️ just a super fluffy soft fic of the two of us. maybe after we both get home for the day and we’re sleepy just snuggling and being together all cozy on the couch? something like that. seriously LOVE your writing!!😭 happy birthday to our girl🥰🩵

🫡

billie eilish x fem!reader 💤

it was friday. billie had just arrived home, but was already comfortably lying in bed. you texted her a few minutes ago to let her know that you would arrive a little later than usual since your bus was late. the very first thing you've done when you got home was rush into your room and take off your black boots. at the moment your gaze found her you smiled noticing the way she was wrapped in the sheets with her hair slightly messy.

"hi baby" you greeted your girlfriend climbing into bed to give her a quick kiss, but soon walked away "hey... where are you going? come back hereee" billie asked slyly and you frown "no, i need a shower. but i'll be quick, okay?" billie nodded, even though she didn't cared about you take that shower or not, she just wanted you to lay down by her side so she could feel the comfort and warmth of your body as soon as possible.

during the almost 15 minutes that you were in the bathroom, billie just listened to the running of the shower and watched the door, waiting for you to come out at any moment. when you came out billie smiled adjusting herself in bed to make room for you to lie down next to her.

"i knew you would survive to a few minutes without me" you said just to tease her and she rolled her eyes, which drew a soft chuckle from you as you snuggled under the covers with her "to be honest, it was close, maybe if you had taken a few more minutes i wouldn't have survived" she said in a dramatic way, but despite the joke, she really missed you so much.

you smiled at her playful speech and wrapped your arms around her waist, burying your face in the crook of her neck, the feeling of your warm body against billie's caused a soft contented sigh to escape her. she kissed your hair, stroking it gently.

"how was your day?" you whispered moving your head so you could face her "was good" she whispered back "but i thought about you every single minute of it, so you know... i missed you" you giggled softly de amused by her needy behavior "well, i missed you too, so much" you said resting your chin on her chest while she ran her hands through your hair, removing some strands from your face and tucking them behind your ear.

billie moved her hands down to your cheeks, her hands were warm and soft as she looked at you with a loving gaze, she moved slightly and pulled you closer giving you a slow and delicate kiss that made you close your eyes and smile completely unconsciously during it, adjusting yourself into a more comfortable position knowing she would probably keep you up all night.

[litomilo]

WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY GIRL TODAYYYYY 🥳🎊

lots of love and happiness for bils, the most amazing human being i know :)

i'll do all the requests i get today to celebrate this december 18th, enjoy 😸

[litomilo]

BILLIE EILISH | Tiny Desk Concert (2024)

[litomilo]

I'm Sorry

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: saw this video on tiktok of this girl accidentally breaking a gift her bf got her and her being so apologetic, and I can just imagine how bill would be with you:(

Summary: Billie reassures you when you accidentally break her gift.

Warnings: none just fluff ! Kinda angst tho ??

Masterlist

It was time again. Your birthday, just another year of getting older. You were currently laying in bed, half asleep as the sun was shining through the curtains. You then feel hands on your shoulders. "Babyy, its your birthday!" Billie sings as she says that. You cover your face. "Does it have to be." She plops down on the bed. "Oh come on, it's not every day you're 21!" You open an eye to see she had a few gifts. Your other eye opens as you look at her. "Bubba, I thought we agreed on two at most." She puts her finger up to your lips. "I couldn't help myself."

You sigh with a bright smile, sitting up to prepare for her little gifts. She hands you the first one, some clothes you had been wanting. Next up, some skin care. She was always so thoughtful of the things you needed. And lastly, maybe your favorite. You open up the wrapping revealing a glass red rose. You marvel at it. "I know how much you love roses and how upset you get when they start to die, but this way you can have it all the time." She smiles at you. Your eyes meet hers as you almost have tears in them. You leap over to hug her tightly.

"Thank you baby! I love it so so much." She smiles. "Knew you would." Her hands grab your face, thumb swiping over your cheek. "Happy birthday angel." She leans in to kiss you softly, so glad you like the gifts. "Some of them came from your mother. I put them in a vase already for you." You then kiss her cheek, placing the glass rose down on the bedside table. "Thank you babe, I'll go smell them soon."

A few days pass and you honestly had the best birthday ever, Billie was spoiling you like crazy. Took you out for a nice meal too. Today you were working from home, doing some needed chores along the way. Bill was at Finneases working on some stuff in his studio. You did take a small break though. Getting into bed and scrolling for a glass case to put around your new gift. Just to make sure it's safe. You go to grab your water, but as you do. Eyes glued to your screen. You hear a shatter. Uh oh. Your head turns slowly.

Panic rising within you. "Fuck. No no no." You say frantically trying not to freak out. You get on the floor picking up the pieces. Shit. It was really broken. You cry. Cry because you broke the sweetest gift, given by the sweetest person and you broke it. You curse at yourself. You feel so stupid. You're an idiot your brain tells you.

How.

Could.

You.

You grab the pieces, but as you do you accidentally cut your finger. "Shit!" You winced. How could this get any worse. You pick up any remaining shards. Standing up and contemplating. She was gunna hate you. You thought. You don't blame her, you had only just got it. Your hands go to your hair, all these bad thoughts rushing through. You were going to have a shower after you got the case. But now you don't even need the case because you stupidly broke the rose. So. Stupid. Your tears still streaming down your face, you felt so awful. The image of Billie being so hurt right after she was so excited giving it to you.

You get into the shower, sliding down the wall. All you could think about was how she was going to react when she comes home. The hot water ran over your crying form. You hadn't even heard the front door open and Billie calling out like she always does. Until you hear faint footsteps and the bathroom door open. "Baby?" Had she seen it yet...

"Y-yeah.." You reply, she opens up the curtain to see you in the position you were in. Confused as anything. "What's going on love?" She always knew when something was bothering you. "I'm so sorry." You pathetically cry out. "Baby, talk to me." She says stopping the water from running. You just shake your head, lip quivering. "Sweetheart, please." You take a moment. "Don't hate me." You weakly say. "How could I ever?" Her bewilderment made your heart ache more for what you are about to tell her.

"Go look on my bedside floor." Your voice was hushed. So incredibly worried as she goes to do so. Her eyes land on the last little bits of glass, looking at the shattered mess on your table. Her heart breaks, but not because you broke it and most definitely by accident. It was because you were so upset, she hated seeing you upset. She comes back in the room to you still in tears. "Bub, hey. It's ok." - "it's not. Im so sorry I'm so-" She stops your apologies. "Baby. We can fix it. It's fixable. And if not I'll just buy you another. I swear to you. It's all ok."

Her voice was tender. So soft and reassuring. Your crying settles just a bit. "Are you sure?" She nods. "So incredibly sure. I'm not mad my girl, never ever would be." Her hand extends out for yours. You take it and get out of the shower. "Are you hurt?" You pout at how sweet she was, you loved this woman to absolute death. "What?" She chuckles. You just shake your head. "Youre just so kind, I love you." She brings you in for a hug, you wrap your arms tightly around her. She couldn't give a single fuck that your body was dripping wet.

It lasted for a long time, before she pulls back and looks at you. "I did just a tiny bit but I'm ok." You state. "Where abouts?" You show her the red mark on your thumb, she grabs it. Bringing it to her lips as kissing it gently. "Like I said before if we can't fix it I'll buy a new one, this time with a case."

"Great idea."

[litomilo]

Honeymoon. | b.e

summary: whats so wrong in giving an world famous popstar an chance, right? you just wasn’t aware of how far she would go for you.

warnings:, kissing, teasing, you have an annoying bsf, no use of y/n, !fem reader, !switch reader, !soft dom billie, extra caring billie, so much personal attention, men.

— 9pm, in a small venue, LA.

You held in your friend’s hand, as julie dragged you in the middle of the small crowd. The both of you ended up sitting on an table, just an few inches from the stage. You felt weird, you wouldn’t even be here right now if julie’s friend, drew, wasn’t “sick”, it was weird, she just vanished away. The only thing you knew for sure, is that drew is an close friend of billie. fucking. eilish.

Everyone in LA was connected somehow, and now, you ended up in a exclusive small but luxurious venue were billie was going to perform a few songs. You took a little too serious the ‘luxurious’ part… you wore an low cut velvet dress, it was dark red, it looked almost like blood. You felt the looks all over you as you sat on your table, but quickly everyone just got back to mind their business.

“you look so hot tonight girl” julie spoke as she eyed you up and down.

“look at yourself babe..” you said as you playfully smirked at her, flirting was an common thing between you two.

“i have something to tell you… please don’t get mad at me.” she said with puppy eyes as you took a deep breath just waiting to know what she was going to say.

“i’ve been invited to an after party of this, but they only would let me be there, if i brought you with me.” she said, not realizing how weird that request was.

“wait, what? what do you mean? who wanted you to take me here? and why me?” you were just confused, so fucking confused, julie was that girl who would do anything to have an second of the spotlight, or at least, feel like she is exclusive. An average LA girl, desperate for attention.

“they didn’t told me who wanted you there, but come onn, i promise it will be fun… i heard that it is going to be in billie’s apartment” she tried to convince you, smirking at the last sentence cause she knew that you liked billie a little too much.

“if you get in trouble, i won’t clean up your mess julie.” you said with an serious tone, quickly she smirked, you knew she was using you to get what she wanted, but you couldn’t care less.

A few minutes passed until billie was on stage, she was wearing a big black tee, with some baggy jeans. Nothing special, but you still were with your eyes glued on her.

She noticed you, but quickly changed her focus to some other table close to the stage… giving you a sort of special attention, just enough to make you want more of it.

— 1am, in billie’s after party, LA.

Never crossed your mind an single thought that you would be in an place like this, loud music, a bunch of famous people, paparazzis trying to sneak in… it was just too much. And of course, you ended up alone on a corner, sitting alone on a chair as you tried to distract yourself.. but you still felt weird, like someone was watching you.

Suddenly you felt an hand brushing your shoulder, you looked up to see an much older men.. not that old.. he was what? maybe 38? 40? still too old for you. But that type of guys search for an barely legal girl, and now she was looking at you like you would make his fantasy of fucking an desperate 21 yr old… That wasn’t your case.

“im not interested.” you said in a serious tone, loud enough for him to hear you.

“come on, do you know who i am, darling? i could make all your wishes come true.” he said trying to touch you even more, as you got up and was ready to walk towards the room and away from him, from all that mess.

“not me.” i replied as he tried to grab your arm, in the exact moment that he grabbed you… you saw an girl with bangs and red roots stepping towards the both of you, that men was tamed only with her presence, without saying a word, he walked away from you as the girl stared deadly at his soul.

It was billie, billie. fucking. eilish. was saving you from an weirdo. She looked at you, with her crystal clear eyes, it just made your body shiver.

“are you okay?” she said with an soft voice, she was worried? with you? you just couldn’t believe this.

“yes… nothing surprising.” you said giggling was you felt yourself getting even more nervous.

“are you sure? let me give you some water okay?”you went quiet, nodding your head and saying you don’t need anything.. as she proceeds.

“i just feel guilty when things like that end up happening in my parties… please, can i at least make it up for you?” she said with an worried voice, making you give in to her.

“o-okay then.” you said as she took your hand carefully, taking you to the second part of her apartment, an quiet place were you could relax and forget a bit that men exist..

— 2am, on billie’s living room, LA.

You were now sitting on her couch, as she handed you an glass of water, sitting by your side, but not close enough to make you panic.

“im so sorry for that..” she said not looking at you, clearly embarassed about what happened.

“it was not your fault.” you said as she finally looked up to see you, she stared at you like she was searching something in you… she looked at you like she knew everything about you.

“you are all by yourself?” she questioned in a soft tone.

“actually i was with an friend… but she just vanished.. im not worried because she do this everytime we hang out… so yeah, im all by myself.” you replied with disappointment towards julie.

“not anymore, can i be your friend for a night?” she asked with an playfully smile, that fucking smile.

“only if you are capable of standing me.” i reply in the same playfully tone, but she was looking at me now in an even more suggestive way.

“im sure i can.” she replied, with the same tone, but now, her voice was lower.

At this point, you were unable to control yourself, to pretend ur not into her… your body betrays your mind, you smirk at her, giving her the confirmation that she wanted you to give.

“this dress looks pretty on you.” she says looking at you up and down, taking an little extra time to stare at your dress slit, she was admiring your exposed thigh as it like an work of art… and looking back at you as she was starving.

“stop that.” you said with your voice even lower, not knowing if you should look at her eyes or her mouth. You just knew she was devouring you with her sharp stare.

“stop what? im not doing nothing… you want me to do something, huh?” she spoke playing dumb as she bit her lip.

“shut up.” you said as you two got closer to each other. Now your hand was on the back of her neck, while she holded your waist carefully. She holded you like you were a porcelain doll, like she was afraid to break you.

“you want this? i will do anything… but just if you want to.” she says softly with her eyes half lided, looking at you, searching for an answer.

“please, i want you all.” you broke the eye contact while you said that, you were just too embarassed.. but that was the only thing she wanted to hear, she didn’t wait not even an second, she just kissed you. It was soft, but at the same time, it was hungry… she was exploring you, slowly, making every touch almost cinematographic.

You aren’t used to that softness, you quickly got on her lap, straddling her as she touched you softly. Exploring your body like it was something she was craving for, taking her time to feel all of you.

But in every dream, you wake up in the end. You felt like this when you heard your phone ring, julie’s name was across the screen… you quickly got up to answer her call.

“where are you? meet me up outside… quick please.” her tone was demanding, like you were the one who let her all alone. she quickly hang up not letting you being able even to reply to her and put her on her place.

“i need to go.. im so sorry.” you took your purse as billie got up too.

“no problem…” she said, clearly not knowing what to say… you were going to reply as you dropped your phone on her living room, it just ended up below her coffee table. You was slowly lowering yourself to catch it, but suddenly you felt her hand harshly pushing you back up.

“i get it for you.” she says in an kinda of nervous tone? you were just confused, but didn’t ask any questions. She got your phone as she smiled, clearly trying to make the situation less akward.

“thanks..” you smile back at her, as her arms start hugging your waist.

“do you really have to go..?” she said in an needy tone, almost looking up at you. One fun fact, you’ve only realized how short billie was in that moment.

“yeah.. i wanted to stay, i swear” you say as she let go off your waist.

“let me show you an another way out then, the front door is full of paparazzis, would you like me to escort you out, princess?” she spoke as she smirked, and you let her hold your hand and drag you to her back door.

There was some stairs, but you really didn’t care. You were almost glad to spend more time with her, even if it was a few seconds. It was magical, its like she knew everything that you liked, everything you wanted her to say, it was crazy. She was able to make you laugh, tease you, flirt with you, calm you down. It felt almost like she knew you, all about you.

As you two were about to walk out the door, she quickly pressed you against the wall and kissed you. It wasn’t long at all, but it seem so much more than just a kiss. That couldn’t be just a kiss, it was an desire, an craving, an urge to make you hers.

“ready?” she whispered before getting a little far away from you.. almost opening the door. As she opened, we could feel the flashes, all the paparazzi. We walked a little bit more, now being protected by billie’s security guard. Julie was sitting below an tree, she just saw the flashes and runned to jump on billie’s arms.. but she failed. Billie’s security just blocks her way to do so, and she almost fell down.

“sorry for that, bye billie.” i say as i help julie to get up and walk, she was so fucking drunk.

“see you soon.” she say as i walk away… what did she meant by that? you’ve really thought it was over by now, that she just would look for another girl to play with.

As you got on an táxi, your phone vibrated…

“unknown number, 2 new messages.”

— HIII, thank you sm for reading!! english its not my mother language so im really sorry if theres some grammar or spelling mistakes, hope you guys enjoy it!! pt 2 coming soon!!

[litomilo]

And it turns out that if you do what you want and if you are yourself, people actually like you more. It's really hard to accept that. And it's scary and it's vulnerable and it means that you can have experiences that are more hurtful because it's actually you. But there's more pros than there are cons. Billie Eilish Breaks Down Her Career, from 'Ocean Eyes' to 'Barbie' | Vanity Fair

[litomilo]

Hi! can u do a fic where billie comes home and sees reader cuddling with shark and shes in awe! Maybe she posts it on her insta story and her fans are goin crazy hehe

Cuddle buddies

Billie had just wrapped up a long day in the studio, the weight of her work melting away with each step she took towards home. As she opened the door, a warm glow greeted her, and she felt the familiar comfort of her space envelop her.

As she walked in, the sight that met her made her heart swell. You were curled up on the couch, a cozy blanket draped over you, with Shark nestled beside you, his head resting on your lap. The two of you looked so peaceful, completely at ease in your little bubble of warmth.

Billie couldn’t help but pause at the doorway, a soft smile creeping onto her lips. She loved moments like these—simple yet perfect. You looked up, sensing her presence, and your eyes sparkled with warmth.

“Hey, babe,” you said softly, a smile breaking across your face.

“Hey,” she replied, taking a moment to absorb the scene. “You two look adorable.”

You laughed, your fingers absently scratching Shark behind the ears. “Just having a little cuddle session while I waited for you.”

Billie couldn’t resist pulling out her phone. She snapped a quick picture of you both, your peaceful expression contrasting with the playful pup beside you. With a cheeky grin, she added a caption: “Cuddle buddies for life. 💚” before posting it to her Instagram story.

Within moments, notifications flooded in. Fans went wild, commenting and reacting to the cute snapshot. “I can’t handle this!” one fan wrote. “Shark is living his best life!” another exclaimed. The comments poured in, filled with hearts and excitement, all focused on how precious the moment was.

Billie chuckled, reading through the replies. “Looks like you’ve stolen the show,” she teased, walking over to join you on the couch.

You scooted over to make room for her, and she sank into the cushions, wrapping her arms around both you and Shark. “I think I’m gonna need a cuddle too,” she said, sighing contentedly.

As you all settled in, Billie felt a sense of gratitude wash over her. In this moment, with you and Shark by her side, everything felt right in the world. The chaos of her career faded away, leaving just the warmth of home, love, and a cozy cuddle session.

“Best way to end a day,” she whispered, looking at you with adoration. You smiled back, the love in your eyes mirroring hers, as Shark let out a content sigh, happy to be surrounded by his favorite humans.

[litomilo]

people died

[litomilo]

Come To Me

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: a lil lot self reflective ? I have a parent that is homophobic, it's a horrible thing but its sadly reality. I got this idea so I hope you enjoy. I notice how protective and caring Billie can get over the ones she loves :)

Summary: it was taking a toll on you, you couldn't handle how he treated you anymore it was just too much, so when you announced your new girlfriend in hopes he'd just understand, that's when things go south.

Warnings: angst angst angst, fluff at the end tho ! Homophobic parent.

Masterlist

It wasn't your fault. But it truly seemed like it. You lived with your dad for years, ever since you were 5, your mother had never been around so it was just the two of you. Everything was great he was sweet to you. That was until you got to the age of about 7 or 8, he started to not care as much. And it was always confusing when he did. You just wished he'd show it all the time. Not just when he felt like it. So it came a shock to him when you first said you might like girls. You were 13 and had a suspicion that you could infact like females.

"Don't be ridiculous. You'll settle down with a man, you don't even know what you want yet."

And that suck in your brain for years, you didn't truly see how horrible he ended up until later on. 16. You had genuinely figured out that you were into girls, you had your first kiss with one that year and it showed you how you that was. That was what you wanted. You wanted to be with girls. Kiss them. Make love with one. But it frightened you, as you were still living with your father, what he had said scared you. You had to pretend that you did like guys. Fake who you genuinely were. It was tiring by the age of 18.

So you decided to move out, be on your own where you wouldn't worry about accidentally saying how you loved women. Whenever you were on the phone with your friend you'd have to make sure none of you said anything along the lines, incase he listened. Incase he heard how 'a wrong thing' you felt was.

Now we are in the present. You had just turned 21, chilling out in your apartment. Watching something random on the TV. You had just been to see your girlfriend, Billie. When your phone dings.

Dad. ...

Hey angel, want to come round for some drinks to celebrate a late birthday?

You stare at it for a moment, you absolutely hated whenever he'd be sweet to you. It always seemed fake, even if he wasn't. It never ever lasted even when you moved out you'd get yelled at for fucking breathing. You couldn't escape it, not once. You take a moment not even sure if you want to, getting a bad feeling about it. But your dumbass says yes. Was it the name? It gave you hope he mightve actually loved you, and not because he has to. But it was never the case. He didn't love you. Unconditional love did not. Exist to him.

The door opens and you see him, he smiles and gives you a hug. But you hated this, you had tried to avoid seeing him for the past few years. You couldn't bare it. It would give you false hope that he changed. But there's no changing. Not now. So if you stayed away you wouldn't have to deal with him, deal with his niceness one day and horrible the next. As if you were a child again. Staying far away was the only option. You go into the house, putting the bottle of alcohol on the kitchen counter. "How have you been." He asks, following. "Not too bad, you?" "Same same." You nod, unsure of how to continue.

He seemed off, maybe he started drinking already. He claimed he wasn't an alcoholic but he really was. He had stopped in the past but nearly every night he'd drink, when you were a kid, teen, and even now. More so that he's retired. "So, anything new?"

I have a girlfriend and I'm gay.

"Not really no."

He nods, trying to find something to talk about. "I didn't make anything, but we can order something? Maybe McDonald's?" Your brows furrow just slightly. You use to always eat that when you were a kid, and maybe on the off occasion now but you hadn't had it in forever. "I don't really eat that anymore dad, maybe some Chinese or something." You then say, fiddling with your rings. "Yeah, that's fine. When did you stop eating it." You think for a second. "Maybe like 4 years ago?" The air was awkward again. Why was he acting as if he knew you. He truly knew nothing about you. Nor did he even try.

It had been an hour or so, you had got food and were trying to find some kind of topic to talk on. You had, had a few drinks. "Well, uhm was your birthday good?" You nod gently. "I spent it with some friends and I got a bunch of nice things too, from them and my gi-" You pause, but your mind said fuck it. You don't live with him anymore you live your own life now. "My girlfriend." He stares for a second. "Is this a new friend or that one you'd always call?" You sigh, he was ignoring the fact. He knew damn well. "I'm dating someone. A girl." More silence. Was it staying that way? Until he speaks. "You said that years ago, or something like it. Youre just confused still."

Something ignites in you. Maybe it was the alcohol or the pent up stress from your job but you fire back. "I know what I want and it's her. I'm far from confused." He shakes his head and goes to talk again but your anger wins, instantly shutting him up. "And no I don't have any interest in men I don't want to be with one. I don't want to marry one. But I think I have you to blame for that because you were the shittiest one in my life." You didn't want this to carry on, getting up and heading for the door. "Keep the booz I'm sure you'll drink it no problem." Now he was angry.

"Dont ever speak to me that way." You swiftly turn around. "Why? Because you know good and fucking well that it's the damn truth, that you're an alcoholic asshole, and a horrible father." Slap.

.....

Your worst fear came to reality. He'd never physically hurt you, always mentally. But you'd always wonder if he ever would, if something one day would really set him off and that was this moment. You hold your cheek as the sting spreads through your face, your finger moves to your nose feeling slight blood. Not much, but considering his strength it would definitely leave some marks. Everything was still. You didn't dare look at one another. "I don't ever want to see you again." You mumbled, but he heard. "Wait-" As if he felt guilty. He did that loud and proud. You just instantly turn around.

Heading for the door, he follows after but you were quicker to your car. "Y/n!" You were gone, never ever wanting to see him again. As you were driving slightly drunk you got a text from work and all you wanted to do was scream. Ofcourse they text right now. Then you got a call. Billie, you answer. "Hi." Your voice was slightly shakey but it wasn't evident through the speaker. "Hey! Was thinking about coming around, just got done with my shit for the day. I missed you." Your tears start pouring out, a sob escaping. "Baby?" You hear her say, you just hum in response. "What's going on you're worrying me." Her tone changed to tense. Serious. Then she heard your car in the background. Making her heart race like crazy. You had your phone on speaker but you put it down. "Pull over." She speaks, but your tears were firey. Your face stung. "Baby please pull over." She repeated.

After she got no reply again, she freaks out. You honestly couldn't hear her, your ears ringing and your mind fogged with everything that happened, you wanted to forget it all. Erase it from your brain. "Y/n, fucking pull over!" She screamed, that. You heard. Coming back to your senses and doing just that into a nearby gas station. She heard the car stop letting out a relived breath. "Jesus christ." She then says. "Where are you, please talk to me." She knew something horrible was up. You never ever wanted to bombard her with your past. Or even tell her about your father.

You told her tiny bits but not everything. Maybe it was time you did. But your slightly drunk state rejected that. "I'm fine, just needed to blow off some steam." You utter, so dry. So cold. And it was frustrating her she couldn't help. She couldn't do anything because she knew you were lying. She knew something wasn't right. "Where. Are. You." You let out a breath. "Talk later." She curses under her breath panicking as you hang up. How on earth was she going to find you. Your door opens as you get out of the car. Your intoxicated mind telling you too keep going. Maybe the sting on your face would ease.

You buy a bottle of whatever, going back out to your car to drink it. But soon the tears just come pouring out. All you wanted was to get home and curl up into bed. So you did, and you had 0 clue on how you made it, your vision blurry from the mix of tears and drunkenness. You had only just stepped through the door when your phone rings, but you had no energy to answer. Plopping your bag down on the floor, worrying about it later. You kick your shoes off somewhere. Also going to worry about them later. You fall to the floor, tears still coming down your cheeks, except this time your emotions had vanished. When yu hear your front door swing open.

Your head turns to see Billie standing there, worry and anger on her face. But the worrying look overtook it all. "What the fuck happened." Her brows knit together, noticing you're crying. "Fuck babe, I was terrified." Those emotions come back, seeing her face. And everything she brings with, her unconditional love. That's all you ever wanted. Was to truly feel that. You sob, heavy. And her heart just breaks, hurts to see you this way. Her hands make contact with your skin. "Did you fall over?" Her thumb swipes the growing bruise around your eye. "Fuck babe." She says more to herself. The redness on your check and the tiny dried up blood just beneath your nose. Your head shakes at her question. "Well you've been drinking, I can smell it. Did you drive home like this?" You nod, really not trusting your voice right now.

"Fuck." She lowers her head. "Don't do that shit, talk to me instead please." You hiccup trying to calm yourself down. "Hey hey, I'm not mad or anything yeah?" You nod "I know.. I'm just sorry." She purses her lips. "Don't be sorry, just talk to me. You know you can." Her thumb soothes over your face again, sensing you don't want to talk right now especially considering your state. "Come on." She softly says, grabbing your waist and getting you to stand. Your wobbly form almost makes you fall back down but her grip tightens. "Did someone do this to you?" Her face was almost back to angry again at the thought.

And when you anxiously don't reply her eyes widen. "Did they?" Your eyes shut for a second. But she drops the topic, taking you into your bathroom. She sits you up on the sink, grabbing a warm wet cloth. Gently wiping your face from the makeup you had on, the remainders that was. Your tears had ruined most of it. You then had the sudden urge to tell her, tears starting up again. "My dad.. He did it. I went to go see him and we drunkenly got into an argument and he hit me hard." Her face drops, hating seeing you in such distress, it hurt her. "S-so. I left and I didn't know what to do and-" You hiccup again but Billie just brings you in for a comforting well needed hug. You cry into her shoulder, letting everything over the years out. And you felt like you could with her.

You felt safe, that kinda safe that you've never felt before. Her hand rubs gently up your back landing in your hair, resting her chin ontop of your head. You sat like that for awhile until you had calmed down again. You tell her everything, sitting on your bed and explaining. "What a douche." She says shaking her head. You nod in response. "Thank you." You then blurt out. She was slightly confused. "What for?" - "For making me feel so safe. You're the only person in my life who does." She grabs your face, so delicately. And kisses you sweetly. You knew this is what you want, what you've always wanted. No man could ever make you feel so safe and comfortable.

"I always want you safe. You mean so much to me and when I heard you driving my heart sunk right down to the floor." You felt awful, you never knew anyone could worry that much about you. "I love you." She then says. And you believe her. You never ever believed anyone who told you those words. "I love you. So much." You then say with a bright smile. "Talk to me in future ok? I was so worried tonight. I just want to keep you safe." You nod, you most definitely were going to. After all. She was your everything, and more.

[litomilo]

guitar billie…please save me

[litomilo]

you asked, you shall receive !

HEY QUEENS!! i am SO sorry for getting this out so late, your girl was going through it 😭😭 (two concerts, two tests, socratic seminar prep, and finding out i’m bi all in one week). anyway, thanks for waiting, here you go <333

pairing: dom!billie eilish x sub!fem!reader

summary: your girlfriend, billie’s, been doing promo work all day for her business trip. naturally, when she gets back, she wants a piece of you, and though you can offer that to her, you have to be quiet…

warnings: RPF!! don’t like, don’t read, established relationship, no direct smut but like a little if you squint (i’m not sure if i’m ready to sail that ship yet), hickeys, exhibitionism kink if you squint, implied-girly/femme!reader

word count: 716 (IT'S SHORT IKKKK I'M SORRY)

listen to: needy by ariana grande

IF YOU COULD use one word to describe your girlfriend, one of the last things in your mind would be clingy. handsy? yes. possessive? yes. dominant? oh, ya. but clingy? no, not really.

she only ever got like that when she was away from you for a while or really, really horny; today’s case was the latter.

you two were currently in paris for a bit of promo. you both were very happy you were able to be on this trip, since you were usually subjected to staying at home.

the past few days were relatively normal: getting settled in and a photoshoot. but today was more intense.

today, billie had multiple photoshoots and an interview. she had to wake up early for them, so by the time you were up, she was gone. instead of heading straight for the studio, you decided to treat yourself a bit.

that morning, you ate at a small café and went shopping at the local stores. you got lots of things: jewelry, makeup, accessories, and of course, clothes.

while in a certain store, you found this gorgeous dress. it was sleeveless and shiny in your favorite color, fit with a bow in the back.

you immediately bought it and changed into it before going to visit your girlfriend.

she was on her break when you walked in, hands riddled with bags galore. when she heard the door open, she looked up, a stern expression on her face, but it immediately softened when she saw you. “hi, sweet girl,” she immediately beamed.

you walked over to her, placing a light kiss to her cheek before she cupped your face and kissed you in the lips. “hi,” you replied softly. she smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before you sat on the velvety couch.

“where were you?” you quickly set your bags down, going on about the morning you had. but, she couldn’t help her eyes constantly drifting down to your dress. the way it fit on you, slightly raising up on your thighs was enamoring and she couldn't tear her gaze away.

later, billie was doing a photoshoot as you sat behind the camera and watched. she was stunning with her ocean-blue eyes and long black hair. you weren't aware of it, because, at some point, you had some emails to reply to, but when she wasn't being photographed, she was staring at you. so much so that at some point, the director had to tell her to focus.

that's how you ended up here: in your girlfriend's lap, a hand over your mouth.

“shh…gotta stay quiet, baby, right?” she nodded towards the bathroom.

for this specific trip, like most, you booked a connected room for you two and finneas. but, upon arrival, the staff had informed you there was some kind of plumbing issue in finneas' bathroom, and that the shower there was shut off.

of course, it was unrealistic to make him not shower the whole trip, so right now, he was borrowing yours. you were just wondering why he had to be borrowing it right now

you nodded as she whispered, “good."

at this point, she'd been on you for what, 10 minutes now? you weren't sure how she still had room to keep sucking and marking at your neck, almost similar to a mosquito drawing blood. red and purple hickeys cascaded all over your neck to the point it was almost painful, but you didn't ever tell her to stop. not once. she was too precious for you to tell her no.

every time you heard a noise coming from the bathroom, you turned your head, worried you'd get caught. but, never more than two seconds later, a hand on your jaw would turn you back. "it's fine, baby," billie would whisper. "we're gonna be careful, not get caught," she'd reassure you before attacking your neck again. all you could do was whine.

that was until you heard the door creak open. "fuck." immediately, billie threw a stray blanket over you as she went on her phone. you just stared up at the ceiling.

finneas walked back to his room without a second glance. and as soon as the door shut, your girlfriend took the blanket off you. "come here. we're good now."