little-mush

[little-mush]

june by alex dimitrov

[little-mush]

most of the time everything sucks but when the sky is blanketed in dark blue-grey clouds after heavy raining and the sun starts to peek through the clouds so that the tops of trees glint pale green and every white structure is starkly, blindingly silhouetted against the sky i’m ok.

[little-mush]

Luis Xertu (Mexican, 1985) - Tree with Cats (2024)

[little-mush]

Luis Xertu (Mexican, 1985) - Tree with Cats (2024)

[little-mush]

summer 2025

When people love you they want to ease your pain

Your desire to be a sleek and independent and unwanting machine is unattainable and rampantly destructive

You can eat the serviceberries growing by the river they’re best when theyre dark red but not too dark red

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the night is still young. i can do yoga and use my oil pastels. i can cut another fruit. i can write in my journal. i can make a poem. i can invite the figure outside my window in

[little-mush]

pearl

[little-mush]

No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.

[little-mush]

[little-mush]

went to an elementaryschool musical production and they started the show with the director saying: "Now there's some very small viewers here today, so just so you know. There will be a scary character later in the show. This is her," and a girl in a kinda scary ghost outfit did a creepy walk across the stage, the stood up straight and did a cheery wave, "but remember, it's just Nina. She's pretending to be scary."

Aaaand i would very much like for horror movies to have that as a little bonus feature you can chose. Let me start a movie with Guillermo del Toro showing me a scary ghost that might jump at me, but don't worry, thats just Doug!

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I AM NOT INTERESTED IN LIVING A LIFE WHERE I COWER AWAY FROM BEAUTY OR GOODNESS BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL TO BE HURT. I AM BARRELING TOWARD IT. LIFE IS GOING TO CRACK ME OPEN LIKE A PIÑATA AND I AM GOING TO LET IT.

[little-mush]

i just think that, most of the time, you really do need to teach people how to love you. and equally, you need to be taught how to love others. this can feel scary and hard and even like a failure, especially if you're approaching a relationship with trauma - shouldn't it be easy to love me? yeah ofc. but love is an act of translation between people across experience, geography, culture, memory. it's constant, purposeful translation. and though it can be hard, there is real joy to be found in the teaching and learning of love.

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“So to talk about trees is to talk about our attachment to them. Our longing for them to be okay. To talk about trees then is also to talk about each other, the ways we are attached to what is living and how much we want it to go on doing just that for as long as possible. It is never only trees, but what binds us together, the trees, the roots, the eternal part of us that is both the seed and the tree.”

— Ada Limón, from Shelter: A Love Letter to Trees

[little-mush]