little-raging-gnome

[little-raging-gnome]

when Duke needs backup in a fight he uses his powers to blast bat-signal-esque signs into the sky to call for whatever sibling is best suited for the job. each sibling hates their calling sign, and even worse, they actually have to respond to it because Duke only uses them when he’s like three minutes away from dying so they literally have no choice, like if their symbol shows up they have to fucking BOLT over there regardless of the indignance or Duke will not make it

Jason: the middle finger emoji

Damian: a somehow detailed image of the Boss Baby

Dick: just the word ‘slut’ in bubble letters

Tim: the red robin restaurant logo, complete with ‘gourmet burgers and brews!’ underneath

Steph: a taco, in reference to a time when she was drunk one night and Tim got on video her chasing down a moving taco truck insistently only to face plant into the side of it when the driver finally stopped to let her buy one

Cass: her regular symbol, because shes the only one he respects completely and it drives the others insane to have one sibling un-harassed

Bruce doesn’t have one because he refuses to call for Bruce. Alfred has one, a shotgun, although it’s never been used, and it pisses Bruce off to no end.

[little-raging-gnome]

The idea of Jason and Roy both being obliviously in love is great but I raise you just Jason is oblivious in the way of thinking him and Roy are really close friends, for all his romance novels can not save him from himself and Roy is oblivious in the way of him thinking Jason and him have been in a committed relationship for several years

Jason at his two bedroom apartment he shares with Roy (second bedroom is for Lian) and gets a video call from the batfamily group chat.

jason answering: Yeah what’s up I’m eating breakfast

Bruce in a panic: Why did Damian get an invitation to your wedding but I didn’t?! Also when the fuck did you propose to Roy?!

Damian in the back waving: I will be attending and also will be bringing batcow as my plus one.

Jason: you mean Roy and I’s friendship ceremony? You’re invited B i just haven’t mailed yours yet because you weren’t originally invited because you scolded me on patrol last week. Roy said it was important that you be there so I mailed it last night.

Dick popping in the call teary eyed: Littlewing I just got my invitation! I’m so happy that my little brother and my best friend are getting married!

Jason: We are not getting married, Roy just asked if I wanted to have a get together with all of our closest relatives and friends to celebrate us being friends for so long.

Tim who has been sitting there confused the entire time: wait you and Roy are just friends

Jason: Yeah? Why is this so baffling to you people

Cass : you live in the same apartment

Steph: you sleep in the same bed!

Jason:

Jason: It keeps the heating bill down in the winter

Bruce: Youre raising Lian with him?

Jason: Plenty of people have helped you raise us Bruce and you aren’t getting married to them.

Dick: I watched Lian last week so you and Roy could have ‘special alone time’

Jason: Well- Yeah we went out to a new bookstore outside of Gotham. Roy gets grumpy when we don’t get to solo hang out. He’s needy like that.

Duke: Dude..you have to be kidding

Tim frustrated: You and Roy went on a double date with Kon and I last night!

Jason: I thought we were all hanging out! Fuck you guys I’m asking Roy!

Roy popping his head from the kitchen: What are you asking me?

Jason: These idiots say that we have been dating but that’s ridiculous!

Roy: totally ridiculous

Roy: i proposed to you five months ago we are definitely engaged

Jason turning to Roy horrified: You weren’t doing that for the bit…

[little-raging-gnome]

while there are a lot of close relationships within the batfam, one of my absolute favorites is Dick and Jason. I feel like they’re one of those duos that LOOK wildly incompatible but the moment push comes to shove, they’re actually super competent and work together in all the best ways

the best part of it is how they utilize that, though. I think one of their absolute favorite things to do is, because they were the “OG” batkids, talk about things that happened before anyone else was there. are these things real? Who knows.

Cass: *looks mournfully at the bandages covering her feet* I won’t be able to attend my ballet recital after the injuries I got from patrol Jason: *sipping coffee* never stopped Dickie. I think he showed up to a gymnastics meet in a neck brace, once. It took a good ten minutes of begging before they let him compete. Bruce still doesn’t know about that. Cass: can I— Jason: no.

Damian: have you ever fought with father, Grayson? Dick: *chokes on his cereal* wh—w— *pounds his own chest and coughs* yeah?? Of course?? *looks desperately to Jason for help, not wanting to explain to Damian that he and Bruce had spent more time yelling at each other than being nice in his teen years* Jason: *sagely* yeah, there was that time ya brought home a Dalmatian th’ size of a freakin’ truck. Where did ya get that again? Abandoned on a case? Owner killed? Something like that. We had t’ give him t’ the shelter. Damian: you had a DALMATION and NEGLECTED TO INFORM ME???? Dick: *glared at Jason*

there’s no holes in their stories, to the other kids. One says something, the other immediately corroborates it. There’s no hesitation, no sign either is lying. Even Tim can’t figure it out, because Bruce was shit at keeping logs of stuff in that period of time and Dick and Jason are just that good at lying??

or maybe they’re just telling the truth???

no one can tell

Tim: *examining a corner of the batcave* what is this??? Someone—hahaha someone etched their initials into the wall!! Jason: *without missing a beat* that was the joker . . . We caught him, didn’t have a proper cell at the time so he got out there . . . He spent the weekend starving while we ate cereal in front of him . . . Good times Tim: Tim: *looks to Dicks and finds him nodding* dick: that cereal was really good. Too bad Joker escaped, we were only allowed to get that really sugary brand because of the circumstances . . . Tim: what the fuck Tim: hey B, you do know that Selina is totally in love with you, right? Bruce: *keeping stoically silent* Dick: oh, he knows. And he’s in love with her right back Jason: *gaining a shit-eating grin* yeah, he once bought her a whole Batmobile and rebranded it to be a “Catmobile” but she laughed so hard at it that it’s been sitting in storage for years ever since Tim: Bruce: dick: *nodding* true story

[little-raging-gnome]

The pacing is wrong idc don’t mention it I’m in school rn I was rushing 😭🙏

Brothers who are doomed by the narrative in every timeline

[little-raging-gnome]

Jason dropped his glasses a couple of times before, maybe he should just take off his helmet idk. And he's definitely reading Damian's homework.

[little-raging-gnome]

Batfamily reunion, kinda ?

Not my idea: https://x.com/tocartss/status/1897135638438404416?s=46&t=zkCvxQnVoZvDMu4v7483qg

[little-raging-gnome]

Jason Todd babysitting baby Damian.

Jason looked around as Damian sat next to him. The little baby stared at the man with a blank stare.

Jason (rubbing Damian's chubby cheeks with his hand): Tiny baby. Precious. Soft. You are a cute baby.

Baby Damian smiled then giggled.

Jason: I can't believe you share his DNA, or her DNA or her father's DNA.

Jason booped Damian's nose making the baby giggle and cover his face.

Jason: All right, got that out my system. Let's go play in the dirt.

Jason picked up Damian and took him outside.

Jason: Battled my brother, taking care of my dad's secret son, getting paid. It's gonna be a good year.

Damian (happy): Ah!

Jason: Thank you.

[little-raging-gnome]

Baby Damian (and Jason)

[little-raging-gnome]

I need more of Jason's and Lois's duo, so here is my humble little scenario — Jason accidentally starts writing articles under her wing after being back from dead.

It starts like this: Bruce kinda announces the rest of the League that the Second Robin is alive, and in fact, Red Hood is him. It is confusing as fuck, but honestly, at this point, everyone is used to Batman's antics, so they just nod along. Clark decides to casually drop the news to Lois, too.

Clark: Do you remember the Second Robin?

Lois, without getting distracted from her work: Oh, of course. Batman asked my autograph for him once. And he mailed me a few of his writing stories once. He was such a talented kid.

Clark: He is alive again!

Lois: Oh.

Lois, pausing and glaring thoughtfully at her computer: ...Do you think he is still into writing?

So, Lois reaches out to Jason, suggesting to try writing again because the Daily Planet needs more talented people, and she can't find anyone normal for months now. And Jason accepts. They end up choosing him a pen name, and it goes just... perfectly. Lois is glad that someone matches her enthusiasm and does the job perfectly, Jason is in awe about working with his second favourite woman alive (after Wonderwoman, of course) and doing the thing he likes.

Jason, irritated as fuck, calling Lois: Hey. I don't know if you have seen the latest president's meeting, but, please, tell me that I can—

Lois: Yeah, son. Drag his ASS. I will deal with the rest.

Jason: Don't tell anyone, but you are my favourite Super.

Lois: Don't tell anyone either, but you are my favourite Bat.

Lois: Now, on a completely unrelated note, do you think Red Hood can assassinate the president—

Naturally, Jason doesn't intend to tell anyone about his new job. No one suspects a thing anyway, and he is working from home, expect for times, when he visits Lois to hang out. Everything is fine.

Until Tim.

Tim, coming for dinner at Kents, by Kon's invitation: Hey, everyone— Jason?

Jason, who is giggling with Lois about their the most hated coworker: Uh. No?

Tim: JASON!

So, Tim knows now. He agrees not to tell anyone, but it doesn't mean that he is not going to tease Jason subtly around others. As usual.

Tim, casually, during the family breakfast: By the way, had you guys read articles in Daily Planet recently? Their new writer is fire.

Jason, tensing up: ...

Bruce: Really? Which one?

Tim, smiling politely: Oh, his name is Peter Austen. His writing style is SO good, and he is always SO on point, I ADORE him.

Jason, half-flustered, half-irritated: (gesturing Tim to shut up)

Bruce: I'll check his articles later today, then. Jaylad, had you read any of it?

Jason, grumpy as hell: You know me. I only read that crap for Lois.

Tim: That's a shame. Because I love this man SO MUCH.

(On the other side of table)

Dick, whistling: Damn, I think Lil Wing is jealous.

Damian, nodding: Todd definitely wishes he could be Drake's favourite writer.

[little-raging-gnome]

On Bruce's birthday, Jason gifts him a self-made intellectual game in a "resolve this case" style that contains a secret prize. And Bruce? Bruce loves it. He always likes resolving mysteries (you have no idea how many times he reread Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christi) and it is finally so refreshing to work on something... fun and not threatening others' lives! And there will be another prize as a reward? That's great! Brilliant, even.

The problem? Bruce absolutely overthinks the whole thing and instead of finding an obvious answer, he starts plotting insane theories and spiralling in the rabbit hole.

Jason, slightly anxious but hopeful: So, had you resolved it? Did you find what was the victim's last words? Bruce, running on 55 cups of coffee, with a mischievous glint in his eyes: Oh, Jaylad, don't even start. I am thinking between the theory regarding Russian spies and involvement of Epstein. Jason, double-checking his father's state, with smile switching on growl: What.

Bruce is so entertained and sucked into the drama of the fake case that he doesn't even realise that Jason is awfully close to throwing the whole tantrum. Because he didn't just put all his heart into this stupid surprise answer for Bruce to went in a complete opposite direction???

Dick, amused: He is so distracted that he refused going patrolling today and sent us. I can't. This is hilarious. Jason, kicking rocks in frustration: I might as well kill Joker while he is at it. He probably won't even notice. Damian: So, Todd, what is the secret surprise that you are so... hysterical? Jason: Nothing! It is nothing! I don't care! Tim, who looked at the case once and figured the answer out instantly: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.

Jason, a one week after, sitting on the tea ceremony with Alfred: Let me guess, old man is still hadn't figured out the mystery behind the case? Alfred: I am afraid he went... slightly aboard with the capacity of his imagination, master Jason. Now, if you allow me to ask... What was the surprise hidden in the victim's last words? Jason, sniffling: It was supposed to be "I love you, Dad. Can I return home?" Alfred: Alfred: You want to say that I could have my grandson back home a week ago, and we could already arrange and decorate you a new room, and have you over on every dinner, if your father wasn't this... complicated? Jason: Uh, I guess? Jason: Also, why did you just call him my father and not master Bruce... Alfred, standing up to take a riffle: Right now he is not my master. Just your father. Jason: Uh, Alfie????

[little-raging-gnome]

Tim: What’s that smell? Dick: My new cologne. Jason: Did you bathe in it? Dick: You’re just jealous I smell amazing. Damian: You smell like a floral arrangement at a funeral for clowns.

[little-raging-gnome]

[little-raging-gnome]

Alfred felt as though it was incredibly inappropriate for a butler to accompany his young master to any sort of gala or gathering so Bruce had to get used to being by himself very quickly at a young age

Due to being left all alone when he would usually be with his parents, Bruce was put in increasingly unsafe situations over and over. Most of the time, there was no safe adult for him to feel comfortable enough telling. And if there was, how would he know they were safe?

He could tell Alfred, but what good would that do? Alfred has told him time and time again that he is his employee, nothing more and nothing less. Alfred cannot help him. Alfred cannot save him

Alfred doesn’t want to

I believe that at a very early age, due to how most of the socialites and rich people are in Gotham, Bruce had to get used to unwanted stares, touches, and advances

And he’s so pretty. He’s been so pretty ever since he was small, even with his parents alive they had to work hard to keep him safe. To keep others away. To draw a hard line in the sand for what is acceptable and what is not. But now they’re gone and he’s trying to keep himself safe. But people always want to touch, take, possess, and destroy pretty things

But all of his children are pretty too.

With all of his kids he makes sure that they’re as safe as can be, unlike how it was with him

The first time that he brings Dick to a gala, he holds the boy the entire time. Dick’s face is mostly tucking into Bruce’s suit jacket, shielding him from the flashes of the paparazzi and unwanted stares. Especially with his ‘exotic’ heritage of being Romani… it’s a recipe for disaster in Gotham

Bruce refuses to let a single person touch Dick, even socialites that he trusts. He knows how quickly someone you trust can turn on you once they realize you’re vulnerable.

He keeps Jason by his side as well. Gotham high society hates anyone who didn’t grow up rich. Is he’s not by Jason’s side, he makes sure Dick is. Dick can now fend for himself, but Bruce always makes sure they’re in his line of sight.

Tim has been to these parties before, and considering how negligent his parents were… Bruce makes sure to tell Tim that he would never be mad at him for anything that happened and he is not to blame. That adults should have protected him and saved him. He tells Tim all the things he wished someone had told him when he was younger. They hug and cry about it.

He’s always so thankful that Stephanie never wanted to go to galas as mean as it makes him sound. She never had to be subjected to the cruelties of adults who had no business leering after young girls. Now that she’s older and sometimes pops in if Tim’s going, Bruce knows that they’ll protect each other.

Cass is strong and smart, but she’s also very very new to this life and more vulnerable than the rest of his kids. Bruce wishes he could give her a sense of normalcy. It’s just another thing that’s he failed at.

He knows that if push came to shove, like the rest of his children, she would not hesitate to defend herself. But there should be no shove. She shouldn’t have to. Bruce dances with her all through the night every time she decides to grace a gala with her magnificent presence. It keeps her happy, it keeps her away from harm

His youngest baby is a fire cracker, ready to take on anyone and anything that could possibly be perceived as a threat to him and his family. As much as his other babies joke that he keeps Damian nearby to stop him from stabbing people, he doesn’t want anyone to look at Damian.

Damian is barely older than he was when he returned back to Gotham high society. The only difference is that Damian now has him and all of his siblings. It’s still hard to let go, even if he knows his children are there to keep an eye on everything

Duke is very similar to Jason in more ways than one, epically since he was also born on the ‘poorer’ side of Gotham that most elites loathe unjustly. He’s seen it before, even with high standing black families. Being suddenly accused of stealing a watch or pickpocketing an expensive pearl necklace. Lives ruined simply because of the color of their skin

Nothing like that will ever happen to Duke in his presence. Bruce knows he can’t protect Duke from all the racism in the world, but man if he doesn’t want to try

Bruce has never let his family deal with his issues. He believes he’s simply not worth the trouble. So whenever he gets hit on at galas in ways that make him uncomfortable he just fakes a smile. When he feels unfamiliar hands touching him and grabbing at his body, he fakes more smiles and leans into if there are too many people watching.

Just as he’s about to make an excuse, any kind of excuse to finally get away and take a breather, Dick suddenly pops up in front of him while he feels Jason and Duke slide up behind him, pushing away the elites that had circled him

Bruce makes a soft confused sound, trying to figure out what was happening, but then Damian’s tugging on his sleeve and he already has his baby in his arms. The whirlwind that is Tim and Steph together sweep him away from the confused group of elites.

The group makes their way back over to where Cassandra is smiling expectantly, giggling softly at the confused expression on Bruce’s face.

“Dance with me?” She requested softly, knowing that Bruce would never refuse her. Bruce squeezes Damian to his chest before handing him over to Tim, which Damian surprisingly doesn’t protest

Bruce takes Cassandra’s hand and they dance around the ballroom floor with ease, over and over one of Bruce’s children came and swept him away before anyone else could get the chance

“Don’t worry, we got you Dad.” Dick smiled softly as Bruce spun him around before being passed over to Stephanie and Damian.

“I know.” Bruce chuckled, feeling so safe for the first time in a long time. “I know.”

[little-raging-gnome]

y’all know that fresh prince of bel air episode where everyone but Will gets on the Oprah show so Will just keeps asking passive aggressive questions about nephew abandonment from the crowd? that’s how i want Jason to let the family know he’s alive.

like, he’s wanted to get onto that show for YEARS. he’s TOLD Bruce about how much he loves the Oprah show. and Bruce is like ‘oh i know her, maybe one day we can go :)’ but then he fucking DIES and gets sidelined with all the LOA Joker Red Hood crime lord fuckery he has going on and the family no longer even knows he’s alive. so fast forward he finds out that the entire Wayne family is going to be appearing on the Oprah winfrey show to commemorate the death of their darling lost son and brother. WITHOUT HIM. and Jason Todd, legally dead Jason Todd, is keeping his identity a secret for a REASON Jason Todd, is fucking PISSED.

Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian smiling at the audience:

Oprah: and our next question, sir what’s your name?

Jason, glaring daggers from the audience: Todd Peters.

The family: *smiles slowly drop into a look of horror as a clearly recognisable Jason Todd leans into the microphone*

Jason, arms folded: yeah, i got a question for Bruce. hypothetically, if you had a real kind, happy son whom you claimed to love with your whole heart, and you KNEW he wanted to be on the Oprah show, would you let him go? or would you wait until he was declared legally dead so you could go without him?

Bruce:

Everyone:

Damian: father that reminds me i have something to tell you-

[little-raging-gnome]

sketch page for Danlion of some slightly maladjusted boys just out here doing their best… <3

[little-raging-gnome]

longing stare

[little-raging-gnome]

i can’t remember his face. why can’t i remember his face?