little-superstar-penny - Tumblr blog

[little-superstar-penny]

Penny picked up her ukelele, and her fingers once again went to lightly strumming. The music pulled her away from the most confusing, sharp parts of her feelings. It gave her something real and tangible to focus on instead. And the melody they picked was so bright, wasn't it impossible to feel sad-- to cry?-- while listening to it.

Her tears receded and she smiled fondly at the memories that Tanya conjured for her. In the past year, they had been some of her happiest memories, especially when she'd been filming.

"Yeah, I like that. Something kinda specific but-- I'm sure other people could relate to it too, like, staying up late texting someone you like," mentioned Penny.

But she would know what it really meant. That was important to her.

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

Penny knew what Tanya meant, but she didn't feel wise enough, or just plain old enough, to truly believe her. She was petrified of when this long, long goodbye finally came to an end and she'd be all alone, with her memories. Sure, Tanya would exist in them. But those memories, which used to comfort Penny, would probably turn on her, and make all the grief hurt worse.

But she didn't want Tanya to feel bad about any of this. So that meant Penny had to act wise. Act like she was...older than she was-- the kind of person who could handle this maturely.

She nodded. "Right, yeah. I'll play our song when I miss you. And then you'll be right here!" She said it cheerfully, but her voice still cracked, the tears shining fiercely in her eyes.

"We should um-- probably finish it up, right? One more verse and a bridge to go!"

For this afternoon at least, there was no goodbye. There was only music.

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

It made sense. It also made Penny so, so sad. Like she was already having to erase Tanya from her life. Honestly, she didn't have a lot of solid evidence that pointed to Tanya even being in her life at all. They didn't have many pictures together. The time they spent apart was so much bigger than the time they were together.

But she wanted to respect Tanya's wishes. And it wouldn't make sense... it would invite a lot of trouble, not even because Tanya was a ghost and people might dig into that. As soon as someone like Penny said anything too personal, fans and antis alike would swarm all over the song and try to dissect it for meaning. That's why Penny wasn't even sure when she'd release it anyway.

But eventually, she would. When the idea of people digging into these personal feelings didn't hurt so much.

"Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I'll know and-- so will everyone who contributes to the zine. That's what matters right?" Penny said as she reached out to gently tuck some of Tanya's dark hair behind her ear. She smiled, but it was a smile weighed down with sadness now. "I'm really gonna miss you so, so much."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

Penny had had the entire world call her brilliant and talented and special since she was six years old.

But she had never believed it more, hearing Tanya say it because Tanya hadn't even watched a single Bolt film, had she? She didn't know Penny Forrester, the superstar. It was rare that Penny met someone who hadn't at least heard her name.

Tanya liked her, for her. From the very beginning.

It was just so fucking unfair that Penny couldn't have Tanya for longer.

But she kept smiling, still fiddling a little with Tanya's flannel. "Yeah," Penny echoed. Then she swallowed and said, "I...I dunno what I'm gonna do with um, with the song-- I think for a while I wanna just keep it to myself. But... I guess-- later on, if it feels right, could I release it? So then it could be like you said, I guess. Everyone could sing it."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

Tanya kissed her.

Penny's eyes widened at first, and she froze in place, like if she moved-- if she moved, Tanya might disappear now instead of later, like this was just one of Penny's dreams where she kissed Tanya a hundred times before this moment only to wake up alone. She didn't want to wake up, if this was a dream. She wanted to cling tighter to Tanya, though she was supposed to be letting go.

But for right now-- it wasn't a dream.

Penny didn't have to let go of Tanya yet.

So she closed her eyes instead and leaned into the kiss, reaching out to grasp at Tanya's flannel shirt and grip it tight, to keep Tanya from slipping through her fingers. She wasn't sure what it was going to be like, to kiss a ghost, but--

It turned out to be just like kissing a girl.

Tanya was cold, but she was still solid, her lips soft underneath Penny's own. But as the kiss lingered, Penny cried. And as she cried-- tears of love but also frustration-- Tanya felt even more solid underneath her, until she was warm, too.

Finally, Penny pulled away, sniffling, before she managed to smile at Tanya. "I...I was really hoping you'd do that."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

"Bolt-- Bolt, chill!"

Penny had been on her way to the lake to get ice cream because, what else are you supposed to do with your first love passes on? She didn't know. So. Ice cream. She figured she'd sit by the lake and let Bolt get all of his energy out, considering she didn't have the pep in her step to roll around with him.

But looked like Bolt had other plans-- too much energy to wait for the lake as he veered off and headed straight for the stranger.

"Oh, oh, oh, new smell, you smell that, Penny?!" Bolt said as he tried to launch himself at the man. "Like Fawn!"

"Bolt! Down, dude, dang-- i'm so sorry!" Penny said to the man as she tried to pull Bolt back.

@lordmilori-ofnowhere

Wait Just A Flitting Minute || OPEN

[little-superstar-penny]

"That's-- you're not temporary to me," blurted Penny.

And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Penny decided, fuck it. They'd already told each other their feelings. They'd been in this awkward in between stage after though-- unable to move forward so they acted like friends, instead of friends who confessed they liked each other.

But Penny did like-like Tanya, more than friendship, more than... more than she'd ever liked anyone before. It was a really bizarre feeling-- like having another kind of magic thrumming in her veins. Because she knew it like a psychic vision: if she and Tanya had more time, Penny would have fallen in love with her.

She grasped Tanya's hand. "I know what you mean, but like, it's also not true. You changed me, Tanya. For the better. That's what this whole song is about. I'm a different person and so as long as I'm alive, you'll be-- you'll be like forever to me. I know that's cheesy, but it's true." Her voice shook and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "It won't be just the song."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

Oh, the fairies!

Penny hadn't considered asking the fairies but...d'oh. That was some human-privilege wasn't it? Though, she hadn't ever lived in a place with a fairy hollow so close. Fairies were the third most "common" magick in terms of magicks in Hollywood (Sorcerers were first, gifteds like Penny was second) but there was no hollow close to Los Angeles. She was pretty sure the closest one was in Northern California, among the redwoods.

But she should try to get an audience with the fairies to discuss this stuff and get their perspective for her paper. She'd need to reach out to Fawn! She'd be perfect.

"Right! Do you know if the fairies have been involved in any, like, advocating or lobbying for different kind of laws?" Penny asked. "I think I might try to interview an animal-fairy too, but-- I guess I'm just curious what the fairy-human relations look like around here."

@crickey-itsjake

Law Of The Jungle || Star Ranger

[little-superstar-penny]

YUNJIN | ELLE KOREA | MAY 2024 ♡

[little-superstar-penny]

Penny didn't think she'd ever written something so easily before.

Sure, sometimes a verse might pop out. But a verse, a chorus, and a pre-chorus all in one hour? She usually had to procrastinate at least an hour before each one, often running around with Bolt, or doing some kinda chore to switch her brain to a different mode...

But something about this topic was so easy. Like Penny had just been waiting to write this song about this experience-- about Tanya.

Penny gazed at Tanya, and before she knew it, the tears had brimmed in her eyes again. They surprised her, and Penny had to wipe them away with a self-conscious laugh.

"Oh my god-- sorry! Sorry, I dunno where that came from, I--"

I don't want to lose you.

I don't want this to be the first and last song we write together.

I wish...

Penny shook her head and kept smiling, beating back the tears. "I just...really love it too."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

YUNJIN x MAC | ELLE KOREA | MAY 2024 ♡

[little-superstar-penny]

Penny started giggling too, her smile sneaking back across her face. She liked that Tanya knew that thing about shrimp. Not a lot of people knew stuff like that. She wondered what other animal facts were hiding inside of Tanya. Maybe a dozen or maybe a hundred. There were so many things that Penny had never gotten to know about Tanya-- and here was just one of them.

"Yeah, I get it, I do," confirmed Penny, still idling strumming. In a way, this was a song: conversation put to music. The uke made each sentence they shared feel a bit brighter, and more true.

Wasn't it funny how music could do that?

"It's easy to live your life / in shades of grey, and black and white--" Penny began singing, the words coming easier now that Tanya had prompted her.

"But I don't see life like that when I'm with you."

She looked up at Tanya, meeting her gaze again. Not shying away this time.

"'When we met, it was a work of art / the colors in my heart / burst into a thousand different hues."

It was like Tanya had cracked her open. Again. Because wasn't that why she had fallen for Tanya? Something about her made Penny bolder.

"And now I'm never gonna go back / to the life I knew People won't understand it / but fuck 'em, I've got the better view."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

This was getting pretty far from the original prompt.

Then again, Penny couldn't remember what the prompt was. Something about home, and belonging-- finding your own colors... finding your own people. So maybe they weren't as far as Penny thought. Maybe they were peeling back layers to the real thing they wanted to talk about.

For Penny, that was-- finding Tanya.

Ugh. That was too cheesy and embarrassing wasn't it? Especially since soon she'd lose her too.

That thought felt like touching a hot stove. Penny shied away from it. Think about meeting people, like Tanya said-- not losing them.

"Right, um, yeah er--" Penny started strumming her ukelele again, but no words were popping into her head. "Dang, beginnings are hard."

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

"Oh-- um, yeah. Let me just write that down really fast--"

Penny fumbled for her notebook as she scribbled the lyrics down. As she wrote it, she blushed, happy for how her hair fell around her face to give her some privacy between her feelings-- big, silly, obvious feelings-- and Tanya.

Penny didn't want it to be that way.

She wanted--

There had been a thousand moments where she wanted to kiss Tanya. This was another one of them.

But, they couldn't, right? It'd be worse if they kissed and then had to say goodbye. It didn't matter even if the feelings were mutual.

"Er-- okay uh-- what next?" Penny said when she finally looked up. She tucked her hair behind an ear.

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

YUNJIN 240420 EASY (Coachella week 2)

[little-superstar-penny]

In your eyes.

Immediately, Penny's fingers tripped over the chord and the uke made an off sound-- kind of like a hiccup. She stopped playing all at once, blushing as she glanced down at her lap instead of... well...

In Tanya's eyes.

There was part of Penny who just wanted to look at Tanya all day and do nothing else, as cringe as that was. But their days were counting down and soon Tanya would only be in...pictures and video and...Penny's own memory. Was it so bad to want to soak her in? To want her even though it would break Penny's heart?

"Oh uh-- well, I kinda liked that..." said Penny, still blushing. "Maybe it could be like..."

She strummed the ukelele again and sang, "Go outside the lines / then we'll realize / inspiration lies / in each other's eyes."

Penny's gaze snuck up again, meeting Tanya's own.

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny

[little-superstar-penny]

"Er, how about--"

First Penny strummed her ukelele again, just fiddling around with the basic four chords. To be honest, she didn't know a lot about playing the guitar and uke outside of that, but the four chords could be manipulated in a lot of ways, so it helped loosen up her own brain.

"Go outside the lines / make you realize / what's on the other side / is..."

She stopped singing, scrunching up her face.

"...electrified?" Penny snorted, covering her mouth. "That's a mixed metaphor or whatever, my bad. Uh, I dunno, you try!" She started strumming, and gestured to Tanya.

@twentytanya

Music and Lyrics || Tenny