littledragonsinmyhead-blog

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

Crazy GW2 ff-ideaton for self (I’ll forget it all anyway): - Action/adventure - OC investigates Pact fleet destruction/Trahearne’s death years after. - Revenant abilities and HoT PTSR. - The world is bad, worse then in-game. - Being Commander is shit.  - Commader is “the hero Gotham deserves”. - Being everyone else is shit.  - Dysfunctional trammander. - Being “a part of a junge dragon” is shit. 

An ongoing detective/action/adventore story that takes place 10y+ from now.  - OC, for instance a young promising Shining blade exemplar (Who are they? What would they do? First thought - a headstrong tomboy, similar to Korra’s Kuvira). - SBs are preparing for something dramatic (The “enter-the-plane-of-torment-dramatic, but what exactly?).  - OC has their own team. - As they look for the support, they try to reach the remaining members of Dragon’s Watch, who refuse to take part in a suicidal mission for “I wanna get a life” reason. They never refuse to help with advice or intel, but will not accompany the OC. - Anise believes Kerida/Lidia will be a good place to start. That’s how the idea of recruiting the legendary Commander/Dragonslayer comes to life. - Commander is my own Shiro/Dragon/Renegade sylvari revenant because I can.  - Kerida thinks low of the Commander “thinking capabilities”. Recruiting him is spoken of as -a very bad idea- as he is universally considered an unpredictable living doomsday weapon nobody can effectively control. But the situation calls for drastic measures and only few people in Tyria are intense enough. The OC is worried, but also excited.  - Commander is found in Cantha, which has opened its borders by then, and he eerily reminds Shiro Tagachi in both appearance and abilities. Maybe not.  - OC views PC’s revenant skills - tearing thought the Mists - as wounds in the world and is initially frozen with terror. They overcome this feeling with time, but they also realize why nobody wants to deploy the Commander unless they absolutely have to.  - Legends have VUI (like Suicide Squad’s ”Enchantress”. Probable code phrases: Shiro - “Murderer”, Glint - “Here be dragon”, Kalla - “Renegade”, Mallyx - “Unyielding”. No Ventari or Jalis, PC is negative/offensive combatant). OC notices how the commander mutters something in combat, but never hears the exact words. - With time, OC begins to notice small shifts in the PC’s behavior due to legend invocation and can’t help wondering what exactly is left of the dragonslayer’s own persona and why he allowed himself to become what he is - literally an unthinking doomsday weapon.  - Back to DR, the SBs proceed with their preparation. Everyone is obliged to reiterate SB’s vows in the presence of a mesmer - to face their fears/desires, reveal their hidden interests and strengthen their minds. OC believes it is a good idea and everything goes well until - PC kills the inquisiting mesmer in front of witnesses and refuses to explain why. - Lady Meade oversees the process as an extra measure of safety. It seems she may have a clue - but she will never reveal it. - Commander is to be released because of the mission, being the Commander and being universally accepted “bad enough”. OC tries to confront him, but PC’s comments are cryptic - ”I didn’t kill the mesmer” and “we all understood the risks, no exceptions”.  - OC investigates. Something (WHAT WHAT WHAT???) tips them off to find out what “really” happened in Maguuma jungle about 12 years ago. - The official version of the Pact’s First Marshal death is “slightly” different from the truth. The fact that the PC killed him was concealed from the public to save what little remained from the Pact’s positive image. This was PC’s idea, supported by the rest of the high command and the few witnesses. Ridhais, who actually recovered the body, was gently persuaded to keep quiet with a lifelong pension and the Pact’s full support and protection. PC also found the way to make the Pale Tree hide the whole picture. - During the later confrontation with the PC, OC learns he had his own reasons for the many detours during Maguuma campaign and Rata Novus recovery. With the rest of the high command MIA/absent, PC’s priorities were with successful reestablishment of the Pact. In the end it costed him his sanity, earned him the impression of a mindless living weapon but worked well enough. OC is deeply disturbed and disgusted with the knowledge that the Pact was not transparent.  - In Maguuma, OC recovers some letters Trahearne and Commander exchanged during the Zhaitan campaign, as well as Trahearne’s later diary/album of letters that were never sent. OC reads it though and thinks it’s a fake, because it looks like a very unrealistic romance novel. OC tries to investigate who would benefit from compromising the high command, with no success. At some point, OC thinks the discovery has to be published or at least safekept with Priory, truth or not, but decides it can wait. - OC is enrolled in a SB’s mission for “previous effort’. The mission includes: mists, ghosts, sacred vows, runes, rituals, tons of magic. - Blah blah blah - OC and PC meet Trahearne. Each has a very painful discussion with him. - OC learns the second opinion about the Maguuma campain and thinks it looks ugly enough to be glad First Marshal died when he did. If not for the Big Statue and the Big Sacrifice talk, he would be charged with high treason for the fleet destruction, the Commander would be charged with high treason for the desertion (Eir was right!), Pact’s reputation would be ruined, Almorra would never be able to regain control during the White Mantle/Lazarus crisis, DW would be dead or scattered (probably for the best), Aurene would be a weak and sickly hatchling and probably wouldn’t survive. The world would be very different.  - Add some personal background here: OC thinks about small events changing the big picture and realises their own life would be total shit in this different world. Maybe a slave to the White Mantle/bloodstone ghoul? idk, ideas? - OC overhears some of PC and Trahearne’s talk, which is very personal. T describes what it was like to be a part of a jungle dragon. Neither expected the experience would cause PC’s revenant abilities to manifest. OC realises the “wound in the world” description is accurate.   - “Commander, the Pact” was T’s message to himself to preserve self-awareness: something that existed and was important regardless the connection to Dream and Mordremoth. T is partially responsible for Modrem attacks on the Pact camps. T believes he was powerful enough to contain the jungle dragon, but the perspective of living like this was terrifying, so he is grateful for going down as his own man (more or less). T is super-sorry this caused the Commander turning himself into a living weapon. Both say they would wish a different, happier fate for another.  - PC admits Caladbold has its own happy memory about T and he wouldn’t want to end with his mind’s eye image. OC realises a) PC doesn’t believe this conversation is happening, b) why PC could kill the mesmer. They don’t want to check the last part. - Blah blah blah - Back to DR/Cantha, OC hands the recovered letters and notes to PC.  Shorter version: start with PC killing the mesmer. Skip the first part.  I don’t have PoF yet so I don’t know how far madness goes there.  Now the big question: what would the OC be doing outside reading someone else’s correspondence?!! What is the original mission?  What team would they assemble?!! Mind, focus on the important stuff next time plz

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

The big question is: are sylvari self-aware or dream-aware?  And if they are self-aware (to some extent; I personally believe that their self-awareness increases each generation, not enough data to tell if the growth is linear or exponential), are they able to effectively distinguish between the Dream and their own (sub)consciousness? Because if they are not (fully) self-aware and unable to know the difference between themselves and the Dream/the Pale Tree/the hive, it’s a) sad, b) a simple way to explain weird decision-making among the Firstborn.  Personally, I think Caithe is the most self-aware of all Firstborn. 

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

au trammander idea: 

Mordremoth is aware of carrot/stick concept and can play more complex mind games. Trahearne becomes “part of the jungle dragon”, but is carefully stripped of his ability to resist. sylvari Commander kicks some ass and generally poses as a good candidate for a new mordrem champion. At the end, there is a choice: kill the dragon&kill the prince or join both&turn on former allies.  Commander turns, quality time with dragon-integrated Trahearne being the reward for a number of familiar heads.

This would probably become Cas’s favourite nightmare. 

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

Yes, the sword is capable of channeling the Pale Mother's power. Further, it amplifies the mental state of its bearer. - Ridhais. One Commander, mad with grief and guilt, broken beyond repair. Check. One day I’ll use this to put Cas out of his misery, thanks Anet.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I was a roleplayer once, but then i got societal expectations to the knee. Like i don't have rl for this kind of shit.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I wonder to what degree sylvari experience societal pressure for expressing non-positive emotions or not being emotional “enough”.  Negative thoughts? - foo, you are embracing the nightmare! Sad? Troubled? Insecure? - better distance yourself from the rest of the society, or, even better, just stop. For instance, we have Ceara who was obviously criticized for being antisocial, we have that girl in the Green Knight story who left the city to be able to mourn (i deliberately drop the baddie of the story here, if Bercilak didn’t harass the girl, would she stay?), we have Canach who was doubtful so he left. I’m sure there are more. Would a sylvari be inclined to feel shame for being in stress or angst or grief?And what would be their coping mechanisms, other than accepting the ��not good enough” stance in all its spectrum?

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

Sparkfly Fen

Sparkfy Fen fen was my fav zone pre-HoT. The mangrove forest, so peaceful and beautiful, filled with rotting corpses. Imagine heat and high humidity, huge water bodies, upscale, and you’ll get pandemia to add to the picture. Little Pact/Lionguard presence, little ammo or supplies or medication. You are alone. Only them frogs dying from thirst will keep you company.

It was a great introduction to Orr, which actually seemed like a nice place after with their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns. 

In your head, in your head, zoombie, zoooombie, zoooooombie-eh-eh...

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

All my attempts to take screens of Cas usually look like this: 

But it works well enough.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I wonder how much the rest of Tyria exactly knows about Trahearne’s death. They do know it was a “self-sacrifice”, but do they know it was the commander who did the blow? Could the few witnesses agree to leave certain details between themselves so the morale wouldn’t drop too low? Could the sylvari understand what actually happened through the Dream?

I tend to believe everyone knows only the general picture, and the images in the narrative are commander’s memories rather than public reciting. Commander would avoid the subject, too, of course. I would qualify the pact investigation and commander’s court-martial as a “fun plot twist”. But it’d be so bioware, so please no.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

decorating the guild hall

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

So, the evil enchanted tree found a pet that’s literally a copy of himself.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

So, the commander has turned into an anxious control freak in LS3. Doubt he should be blamed for that.  I imagine Trahearne, had he been saved, would have to face the challenge of an overly protective, controlling and even abusive partner/best friend, who’d acted out of fear and guilt.  But he’d solve it. After cleansing Orr, cleansing the wound in the commander’s soul couldn’t be too hard. 

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

where can i join?!

I’m not even being sarcastic, this is clearly the guild for me.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

Aurene and her baby duck syndrome. I wonder if she ever grows up before our character travels into the Mists.  I wonder if she ever understands why the duck mother is suddenly gone. 

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I’m struggling to make my mesmer salad look the way I’d enjoy playing him. Everything is either too pretty for my taste, or i’ve used it already, or i saw it on some prominent npc.  So not happy with the look, but at least he glows dramatically and knows how to death glare.

I hope Anet releases more face and hair options before I quit playing.

Additional cultural sets would be nice, too. 

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I think commander will come in terms with Caithe much faster than they could’ve expected.  Egg or no egg, her main undoing was withholding the information and neglecting the pact’s and her kin’s safety. But in this regard, commander has screwed up just as badly.

[littledragonsinmyhead-blog]

I ultimately tie Trahearne’s experience with Mordremoth to H.Ellison’s “I have no mouth, and I must scream”. 

I had thought AM hated me before. I was wrong. It was not even a shadow of the hate he now slavered from every printed circuit. He made certain I would suffer eternally and could not do myself in. 

He left my mind intact. I can dream, I can wonder, I can lament. I remember all four of them. I wish  ... AM has altered me for his own peace of mind, I suppose.   ... Inwardly: alone. Here. Living under the land, under the sea, in the belly of AM, whom we created because our time was badly spent and we must have known unconsciously that he could do it better 

It would be awesome if this was an actual reference. Poor guy.