litwick-man0r

[litwick-man0r]

[through tears] yeah i remain whimsical

[litwick-man0r]

going on pinterest and commenting “hmm… i find this really.. pinteresting…!” on every single post i see

[litwick-man0r]

are u in the discord

Woah mama what's discord

[litwick-man0r]

[litwick-man0r]

Bucky, trying to be a politician and realizing how inefficient it is at stopping bad guys quickly: Welp. I can't debate, diplomat, or deposition my way out of this one.

Bucky, loading his explosive disc launcher: Detonate it is.

[litwick-man0r]

i love him pls go to therapy king

[litwick-man0r]

The biggest reason 9/11 did not happen in brazil is because big jesus would have catched the plane and destroy the terorist. Second big reason is tjat world trade center wads not i nbrasil

[litwick-man0r]

reassuring texts to receive from a friend in EMT training

[litwick-man0r]

they didnt give me a penis because i would be so good at having boners i would literally win every boner compatition and thats why they were tooooo scared

[litwick-man0r]

whoever invented beds was a fucking genius im just all cozied up in here like u don't even know how cozy i am

[litwick-man0r]

they should invent a medicine that makes the aching jagged wound in your soul close

[litwick-man0r]

The mere concept of a resident evil male nude mod is so funny to me. Boy put that boaner away lest a sloppy little critter grabs hold of it

[litwick-man0r]

sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared

[litwick-man0r]

The original Doom was full of demons and crosses etc because it's was edgy, but metal album art aesthetics aren't edgy anymore. Nobody is gonna accuse Doom: The Dark Ages of being satanic in a bad way or blame it for school shootings. They need to step their game up. Doomguy has to transition. And then she has to get really good at tennis.

[litwick-man0r]

AHHHHHH OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST OAHH HHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK ok nevermind. i got over it

[litwick-man0r]

Where did you get footage of me in my natural state🙁

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

[litwick-man0r]

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith