liveitkeepup-blog

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Back In Tumblr!

Its been ages the last time I posted some thing here!

And I’m back! A lot of things has changed and I can’t wait to share them all to you!

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Full of BS

Every day we do things that we know that can impress other people. Like, letting people know about your latest rendezvous or your new gadget or anything fancy. We like to impress people so much and we are so afraid of what they will think about us. The phrase “Be yourself” became such a big word and not easy. It always says on inspirational books or by professors or your mentor that we don’t have to know what everyone says about you. Because what’s more important is that you are true to yourself. But I beg to disagree, because if this is true how come big brands and companies keep on innovating things and making it more expensive than the older one? Make it sounder like it was way cooler than the old one.

When someone will say bad things about you, like “I don’t like how you handle this and that, but I’m saying this for you to become better” is it more ethical and acceptable that way? That you get to hurt someone’s feeling first then pull it back? And I’m thinking, if its for me then why does it still hurt? Your heart feels that sting and your brain screams “NO, that’s not true” and you want to tell them million reasons why not. But you would rather shut up because either you’re already heard by what he said or you know that its just a waste of time to argue because he won’t listen anyway, or even if you voice it out, you have to prove them why they are wrong and sometimes it’s not worth it anymore. 

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POV

I never did understand what I have and why I have it. All I ever wanted is to be normal just like everyone is. It seems and sounds so easy, being normal. But it isn't. It is far dream, the only dream I know that will not happen. Nobody can and will understand, I am far too deep on where I am right now. People will tell you they dont even after you told them but they dont. They will never ever understand. All they can do is to sympathize and tell you that they do understand, that they feel you. How can it be if they haven't experience it? I believe that I will continue deliver constant disappointment and will hurt those people that I care about (unintentionally) and there is nothing much i can do to change that. Maybe being with me will always be complicated and there could never be anyone who can understand. 

I am tired and would really like someone to just listen and not judge on whatever that is happening in my mind, but I know that alone is impossible. Judging people. Lying to their face. This my friend is human nature. 

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Nuff said.

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Silent night.

Maybe I was just used to the idea that I still miss you. Clearly, you have forgotten me. For the longest time I only have you. That special place that no one can never take away. I said to myself that it was long ago, that I have move on from all the fantasies you had taught me. And yet every now and then I still think of you. Sometimes I wish you can read this, afterall you're still my soulmate, my angel, the one who knows me the most and yes, the one who got away. Don't get me wrong. I am happy that you are happy now, I always wish that for you. Maybe its because of the cold air, maybe because it was another year and its a start again of another year without you. Or maybe I'm just sad. I wish I can still talk to you. Can ex lovers cant be friends?

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Awkward.

Imagine yourself being on a scenario where one day you're all sweet and all to a guy even ask you out and then boom! You can't even look to each other's eye and worst you feel awkward already with the guy. Not helping that you're seeing him Monday-Thursday. Arggghhh!!!!

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And again.

I'm back!!! Exams are really hard. Good thing got the chance to take some leave from office and be ready with all those test. And it's done!!! Excited for xmas break!!!!

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Thoughts.....

A guy who asked you out but there's another girl that he has take out twice or thrice already. Said that he'll make things clear with other girl and make sure that there's no other else on the picture but me.

Yeah, fine. 

Next thing I know, he's posting a lot of things on Facebook more I think about the other girl. And I don't think he's really into me.

I mean, c'mon. Its either you're in it or out with it. 

Need a man in my life not a boy I need to teach how to make a girl happy. 

Whatever.

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what I know is that if you really like me.. you'll do everything to make me like you...

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Keep up

Maybe when I choose the name of my blog I know it needs to be something that will somehow describe me as a person, or crazy things thats happening to me. Might be melodramatic but I really feel I am on a roller coaster ride that runs again. And again. And again. Im a bit tired now. Im on that point again that I got too bored of what I’m doing. I long for too long to have a normal life if normal is even something to even describe me. I just want a normal sched. Its finals now at school and end of the quarter at the office. I feel I badly need a long break. School and work at the same time is never easy. Believe me. Just need a breather. Sigh.

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First.

Still hurts. Cant bring myself to read or delete our message conversation. I miss him badly..

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hot!!!! damn!

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Me and my sister at our CDO trip :)

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The Feast

Not sure if you guys heard of The Kerygma Feast. It was introduced to me by my sister. Pretty much its a normal worship service however this one is a  bit relax, no routine that you need to know or hard core bible verse where the preacher will explain every detail of the verse.

This one is really light. And my favorite preacher? Bo Sanchez. Simple guy I'll tell you but he's a good preacher he has this kind of aura that attracts your attention, it will tell you, "listen to me!"

I haven't attend The Feast for a while now because of my chaos schedule and maybe because CCP is far from where I live. I kinda miss it.

To know more about the Feast you may visit http://kerygmafamily.com/

Happy Sunday everyone, don't forget to say thanks to the Big Guy up there :)

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Dreaming.

I don't like it when he visits me in my dream. It makes me remember that someone out there can make me so vulnerable without doing anything. That I am less of myself because of him. I like to believe that we don't know each other anymore. He was not that person I would trust my whole life and knows me better than I do. He was someone who can break my heart again. And again. And again. 

He's that one person that can make me feel I am less of a person because he didn't pick me. 

He is one of my nightmares. And I wish he wouldn't visit me like the way he does to my sleep. 

What's with him? I just want to forget him.