livelikebrent

[livelikebrent]

Stop 9: Europe

“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” - Caroline Myss, American Author

Barcelona has always been on my personal bucket list. Brent was WELL aware of this. While we did travel here and there, they were always domestic trips. Brent had never left the US and I had only been on a cruise in the Caribbean at the age of sixteen or so and went to Canada for a long weekend my senior year of college. I didn’t know when I’d get to Spain but I did know I would get there some day. Brent told me that when we would go, he’d have the opportunity to check out Suvoda’s office located in Barcelona and work from there while I went about the city.

Whether Brent was at Sloan Kettering, in the ICU in Philadelphia, or perfectly healthy at his apartment one of his friends, Brendan, visited pretty regularly. Brendan heard about our extremely loose plans for Europe. Part of me feels like it was while we were watching the Home Run Derby in the ICU the last week Brent was alive but it could’ve very well been a different conversation. Either way, he immediately offered to be our tour guide since he traveled each summer to visit his sister who lives in Germany. While Brent said it wouldn’t be for a while, we both gladly accepted the offer.

Without second guessing or planning a thing, I added Barcelona to the bucket list for this year. I didn’t know how, exactly when, or who would come with me but it was something I wanted to make happen. On a whim, Brendan joined me on my first trip back in August of 2017 to visit Broocks in Charlottesville, VA. When I told him my list of places I wanted to go and check off, he signed up for Europe instantly. Little did I know that just under a year later, my trip to Barcelona would expand into a two week trip to Spain, Germany and France. I got a lot more than I bargained for and I’m extremely grateful for that. 

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Have you ever seen The Notebook? Remember the scene where Ryan Gosling is yelling at Rachel McAdams asking her, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” I think this exact conversation happened half a dozen times on my trip with Brendan. (Minus the crying and it really didn’t carry on that long at all) I believe that I’ve always been a rather fair person. I can compromise. While compromise should be a part of every relationship, there was a lot of it when Brent became sick. I think it became a natural part of our day to day life. Some days Brent would want ice cream but he couldn’t have dairy, so we had lemon ice which would turn into a new found favorite of his. Or some days he wouldn’t want to get out of bed but needed to move around. So we’d set a goal of laps to walk around on the hospital floor. Or maybe there was a concert, family gathering or something that I wanted to go to (Brent obviously would too) but didn’t because I wanted to see Brent every single weekend to give him the love and support that he deserved...no matter where the hospital bed was located. And I always did just that. So when Brendan would ask me, “What do you feel like eating?”, “What do you want to do later?” or, “Which way do you want to go now?” I couldn’t always give a direct answer. A few months after Brent had passed, I kind of woke up and started speaking up more. If I wanted something, I’d ask for it. If I went to a restaurant and was brought to a booth but realized there was seating available outside - I requested it. I don’t mean this in a selfish way either and never want to be an inconvenience. But why not get what you want?...within reason, that is. My last trip was to Portland and I did the entire thing solo. It was wonderful - ‘me time’ was great but tiring after a while. It’s nice to share an experience with somebody, it’s a relief to share plates with another person and be able to taste several different items off a rad menu and it’s just ideal to not have to think all of the time and receive suggestions from another person where to go, what to do and so on. So I’ve come to realized when asked, “What do you want to do today?” can be hard to answer when you’re so used to working as a team with some one else and considering what they need. It comes and goes I suppose. Something so simple shouldn’t be so complicated...but sometimes it is.

July 4th Brendan and I saw the most stunning tourist attraction in Barcelona, The Sagrada Familia. Maybe it was because I didn’t get much sleep the night before or the fact that it was the last day of our trip or I was anxious to just get home, but I didn’t really feel like speaking and my mind was everywhere and present at the same time. A year ago that day was the last day Brent had outside of the hospital. I drove him to Wilkes-Barre to see his family and friends. It was as if he wanted to make some final stops to see people he loved without knowing what was ahead of him. July 5th was our flight home. July 5, 2017 was the day Brent’s roommate called me. I won’t forget it. It was the day he and I carried Brent down the stairs of his apartment and I drove like an absolute maniac to get him to the emergency room. But here I was July 4, 2018 in a monster size Catholic church that is STILL being built from 1882. It was absolutely amazing. Brendan pointed out that there was a “magic square” on the building which has been a brain teaser and a complete mystery that the architect,  Antoni Gaudí, brought to his tomb. Brendan also pointed out that no matter which way you add up the rows, you get 33. The age Brent passed.

Earlier this year, Mary, a colleague of Brent’s also went to Spain and she placed a sticker outside of The Sagrada Familia. I saved the photo for when it was my turn to visit and find her sticker. Her photo and post from Facebook is below:

“#livelikebrent Ok you guys, I post so rarely on this thing, but need to share this all with you. Also pretty sure this is the first time I’ve hashtagged (is this a verb now?) anything! Before I left the office last week for Barcelona, I spied Sallie Sharer’s Carve 4 Cancer’s sticker and realized I totally forgot to get a sticker and wanted to leave a piece of Brent P. Evans’s legacy in Spain (I’m usually a day late and a dollar short on most things). Sallie kindly let me take it (thanks, Sallie!) so that I could tag Spain. While I only knew Brent for a short time in my professional life, he certainly has made a lasting impression. I felt a responsibility to leave it somewhere monumental. Well as it turns out, you don’t get more monumental then the Sagrada Família. I couldn’t quite figure out why I thought this would be the perfect (albeit most touristy spot) in all of Barcelona. But the spot definitely felt right. Katie Rose Logan said it so perfectly when I told her - it’s beautiful, full of spirit, and has such a beautiful story, just like Brent. Katie was 100% right. It’s also a place of peace and hope for Christians. It brings people together to admire its beauty, creativity, and massive size. Not one person who passes by, can just walk by. Most people stop to inquire about the structure, admire it, and discuss it with other people around it. Much like the Basilica, Brent had a way of bringing people together with his big personality and he wasn’t one to let you just pass by his desk without asking how you’ve been and engaging you in conversation. He continually spread a hopeful and optimistic message about life.. So Katie and my gut were right, the Sagrada Família was the perfect spot for a #livelikebrent sticker. Brent, I hope you enjoy the spot from across the street!”

Originally, I had planned on putting a sticker up elsewhere in Barcelona. But I honestly was not coming across the right locations. I knew that sooner or later I’d realize where to place it ... and I did. Barcelona was on our bucket list for me. So I decided to not reinvent the wheel and check-up on Mary’s sticker. Sadly but definitely not completely unexpected - Mary’s sticker was gone. So I decided to replace it. Mary’s words from her post could not be more accurate so I found the spot and put the sticker back up with a little addition.

I could tell you all about the cava we drank in Spain, gelato I consumed in each country, the bike tour in Munich (which ruled) and spending just under 24 hours in some of the most adorable towns in the Alsace region of France. But this isn’t a travel blog. It’s a blog about places I’ve traveled for very special reasons. I made a plan to travel for a year to honor a human being that is loved by so many people...and I did just that. While I will only check off 11 out of 13 places on this list, Brent and I have already traveled to Boston to visit his friends Andy and Nicole, I’ve seen Matt Segal more times this year than I can remember (NOT complaining!) and will see those three special people once again when I check the 11th place off the list to visit for a second time: West Virginia University in Morgantown, West Virginia. I think it goes without saying that I owe a very huge ‘thank you’ to Brendan for helping me check off a major bucket list item for me. Never in a million years did I think this is how I would spend my late twenties...but it has been a bittersweet year between all of the traveling, reliving Brent’s last year each day in my mind and spending so much time with all of his (our!) dear friends and family.

So for the remainder of this post, I’m going to do something a little different and let the photos do most of the talking...

Barcelona, Spain...

Munich, Esslingen am Neckar, The Black Forest &  Kirchheim Utner Teck, Germany...

Kayserberg & Colemar, France...

[livelikebrent]

Stop 8: Portland, Oregon

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." - John Wooden

Solid quote, right? After planning a trip to Seattle I wanted to hit Portland while I was out there. I had the time. I didn’t take much time off the year and a half prior. If I did, it was usually last minute to get to the hospital because something had happened with Brent. I’m not complaining by any means. I didn’t take vacations, only weekend trips with Brent to Ocean City Maryland, or back home (both of ours). Time is something you’ll never get back. It’s something that should be spent wisely but not cautiously. When making my plans to be in Seattle with my brother and friends, Josh and Hannah, no one signed up to come on my Portland trip. I was actually pretty keen on the idea of having some time to myself, in a city I knew nothing about and spending 5 days with no where to be and no one to truly answer to. I mean, traveling alone was something I had become pretty used to when Brent became sick. I’d travel for hours by train, subway, car, by foot etc. to see him in New York City, Northern New Jersey, back home in Wilkes-Barre or during the weekdays in between visits. I’ve always been a rather independent person...so it had never intimidated me. 

My brother and I shared an Uber to the airport before the sun even showed up on Tuesday morning. He made his way to departing flights as I went to rent a car. I hopped into a black economy class car. I actually did look into splurging on a Mercedes or something I probably won’t ever own myself. But it turns out even renting one for only a few hours would cost close to the amount of money I’d been spending on Airbnbs for the week. But as I made my way south, I had an outstanding purple and magenta sunrise along with a Seattle throw back hip hop radio station. Aside from the sky everything was green, the sky had begun to drizzle, I stopped at a Starbucks (shocking, I know), ordered a coffee and plugged Cannon Beach into my GPS. I couldn’t tell you how I knew about Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach. I figured everyone knew it existed and that was one of Oregon’s iconic spots. Turns out, not so much. It was an easy drive as I drove along the coast and I passed through a half dozen small coastal towns. One of those towns was Astoria, Oregon, which brought me to my first official stop: Rogue’s Ales Astoria Public House. The establishment wasn’t even open yet but as I drove across a one way wooden boardwalk out to the bar which is the old Bumble Bee Tuna Cannery, I cracked my windows and listened to seals barking.

I walked inside, the bar tender in a Tommy Bahama button down told me to take a seat anywhere and asked if I was alone. I sat myself at the bar and as I stared up at the board of what was on tap, he poured me some beer to try. I ended up with a sour and a cup of clam chowder. It was most definitely a soup type of day. The bartender asked me where I was traveling from. I explained I was on a trip from Philly and had just made my way down from Seattle. We chatted for a bit about road trips, the Pacific Northwest and whatnot. I grabbed a shirt to buy for my Dad and as I was closing out my tab, I asked the bartender about a sticker. I told him I had noticed that it was a relatively clean looking and a sticker would look out of place. He pulled over a wooden Rogue napkin/condiment holder that already had a “Be nice you’re in Oregon.” sticker on it...he said, “You can put it right here.” I told him about Brent and why I was there. He told me about a buddy of his that was in surgery that very moment to have a cancerous mass removed. I shook his hand, told him I wished the best for his buddy and continued my way down to Canon Beach.

I think it’s kind of silly to describe a rock as majestic. But there is really no other way to explain it. First of all, it’s a massive rock on a beach surrounded by other rather large rocks. As I drove through the small town and wound up the road I saw Haystack rock on my right just beyond some homes on the hill. I pulled my rental over grinning from ear to ear and hopped out. I snapped some photos from up above. Then I tried to figure out where I could ditch my car so I could walk on the beach. I found a nearby lot and walked along the water in my vans, jacket and hat to try and stay a bit warm from the breeze and lack of morning sunshine. It was awesome. I wanted to stay on the beach all day to just take in the sights and sounds. I need to plan a trip to travel back for warmer weather and book a little beach bungalow cottage off of the main road so I could soak it all in for a bit longer.

Recognize this beach? The Goonies was filmed here. *Insert truffle shuffle move here* After my long walk on the beach I had a friend suggest a place for a bite and a brew right on the main street by Haystack Rock called Cannon Beach Hardware & Public House. The answer is YES. It is exactly what it sounds like. As I sat in an old airplane seat eating an ahi tuna salad and sipping on a hard cider, a man was buying Gorilla Glue and some screws. It’s a hardware store with a bar on one end. It was one of the most interesting places I have ever been and I would highly recommend it.

I continued to Portland winding through towering Douglas Firs and I couldn’t get over how green everything was. If I wasn’t surrounded by some sort of pine it was a tree absolutely covered in moss. It started misting on my drive and a fog hung out at the top of the trees. It was just all so lush and so refreshing to see. I couldn't tell you why but I simply couldn’t get enough of it. If I didn’t have to return the rental car, I would’ve spent hours just driving around. I wouldn’t be surprise if I swung through Ferngully at one point.

I finally checked into my Airbnb which was ADORABLE and located in the Hawthorne neighborhood of the city. You can view the entire place here! I decided not to stay in the heart of downtown Portland because I figured staying in a different neighborhood would force me to check out different areas. But the place I stayed in was everything I needed and nothing more. It was a one bedroom basement apartment right off of one of Portland’s main drags. It turned out that one of my college buds lived a couple blocks away with his girlfriend. So I could easily meet up with him later in the week after work.

What did I do in Portland? I walked. Then walked. Walked and walked. Why? Because I had a pair of Vans and all the time in the world. I’d rather see a city I’ve never been to before on foot anyway. Day one I walked downtown to hit up Voodoo Donut. The weather ruled...again, I do realize I lucked out with weather on the trip. One of the many things I did not know about Portland is that they have several (a total of 12) bridges. Crazy. As I spotted a bridge to cross I stumbled upon a place called Urbanite. I unexpectedly spent close to an hour in there walking up and down the aisles checking out the eclectic consignment booths filled with home decor, art work, furniture and odds and ends. Had I not only traveled with a carry on for this entire trip, I probably would’ve made several purchases...I even considered shipping stuff back to Philadelphia. Also, can we take note of the extremely creepy coat rack in the photo below that took 1.5 deer to make?

As I walked across the Burnside Bridge, one of Portland’s main arteries, I came across Portland’s infamous White Stag Sign.

Right over the bridge was the doughnut shop. Right outside of the shop were a couple of homeless people who knew EXACTLY what they were doing. They stood outside of the all cash establishment nabbing pretty much tourists all day long. So nobody could go to the easy go to line of, “Sorry, I only have my card on me.” Also, I will say they were pretty aggressive. I didn’t expect to be harassed trying to simply buy a bacon covered doughnut. Along with said doughnut, I purchased a couple of post cards to mail out. Again, I’m not sure why I love postcards so much. Sometimes I just write a quick note to people and others I’m trying to squeeze in as many words as humanly possible in my message. Side note: Feel free to send me some on your trips! I got my doughnut, post cards and found a spot to sit outside as I continued to listen to tourists heckled by Portland’s finest.

After my mid-morning snack I went to a couple of shops including Adler and Co, Stumptown Coffee, Union Way, Powell’s, Made Here PDX and Porch Light. Shout out to Haley for all of the recommendations! I linked the last three because they were amazing. Powell’s is the world’s largest independent bookstore. It’s like you’re in a completely different world in there. While I spent some time browsing, reading and wandering around, I heard multiple parties lost over the loud speaker. They have sections of the book store marked in colors...so they had to ask the lost humans to report to the purple section or orange section of the store. 

Made Here had a TON of products that were made locally in Portland. They had everything from candy, jewelry, leather goods, art to beauty products. I kept seeing salted black licorice everywhere. My mom is one of those people that loves black licorice and yes, black jelly beans...but I think a lot of moms do come to think of it. Needless to say, I bought it for her. Still haven’t heard how they are...I suppose the jury is still out on that one.

Porch Light. GAH. I spent SO much time in there. I didn’t want to leave but I was terrified of buying almost EVERYTHING. Disclaimer: Their website doesn’t have half the stuff they have in store. But I did end up treating myself to a pretty little ring to remember the trip and such a wonderfully dreamy establishment.

After I was done with shopping and browsing there was a  Deschutes location: the Deschutes Public House.  The brew pub’s 26 taps featured Deschutes beer plus a selection of seasonal and experimental beers developed and brewed on site exclusively for the Portland pub. I had a sour, fried cauliflower and made my way back to my apartment. I ended most afternoons on the cozy, green velour couch with Nextflix, a cup of green tea and a nap. But that evening my college bud, Sean, hit me up for a drink. I met him at The Nest which is a local’s bar off the main drag and not terribly far from where I was staying. It was a dive bar with board games, video games and ping pong. We grabbed a seat outside on the patio, caught up and then Sean showed me around the neighborhood. We ended up at Quarter World Arcade. It was basically Philly’s Barcarde but on steroids and it was awesome. We probably spent a decent amount in quarters and I introduced Sean to my favorite arcade game, Tapper. Tapper is game where you are the bartender serving up Budwisers to dozens of thirsty patrons. It makes me so anxious playing but it’s so much fun..

Thursday was a day I spent in the Hawthorne section of Portland. I walked to a place called Pine State Biscuits. If you know me, I’ll have a biscuit with every meal if possible. So I walked a bit to earn my biscuit brunch and ordered The Money Ball which was biscuits and gravy topped with an over easy egg and a tall glass of sweet tea. I sat there and took my time...it was absolutely delish. I thought about asking to put a Live Like Brent sticker up since I had yet to place one up in Portland. But it was a cleaner/sleeker type of establishment in ambiance. So I figured it wasn’t the right spot.

After the concrete settled in my stomach, I continued to walk. I came across a smaller Powell’s location and tons of small businesses. Portland is extremely supportive of entrepreneurs which was really neat. I fell in love with a shop called Tender Loving Empire. Similar to Porch Light, but more within my budget, I did not want to leave and I wanted everything.

Friday was another day of walking. I walked 5 miles across the city to see the International Rose Test Garden  and the Japanese Garden. Mind you, it was mid-March so it wasn’t exactly peek season for the roses. Honestly, they were all chopped down with the exception of a few. But I bet it is stunning in the summer time. Also, I really don’t know if that’s a rose pictured below. But it was pretty and there was an entire wall of them.

I got zen in the Japanese Garden and walked around. It was conveniently located immediately behind the Rose Garden. It was pretty interesting. There were interesting trees, greenery and moss everywhere and Koi fish in some of the ponds. There was a house in the garden with a back patio that has the best view of Mt. Hood in all of Portland. But guess what?! It was a drizzling, grey and overcast day...so there wasn’t too much of a view.

As it started to rain, I took another suggestion out of Haley’s guide to Portland email she had sent to me and went to Great Notion Brewery for a beer and a bite to eat. The brewery was awesome and definitely a place I would hang out regularly if I had lived there. It had a lumber jack theme and vibe going on and is known for fruity and sour beers...I had a Blueberry Muffin beer, a tart ale, which was pretty legit. I tried making conversation with the bartender and asking her for other suggestions in the area. Every interaction was brief. She wasn’t in the mood for conversation. So I guess then I wasn’t in the mood to over tip. Afterwards, I decided to leave the area and I made my way down to Mississippi Ave. to window shop and for another drink before heading back to the apartment. 

I spent most nights at my Airbnb relaxing with a cup of tea watching Netflix. Some of you probably just read that last sentence and said, “Uh, what.” and then you probably thought, “Why would you do that on a trip when you could do it at home?” Well, it’s not something I do at home all that often. On the week days between my weekends traveling to and from New York to Brent, I would come home from work, throw on my pajamas, maybe make dinner and watch episode after episode after episode of The Office, Shameless, The Office again and whatever other sitcom I may have gotten into. My focus Monday through Friday was to work and just get through the week so I could hurry up to the next weekend to see Brent. But after Brent had passed I couldn’t do it. When he was alive (and home) we were always on the go, even when he was home and sick in his recliner, I’d be at the grocery store for him, picking up prescriptions, cooking food for him that he could easily reheat, so on and so on. Even after he had passed, the amount of phone calls, texts and Facebook messages to make plans never stopped. When they did finally slow down I would find myself after a second episode of Chopped twiddling my thumbs. I would stand up and need to do something. Sitting still became almost impossible. I felt useless. I felt like there had to be something better I could be doing with my time. So the fact that I had an entire 5 days to be alone in Portland, reflect and veg out...was exactly what I needed once again.

One night, I decided to find a movie from my mental list “Movies I should’ve seen at one point in my life but never did” and chose “Into The Wild.” For those of you who do not know the premise. It’s a 2007 film directed and produced by Sean Penn starring Emile Hirsh based off of the book about the travels of Christopher McCandless across North America and his experiences in the Alaskan wilderness in the early 1990s. McCandless graduates college, doesn’t want anything from his well to do family, destroys everything he owns and donates every last penny to charity. He wanted to live off of nothing but the Earth itself and disappear into the wild. He did fairly well for himself...during his travels, he meets a group of gypsies, make friends and along the way and works a couple of odd and end jobs to get him to his ultimate destination. He loved being on his own, earning every meal on his own and taking in the beauty of nature. He does make it to Alaska but being an amateur and not properly trained on this type of survival, his supplies begins to run out. As he decided to maybe make a return to civilization. When he packed up his home he had created in an abandoned bus and retraced his steps. He encountered the river he once crossed but didn’t account for the snow to thaw during the winter causing the water to rise a great deal. He retreated back to his bus to figure out how to continue and he goes into the wild to find something to eat. McCandless mistakenly eats a plant that ultimately killed him. When he realized he mistakenly ate a poisonous plant, he wrote one last thing in his journal:  "Happiness only real when shared.”

At this point in the movie I’m ready to burst out in tears as I tell the television in front of me, “HE’S SO RIGHT.” As I sat there on the couch, curled up under a lavender blanket I was tired of taking selfies, I wanted somebody to share dishes with as I could never finish a plate of food by myself, it was nice to not be on anyone else’s schedule but it would be nice to share and experience Portland with somebody alongside of me. I had been blessed to have so many friends join me on my many stops for the Live Like Brent Tour. I was excited to have plenty of downtime by myself to explore and experience a new city. But what I had found is the same thing (in a much less dramatic way) as Chris McCandless. It’s great and wonderful to be happy with yourself, to be independent but what is life if you don’t have somebody to share it’s experiences with?

 I shared my final day in Portland with Sean, and his girlfriend, J’ena. They took me to the Colombia River Gorge which itself was gorge - There was still a morning mist and fog hanging heavy in the sky. We stopped at the Vista House which is a free museum at Crown Point and also serves as a memorial to Oregon pioneers and as a comfort station for travelers on the Historic Columbia River Highway. We climbed to the stop of the house and we were able to get quite the view.

As we made our way along the Colombia River Highway we made a couple of stops along the way to hike and see several stunning waterfalls. During the car ride I learned more about J’ena. She’s kind of a big deal. She kinda was a very sought after NEW character at Disney. She Kinda was in the circus. Her family was kinda like gypsies. Again, she’s kinda big deal and I’m so happy for her and Sean.

After we walked the final trail and saw the final waterfall. We made our way back to Rose City for a bite to eat. This is where I had THE BEST dish of my entire trip. We went to a place called Bye and Bye, a hip southern inspired vegan bar. When my best bud, Ang, went to Portland to visit Haley she wouldn’t stop talking about this place and the bowl she ate. And now I can’t stop thinking about this place and the bowl I ate! I had the Eastern Bowl which included nutritional yeast breaded tofu, broccoli, and brown rice with a spicy ginger peanut sauce, topped with sesame seeds. That spicy ginger peanut sauce was seriously the most flavorful thing ever. I couldn’t finish it but didn’t mind because it was something I was definitely ready to take back with me for a late snack. But we hung out for a bit more. We chatted about work, books we’ve recently read and other things. I expressed concern that I had yet to place a Live Like Brent sticker in Portland. I started to think that perhaps it was an omen. Brent thought about moving to Portland when we first started dating. Now here I was in the same city and couldn’t find the right spot...and I wasn’t being picky by any means. Sean then asked me, “Wait, wasn’t Brent into the Dead and like Phish?” Turns out there was a Grateful Dead bar in the neighborhood I was staying in and Sean told me to go visit it. It was called Fire on the Mountain.

I grabbed an Uber as the rain started to really come down. I got to Fire on the Mountain and it smelled like buffalo sauce. The two owners opened it because they felt that Portland needed a solid wing joint. I walked in and found an empty stool at the bar. I asked a guy sucking down beer and wings if it was open. I sat there, ordered an IPA Sean had suggested and an order of deep fried Oreo’s. Honestly, I wasn’t all that hungry from my delish bowl. But they did sound pretty good. As I sat there, it was the perfect place to put a sticker up for Brent. It was a funky spot with cool stickers all around, I spotted an A-Basin sticker in the kitchen on the door of their cooler. Side note: A-Basin was a mountain I snowboarded for Brent on the Colorado trip and it was one of his favorite spots to shred. Another notable sticker said, “Support Your Local Shake Down Street.” So I snagged a bartender’s ear for a moment and explained why I was in Portland and more importantly why I was at Fire on the Mountain on my last day of the trip. His response was kind and he was sorry for my loss, thanked me for sharing my story and told me that he would be honored to put the sticker behind the bar.

The guy next to me was just about done sucking down his chicken wings and said, “Boy do those Oreo’s smell good.” I IMMEDIATELY offered some as again, there was no way I could eat all of it. His name was Clay and he told me he was sorry to hear about Brent. We sat there and ordered a couple rounds of beers. He was drinking Rainier Beer which is comparable to a PBR I suppose. He grew up in Utah but moved around a bit for work, Portland was where he had landed and loved it. He double checked that I hit all of the spots that any visitor should. The one thing I did not do was eat from a food truck. There were PLENTY of opportunities, but it just simply never happened. After a while I decided to call it a day and ended my last night in Portland on the cozy green couch, under the lavender blanket, a cup of green tea, Netflix and the remainder of my Eastern Bowl.

[livelikebrent]

Stop 8: Seattle, Washington

When Brent was rediagnosed, it was less than a month before his 32nd birthday. I remember thinking he could either be in the hospital for this birthday or at home...but either way, he’d be rather sick. So I created a private Facebook event inviting all of Brent’s friends in Philadelphia and back home in Wilkes-Barre to a surprise party for Brent. I figured if he wasn’t in the hospital I could have him surrounded by the people that meant the most but if he was admitted then everyone would already have that evening blocked off and could try to stop by at some point to wish him a happy birthday. Welp, he wasn’t in the hospital to celebrate his 32nd year and he told me, “This was the best birthday I’ve ever had.” Hearing that made me so extremely happy.

When planning out this tour, I wanted to travel somewhere meaningful for Brent’s 34th birthday. I decided on the Pacific Northwest. Just about a month before Brent was rediagnosed, we were sitting in his living room a day before my birthday. We planned this west coast road trip beginning in Seattle and driving the coast down to San Diego. Between the two of us, we knew plenty of people that would allow us to couch surf and the towns/destinations where we didn’t know anyone, we planned on camping. We didn’t make that trip together but I checked off two cities for him: Seattle and Portland.

My brother, Chris, and I boarded the plane in Philadelphia to Seatlle and to meet up with Josh and Hannah. As we settled into our seats, we realized we were absolutely SURROUNDED by Americorps volunteers making their way back from Puerto Rico. Ummm, could our flight be anymore PNW than that?

I made a promise to my brother we’d take more photos together because I think I have more photos of myself with his daughter at this point. But somehow, even miles away...Maddie ends up in the picture. *Swooooon* The flight was pretty dreamy for the first few hours as we were literally chasing the sunset from the east to west coast. Then the last few hours...well, I could’ve done without.

Josh and Hannah had already checked into our Airbnb (which was super cute!) in the Capitol Hill section of Seattle. You can see it here! They landed at a brewery a couple of blocks away called Outer Planet Brewing. It was a small but solid spot. When we walked in I spotted them laughing and chatting and both had exclaimed when we walked in the door. Josh and Hannah had made several friends and had several beers at this point. Brent and I adore these two. They’re a genuine couple. Their wedding was actually the last wedding Brent and I attended together which was only a couple of weeks before he was admitted into ICU. Brent met Josh via a mutual friend. It was as simple as Brent being told a kid named Josh moved to Philly who played soccer as was also from the Wilkes-Barre area. Brent got Josh’s phone number, called him, and basically told him they were supposed to be friends and they were going to be. So we talked to our newly found friends by Josh and Hannah about where we were from, what our plans were and asked for suggestions on places to go. One piece of advice we did end up taking away from these new friends was to catch a view of the city from Kerry Park.

Chris and I woke up early the next morning, walked to the market and began making breakfast for everyone. The weather forecast for our trip was sunny and mid to high 50s. I know what you’re thinking, “LOL. WHAT.” I know, I know. We totally expected rain and clouds too. It took us a while, but every person we met that realized we were from out of town would say, “Well, jeez. You got Seattle on a beautiful weekend. It’s NEVER like this.” Only, it took us a while to realize they weren’t speaking about the warmer temperatures. They were talking about the fact that the sun was actually out.

We left our Airbnb and started our walk to center city with our final destination being Pike Place Market. We had also decided that we’d snack through the city that day. We first passed by a place called The Pine Box which looked pretty cool but was closed so we stopped at the Melrose Market across the street. The 8 year old market is an indoor food and retail market on Capitol Hill in Seattle. It is made up of a set of historic automotive buildings constructed between 1919 and 1926, which were eventually converted into the Melrose Market. It had a rustic/farmhouse chic vibe going on. Or put it this way, you’d think that Joanna Gaines’ cousin probably designed it. We passed through and continued on our walk when we landed Snack #1: Cupcake Royale. A whiskey maple bacon cupcake and a caramel pretzel ice cream. And yes, we asked the girl behind the counter for 4 spoons and a knife to slice the cupcake into fourths.

As we walked out of the cupcake shop, staring back at us at the bottom of the hill was Pike Place Public Market buzzing with tourists and the water glistening behind it. This is probably the one thing I wanted to check off the list and see in the city. So we dove on in.

As we made our way through the crowd, I realized I was in Seattle’s version of Philadelphia’s Reading Terminal Market. There were fresh flowers everywhere, fish, meats, produce little shops with souvenirs and crowds of people.

But this is where we landed Snack #2: Bloody Marys and New England Clam Chower (two of Brent’s favorites) at The Athenian Seafood Restaurant and Bar. This place had quite the view on the water overlooking the Olympic Mountains which stand at close to 8,000ft with a rain forest at the top (Like WHAT. Rain forest? That’s crazy) which is nothing compared to Mount Rainier starring back at them at a whopping 14,411 ft. which is actually a volcano. We couldn’t get over the view. This is something I’m sure I’ll repeat over and over like I did that day. We had no idea that Seattle had so much going on geographically.

After we wrapped up we went back into the market to watch the fish being tossed around as the crowd cheered and applauded. (That was the real reason we went to the market). But then we met up with Tony, one of Brent’s close friends from West Virginia University. I had met Tony only once before. He reached out to be shortly after Brent got the news back in 2016. Tony and Craig, another Mountaineer, wanted to come visit Brent due to the recent events and asked if they could come on Saturday, March 12th. I asked Tony to do one better by arriving on Friday, March 11th to be a part of Brent’s surprise party I had in the works.

On Brent’s birthday in 2016, Tony and Craig flew into Philadelphia. I told Brent I was taking him to a birthday dinner but wouldn’t tell him where. He was exhausted from going to the Philadelphia Flower Show earlier that day with his mom followed by lunch with myself and his dad. That afternoon, I was able to race him back to his apartment for a quick nap before I anxiously woke him up telling him we needed to go and lied telling him that the reservations were extremely important to keep. He groaned and got in the car with his neck pillow. He couldn’t sleep though. He was mad when I got on Route 76 (I mean, I think getting on 76 upsets anyone in general) to get on 95 south and started to get irritated when I wouldn’t tell him where dinner was. As we continued south, I got off the exit for the airport and I remember him saying, “Ais, left. Stay left. Ais, honey, you’re getting off at the airport, AIS!” But I looked back at him and smirked and I saw the wheels in his head start to turn. He responded to me with, “Where are you taking me?!” I laughed at him and told him to calm down and that we weren’t flying anywhere. As we pulled up to the curb for arrivals, he saw Tony and Craig standing there with their luggage at their feet. They jumped off of the sidewalk waving their arms in the air with excitement. “Oh my God. No. You didn’t!!” He was almost reduced to tears as he got out of the car to embrace his friends he hadn’t seen for a bit of time. I introduced myself to both Tony and Craig and got them into the car and then finally headed to dinner to one of my favorite and unique “go tos” at Victor Cafe. Side note: This place is super fun because every employee is an opera singer. Everyone 20 minutes of so a brass bell rings and an aria is sung.

Brent was ecstatic that Craig and Tony were in town for the weekend but he had no idea what was still ahead. I kept updating friends at the house on our status. I planned a Star-Wars themed party including homemade Wookie Cookies, Light Saber chocolate covered pretzels, Mini Jabba the Hut Dogs and more. Oh yeah, we also had a DJ set-up in his living room.

When we arrived, he was taken COMPLETELY off guard. He couldn’t get over it. The apartment was jam packed with our friends, family and Carve Crew. Also, West Virgina was on the screen. They beat the University of Oklahoma that night in the Big 12 Tournament 69 to 67. I remember standing in the living room towards the end of the game next to Mr. Evans and hearing him mumble, “Please let them win for Brent’s birthday. PLEASE win.” Well, they did...

This was also a very special birthday as we had received THE letter stating that Carve for Cancer, Inc. was approved as an official 501c3 non-profit. Cancer or no cancer, the evening honestly could not have been any better. There was so much joy and love in that apartment. The next morning Brent had a bit of fever. So I made him sleep and drink plenty of fluids. He had been so tired from the exciting night. Brent spent time with the two boys Saturday. Before we took Craig and Tony to the airport by the end of Brent’s birthday weekend, we grabbed a solid Sunday brunch at Khyber Pass Pub. The Big Ass Biscuit there is SO good. As we left, I asked to take a photo to remember one of the best parts of the surprise birthday weekend: friends.

Needless to say, being with Tony on this weekend meant a lot to me. He had texted me the week leading up to the trip saying he had the entire weekend blocked off for us. I’m so glad he did because he did a stellar job of giving us a local’s prospective on the city while still hitting a couple of “must sees” for visitors. We started with Post Alley and on the wall leading up to this was the first #LiveLikeBrent sticker slap of the trip.

Post Alley is a short and narrow alley under the market COVERED in chewing gum. Think of the Love Lock Bridge in Paris...but walls covered in gum...and less romantic. There’s a reason I compared those two if we’re being honest. According to Tour Guide Tony, they have to scrape the gum off the base of the building because over time it has made the building structure less sound...just like cutting off the locks of the bridge. But again, less romantic. I know. We all put a piece of gum on the building...Tony had never done it before but he put his up too!

We walked through the alley and made our way down towards the water. Tony brought us to Snack #3: Ivar’s. “Sometimes I come here multiple times in a week.” We waited in line and sat at a table under a tent by the water. We ordered a few items but the most notable one was the fried salmon...yes, you read that correctly. Actually, I correct myself. The most notable item was the tartar sauce. Hannah and I were ready to bathe in it - it was that good. 

After we finished, we hopped on a boat to cruise over to Bainbridge Island and back to get a view of the city and landscape surrounding it. The Puget Sound, Olympic Mountains and Mount Rainier were once again...incredible. The photos and videos below can’t even do the view any justice. Seattle was definitely the most underrated city on my Tour de Brent.

On our way back to Seattle we had Snack #4: Ferry Beers! We had local Seattle brews as we sat inside for the ride back enjoying the sun and views out the windows. When we got back to the city, we walked an up hill battle to Snack #5: Another beer! Tony took us to a place called Cloudburst Brewing. It was a unique little brewery along one of the streets in the city with an open air feel via a garage door entrance. We snagged a couple of seats and crowded a small cafe sized table. We chatted about everything, Brent, politics, Carve and whatnot. I asked Tony what I ask everyone on these trips, “How did you first meet Brent?” Tony said it was their freshman year at West Virginia University. They were sitting in some sort of orientation and Tony was wearing a pair of his Dragon brand sunglasses. If you know Brent, he always wore Dragons. I actually just found a pair of his old Dragons he stashed in my glove compartment of my car. But I digress, Tony said this kid came up to him during this orientation and said, “Hey man. What’s up with your glasses?” Tony responded to him, “What’s up with YOUR glasses?” And they had been friends ever since. If you’ve been reading these posts, there’s a trend here. Brent approached people the same way... a nonchalant but friendly attitude that was incredibly easy to respond to.

 After we wrapped up at Cloudbust, Tony took us to Pike Brewing Company. This place was the exact opposite of the brewery we had previously been to. The place was absolutely massive.

We ordered a round of drinks, dungeness crab and artichoke dip, pretzel platter and house kimchi. It was so good. There was decor everywhere, neons and the place was fun and was buzzing with chatter which I suppose is expected on a Saturday in the city. But regardless, it was a solid way to end the day with Tony. So I found a door before we left that had only a handful of stickers on it and placed another up there.

We made our way back to the place to collapse for what little was left of the day. When it came to finally deciding to eat dinner and stop snacking, we ended up at an Ethiopian joint called Queen Sheba. Josh, Hannah and myself frequent a place in Philly called E.R.A. which is a dive bar with excellent Ethiopian food. My brother was skeptical when we decided on this for dinner. But we ordered a platter and shared everything...it’s safe to say he now thoroughly enjoys the cuisine too. And I know when you look at the photo below you’ll think, “Uhhh. That definitely looks like a bunch of slop.” I get it. If this were an episode of Chopped this dish would be marked down tremendously on presentation. But the chef would say, “I made up for the lack of presentation to the judges in the taste. I just KNOW that the flavors are there to make me a Chopped Champion.” Truuue.

Sunday, March 11th was Brent’s birthday. We kicked it off with Tony, his wife and son. Jessamyn and Rainer were just as awesome as Tony...even if Rainer gave us the stink eye for the majority of the meal. Nonetheless, it was a place Tony highly recommended called, Portage Bay Cafe. The four of us were trying not to eat too much as we had a lunch meeting that day. But we ate ourselves into a sluggish mess...I mean, their tagline is “Eat like you give a damn.” We couldn’t stop giving a damn.

After we parted ways, we continued Brent’s birthday with a meeting at an Italian place with Dr. Shustov, a research doctor Carve 4 Cancer has been funding for the last three years. Ultimately, Carve’s annual donation to Dr. Shustov is placed into a foundation called Cush it to the Limit. The foundation was set-up by the family of Ben Cushing, a 19 year old who, similar to Brent, had Hepatosplenic T-cell Lymphoma.

As Josh, Hannah, Chris and myself walked into the restaurant and up the stairs into a chatter filled room, we were greeted by over a dozen smiling faces. It was Dr. Shustov’s assistant, Ben’s friends and his family members. We were overwhelmed at first but immediately everyone began shaking our hands, introducing themselves and welcoming us to Seattle.

As we sat around the table, Dr. Shustov came in to join us. I shared the story of Brent and Carve alongside Josh. Some days I can talk about Brent and his journey without batting an eye. Other times, I can’t control the emotion in my voice. Against my will, I shared some tears which were well received and reciprocated. We didn’t know Ben. As I sat at that table, I wish I did though. As soon as Ben’s mom began telling his story we couldn’t get over the similarities between Ben and Brent. Ben’s story is much shorter than Brent’s as he had been diagnosed and passed within 9 months. But the way they described Ben and the type of person he was, I kept interrupting by saying, “You are describing the exact person that Brent was.” We were floored. As everyone went around and introduced themselves, I couldn’t help but focus on Ben’s buddies that were sitting across from me. I know that I’ve said it a million times before, but Brent surrounded himself with only the best people. I find myself so grateful to have his friends as my own today. But Ben’s friends are no different. Across from me sat Ben’s sister Emily, and friends: Cole, Ben and Will.

It was shared that Cole stayed home from college to be with Ben in the hospital during his first semester. WHO DOES THAT?! When Brent underwent and was recovering from his transplant, I traveled every Friday to him in New York City to return late Sunday night so I could get back to work during the week. But I was 28 years old with a career. A 19 year old, fresh out of high school with a college experience lying ahead...to say that they are going to put that off to be closer in distance with their best friend, that’s quite the 19 year old if you ask me. But he’s not the only one. Will decided to attend school locally.  Ben’s friend, Ben, was going to come home the next semester if Ben was still in treatment. If Brent didn’t already make you want to be a better person, Ben, Cole, Ben and Will have inspired me now more than ever.

Dr. Shustov spoke to the group sharing some new theories and research he had been doing for this detrimental disease. He spoke about both Ben and Brent’s cases. Ben was what his mom referred to as a “classic case.” He checked everything off the list that could lead to this rare cancer: young, male, Crohn’s diesease, mono and the list goes on. He had been diagnosed in January of 2017 and underwent 11...I said ELEVEN rounds of chemo and treatments. He lost his battle in October of the same year. What a warrior. Brent on the other hand didn’t have Crohn’s and survived his cancer twice. The ironic thing? Both Ben and Brent had the same incredible will to live and find a cure so nobody else had to go through the same experience. These two vivacious dudes, almost 15 years apart in age, same goal, same adventurous and giving type soul and same cause of death: kidney failure. Ben used to tell his mom that he wanted to come out east to snowboard with Brent. When Josh broke the news to the Carve Crew last October about Ben, there was such a heaviness on our conference call.  We hope to work together in the near future for our two warriors.

After a few tears had been shed and we said goodbye to our new friends, we made our way to the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle to a brewery called Stoup. This part of the city was mainly residential but absolutely STACKED with breweries. After we got in line to order a round of drinks I realized Brent had been here and had stickers from the brewery. So naturally, I tagged it.

We had a couple of rounds out on the sun drenched deck which was packed. Josh and Hannah had two friends swing through with their newborn named Olive. Excuse me while I swoon at that name for a little babe all over again. But as the sun began to set we decided to rent bikes and head to dinner. Side note: They have something similar to the bike share program here in Philly. Except you can literally leave your bike anywhere when you’re done riding. ZERO docking stations. Philly Craiglist would have a field day if we didn’t have docking stations.

We rode to a spot that was recommended by a couple of people, The Walrus and the Carpenter. How was it? We still don’t know. After we walked through the door Josh realized his wallet was missing. In a panic, we sprinted back outside and across the street. No wallet, but he did leave his iPhone clipped to the bike. (insert face palm, here) Again, if this were in Philly...it’d be gone. We rented the bikes once more and retraced our route, stopping in at breweries along the way in hopes somebody may have turned it in. But no luck. We get back to Stoup. No luck. We go to retrace the route BACK to the restaurant again. As soon as we start doing so, a girl messaged the Carve 4 Cancer Facebook message saying she has his wallet and was at Lucky Envelope Brewing. How fitting. We get there and I’m exhausted. My adrenaline was pumping so hard and I felt so badly for Josh that I exhausted myself. He got his wallet back, bought a round for the girl and her friends and we sat down. Then Hannah looked at me, “Oh my God. Where’s my wallet?!” I looked at her, “You have GOT to be kidding me.” The two of us sprint outside to look around the bikes. No luck. Come back inside. Her wallet was on the floor under the table. Immediately, I look at everyone sipping our drinks, “Everyone give me your wallets, passports or whatever else is important on you.” Everything was confiscated and kept in my backpack for the remainder of the night.

We were tired and exhausted. Wallet girl told us about an incredible (Northern) Thai joint not far from where we were located. Incredible was an understatement. The place was called Pestle Rock. If you like spice, this place is your jawn. I cannot describe what we ate or anything to do this place any sort of justice. But just know that if you’re in Seattle - this place is pretty much a must.

The next day before Josh and Hannah hit the road to the airport to make their way back to the City of Brotherly Love we wandered around one last time together. What did we stumble upon? The Starbucks Reserve Roastery. Here they offer their “finest” limited and exclusive coffees and craft everything from sandwiches to espresso drinks to mixology-inspired cocktails. Additionally, they have an entire cafe with a full menu, three bars and quite the merchandise selection. Also, I don’t know why Josh posed like that for the photo below. He’s just always so professional.

While Chris and I had the rest of the day together before he flew out the following morning, Tuesday, and I planned to rent a car and make my way to Oregon, we wanted to revisit some places. We rented bikes, rode back down to center city, walked around, shopped for gifts for loved ones back home, I picked up some post cards (I LOVE sending and receiving them), and we decided to grab a beer for happy hour before dinner. We ended up at Old Stove Brewing Company for some brother sister bonding time over a flight of beers and ciders.

After we decided we should probably have dinner and head back to the place for a somewhat early night we realized Pinebox was open. The four of us ended up walking past this place probably a dozen times but it either wasn’t open or we didn’t have time to stop in. 

Pinebox is located in a massive colonial-style building of vaulted ceilings and leaded glass windows which were once the new expansion of E.R. Butterworth & Sons Family Funeral Business which dates back to 1923.The main interior of the building served as a chapel, seating over 350 mourners, and included a pipe organ which is still there across from a choir loft located above where you enter the bar. The bar itself and most of tables are built from reclaimed oak coffin cabinets once housed in their basement where the “processing” happened. HOW COOL AND CREEPYILY WEIRD IS THAT? According to their website...

“The ceramic block marked 33 located between our draft screens was part of the original urn storage. As noted by local historian Clarence Bagley in 1929, this was the first business to offer the city “comprehensive death-related services from corpse retrieval to coffin sales.” On July 31, 1973 Butterworth & Sons provided these services to the family and loved ones of Bruce Lee. Among his pallbearers were Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Chuck Norris, and Lee’s Brother Robert.”

The food wasn’t anything to write home about but they had a legit selection of beer. Earlier in our trip, Josh had me tag a lamp post right outside of the establishment...because obviously, the place was always closed.

Again, Seattle was an incredibly underrated trip and such an easy place to tag for Brent. I’m so glad I was able to experience it with some amazing people and had the opportunity to meet even more quality human beings. Thank you to everyone that was a part of it.

Photo Credit: Chris, Josh, Hannah, Tony and Amanda

[livelikebrent]

Stop 7: Winter Park + Boulder, Colorado

Have you ever broken somebody’s heart? Maybe it was with a significant other and ended things. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of it...it’s an awful feeling, isn’t it? Have you ever had to do it one dozen times in the span of maybe an hour? I remember shaking and trying to clear my throat as I dialed, Amanda, Danny, Amy, Adam, Josh, Brendan, John, Ryan...this list continues. I don’t even know how I knew who to call, or who I probably should’ve called but my mind had turned into liquid. Amanda had been texting Brent a day or two prior and had a bad feeling when he didn’t answer the text messages. She texted me earlier in the morning asking if everything was okay. I think I started these phone calls somewhere around 11am and 12noon on Saturday, July 15th. I just remember how quiet or how short some people were (not in a bad way by any means) when they spoke to me. I think it was shock, taking in the information and not knowing what to do with it. Others instantly started crying or tried so hard to hold back tears as they asked me to explain. I tried to explain as soon as I broke the news so they didn’t even have to wonder. I tried to explain that he was already heavily medicated and asleep so he didn’t know what had happened. I remember calling Josh as he and Hannah were driving to his sibling’s house. Hannah started screaming. I remember Adam driving, Danny and Dana sitting on their couch getting ready to leave for vacation later in the day. Danny said he knew as soon as he saw my name come up on their phone that something wasn’t right. Some didn’t even have my number at that point and didn’t know who was speaking to them initially but quickly learned.  But to break the hearts of some of Brent’s best and my dearest friends from the last few years...broke my heart even more that it already was that morning.

I talk about these people a lot. I talk about how grateful I am to have them still in my life. I’m about to talk about them some more on how a few joined me on my 7th stop on Tour de Brent: Colorado. I’ll say it again and again...I’m so happy and grateful that they joined me on this trip. One of the first places Brent and I had on our bucket list was snowboarding in Colorado. Brent knew I loved camping and hiking the Adirondack mountains in New York. He also knew I’d never been out west. So he wanted to take me snowboarding in Colorado, explore Boulder and to meet a close WVU friend of his, Lindgren.

Six of us met bright eyed and bushy tailed at the Philadelphia International Airport around 7am on Friday, February 9th. Skis, snowboards and bags had been checked, coffee in hand along with eagerness to depart from the City of Brotherly Love. While the crew was eager to shred some serious mountains, I was eager to finally meet Lindgren. Since I had several hours to kill on the flight, my mind wandered and remembered Brent taking calls from Lindgren. Or just chatting about him and his now wife, Nicole. I remember their save the date on his refrigerator right until we cleaned out the apartment. The first time I had ever contacted Lindgren was on July 24th with an apology. I apologized for not being able to make the wedding with Brent. But what I really ended up apologizing for was how sorry I was that Brent never had to the opportunity to introduce us. I also explained I had planned on still making it out to Colorado to check it off of the list for Brent. I heard back from Lindgren the next day and I just remember how nice it was to hear him say, “...I honestly feel like I know you, from all of the pictures of you and Brent on FB, to all the wonderful things he told me about you. So, in a way, we’ve already been introduced, and I consider you a friend.”  I think the people one surrounds themselves with speaks volumes about that individual. The people that were current in Brent’s life have been some of the nicest and raddest people I have met. Lindgren quickly made the list of friends I am grateful for today.

We landed in Denver and I had previously asked Lindgren for suggestions on lunch. He told us to check out Vine Street Pub while still in Denver and that it was a solid spot for a burger and was Stout Month there. I smiled as we approached the establishment. The place we were about to enter is one of the Mountain Sun locations. I think we all know that Brent LOVED stickers. After he had passed, I sifted through his collection...some were recent finds and some extremely old. He had a ton of Mountain Sun stickers. I recognized the logo as soon as I saw it entering the pub. We ordered a round of drinks, lunch and checked the weather. Snow was in the forecast for Saturday which was ideal as that was going to be our first day out on the mountain. I knew I wanted to place a sticker at this location and as I was walking back to my seat from the bathroom, what do you know? They had just a small section of a wall FILLED with stickers. After we paid our bill, I found our waitress with two other employees and explained why we were there from Philadelphia and asked if I could slap a sticker up. Her response was, “OF COURSE! We have stickers for you too!!” She gave me a reel of the same stickers Brent had. Then we found a place on their wall.

We jumped in our cars and made our way out to our Airbnb in Fraser, Colorado. Fraser is just north of Winter Park where we planned on spending our entire Saturday. With all of our gear and crew in tow, Brendan and I made our way through the mountains, around the mountains and then up the mountains. It was so beautiful. The brief video clip below doesn’t even do justice as we got closer to the mountain range.

Oh. Did you know that elevation sickness is actually a real thing? I will have to say that I had been warned. But as we climbed to over 9,000 feet in elevation to the towns...so did my stomach. I pounded waters to keep myself hydrated. Then by the time we went grocery shopping (conveniently located at the bottom of the hill from where we were staying), my feet started to cramp up. Thankfully, I got over it after a while. We settled into our ski themed Airbnb, made ourselves right at home and ordered pizza (including my fave, Hawaiian).

The answer to your question is yes. The place looked just like it does in the photos above from Airbnb. Believe me, I’ve been to Airbnbs where I’ve walked in and I had to double check the address because it looked nothing like it did in the photos. But you can view more photos and the entire place here! I don’t think we were there for even twenty minutes when we started posing on the faux bear rug in front of the fireplace. It was just such a cozy place for the weekend. But we were pretty tired from traveling and knew we had a long day ahead of us so we laid low for the first evening. Josh and his girl, Katrina came out to the place to hang for a smidge and say hi. I’ve met Josh a handful of times. The first time I met him was two years ago at Carve 4 Cancer. He flew in for the event and busted his knee on his first run of the day. Classic. He was one of the friends that came and visited with Brent when he was sick..which truly raised his spirits.

Josh showed up for Brent’s wake, the funeral and Carve again in 2018. As hysterically funny as he is and a joy to be around, he was genuinely a good friend of Brent’s. I asked Josh how he met Brent. He honestly didn’t know and felt like they just had always been buds since school. Brent would talk about Josh a lot and how Josh’s mom would take them out of school early, throw them in the car and drive up to Vermont to hit the mountains all of the time. I think I’ve heard that about half a dozen times from Brent.

The next day we got up, ate breakfast and realized it had been dumping and dumping and dumping snow overnight...and it wasn’t stopping any time soon. So we made a pot of coffee, breakfast, geared up and made our way over to Mary Jane Pass. To be quite frank the only downside to all of the snow was that it was snowing so much that we could hardly even see the mountains that were surrounding us and off in the distance. Honestly, it was fine though...we were so excited to be skiing and snowboarding in a storm on fresh powder. Cars filled the lots and lined the long, winding drive up to the base of the mountain. I think I heard, “NO FRIENDS ON POW DAYS!” Probably a dozen times in lift lines, on the mountains and in the lodge.

The snow was awesome. The trails took longer than 45 second to bomb down and you weren’t on top of one another for how busy the mountain was either. At this point, I started to understand why Brent wanted to take me out west to snowboard so badly. The snow was soft, there was hardly any ice if any at all, you could hop off the trail and wind your way through the trees and even though it was a pow day...you were on the mountain with some of the best people waiting for you around the next turn. We took a break for lunch at the lodge about half way through the day, hit the mountain for a couple more runs and then made our way back to the car and ultimately to the Airbnb. 

The boys made a mouth watering dinner for everyone. While we were in the super market the day prior, they found surf and turf packages for basically $10 a person. I SAID TEN DOLLARS. It most definitely didn’t taste like a $10 meal either. Lobster tails, steak, brussel sprouts, cocktails and beer. 

After dinner, we cleaned up and decided to check out some of the local spots in Winter Park and ended up at Idlewild Spirits Distillery.

It is a distillery pub nestled in the basement of a strip mall on the main drag of Winter Park. There’s a bar and plenty of seating in the main room of the establishment. We sat in the back room with rows and rows of barrels of their liquor. It was pretty cool. Each barrel had the type of liquor and the date. It had a rustic yet industrial feel to the place. Caitlin had suggested the place since she is one who greatly appreciates a fine cocktail. Sidenote, the first time I met Caitlin and Adam...they took Brent and I to a place in Manayunk, The Goats Beard, for cocktails. So we ordered a round of cocktails, “snacks” and hung out for a while recapping on our first day and plans for the remainder of the trip. As we wrapped up and paid the check, our waiter suggested to check out a little bar called The Basement. Are we picking up on a theme here yet? Apparently, Winter Park doesn’t stay open terribly later. But this little hole in the wall did...and we didn’t mind going to a local’s bar. Brent would’ve liked it. Skateboard decks hung above the counter with beers available. You felt like you were in the basement of your friend’s house back in high school and you were waiting for the crowd to show up to start the party. There were video games, a couple of tvs, an area for a DJ or band and some arcade games. A couple of guys were sitting at the bar still in their snowboarding gear with a pie of pizza they probably carried in themselves. It was a place where you went for a cheap après ski.

As drastically different as these two spots were, Brent would’ve thoroughly enjoyed them. We ordered a couple of Rolling Rocks for $3 each. I SAID THREE DOLLARS. It most definitely tasted like a $3 beer. As we sipped our drinks, Caitlin was passing out at the table from the long day for shredding the gnar. I think half of us made Ryan slug back our beers before we made our way back to the place and called it a night.

Sunday rolled around. Josh took Ryan out back country skiing, Caitlin and Adam hit up Grandby Ranch Resort to get a couple more turns in, and Brendan, Koren and I wanted to check out the town for the day and explore after we already arrived at Grandby. (Whoops!) As the three of us were driving out of the resort, I saw a small hill with a gazebo on top. I figured it had a pretty cool view of the ranch below and mountains that surrounded us. So we parked the car and went to walk up the hill. This turned into THE MOST tiring task of the weekend. We should not have been as winded as we were walking up this hill...mind you that we weren’t used to the elevation but it was embarrassing how bad we were sucking wind once we got to the top. I think I had to take a breather for about 5 minutes before I could even think about taking photos. But below us sat the ranch, cattle, and these adorable craftsman houses that sat on the mountain side. (Que ‘Weeds’ theme song here).

We hit up an antique store we saw along the way, stopped at Cooper Creek Square to buy stickers, shirts and gifts. The shops were cute. I think Koren bought a gift for about everyone in her entire life. Brendan bought gifts for his niece and nephew. We decided to find something to eat and right across the street was a place called The Ditch on 40. It ruled. It was a small spot on the second floor of a strip of stores. (Actually a spot not in a basement!) It had a deck which I’m sure gets packed on a mild blue bird day. The place described itself as “A family-run, roadside bar and grill, where it's all about the red and green... chile, that is.  We start from scratch! Using only chile from Hatch, NM.  We serve great burgers, tasty sandwiches, authentic New Mexican food and the best margaritas in town!” I’m sorry, but did you know that Colorado is known chile peppers? Well, it kinda is. If you want to read up about it and the great green chile debate between Colorado and New Mexico, click here! But I digress, it had a locals vibe to it with license plates on the walls along with ski trail signs from Winter Park’s trails, skis and snowboards hanging on racks from the ceilings. We figured the place got rowdy at night and was probably a pretty solid time with the après ski crowd. We shared some sliders, tacos and had a round of drinks. I do need to point out the beer that Koren ordered though. It was an oak aged sour stout with cranberries named Blucifer from Odd13 Brewing. Blucifer is the demon horse of the Denver Airport ...it is a bright blue mustang standing at 32 feet tall and 9,000 pounds with glowing red eyes. I am not joking. Although the Blucifer beer sounds odd for a stout to be sour - it was mighty delish. Also, we need to note the artwork on the can quickly...and yes, that’s Santa’s sleigh.

As soon as we had walked in the door I knew I wanted to place a sticker there for Brent. This was most certainly a place I could picture him after spending a day out on the mountain together. As soon as I asked one of the waiters he immediately said, “Yes! Of course!” and he had the same reaction when I asked if he wouldn’t mind capturing the placement in a photograph for me. There was a perfect spot, dead smack in the center of the mirror behind the bar.

After lunch, the three of us made our way back to Mary Jane’s Pass to check out the gift shop in the lodge. Apparently, this portion of Winter Park is the most difficult and it’s where we started and ended our first day out on the mountains. So Brendan and I bought a handful of stickers and Koren bought more gifts. I need to figure out how to get on her gift list. After lunch, we made a pit stop so Koren could get her ice cream fix and made our way back to the house. I tried to capture more of the mountains and the trees that were lightly coated in fresh snow...but, these photos don’t do any justice. There was so much texture.

When we got back, Caitlin and Adam were right behind us followed by Ryan and Josh who found the local Irish Pub (shocker. not.). We hung around, Ryan showed off the photo that Josh took of him and we had a couple of drinks and hot teas.

Eventually, we got ready and made ourselves presentable for a nice dinner out in the town at Deno’s Mountain Bistro. We snagged some seating by the bar as we waited for a table. This place had everything from wings to a steak dinner and a wine list that was 16 pages long. SIXTEEN! We had ordered everything from biratta, steaks, poke bowls, wings and pasta. Ryan was in his prime that night and Josh had us all laughing so hard during the entire meal.

The next day we packed up and left Fraser/Winter Park and started to make our way towards our next destination, Boulder. On the way, we stopped at Arapahoe Basin. It was another gorgeous ride up and through the mountains. We drove through Loveland Pass and the Continental Divide which was stunning. Koren and I had no shame in asking Brendan to pull the car over (more than once) to take photos.

We got to the parking lot and started to gear up for the day when I noticed Arapahoe’s logo. It’s the letter “A” with a design around it. I had seen it a dozen times in Brent’s sticker collection. Even when I visited Drew and Amanda in Syracuse, I remember looking through the collection with Drew and asking what logo or brand it was and he had no idea. Well, apparently this was a fave mountain of Brent’s and here we were about to spend the day shredding there.

Now THIS is what I envisioned snowboarding in Colorado to look like. Mountains were EVERYWHERE. Winter Park was a great time and all but if you told me I was at a ski resort in update New York on that mountain, I’d believe you. But the setting at A-Basin was just absolutely incredible. We were surrounded by high peaks near by, mountains in the distance and tons of trees.

I think every time we were on the lift up the mountain I said something along the lines of, “I can’t get over how beautiful this is!” THIS was when I completely understood what Brent wanted me to experience. I just knew it. THIS was where he would’ve taken me (or Breckenridge - next time!) to tear up a mountain together. An old colleague of mine went hiking in Yosemite National Park last year. I remember her posting a photo of her with in front of a stunning backdrop and the caption reading, “Sometimes it’s good to feel small.” That is 100% true and that’s how I felt riding the lift when we got to the top of the mountain at the Montezuma bowl. But right as we got off of the lift for our first run of the day, there was a work bench for binding adjustments next to the map of the mountain. It happened to be covered in stickers. I couldn’t think of a better mountain to place a #LiveLikeBrent sticker.

I know this is an obvious statement but the mountains were so big! There are so many trails and options! It was an amazing time. At one point, Koren and Caitlin found an alpine trail on the mountain called Moose Hollow. They took a photo for me knowing that moose are my favorite animal and that I’d do anything to see one in person. So the next trip up the mountain they took me through the trees on this trail. Mind you, I never take these trails because it’s a bit more difficult if you’re on a board. It’s even more difficult if you get stuck. Never mind that, it’s freaking EXHAUSTING if you fall and need to get yourself up. If you’re on skis you at least have both feet and two poles to help get back up. We went down this trail twice, I hopped over one of the divets successfully the first time. But there was one slight jump I couldn’t get over and lost speed both times.  I honestly had to lay there and give myself a minute after trying to get myself up the first time.

After a stellar day on the mountain, we packed up and made our way to our Airbnb in Boulder so we could get ready for dinner with Lindgren. This place was adorable as well. You can view more photos and the place we stayed here!

Lindgren asked where we wanted to get dinner and I requested any place that he would take Brent if he were in town visiting again. He suggested a Nepal/Tibetan/Indian spot called Sherpa’s Adventure Restaurant & Bar. It’s a restaurant that is in an old Victorian home...so yes, you felt like you were dining in somebody’s home. It was so great to finally meet Lindgren. I asked him how he met Brent. He said one time he was eating dinner at WVU and this shaggy, bleached, long haired, guy came over and sat down with him at the table. Lindgren said, “He just started talking to me and kept going. Somehow we got on the topic of snowboarding and he was SO passionate about it. At the time, I hadn’t had a lot of experience on the mountain. But we somehow just became immediate friends. He kept going on and on.” Ah yes the gift of gab, a gift given I’m sure by his father, was one of Brent’s best qualities. Shortly before Brent went in for his stem-cell transplant, he came to a wedding with me to celebrate my friends, Bit and Asad. I was parking my car for the wedding and feeding the meter as Brent went inside the beach bar of the hotel to get more quarters. I noticed he took a long time. It turns out it was because he was chatting up one of my college friends at the bar, Joe. When I went inside, Joe, looked at me and exclaimed, “AIS!!! DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY? He walked in and now all of a sudden we’re like BEST buds.”

After Brent passed Joe wrote, “Been thinking of you and Brent so much the past few days. I've never been so inspired by the spirit and fun vibe of a person after hanging out just one time with him. Just wanted to share these fun shots. So glad I got to spend that night with you two. Love you Ais.”  That’s the kind of guy Brent was though. He met Joe once. He spent maybe a total of 8 hours with him. Like Lindgren said - that’s all it took.

Anyway, I digress! Lindgren became one of Brent’s close friends from WVU and described him as his only “frat friend.” Lindgren said one time he was at his fraternity house and he received a phone call from Brent. Brent said, “Are you home?” Lindgren told him he was and Brent continued, “Go outside RIGHT NOW!” Lindgren was hesitant but went outside. Brent and his friend Tony were throwing giant tires down the hill Lindgren lived on and wreaking havoc. Remember at Brent’s funeral when the priest joked he wasn’t a Saint? Case and point.

As we ate dinner (which was top-notch), Lindgren also shared one of his proudest moments with Brent. Brent flew in to visit with Lindgren with the obvious goal to go snowboarding. Lindgren said he told Brent that they’d be snowboarding Vail that day with one of his friends. Cool, right? Lindgren also added in that they would be snowboarding with Owen Schmitt. Ha! He was a football player at West Virginia and had moved onto the NFL after college. I’d say that’s a pretty solid proud moment. Lindgren’s bud went to high school with Schmitt who still clearly hung out. I do vaguely remember Brent telling me about this and he somehow got Schmitt’s phone number...he made up and excuse when he asked for it like “Just in case we get separated on the mountain.” Brent then added him on Snapchat and I’m pretty sure vice versa. What a Brent move.

As we were finishing our meal, Lindgren suggested a place to check out next he liked called The Sundown Saloon. It had a cool name, so we were down for it. Nicole, Lindgren’s wife, showed up as we were paying the check and met everyone. When she heard where we were going for drinks she looked at Lindgren with concern and said, “You’re taking them there???” We asked what was wrong with it and she described it as a hole in the wall dive bar. I remember saying, “But...that’s our kind of place.” It really was. But before we left, Lindgren and Nicole chatted with the owner. I’d say they’re pretty darn close to being regulars. Then we took a quick group photo. Again, it looked and felt like we were in somebody’s house for supper.

As we approached the doors...guess where it was located? Yes, in another basement. The Sundown Saloon is tucked underneath the walking mall that is Boulder’s Pearl Street. I decided to place a sticker here because it was a place that Lindgren would’ve taken Brent. After being inside it was like Murphy’s back in East Falls with Billards. I’m NOT calling Murphy’s a hole in the wall dive bar, mind you. There was a lot of wood going on, a fun crowd, and photos on some of the walls like Mike has up.

We walked in and there was a juke box, dart board, foosball and shuffleboard table, a handful of pool tables, Christmas lights that covered most of the ceiling, and plenty of cheap beer and whisky. If I lived in Boulder, this would certainly become a regular spot for a drink or two with a crew. We pushed together a bunch of tables, watched Shaun White slay the Olympics, drank and chatted. Then, who shows up? Josh and Katrina. Josh definitely spoiled us with his presence that weekend. As we sat there, some a little more buzzed than others, Caitlin looked at me across the table and smiled, “Looking around this circle makes me really happy. Brent brought us together.” It was true. Who travels across the United States to meet a stranger and his wife? We did because Brent only surrounded himself with the most amazing people. I’ve learned many things over the last year and one of them is that the people you surround yourself with are a reflection of who you are as a person. I think that’s important to think about. If you sit back and think about the people in your life, who are they? How do they act? Are they some of the funniest people you know? Maybe they are the most thoughtful and caring. Or maybe they simply inspire you. I’ve decided to continue to surround myself with people that make me happy and that want to be in my life. What I do know is that as you get older your circle of friends tend to get smaller. But mine has only been expanding and I’m extremely thankful for it and everyone that has become a part of my life.

We said our goodbyes, I gave Lindgren one of Brent’s beanies he wore in the hospital all of the time, Never Summer. The company is based out of Colorado so I figured it was fitting. We didn’t talk about what happened to Brent. But Lindgren did look at me and say, “I’m just so glad he had you for the time that he did and everything he went through.” He started to get tears in his eyes and these are the types of things that make me cry...Seeing any of Brent’s friends hurt or upset about what happened. He continued to say things that were truly touching to hear. I hugged him a couple of times and told him I was so glad to have finally meet him.

P.S. Nicole SLAYS in foosball. Don’t let her fool you.

Photo Credit: Airbnb, Caitlin, Koren, Brendan, Josh, Joe, Odd13 Brewing

[livelikebrent]

5th Annual Carve 4 Cancer Winter Sports & Music Festival

“And here you are living despite it all.” I’ve read this quote by Rupi Kaur (I adore her words) dozens of times since Brent has passed. Despite everything that has happened, here I am. Here YOU are. Living, carrying on and still standing. When Brent passed away last July, Carve 4 Cancer was the last thing I wanted to think about or put my energy towards. Honestly, I didn’t have much to begin with and I didn’t want to have any additional responsibilities. I was worried. I was worried how Brent’s family, friends and loved ones were. It was natural to shift my emotions and concerns from Brent to these people that were so close to him. I decided to put the energy I did have towards traveling and writing to help with my grieving process. But despite it all, the Carve Crew carried on. The tragic event gave the team inspiration to help ignite #LiveLikeBrent and start the planning process for Brent’s biggest and best winter festival to date. This isn’t a traditional blog entry from a Live Like Brent trip...but it’s still a worthy post.

It was probably around mid-October when I finally came to and was ready for the conference calls, email chains, text messages and solicitation for the February 3rd event. But in the mean time I met with the Crew and we visited Blue Mountain Ski Resort which has become our new home and part of the family. 

After visiting Blue we became inspired. The venue was a complete upgrade compared to our previous years, the staff was giving us an overwhelming amount of support when it was only September. While it was extremely saddening to not have Brent present, I think it’s safe to say that we were all grateful to have one another going into the 5th year for this event and we were going to put our heart and soul into it.

Weeks leading up to the event I think I felt almost every emotion possible. I’d find myself beyond upset that at 28 going on 29 years old I found myself honoring a boyfriend that was no longer on this Earth. No one should ever have to do that. No mother or father should have to bury their son. I relived the last week, days and hours in the hospital I spent with Brent. I found myself angry at times and reminded myself patience is a virtue. I just wanted it to be a perfect and exciting day for Brent’s family, friends and people that would encounter Carve 4 Cancer for the first time. I found myself anxious. I would catch myself in these emotions and try to check myself. I found myself excited looking forward to seeing everyone, to release the new merch and have the event at the new venue. I was stressed and probably any other emotion you could think of to add to the list too. Some people would say, “That’s what putting an event on is like, it’s stressful.” Yes and no. I’ve been planning events professionally for 8 years now and I’m one of the calmest event planners you will meet. I’ve been told by previous bosses that they’ve never seen me lose my cool or physically show stress - especially day of an event. One boss even told me she wanted to see me lose my cool. Sure, some of you may have lost me in a conversation on an event day as I have a thousand thoughts flying through my head like a sponsor I need to check on, or thank a donor for attending, or adjust the placement of an auction item...but I’ve never broken down. But having had this all happen and having this team along side of me has also been helpful. We’re made up of event planners, snowboarders familiar with the scene, handymen and friends that will help wherever it is needed.

I took the Friday off before the event and checked into the rental for the weekend. I wanted to get a day of snowboarding in with a trip to Colorado the following weekend. Plus, we set-up the evening prior. I had not been on my board since winter of 2016 when Brent was somewhat well enough to carve down the mountain. The winter of 2017 was the ONLY ski season he had missed. I know that upset him. But the house we stayed in was awesome with a view of the mountain, hot tub and right around the corner from Blue. Brent and I never snowboarded on Carve 4 Cancer weekends. By the time we got to the mountain to set-up we were exhausted, woke up the next day for the event and then always intended on snowboarding the day after...but always just wanted to go home and relax by that point.

Brent always wanted to help others...in any way, shape or form. I think everyone knows that and that impacted a lot of individuals. When we started planning the 2018 Winter Festival, I started receiving texts, Facebook messages and phone calls on how Brent’s friends could help. Some felt so compelled to get involved...Adam joined the team and created wooden awards for the mountain, Brendan wanted to create the day of event poster and refurbished an old chair lift , Matt offered to have his band, Fake Flowers Real Dirt, perform at the event (they ROCKED it by the way) and our Ambassador program gained several new members. Everyone wanted to help - Brent always wanted more friends to become hands on...I’m glad several decided to because they made the event that much better.

Day of the event Brent would be off shaking hands, kissing babies, interviewing and stopping by the sponsor booths to thank them while I’d be wondering around the event, troubleshooting where needed, checking on raffles/volunteers and trying to capture the day when I could. It was rare that we were together. And if we were together, he was introducing me to dozens of people. But I always made sure we could snap a photo together...

Carve 4 Cancer 2015 - 372 days before re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2016 - 6 days before re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2017 - 358 days after re-diagnosis

Carve 4 Cancer 2018 - Day 203 without Brent

I was never one to really take a lot of photos. Sure, every once in a while. But ever since Brent got sick we started taking more together. I don’t know how I feel about that. I think it’s a realization I (maybe we) had...memories are wonderful but it’s nice to look back at a photo you may have forgotten about. As technology advances people aren’t “living in the moment” and are staring at their screens. But I think there’s a balance you can find.

Last year’s, 2017 winter festival was a tough one for Brent. I can’t help but look back and reflect on that event now a year later. We had JUST made it back to from being in New York City for about 5 months to Philadelphia. He so badly wanted to make it back home to be at Carve. He was in an immense amount of pain that day, completely wiped, he was highly embarrassed that he needed to use the bathroom so frequently and more so that he couldn’t control his bowel due to his graft versus host disease. He wanted to party with everyone but knew he couldn’t because his body simply wouldn’t allow him to. Regardless, he muscled through it as much as he could. He did that a lot. I don’t think many people realized how much pain he was in or how exhausted he actually was...that’s because he pushed himself to do so damn much. You’d see him and think, “Well, he made it out here and he’s doing XYZ so he must be doing okay or on the upswing.” When you call Brent a “warrior” or “brave”...you really have no idea. I don’t think there’s a word yet for what Brent was because he was so much more than that.

Did I think that was going to be Brent’s last Carve 4 Cancer? No way. When his roommate, Ryan, and I carried him down his apartment staircase on July 5, 2017. He asked me, “Ais, am I dying?” I told him, “No way. You’re going to be fine.” When taking a step back and looking at it...We all knew it was bad. We all knew it was scary. I mean, it was goddamn CANCER. But we all thought it would all be “okay.”

We were all busy little bees the day of the event on Saturday. This year I found myself taking Brent’s place in where I was the one catching up with his family, family friends, people introducing themselves to me, taking interviews while also troubleshooting here and there with the team. 

Photo by Noche Studio

“He would’ve loved the event.” and “He’s so proud of all of you.” are comments we’ve been receiving over and over again. It’s downright sad. It’s bitter sweet. But it’s humbling as all hell to see the love, support and hard work pay off.  I’m confident in those words and will give my entire team an ego boost by saying this was the best damn Carve 4 Cancer event we’ve had...not only in fundraising dollars, but aesthetically, musically (check out Lawrence who blew the roof off of the Vista Ballroom) and everything in between. I mean, we had a beer named after Brent with Yards called Uncle Brent’s Brew! We had Murf Meyer as our emcee! We are a 501c3 non-profit and this year we were as professional as a snowboard/ski charity could be. Not to mention we were published in Method Snowboarding Magazine...

If you didn’t make it out to the 2018 Carve 4 Cancer Winter Sports and Music Festival, I hope we will get to see you next year. Without Brent, I do understand it’s not the same. But you’re support is so appreciated by myself, the Carve Crew and the Evans family. We’re excited to continue to expand Carve and raise funds for the mission. But shredding blood cancers starts with you.

[livelikebrent]

Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift...

The answer is: Yes, the title of this post is more or less a Kodak Black lyric. It was made into a very pretty, visually pleasing inspirational quote image I saw on social media, I took note of it for later use and here I am realizing it wasn’t made up by some super unique female author. But nevertheless, it’s true. So this blog post isn’t about a recent trip. But rather the holiday season and Brent not being here for it. It’s something I want to write about.

Some of you are reading this because you knew Brent, you snowboarded together or you grew up together. Some of you reading have never met Brent but heard about what a great guy he was...and I couldn’t be happier that he had an impact on you. While he didn’t know everybody, he sure knew a good chunk of the population. I couldn't tell you the last time he introduced me to someone, meaning only one person and that's where it ended. It was never, "Hey Ais, meet TJ." No, no. It was, "Hey Ais, meet TJ... OH and his wife Leslie. Oh and there are our friends Brandin and his wife Jaque, who is Buck and Tank's vet and then this is Maura who is engaged to Tom and is BFF with Caitlin. Not Tom though, Maura is BFFs with Caitlin and Tom is BFF with Josh. You met Josh when we went to dinner with him and Hannah...” AND IT WOULD GO ON. That’s not exactly how I met those individuals but just roll with the example. I've probably met the amount of people I was originally supposed to meet in my entire lifetime in the first year of dating Brent. It’s incredible. But, I digress. Here we are today regardless if I've been introduced to you (yet) or not. Sometimes, Brent would have friends in the same room as mine and there would be overlap without us even realizing it. Brent was all about bringing people together in one way or another. I think we can all agree that he was good at that.

This December I decided to bring together the Philly/Wilkes-Barre-ish crew to start a new tradition: Friendsmas. This year has been a roller coaster and wanted us all together during the holiday season. Out of the 15 people in this photo below (baby Fiona is running around and Josh doesn’t know how to handle the selfie stick) Brent introduced me to 12. That’s one dozen people that I wouldn’t have in my life right now if it wasn’t for Brent. That’s just the tip of the iceberg too. (Mind you there are some people missing from this photo that still play a vital role in my life today.) I’m extremely grateful for this bunch that I’ve become friends with and want me in their lives even after Brent being gone. We tried to get a group picture. But taking photos that night was not our strong suit and the kitchen may have filled with smoke due to the burning butter in Adam’s (delish) popovers...but the company and spread was pretty close to perfection. I hope this group of wonderful people grows and the tradition continues...because I think we need that. 

I think it’s very easy to harp on the loss and what we no longer have during a time like this. During a time of year like this. It’s inevitable to be quite honest. But I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves with what we do have and cherish it regardless. That is what I’ve been trying to do and how I’ve been trying to handle myself the last 5 months. But recently, I found myself lying in bed one evening trying to go to sleep but couldn’t stop thinking about Brent. As the tears welled up and I started to cry my phone rang instantly. It was Fletcher, a Carve 4 Cancer member and friend, calling me from his hotel room in Montreal to chat about Carve. Coincidence? Probably. But I like to think not. I think we’ve all shared plenty of tears and there are certainly more to come...but again, take the time to look around and think about what we have and what Brent did for us. Brent brought Fletcher into my life. Fletcher, a blood cancer survivor, joined the Carve 4 Cancer team almost two years ago. When Brent was re-diagnosed, Fletcher would call me, text me, he’d let me know him and his wife (who had been HIS caretaker) were always there to talk. But that night Fletcher called and we chatted for almost two hours about the non-profit and the future of it. He didn’t know I was upset and that his call was cheering me up or that I was in bed trying to fall asleep. But I was grateful for the conversation (even if most of it was pure business) at such an odd time.

Pictured below is another group of loved ones brought together. But this time, the tables have turned and I had introduced Brent to 20+ people all in one sitting. This is my Boston College Family. “But you didn’t go to B.C.” I know, I’m well aware. My father and brother did though! My Dad did it right. What I mean by that is he stayed friends with his (6? Am I missing anybody?) college buds that he lived with in Mod32A on campus. Then when they all graduated, went off and got married, they continued to stay friends, then when they had children, we all became friends...more like family, really. Years ago, we used to get together in the summers up in Scituate, Mass. for long weekends and playing with lobsters on the deck before cooking them, winters in New Jersey cutting down our Christmas trees together and random get togethers in between. But as we grew older and schedules became a bit more crazy we took a break from organized mass gatherings. But over the last several years, we started to get together again for tree cutting season and pumpkin picking for Oktobersfest! This crew grew from the B.C. boys, to married couples, to families and then to families with significant others and we now have our first official B.C. baby, my niece Madison Grace. It’s absolutely wonderful how much it has evolved over the years and how much of a riot we all have together. But two years ago, Brent was invited to the annual B.C. Tree Cutting Party in 2015. The weather was unseasonably warm that year and I was excited to introduce Brent to my extended family for the first time. It’s needless to say, he fully embraced them as they did him.

This specific B.C. gathering begins at my parent’s humble abode in New Jersey where everyone meets up in the early afternoon. Then we caravan to the tree farm, find our Christmas trees, chop those puppies down, stop in the barn on the farm to buy ornaments, beeswax candle sticks, grab some coco or coffee, take our annual group farm photo and eventually make our way back to the house. Then the day continues with endless food, drinks, games, white elephant gift exchange and catching up into the evening and early hours of the morning. Every bed, every room, and most of the floor space is filled with bodies and air mattresses. When morning rolls around, the food and coffee is once again never ending before everyone packs up and makes their way back home whether it’s to Orlando, Ocean City or Philadelphia. Sadly, that was the only mass Boston College gathering Brent was able to attend. BUT he did see this B.C. crew for random and smaller gatherings here and there. He absolutely loved it.

When the B.C. family heard the news this past July, everyone felt an immense loss. How could you not? It was Brent. Mind you, some of these people only met Brent once and traveled all of the way from Scituate to attend his funeral. Now that’s a love that makes me cry just thinking about it. I received cards, phone calls, text messages, packages, and more from the Boston College family expressing their sympathy, love and support. We truly are a family which Brent was very much a part of. My loss was their loss.

This year, our Tree Cutting Party was exciting and intense in more ways than one. it was my niece's very first tree cutting in general and the weather was so perfect. We’ve had bitter cold weather for this December gathering, we’ve had beautiful warm weather, we’ve had dreary December days but this year we had a perfect snowfall. I had thought this was already the best B.C. party so far soley because we finally cut Christmas trees down in the snow. But it got better.

When we got back to my parent’s house, the Irish whiskey was flowing, bottles were being popped, appetizers were consumed and then my brother, Chris (in most of the photos above), had the room silent. He stood in our living room with all eyes on him and myself sitting on the floor with one of my “cousins.” He said that the entire group wanted me to know they knew this year would be hard and wouldn’t be the same without Brent...but that he was present. He went on and told me they love me and they also wanted me to look around at the party and see Brent everywhere. Then simultaneously all twenty-eight of them took off their sweaters and button downs to reveal they were all wearing our Carve 4 Cancer #LiveLikeBrent shirts and had one waiting for me as well. (I actually thought about packing mine for the weekend but for some reason didn’t!) I don’t even know what I said in response to my brother and everyone in that room except, “Thank you” as I tried to hold back my tears, stood up and hugged Chris. I wasn’t sad or upset but honestly touched by the support and love from this group of people. One of the couples that live down in Orlando felt terrible they were unable travel up for Brent’s arrangements over the summer and felt compelled to do something. So they planned this thoughtful and unexpected surprise. Thank you.

“I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.” – Jennifer Weiner, Author

Everyone in their lifetime will lose somebody they love. I'm obviously not speaking on a break-up or a falling out with a friend. I'm talking about when the time comes for that somebody “to meet their maker”...as Brent would often refer to it. You will lose somebody, attend that wake, attend that funeral and if you're lucky...that's the extent in what you have to do with the loss. Emotionally you still need to deal with it - but not physically. You don't have to worry about stopping utility bills, car payments, cleaning out an entire home from top to bottom and this list goes on. But unfortunately, I'm sure some of you know that process a little too well. However, what are some of the positives after losing this person? It’s very difficult and almost impossible to even see at first. But what are you left with? When life deals you a shitty hand in cards how do you play them? As Brent's girlfriend I realized I was left with something. I'm not talking about the sweatshirt that he wore in the hospital that I slept in for a week straight after he passed. I'm also not talking about being left with his snowboards or the countless memories we had together either. I'm talking about you. I'm talking about his friends - he would always correct me...“Our friends, Aisling. They’re not just MY friends anymore.” - I'm talking about OUR friends, Brent’s drinking buddies, peers, new acquaintances...I'm talking about this community I’ve found myself in. Just stop and think about it. I have been left with this community of rad, insanely kind and special people that have also rallied around what started as a measly grass roots fundraiser almost 5 years ago!  But...it was Brent's little fundraiser. It was his fundraiser to help others in the blood cancer community. I was left with this (growing) team of people. I wasn't the only one left with a community or non-profit that was built together with Brent. Everyone reading this post was left with this too.

These friends, this Carve 4 Cancer community, has evolved from a fundraiser with a couple of raffle baskets into an official, full fledged non-profit recognized by the IRS into now with a foundation. It all comes full circle. Brent was originally raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to help others. He then decided he didn't want the money he raised to be managed by a huge organization. He, in true Brent fashion, wanted to take matters into his own hands and create the impact himself. Over the last 4 years we, Carve 4 Cancer, have donated over $30,000 to blood cancer research. Here we are in December of 2017 where we’ve announced a brand new foundation raising money to give a grants local cancer patients...the Live Like Brent Foundation. We have created a damn foundation, you guys! In just over one week, we receive the applications sent in from patients, get to know these individuals and help them financially. I'm sorry, but how amazing is that?! This is what Brent wanted and we’re going to make it happen. Also, I don’t think we’ve made this public but in 2018 we have a goal of raising $100,000. And we will make it happen. Mic drop.

To put it lightly, losing Brent has taken a toll on myself and the Carve team, the Evans, friends on the east coast, friends on the west coast and everywhere in between. But do you know what keeps myself and the team going at the end of the day? This Carve 4 Cancer community. Brent left us with the opportunity to continue his legacy, continue to pay it forward and have a really stellar time while doing so. How many people have something like that after they lose someone they love? How many people can say they have a community that wants to make a difference because of that loved one that we lost? I'm not going to sit here and tell you we are going to work until this disease is gone. I'm just simply not. But I will tell you we will work together and dedicate our time and talent to making a better today for cancer patients and those effected by this disease. I will fully immerse myself into planning a kickass gala with some of my team members to fund this foundation, carry Brent’s legacy, continue to raise these funds and help those in need together. 

Nevertheless, the purpose of this post is not by any means to solicit donations or ask you for financial support for Carve. I’ve been trying to handle myself and this situation the best I can and what I’ve found is that I’m thankful for the people Brent has surrounded me with. I hope some of you can relate and it helps you during this time of year as well. While you can't pick-up your phone and ask Brent to ditch his plans to hit the slope this winter season or go grab a beer...you can still do something for him. I decided at his wake to travel for him and finish that bucket list we had created together. You can go hit up the slopes twice as many times for him this winter. You can grab Carve 4 Cancer and hold onto it and get involved to whatever degree you’d like. You can sit at your dinner table on Christmas day and be thankful for the people that came into your life. Maybe Brent influenced that...maybe he’s the reason you’re with your loved one. (He always bragged about being a semi-successful matchmaker!) Brent wanted nothing more than to create an impact. I will tell you to let yourself feel his absence this winter season, I certainly will, but please, do good with it. Life definitely isn’t tied with a bow...but take a moment and think about what gift he left us with.

[livelikebrent]

Stop 6: Buffalo, NY

Today would’ve been our 3 year anniversary. I typically don’t crank out a blog post in only one day right after the trip and would want to take more time to write...especially since I have so much to write about for this post. But I felt that I needed to do something today for Brent. I look at the number 3 and think, “Jeez it’s been that long?” but I also look at it and think, “That all happened in a blink of an eye.” On my last trip up in Syracuse when Amanda (a different one than the Amanda I went to Buffalo with) and I had been on a walk, she told me that she was sad that I had such little time with Brent. It’s true but at the same time when I look back at our relationship I like to think that maybe it was me that he needed and not necessarily the other way around. There was a reason I met him at the time that I did and it was me that was with him through all of the wonderful ups and excruciating downs. As odd as it sounds, I’m glad it was me that could be there for him. Our relationship wasn’t normal by any means. But the first half of it was and I wouldn’t trade any part of it for anything.

I went back to New York again for another stop. But I will say each of these trips to the Empire State are drastically different from one to the next. Amanda picked me up from my apartment at 6:15am on Saturday morning. We made the trip up to Wilkes-Barre to scoop up her boyfriend who was Brent’s old roommate, Greg. Then we drove to New Columbia, PA to meet Amanda’s parents, Mike and Barbara, at a Holiday Inn to jump into their truck and finish the drive to Buffalo, New York.

The drive was long. Like 5+ hours long. But it was scenic and completely worth it. I got to know Amanda’s parents who are hysterical and remind me of my sister-in-law’s parents quite a bit. They are super nice, conversational and have many stories to tell. I’m not sure if this is a Sweet family hidden talent or what...but I’ve learned that Amanda and her parents do this trick where they balance a piece of food on their left hand and pop it up into their mouth by hitting said hand with their right one. Amanda first did this in my apartment with a goldfish and I thought it was the best thing ever until Mike did without a problem during a our trip up.

That laughter in that video! I feel like that’s all I heard this weekend and it was absolute music to my ears. Buffalo had been added to my list of places to visit for Brent because of the Bills Mafia. (If you click on any links in this blog post click this one on the Bills Mafia and watch a short documentary on the fans.) Amanda was literally one of the only Buffalo Bills fans I knew (aside from Danny which I only found out a few months ago!) and Brent and I knew she attended games often. Over the last year or so, the Bills Mafia, received a little more street credit and attention. They are apparently some of the wildest fans in the NFL and Brent and I really wanted to experience a tailgate with the Mafia. We wanted to go not necessarily to part-take in the mess they create but honestly just to witness the pure and utter mayhem of the tailgate. When Brent was undergoing treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering Amanda and Greg would come and visit us on weekends up in New York at the Hope Lodge.They also came to see him when he was in North Jersey just outside of the city. Many football games were watched with friends over those weekends. College game day on Saturdays and then Sunday football the next. Amanda at one point promised Brent that as soon as he was better, she would get him to a Bills game with her family so he could participate in a true Buffalo tailgate. A couple of months ago Amanda asked if I still wanted to go to a game for Brent. The answer was obviously yes and I’m so glad we were able to make it work. Brent would’ve LOVED the entire weekend.

Amanda and her parents are die hard Buffalo Bills fans. Mr. and Mrs. Sweet are high school sweethearts that grew up outside of Buffalo in a town called Dansville and they’ve been attending Bills’ tailgates for over 40 years together. Honestly, I’ve learned that being a Bills fan is serious business and there are traditions and routines that take place for game weekends. Such as wings and beers. We arrived in Western New York around 2pm and went straight to Duff’s for said wings and beers. Typically, the Sweets head to Anchor Bar for this but wanted to switch it up this time around. So we stopped at the original Duff’s location in Amherst, New York. If you are unfamiliar with these two spots like I was, the Anchor Bar and Duff’s is to Buffalo as Pat’s and Geno’s cheesesteaks is to Philadelphia...even though Dalessandro’s is where the best cheesesteak is at.

These “before” and “after” photos do NOT do any justice to the damage we did. Out of the 50 wings, the 5 of us consumed almost 40 of a them, a large order of fries and more than 2 pitchers of Labatt Blue Light. Oh and some veggies and dip. It was all so good. Also, I feel as though people don’t refer to them as “buffalo wings” anymore and just “wings.” I will admit it wasn’t until I got home Sunday evening that I put two and two together. I mean, do you honestly say “buffalo sauce” or “buffalo wings”? Or do you say “hot sauce” or just “Frank’s.” But anyway, Amanda sent me a brief history on buffalo wings which you can read here.

After we had our fill, we went to check-in at Hotel at the Lafayette. Which is an old hotel in the city of Buffalo that is apparently haunted and has it’s own brewery. We got settled, freshened up and had a couple of beers before roaming about the city for the night. Traditionally, the Sweets would drive to Niagara Falls the day before the game, stay the night, wake-up and drive to Buffalo to tailgate. But recently, they’ve started exploring Buffalo and staying more local. I also think it’s safe to say after the weekend we had, they will probably continue to stay in Buffalo.

We walked out and it was a chilly 30something degrees. It is definitely winter already in Buffalo which wasn’t a surprise as I had been watching their weather the entire week leading up to the trip. It was very dark out and one of the first bars we saw was called, “The Cowboy.” As we started walking closer we couldn’t tell if it was going to be a bar, strip club, or an actual whole in the wall. We peered into the windows and it was dark and empty but I insisted that we went in. There wasn’t ONE patron in sight. The bartender, Kaleigh, in her glitter eye shadow and pajama pants who was 20 was the only one there. It was a dark bar, with cowboy hats as lamp shades on the bulbs above the bar rail, a couple of naked cowgirls painted on the walls (who I will leave out of this for the time being) and barrels around poles which served as high tops near the dance floor. We ordered some beers, fireball, hung out, played with hoola hoops and enjoyed having the place to ourselves for the time being.

After we finished our drinks we continued down Chippewa Street which seemed to have the most activity and night life on it. Mike asked me about my name so I explained where it came from and then he asked if I had any siblings and what their names were. I laugh when people ask me that because I know exactly what they’re expecting. If my name is a uncommon Gaelic name, ‘Aisling’ and pronounced as ‘Ashleen’, my sibling must have some off the wall name as well. So I looked at Mike and said, “Yes! I have a brother. His name is Christopher.” He laughed and asked me my middle and last name. He immediately loved my middle name, Coyne, which was my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. Mike didn’t call me anything but Coyne for the rest of the trip.

We were crossing the street when out of the corner of my eye I saw D’Arcey McGee’s ... immediately Amanda’s Dad wanted to go in. It was a cool Irish bar that resembled a Tir Na Nog or Kildare’s but just not a chain. There was a lot of dark wood work going on, wooden booths, arches and shelving throughout along with typical “vintage” Guinness ads and artwork. But as soon as we walked in there, AGAIN there wasn’t ONE patron in sight. Just Brianne, the bartender. We couldn’t get over it. WHERE WAS EVERYONE?! Then we soon realized it was only 5:30pm on a Saturday night. We ordered our beers and Amanda decided to test the bar tender by requesting an espresso martini. We all somewhat scoffed at Amanda and her order and Brianne definitely took her time with it. That made Amanda even more skeptical of the bartender. But after a while and a couple of eye rolls from Amanda, she finally got her drink and it turned out to be a really good martini. We hopped off our bar stools and checked out the rest of the space...which was huge. There was a pool table and dart board around the corner. So we posted up an played a couple games of pool.

Mike started saying, “Coyne this! Coyne that!” This is where all of a sudden Greg got this look of excitment in his eyes and got on this tangent to Amanda that if they ever have a son he’s being named Coyne Quinn. He said, “WHAT A RING THAT HAS TO IT. COYNE QUINN, AMANDA!” He then continued, “Just imagine. Coyne Quinn as a quarterback for Penn State football. He would be on highlights on ESPN and with every amazing complete pass they would play the Mario Brother’s sound effect of when they punch a box and a coin would come out. THERE’S COYNE QUINN GOING DEEP. DING. AND THE THROW. DING. IT’S GOING LONG. DING. COMPLETION. DING. ANOTHER ONE. DING. A TOUCHDOWN. DING. DING. DING.” Amanda rolled her eyes and told Greg their children would be playing tennis. “No contact sports, Greg. I don’t wanT our children getting concussed. Tennis. Golf. Volleyball. No contact sports!” After Greg returned an eye roll back at her, Amanda and I joined in on a game of pool and Mike showed off his skills. 

I'm honestly not very good at pool but would like to be. Side note: If anyone could teach me, I would greatly appreciate it! Mike's only tip and instruction he gave to me the entire game was to “Level your stick and close your mouth.” We played a few games and then decided to find another bar and perhaps something to eat.  As we walked down the street again we came across a place called Taphouse Pub & Grill. It was a standard bar but had a decent draft list and at least had patrons in it. I tried a local beer from a brewery called Rusty Chain and it was some sort of red ale, I believe. It was a smaller bar with a couple of tables but plenty of stools at the bar. They had several televisions for the games that were on along with Impracticable Jokers which I learned Mike hates. We hung out and chatted. The bar had a small popcorn machine in the corner by the front entrance. The first time I had ever saw that was in Delaware. I had no idea that popcorn machines were a thing at bars. But apparently it is in Buffalo as well. We got some popcorn and we did the obvious...the Sweet Family Trick. Barbara popped a couple into her mouth. I watched the Sweets do it over and over again.  It did take me two or three tries, but was so excited to have done it.

After our drinks we decided that we wanted more ambiance or a livelier atmosphere. We then found a place right across the street called Local Kitchen & Beer Bar. The place was buzzing and had the most life in it than any other establishment we had been in at that point. I ordered a local cider, Greg ordered a Genesee and also got some apps for everyone to share. We talked about Brent. Correction, we talked about Brent a lot. Greg was there the night Brent was placed on the ventilator and I feel so terrible about it. Brent and I bought concert tickets for my old roommate’s birthday. Brent had wanted me to go to the concert that Friday night. I asked Greg if he would be able to visit with Brent that night and that I would be at the hospital bright and early the following morning. I just didn’t want him to be alone even if he slept the whole time. It would just be nice if he rolled over and realized he wasn’t alone. I received a call at 9:30pm from Greg that night that something was happening and the doctors wanted to put Brent on a ventilator. Every time I see Greg I feel the need to apologize that he had to be there for that and see Brent go through what he did. Greg always tells me he was so glad he could be there for Brent whether or not he knew he was in the room with him. I’ve relived those last 10 hours of Brent’s life that I spent with him and his family probably 100 times over and it was absolutely, heartbreakingly tragic. I wouldn’t want anyone to ever have to witness anything remotely close to what we saw, felt, talked about and experienced that night into the morning. Greg and Brent went to the same high school in Wilkes-Barre but actually didn’t know one another then. They met at West Virginia University when one Greg was visiting one of Brent’s college roommates, Brett! They didn’t really start hanging out until Greg moved to Philadelphia and Brent got out of the hospital for his first go around with cancer.

 A couple of years ago when I had just started dating Brent, Greg moved in with him in Brent’s apartment in East Falls. It turns out Greg had started dating Amanda shortly before Brent and myself. After a year or so of dating, Greg and Amanda moved into a place together which ended up being across the street from my current apartment! Brent and I love Greg and Amanda and we always stood them up. It was awful. Something would always come up or it would be something with Brent’s health when we had dinner plans scheduled. We always felt so guilty. The first time I ever met Amanda was at my first Carve 4 Cancer. I vividly remember standing by the raffle table and I felt somebody holding me by my arm saying, “Wait, are you Aisling?” I hardly knew anyone there at that point and just met a couple dozen of Brent’s friends from home. By the way, that happened ALL of the time. Brent would introduce me to friends and it was never a one off. I always felt like I met 15 to 50 friends at one time. So if I ever forget your name, please accept this apology. As I looked at this girl, I nervously shook my head up and down and she introduced herself as Greg’s girlfriend, Amanda. We’ve been in touch and became friends with Amanda ever since. I refer to her as Lasagna Amanda a lot but mainly to my family. When Brent had passed she showed up to my apartment with a handwritten letter, a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a homemade lasagna. Greg made fun of her and forewarned me about her cooking via group text. But she did a wonderful job. I’m grateful for these two and the support they’ve given Brent and myself over the last year and a half and their friendship for the last three years. After Greg and I wrapped up our pow-wow and dried some tears we asked the “Catch me outside” doppleganger twins to our left to take our photo.

We were just about ready to make our way back to the hotel as we had another early and action packed day ahead of us. But on the walk back I suggested that we stop by The Cowboy to see it in all it’s glory for a nightcap. Welp, said nightcap turned into an extended stay...simply just to dance.

We walked back in and thankfully there was a crowd but maybe only two people on the dance floor. You would’ve thought that bar had been waiting for us to come back to bring the life of the party, Barbara. We tore up the dance floor, the young boys were all over Amanda’s mom, we became best friends with the DJ with our song requests, more people left their bar stools to join the dance floor, and a bartender (not Kaleigh and her sparkly eye shadow) came out and got a line dance going. The next day the line dancing was all Amanda could talk about and how much she loved it along with the stomping and clapping. NOTE TO GREG: BUY YOUR GIRLFRIEND SOME FLOWERS AND TAKE HER LINE DANCING. We all let our hair down, even Mike! We created a little bit of a scene and let’s just say the dance floor was sad to see us go at the end of the night.

We grabbed a slice on the way back to the hotel and called it a night. Well, kind of. Fast forward a couple of hours later. I found myself standing outside of the hotel room I was staying in with Amanda and Greg in the middle of the night. Then I remember being downstairs trying to communicate with the front desk. Then I found myself back on the third floor knocking on our door when I came to and fully woke up. In my pajamas. In the hallway. Without any shoes on. And for some reason I wasn’t all that embarrassed. I went back downstairs and had a fully conscious conversation and apologized to the front desk but also laughing at the fact that I had just been sleepwalking/talking to them. They chuckled and the manager asked me if I was okay at this point (because I was babbling less than five minutes ago) and called my room, 320. But of course. Nobody picked up the phone. I continued to apologize as I stood there in a pair of Brent’s Nike sweatpants and a highlighter yellow Milwaukee Carve 4 Cancer t-shirt. I then tell them that Mike Sweet booked the rooms and is staying at the hotel with his wife, Barbara, but didn’t know his room number offhand. After the manager gave me a questioning look and found their room number, he called up. He told them, “There is a girl down here that wants to come up to your room.” I told the manager to say my name since his phone call made me sound so shady and I was afraid Barbara would tell him she wasn’t expecting anyone. The manager told me I could go up and told me their room number. Barbara was in the hallway on the phone with Amanda. “Is Aisling in your room, Amanda?” “Of course she is mom! She’s out here on the...Oh no.” As I ran down the hallway, I apologized and explained what had happened and was sorry for scaring anyone. Then I found my way back into my room with Amanda laughing hysterically at me at 2:30 in the morning.

Fast forward 4.5 hours later. The three of us got showered, geared up and met up with Amanda’s parents for a quick breakfast before making our way to the tailgate. I explained again what had happened only a couple of hours earlier to Mike. The weird part about it was they were JUST telling me stories about Amanda’s dad sleepwalking the day before. I haven’t done that in years. But we then packed up the car and headed to the grocery store for ingredients for “beef on weck” and then went to the tailgate. Beef on weck is a Western New York sandwich found primarily in Western New York State. It is made with roast beef on a kimmelweck roll (a roll with salt and caraway seeds on top). The meat on the sandwich is traditionally served rare, thin cut, with the top bun getting a dip au jus and spread with horseradish. AND IT’S DELISH. We got to the tailgate for 9:30am. But let me tell you...they don’t go to a parking lot outside of New Era Field or anything like that. They park in somebody’s backyard. YUP. There is a line of houses across the street from the stadium that has tailgating and parking there for the Buffalo Bills’ entire season and it’s wild.

Pictured above is the house where the Sweets always tailgate.  Once you get to the garage there at the end of the driveway you veer to the right and there is a giant Bills mural on the side of the wall and a yard where cars just line up and hang out. Also, the answer to the question you’re thinking is no...they don’t personally know the owner of the house. Ha.

If I could have I would have slapped a #LiveLikeBrent sticker on this wall. We grabbed a drink and then went for a walk through a tailgate lot across the street. The weather was perfect for a mid-November football game. It definitely felt like a November day with grey skies and the crisp air. But it wasn’t that chilly...especially for being in Buffalo. A couple of the Sweets’ family friends have a truck that they have tricked out and serve drinks out of. So we went over and I was in awe of this what looked like a Tastykake truck turned Bills mancave bar. We hopped on up and into the back of the truck and there were shots lined up on the bar, a bar tender, and fixings for bloody Marys. Barbara, Greg and I ordered a couple of bloodies. Brent and I always ordered bloody Marys any chance we got. We’ve had quite the array in the last few years to say the least ranging from bloodies topped with a stout, bloodies with crab meat, shrimp, you name it, we’ve probably had it. The one topped with a stout was from the Field House in Philadelphia which was surprisingly our favorite bloody we’d ever had but...never would I ever thought I would say this but the one I had this weekend was hands down the new best bloody Mary I’ve ever had. It blew Field House’s out of the water. I wish I asked what the spices were in the mix because I couldn’t figure it out. All Greg and I kept saying was, “THIS IS SO GOOD. THIS IS THE BEST BLOODY MARY EVER. OH MY GOD.” In addition to the drink, there was a ball of fresh mozzarella, olive, pearled onion, chunk of pepperoni, celery stick and then a slice of bacon all to garnish and they were all rolled in something like parmesan. But in all seriousness it was exactly what we needed that morning. A Bud Light just wasn’t sounding all that appetizing at that hour. But who knew that I’d find my favorite bloody Mary at a Buffalo Bills tailgate?

We left the mancave tailgate and made our way to the tailgate lots at the stadium. Apparently there is this guy named “Pinto Ron” and if you watched the Bills Mafia video I told you to watch earlier in this post you would know who he is by now! But he is a Buffalo Bills fan that is known for attending every single Bills game (home AND away) and for hosting tailgate parties since 1994. Now that’s quite the commitment. I can’t get some people to commit to something 2 or 3 weeks out mind you this guys commits to entire NFL seasons. We didn’t find Pinto Ron but did find a lot of other...things. I initially imagined a Buffalo Bills tailgate as an extremely bad Wal-Mart crowd. Like really bad. But we didn’t run into anything too extreme or savage. It was still only 10:30 in the morning mind you.

After circling a couple of lots and swimming through a sea of Bills fans, we made our way back to our backyard tailgate. Mike was cooking the meat for beef on weck. It was really, really good. Honestly...it’s all in the bun and because Mike was wearing his sick Bills sweatshirt that he referred to as his P. Diddy hoodie.

After we ate we started to pack up camp. It was almost 12noon and kickoff was for 1pm against the Saints. As we got ready and started making our way back over, Greg and I were determined to witness some Bills Mafia mayhem. At this point they’ve had a couple hours of day drinking in them and must have been getting into a mess at that point. We’ve watched videos of guys throwing guys off of trucks on top of tables, throwing their girlfriends to smash tables and just being straight up wild. I kept telling Greg I was going to throw him through a table.

It turns out we were a minute too late. We saw probably close to a dozen broken tables, articles of clothing, and a sea of LaBatt beer cars everywhere all over the lot. Oh and these kids bonging beers out of a mannequin and yes, the guy holding back puke is wearing an OJ Simpson Bills jersey. To be quite frank, if Brent had been there he probably would’ve asked to chug a beer out of that mannequin.

By the way, Greg was totally in his element at this point. Periodically, I would look up at him and he would be grinning from ear to ear. I mean, the whole thing was ridiculous how wild everyone there was as a part of the Bills Mafia. As we were walking, I was waiting to hear Greg say, “We need to stay here.” Or “Let’s keep going up and down the rows a few more minutes.” He looked like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. But it was almost 1pm so we made our way over to the stadium.

The Sweets have really awesome (or should I say...”sweet”) season tickets on the club level. What’s neat about New Era Field is that when you enter, you’re on the ground level but the field is below you. So they not only built up but down into the ground. Why? Lake Erie. Lake Erie is RIGHT there and Lake Ontario isn’t all that far either so you can get these incredible winds ripping through right off of the water and it would be too much to be sitting that high and getting blasted. I thought that was pretty interesting though.

The Bills were up for a little by 3 points. But let’s just say that was pretty short lived. But it was still fun to be there. I had been to a NFL game when I was pretty young and barely remember it so I considered this my first time at one. I thoroughly enjoyed it even if the Bills didn’t win. We left during the third quarter since we had over 6 hours of driving ahead of us and there was no chance the Bills were going to bounce back. With that being said, yes we did miss the streaker. While the Bills didn’t seem that alive on the field, the Bills Mafia sure as hell was. 

We hopped in the truck and made our way southbound. Considering we had such nice seats and were on club level, I didn’t find the right spot to place a #LiveLikeBrent sticker in Buffalo. But I bought a t-shirt for one of Brent’s best friends in Philadelphia and only other Bills fan I know, Dan. As we were standing in the tailgate lot earlier in the day, a guy was walking around selling t-shirts and I felt if Brent were there he would’ve bought it since it had the steal your face logo on it. So I asked Greg and Amanda to take a photo with the sticker. I trust that one time Amanda will come across the perfect spot for one.

Thank you to The Sweets and Greg for your hospitality and for such a fun weekend. I haven’t laughed that much in 24 hours in a very long time. I loved my first time in Buffalo and Brent would’ve as well. You are some of the best people and I’m thankful to have you in my life here in Philadelphia.

Photo/Video Credit: Greg Quinn, Amanda Sweet, Bills Mafia, & Catch Me Outside Girl

[livelikebrent]

Stop 5: Syracuse, NY

“She just has such a natural beauty. She’s one of the prettiest girls I know.” Brent adored Amanda and said this about her on multiple occasions. Brent adored Drew too. They were some of his best friends from back home in Wilkes-Barre. I adore them too.

Originally, Stop 5 was supposed to be Acadia National Park in Maine...but I simply did not carve out enough time for the trip (oops!). So, with that trip being postponed until the spring the obvious second choice was Syracuse to visit 8 month pregnant parents to be, Amanda and Drew! The last time Brent and I stopped through to visit Syracuse (rather briefly) was after we had gone camping in the Adirondacks in July of 2015. I remember we parked the Jeep at Forked Lake Campground and hiked maybe about a half mile to our spot which was right next to the lake and was picture perfect (until it rained later that evening). The site came with a picnic table and benches and whoever had the site before us, placed several tree stumps around the “fire pit”. So we set up the tent, hammock and walked around the area a bit.

I started dinner while Brent went to get more firewood from the car. Then hopped in his hammock with a Bells Two Hearted Ale. Brent came back with firewood and flowers he picked along the way for me. After we ate we enjoyed the fire and beers before it started to downpour. We didn’t mind though as we planned on waking up with the sun the next morning to go on quite the hike.

Pictured above is us a smidge tired and sweaty after an upwards hike for 3 hours and 4,626 ft. at the top of Giant Mountain in New York. I like hiking but I like to work towards something. That something could be a killer view, waterfalls or anything to keep me motivated. This was quite the view and I remember that the camera couldn’t truly capture the depths of the mountains and how beautiful the view actually was. I also remember Brent struggling a bit during the hike...at one point (I think we were about a third of the way to the top) I looked at him and told him we didn’t have to complete the hike and could just turn around. I could barely even finish that sentence before he looked at me and said, “I didn’t just beat cancer.” When he said the word “just” he drew out the “uhhh” in an annoyed voice. He said that if he could beat cancer and he could get to the top of the mountain. Did any of you just chuckle while hearing him say this in your head? I did. He was a determined and smarty-pants at times. That’s what I liked about him. Not only did he have motivation but determination.

Brendan and I pulled up to a cute little house with a Blazer in the driveway marked with a “LiveLikeBrent” sticker on the back windshield. Amanda, belly and all, came out from the garage led by Bear, their puppy. Bear is a gorgeous mix of German Sheppard and who knows what else and has the softest coat I’ve ever felt. Drew and Amanda gave us the tour of their home and property. During said tour, Drew said he was sold on the house just by the backyard. Their home sits on a decent sized lot with a backyard that backs up to the woods. There’s a slight up slope towards the back of their property where they have Adirondack chairs in front of a fire pit. I originally thought it was a pizza oven due to the fact Drew isn’t a stranger in the kitchen. Turns out that’s what he eventually wants to do with it. So obviously I’ll be back but only when that’s completed.

After we got settled we hopped in the car and went to Emipre Brewing Co. for a late lunch and some beers. As we pulled up I didn’t realize how massive of a facility Empire was...I suppose the name is fitting. On the other hand, Drew couldn’t get over how packed it was. I mean, it was a Saturday afternoon. In October. In Syracuse. With perfect weather.

“Empire Farm Brewery, est.2016, is the largest Farm Brewery on the East Coast. Over 22 acres were developed for educational and beer production purposes. Boasting a new 60 bbl automated brewhouse, the Empire Farm Brewery is producing kegs and bottles for regional, national and international distribution. Bottled lineup includes 3 time consecutive Great American Beer Fest gold medal winner; Skinny Atlas Light, White Aphro, Slo Mo’ IPA, East Coast Amber Ale, and World Beer Cup gold medal winner; Black Magic Stout.  Located in Cazenovia, NY, the property also grows hops, lavender, vegetables, herbs, and fruits for use in the brewing process and to support the needs of Empire’s downtown brewpub.

The agricultural component was designed in conjunction with Professor Matthew Potteiger and the graduate student body from the Department of Landscape Architecture, State University of New York, College of Environmental Science and Forestry. The Empire Farm Brewery was the class project for ESF’s spring 2012 semester.”

Reading that makes the place sound somewhat dreamy, right? It kinda was. The inside was nice, still smelled somewhat new. The place was jammin’ and as we were ordering our beers and a lemonade for the mama to be, a table opened up. What was neat about the place was that they had long communal picnic tables and “round” tables made out of tree trunks which is where we sat. There is a patio out back with tables, a bar and several corn hole sets. I kept looking around not being able to get over the size of the place. We ordered some food and caught up with one another. Drew knew Brent from back in the day in grade school and had been friends ever since. Amanda met Brent through mutual friends later in life in high school. Brent mentioned to me the first time Amanda told him she liked Drew. It was at a concert of sorts (most likely moe. or something along those lines) where she said it and Brent’s reply was something similar to “Yeah, me too.” ... but she corrected him on what she actually meant. They’re a super sweet couple. The first time I met them was New Year’s Eve 2014. They were staying the weekend at Brent’s apartment in East Falls. I remember Drew cooking dinner for all of us at Danny and Dana’s place. He made quite the meal with nice steaks. The following day I remember learning that apparently eating pork on New Year’s Day is a Polish tradition. I think we even had some venison if my memory serves me correctly. At that point in time, I just knew Drew as the friend that could cook and Amanda as “the most naturally beautiful girls” Brent knew...and his best friends of course.

We ate, drank and tossed around baby name ideas. After Empire we decided to do “fall things” (with the rest of the state of New York) since the weather was so beautiful. We drove to a place called Tim’s Pumpkin Patch. Why did we drive close to a half hour and pass maybe half a dozen orchards and pumpkin stands just to go to Tim’s? Well, first of all it has a 4.4 star rating on Google...so there’s that. But in addition to pumpkin picking they have a brewery, bakery, animals and well, Amanda insisted. When we arrived, I bought everyone some farm feed along with beers and ciders before going to visit the animals. After we cooed over the baby goats, pigs and cows we stopped for some fresh apple fritters before heading into the corn maze. The maze was so difficult we ended up coming out where we began and probably didn’t even touch half of the maze. If the sun wasn’t setting we probably would’ve given it another shot. But at that point we wanted to pick our pumpkins, snag a quick photo of the parents to be and hit the road.

When we got back to Drew and Amanda’s home we were greeted by Bear who quite honestly Brendan and I could not get enough of the entire visit. By the way, he is SUCH a good boy.

We hung out for a while. Amanda and Drew then ended up taking us to a place called Seneca Street Brew Pub where I had a Cider Creek Smoked Up Cider. I thought it ruled and was very much alone on this. Give me anything and everything smoked and I’ll consume it...meat, cheese, beer and ciders. This brew pub was in the basement of a renovated church with a bottle shop on top. It truly didn’t feel like a church by any means but was still a cool spot. The bottle shop had dozens and dozens of locally brewed beers, ciders and some wines. I did fail to take a photo of this place. (I actually forgot to take a lot of photos over the weekend!) After we had a drink we walked down the street in downtown Manlius to IronWood Pizza for some dinner. It had a cool vibe inside and an extensive craft beer list. It had an alternative atmosphere with some cool graffiti on the wall in the main dining room and had somewhat industrial touches around the place.

After we ate we went back and the boys built a fire. There was a meteor shower the night before so we hung out in hopes to catch a meteor or two. Drew said he had been listening to some of Brent’s playlists and suggested that we throw one on. So we did. We played some of Brent’s music from Spotify and enjoyed the night. You can view and play Brent’s public playlists on Spotify right here. Note: I’m not sure if they will disappear once his subscription is not renewed. So please download or screenshot the playlists for future reference if you wish!

Sunday morning was a treat. Amanda and Drew have their Sunday ritual which is checking out the Central New York Regional Market. Brendan had already had his eye on visiting this place. The market has been there for YEARS and has Sunday flea markets, Saturday farmers markets and even serves as a live music venue occasionally. The market has several “sheds” which are extremely long structures with garage doors along the sides where vendor after vendor set up for the day. You can find pretty much anything there. Some people bring their junk, some have brand new items with price tag stickers still on them and then people who have some neat odds and ends. I walked out of there with three silver candle stick holders that just need some polish that I bought for a whopping $2. Amanda and Drew found a metal tub type bucket, kitchen tools and some Simpsons books...yes, as in the TV show. According to Drew the place was “empty” and gets packed in the summers. But I actually thought there were a decent amount of vendors there...but I would have no problem making the trip back up in the summertime. I LOVE flea markets, antique shops, thrift stores, indoor markets, outdoor markets, whatever sort of place that has potential for cool finds.

Speaking of cool finds, we “found” some barbecue too. It was just about lunchtime and before Brendan and I even got to Syracuse that weekend, we decided we would go to Dinosaur Bar-B-Que. I actually had no idea this place originated in Syracuse but had been to a location in Brooklyn several years back. We made it right before the Sunday afternoon rush and got a table in a booth. Amanda had mentioned a couple of times that they had solid bloody marys. She ordered a virgin and I told the waitress I’d take Amanda’s vodka. It was a really good bloody mary. It was spicy and whatever dry rub of their’s they rim the glass with was spot on. We started with their fried green tomatoes to share and then ribs, pulled pork, corn bread, mac and cheese were ordered...but I don’t even think that was half of what was order for the table.

This photo above it definitely one of my new favorites. I’m full again just looking at this picture. After I ate my sandwich I could hardly touch the rest of my sides. Or even think about them. Everything tasted so flippin’ good but I felt as though I was busting at the seems. I remember telling everyone I needed to lay down to digest and slumped over in the booth. I have no idea how the boys pack it away.

Just like every trip I take, I find at least one worthy spot for a #LiveLikeBrent sticker. I think that most people would agree that Dinosaur was more than worthy. I spoke to the bartender and gave her the revised version as to why I was there and why I wanted this sticker in their establishment. She gave her condolences but was super touched to hear what I was doing to honor Brent. So if you ever find yourself at the bar of Dinosaur Barbeque in Syracuse a sticker for Brent is there just to the right of the tap system on the back ledge of the bar.

We made our way back to the house to try and digest for a bit.The boys relaxed in the basement (which is massive by the way) and watched some of the Sunday football games. Amanda, Bear and I got in the car and went to Green Lakes State Park for a walk. It was a pretty drive and as you enter the park you also pass through what looked like a nice golf course. We parked the car and started to walk. Turns out the lakes are actually green. The two glacial lakes in the park lie at the base of a gorge. I learned that they are rare meromictic lakes meaning their layers within the water never physically mix. We walked a bit over a mile which made me feel better about the amount of food I had recently inhaled. As we walked we talked about losing Brent, when Amanda lost her father and how the boys have been back in Philadelphia. Ps. Philly Friends - This is the part where I tell you she misses you all and Drew wants me to tell everyone Syracuse isn’t that far...so you all need to visit them.

When we got back, the boys were snoozing in front of the television. Then Brendan showed up in the kitchen and made some coffees. Drew and Amanda’s home is decorated with flea market finds, family heirlooms and pieces they have found along the way. It’s got this farm house vibe but nothing that seems like you can just go and pick-up from the home decor section at Target. (P.S. -  There is NOTHING wrong with Target, by the way. I basically live there myself.) But I started asking about an antique cabbage slicer Amanda had hanging above the kitchen sink. I didn’t know what it actually was until she told me but see them all of the time now when out at antique shops. It turns out it belonged to her grandfather back in the day. They also have a couple of letter trays on the walls that hold little knick knacks. I think at their previous apartment they held stones as well. As I was asking about items around the house, Amanda pulled out a stoneware crock which held kitchen tools...and some actual tools. I didn’t realize it until Brendan started asking about the crocks but there are several around their home. Some for decor and others serving a purpose. They were really cool and completely Amanda’s style. Amanda also collects retro kitchen tools with the green handles. She actually just bought the one dead center in the photo on the counter at the market earlier that day. I think we decided it was a pastry/cookie cutter that you roll along dough. It had the shapes of suits in a deck of cards: heart, diamond, club, and spade. It was kinda neat. Amanda pulled out almost every tool and told us about them. She likes the way they look mainly but said when she’s out at the market a lot of people will try to paint the handles green to make them look like antiques and she tried to avoid the replicas.

We finished up our coffee and played with Bear one more time before packing up. Drew woke up from his slumber but claimed he was awake the entire time. We said our goodbyes, packed up the car and made our way back south.This is the part where I remind everyone that even though Amanda and Drew have a little one due literally any day now...they still welcome visitors. This is also the part where I tell you Brent told me Amanda and Drew are having a boy (even though they don’t know the gender of the baby). Maybe Brent was having a “chemo brain” moment when he told me confidently that it’s a boy or maybe he just knew or maybe it’ll just be a coincidence. Or maybe...they’ll just have a little baby girl. Either way, I’m excited to see the little bundle of joy the next time I go to visit them upstate. Thank you so much for having us for the weekend, Drew and Amanda. We love you, Bear and the little one on the way!

[livelikebrent]

Your Stops: Around the World!

“Has a story about a complete stranger ever strongly affected you?” This is something a family friend wrote regarding Brent. With my next “official” trip not being until the end of October, I didn’t want to go too long without writing. While I haven’t been traveling, I have still very much been non-stop since I drove Brent to the ER with his roommate, Ryan, on Wednesday, July 5th. I’ve been booked solid week after week and my weekends are literally booked until Thanksgiving. I’m not complaining by any means. These weekends are booked with plans to celebrate friends’ marriages, work weddings, bachelorette parties, family weekends and so on. But I’m also not the only one traveling. A lot of friends, acquaintances and family have been and sharing the #LiveLikeBrent love too! 

That brings me to Chelsea. Chelsea is my sister-in-law’s cousin who loves to travel. I’ve met her a handful of times at some family gatherings. I was truly touched and humbled when she messaged me about Brent’s passing. She said that she didn’t know him well but felt she had a lot in common with Brent. She too lives the adventurous “bucket list checker” kind of life which drew her even more to the Live Like Brent movement. In only a matter of days she was going to be traveling to Iceland, Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris. I got a sticker to her as soon as I could for her to bring on her travels:

“Has a story about a complete stranger ever strongly affected you? Brent was fellow adventurer with a passion for life who recently passed away from cancer and his story hit home for me. His incredibly strong girlfriend, @aiscake has decided to finish out his bucket list and spread the word about the #LiveLikeBrent movement. Before heading to Europe I asked her if I could have a hand in spreading it internationally, and I'm honored that she said yes. Life is short. Live it, people ❤️ #carve4cancer“ View this post on her Instagram here.

This is exactly what Brent would’ve wanted. Creating an impact. Not the type of impact because it was so tragic. But the type of impact where people (not just me!) want to live like he did and keep his spirit alive by doing what he (and Chelsea!) loved to do. The photo above was captured in Reykjavik, Iceland. I originally had wanted to get a stack of stickers to Chelsea to post up on her travels but logistically couldn’t. She asked me what to do. I told her to bring it EVERYWHERE with her and when she finds a place to stick...she will just know. She carried the sticker for several weeks with her and let me know when she would finally leave it behind. But after Iceland Brent traveled with Chelsea to Amsterdam.

Then after being in the capital of the Netherlands she took him to Brussels!

Every time that Chelsea stopped to take a photo she would write me a message and send the photo. It was great. Then one day I received a message from her that read, “Well I found the perfect place to leave Brent’s sticker in Paris.” When I saw the photos she sent me the only thing that I could say was, “You’re right. This is perfect.”

In addition to Chelsea taking Brent across the pond...so did his boss from Suvoda, Andrea. If you knew Brent, you knew that he loved his job at Suvoda. For those of you who do not know, to put it simply, Suvoda is a clinical trial software company. Brent also enjoyed the fact that he was on the other side of things with the process as he had been involved in clinical trials as a patient in the past. He loved his career and the company he worked for but what he loved the most were his colleagues. He would always tell me how blessed he felt to be working with some of the most intelligent people he has ever met. Sometimes he would act surprised or astonished at the fact that he actually worked with them. He loved everything about Suvoda and never planned on leaving. He had no reason to. He enjoyed waking up in the morning and either taking the quick train ride out to the Conshohocken office or working from home and video chatting with his boss and her two pups for meetings. I always thought if you wake up in the morning and 90% of the time you didn’t mind going to work, you were set and very lucky. But 100% of the time? That was Brent. I was lucky enough to attend one of Suvoda’s holiday parties and was able to meet a handful of his peers. I met co-workers from the west coast, east coast and even from Bucharest! It was an eclectic and brilliant crew. Honestly, it’s no wonder why he would frequently boast about his job. Even when Brent had relapsed I witnessed the support and love that Suvoda gave to Brent and I know he is forever thankful for it.

When Brent started traveling to Memorial Sloan Kettering every week for his treatment I decided to think of a way to make the long train rides and even longer day in the clinic a bit more bearable. So I came up with the idea to have his friends make chemo boxes for him weekly! I made him the first one which explained what would be coming his way and it was filled with treats, sudokus, cross words and a tall stack of envelopes. Each envelope read, “Open me when...” and I had a card for every occasion or feeling he could possibly have when I wasn’t physically there to support him. He could open them on the train if he missed me, when he was sitting in the hospital bed months from then and needed a laugh or just ideas to help pass the time if he was bored. Most boxes he received had adult coloring books, snacks, some of his favorite magazines, books and a lot more.  But I got in touch with his colleagues at Suvoda and they put one together for him too (which he loved by the way). That’s when his wonderful human being of a boss, Andrea, and I exchanged numbers and I kept her up to date as the days, weeks and months passed. Even now she checks in on me every so often which I truly appreciate. 

Andrea recently made her way to the Suvoda offices located in Romania and brought a sticker along for the ride with her. Brent had always wanted to make his way over to the other offices and would tell me we’d go to Barcelona (because I’ve always been itching to go) then he would visit the crew there. But I’m glad that Andrea could take him with her to Romania this time around.

Andrea took a moment at the London Heathrow Airport which is photographed above.

Then at 35,000 feet up making her way from London enroute to Bucharest.

Then she snapped a photo in front of St. Anton Church (which dates from 1559) in Bucharest, Romania on her way into the office one morning. If there is ever a Suvoda office in my travels, you best bet I’ll be swinging by to just say hello and thank you. Seattle, Portland, Barcelona are on the horizon so I’m coming for ya!

Last are Caitlin and Adam who (I mentioned in the last post). While they didn’t take Brent abroad (yet!) they took him on part of their mini-moon. I could go on and on again about how wonderful of a weekend that was...but I will refrain. Adam and Caitlin got hitched this summer at Firelight Campgrounds and decided to not jet set right away and to enjoy their time in New York a little longer. They took Brent on a hike through the Robert H. Treman State Park in Ithaca because they knew how much he would have loved it. He would’ve loved everything about Ithaca and the entire weekend with our friends. But they ended up leaving the sticker at Firelight Campgrounds on the record player in one of the main tents. I probably looked at that record player half a dozen times during the wedding set-up. I even wanted to move it out of the tent at one point into storage but it stayed. It never occurred to me to put a sticker on it with the other ones already on there! As Caitlin said, “... left a sticker on the record player there since jamming out was one of your favorite things.” It was. Whether it was in the car, kitchen, shower or on the beach...Brent loved having his music playing.

Thank you guys for taking Brent with you. Whether it’s to another country, across town to a local brewery or just in your thoughts...that’s all he would’ve wanted. Keep Living Like Brent!

[livelikebrent]

Stop 4: Ithaca, NY

I’ve never cried so much at a wedding. I also haven’t laughed as hard as I did this weekend in a very, very long time. I remember the very first time I met Adam and Caitlin, two of Brent’s best friends. It was the week after Thanksgiving of 2014. I don’t know why but I remember deciding to wear a brand new sweater I purchased on Black Friday of that year. Caitlin decided we would meet up for drinks downtown Manayunk at a place called The Goat’s Beard. I was nervous but excited. I remember Caitlin wearing a long, thick, over sized sweater and complimenting her on it. I remember Brent ordering a Moscow Mule and wanting to steal the copper mug it was served in. I remember then we would head down to one of my favorite bars, Lucky’s Last Chance, and to my surprise it was to meet more of Brent’s crew. Danny, Dana, Dana’s sister and brother-in-law were all there hanging out and having a good time. Again, I was nervous and had no idea just how much these people would mean to me over the next three years.

This year, I will be attending two weddings by myself where Brent played matchmaker. I think almost everyone knows the story as to how Adam met Caitlin and how Brent played such a huge part...but for those of you who don’t Caitlin summarized how they met in her own words shortly after Brent passed:

“...My fiancé Adam and I met through our mutual friend Brent Evans, who over the weekend passed away due to post-cancer complications. Cancer didn't take him though, he actually beat that like a champ, twice. I grew up knowing Brent through mutual family friends and even though I rarely saw him between yearly gatherings, he always made you feel like you were one of his best friends. Adam has been friends with Brent since high school, but became even closer after college and the two bonded over their love of skiing/snowboarding. It was a few years ago when my sister reconnected with Brent and he quickly invited her to join any event he and his friends were doing (because that’s the kind of guy he was). Soon after, she met his friend Adam, and the two thought Adam and I would be a good fit for one another. Later that summer Brent put together a spontaneous potluck, turned dance party, with everyone from our hometown who was living in Philly (because Brent always loved a good party and was always willing to host). The party was also a decoy for Adam and I to meet; clearly it worked. From the beginning, Brent has always been a huge part of our relationship, he was our dearest friend and a friend that we both shared before we even knew one another. So, when Adam proposed last year and we started planning our wedding, we immediately knew who would make the perfect officiant. Brent had the most charismatic spirit, he could command any room, he gave a toast at every event and he had the best humor and wit. And how amazing would it be to have our best friend marry us? He happily accepted our request and we know he was looking forward to being up there officiating our wedding this August. We know he'll be there though, and we'll save him a seat in the front row to make sure he has the best view while he watches the wedding of another couple (I know there's a lot of us) who he helped bring together with his amazing spirit. Bear with me for the next few days as I’ll be offline celebrating Brent’s amazing life. We’ll miss you friend. #LiveLikeBrent”

I’ve said it before and will say it again. Brent loved to bring people together. This past weekend, he brought a hell of a lot of people together. Caitlin and Adam’s wedding wasn’t your typical Catholic church country club wedding. It was probably THE furthest thing from that. With Caitlin’s very own wedding business, Clover Event Co., putting on over 30 weddings in 2017...I think it goes without saying that we knew she was going to truly outdo herself when it came to her own. And she did (okay, Adam too!). They created not only a wedding but an experience of a weekend called Camp Kuch.

My co-pilot, Amy, and I arrived in the Finger Lakes around lunch time on Friday. The weekend kicked off with a winery tour. I had NO idea how many wineries were in the Finger Lakes...it was crazy how many were right on top of one another. Our first stop was at Ryan William Vineyard. This vineyard was fairly new. When you walked into the tasting barn you could smell the wood and would’ve thought they just finished building the place yesterday. They had a small kitchen and seating area where some patrons were coming in just for lunch...which makes me think the food must be pretty good. Amy and I were early so we did a tasting, made friends with the vineyard kittens and then went outside enjoyed the view. It honestly felt like a crisp fall day. I would look out the window and expect to see the leaves changing. Apparently the summer weather in Ithaca is all over the place where you could have a cool fall like day like we had or have it be almost 90 degrees.

Caitlin, Adam and the rest of the gang showed up a bit later for a drink before heading to the next stop. Caitlin, a girl after my own heart, showed up in black to kick-off her wedding weekend. With such an amazing view of Seneca Lake I asked for a photo with the bride-to-be and Brent’s roommate, Ryan, who is also my roommate-to-be.

The next stop was Finger Lakes Distilling which ruled by the way. When we arrived, more of Adam’s college friends were there patiently waiting with drinks in hand. Since I was driving I stopped myself from ordering a flight of bourbons and whiskeys and opted for the cocktail tasting, ha. I had the Classic G & T: McKenzie Distiller’s Reserve Gin, Q Tonic + Lime, the FLX Mule: Vintner’s Vodka, Lime Juice + Ithaca Ginger Beer, the Blood Mary: Glen Thunder Corn Whiskey, Longbranch Bloody Mary Mix, Celery Bitters + Bacon Salt (MmMm, Bacon) and last but not least the Back Porch Tea: McKenize Bourbon Whiskey, Sweet Tea + Lemon...that last one went down a little too easy. Also, a quick FYI - the owner’s last name is McKenzie hence the name of liquors.

 After spending close to an hour at the distillery we caravaned to the next stop on the list: Two Goats Brewing. Why Two Goats? “Because dobble bock means double bock. One of the German meanings for bock is ‘billy goat’.” Two Goats is described as a small town brewpub on Seneca Lake with good beer, good beef, good people and quite the view. It was a small spot but had an awesome deck and yes, it did have quite the view. You felt like you were in an old wooden barn. There was a loft above the bar which the bartenders accessed via a ladder. I took a break at this point to rehydrate not knowing how long the tour through the vineyards, breweries and distilleries would truly be. Matt and Erin showed up at this point with their baby girl, Fiona, who quickly stole the spotlight at the bar. She was curious, laughing, loving on her mom and dad. As I was holding Fiona at one point, she played with my clover necklace Caitlin had given her associates. All I kept thinking was that this girl will hands down break some hearts in the future with those baby blues she has. You could honestly drown in those blue pools of eyes.

After cooing over and playing with Fiona I hung out with Amy, Drew and Amanda. Drew and Amanda are two of Brent’s dear friends from back home and are expecting a baby this November. (Visiting them again in Syracuse in on my list for Tour de Brent) We sat at the bar and Drew decided that this place was a good spot to slap a Live Like Brent sticker up. I agreed and he placed one in the men’s room where other stickers had been placed. Brent would’ve really dug this brewery and the food. Fun fact...there is only one item on their food menu: a roast beef sandwich on a local homemade bun, homemade au jus and topped off with a mild creamy horseradish sauce. And yes, it was delicious.

The last stop on the tour was Wagner Vineyards Estate Winery. Another spot with a gorgeous view. It was massive. They had a winery and brewery onsite along with a cafe! Amy and I did another tasting before sitting out on the deck to enjoy the view with Drew and Amanda. Amanda looked so sweet just sitting there with the lake in the background I asked if I could take a photo. Then Drew immediately said, “LET ME GET A BELLY PIC.” After we asked one or two more times she gave in. It wasn’t long after before we decided we should pack up and begin the drive to Firelight Camps a.k.a. Camp Kuch.

When we arrived we checked in at the tented lobby in the center of the grounds. Amy and I were sharing a yurt with John who later called me at 3:30am trying to find said yurt with a suit and bottle of Johnny Walker black label in hand. Try waking up at that hour half asleep after a night of drinking and describing where you are in the middle of the woods. Our yurt was a platform tent, furnished with hardwood floors, a desk, 3 lanterns which were our only source of electricity (thankfully there was a USB outlet on the back of them for phone charging), a coat/clothing rack, luggage stand two night stands, two queen sized beds with heavy quilted blankets and rustic chic-inspired furniture. Oh, and there was a huge deck with chairs off the back that overlooked a trail in the woods. They were cozy. I for one, didn’t mind “glamping” at all. Heck, I love roughing it backpacking through the woods in the rain trying to set-up camp. But I’m pretty sure Amy said two or three times, “This bed is so comfy!” I do wish I took more photos than I did this weekend but I did take a photo of the outside of our yurt - thankfully Dan captured the interior of his and Dana’s single yurt for the weekend below along with Ryan’s double which was next door to mine!

After we checked in and settled in we changed and attended the welcome dinner in the middle of the camp grounds. They had an open bar, gourmet pizzas made onsite along with other delicious foods in the tents.We hung out, drank, caught up with our friends, walked around the camp grounds and then stumbled upon the bocce ball court. Never had I ever played bocce ball...and I will say I wasn’t terrible at it. Amanda and I played against Drew and Ryan. Ryan being a pretty legit bowler was also excited to play this game for the first time. Pictured below is what I like to call Bocce Ball Biff. Also, Ryan had a thing for power stances when posing for photos the entire weekend.

After we lost to the boys we went back to the bar, got another round of drinks and sat around the fire pit for hours into the night which turned into morning. At one point, Ryan in all of his glory started tapping his toe and bouncing his hips, points at me, and puts his hand out to dance. Feeling pretty good with the cider I’d been sipping all night, he twirls me once, twice, we dance, I say, “Your turn!”, he “graciously” twirls and...doesn’t stop. Ryan twirled again and fell over one of the wooden Adirondack chairs by the fire and laid there. It happened so fast...but not really. I cried. Tears of pure laughter. I couldn’t stop. Nobody else could stop laughing either. It hurt but it hurt so good. The Lobby Tent had an open bar all night until about 1am or so...things started to get fuzzy at that point. I have no idea what we did all of those hours around the camp fire that night. I remember laughing, chatting and trying to stay warm by the fire. It truly felt like fall that evening.  As we faded, the night sky did as well. I went to bed bundled up listening to the sound of coyotes howling.

Saturday was wedding day. The group of us ate breakfast and got ready for the day ahead. I don’t know about you but the last wedding I went to I killed at least 4 episodes of ESPNs 30 for 30 from my hotel bed before heading to the ceremony. The great thing about Firelight Camp is that there are hiking trails, breweries, downtown Ithaca and things to do in the immediate area. So there wasn’t a need for a television. While our friends hiked and went out for lunch, Hannah and I worked on set up. We work with Caitlin for her company Clover Event Co. on other weddings and events so it was a no brainer to help her on her special day. Hannah and I spent the day setting up everything from the signage at the ceremony to decor and displays at the reception. It took 4 hours but that was because this wedding was well thought out...plus, the devil is in the detail. We had every single one covered...even if Caitlin did swing by to tweak! I consider myself a calm and even keeled person for events. I think what I love most about events is the internal anxiety that is immediately followed by relief from seeing the reaction to the event on everyone’s faces. It’s a weird roller coaster of emotions but satisfying.

By 3:30pm, I got ready and joined everyone for a quick drink before the ceremony. Danny was standing in the lobby tent with the boys tasting some beers he had picked up along his summer travels and he gave me a well deserved beer. Standing there I spotted Caitlin coming through the tent and begged for a quick photo knowing how tough it would be later in the evening to snag a selfie with her.

The guys and I made our way up the hill to where the ceremony was being held. A nice big green space with wooden benches and a custom wooden chevron patterned backdrop Adam made himself. I sat right behind “Brent” which was a bow tie he would’ve worn for the couple that day. Caitlin was absolutely stunning walking down that aisle and Adam never looked better standing there wearing his forest green suit and crooked smile he was trying to keep as a smirk. Ryan began the ceremony with mentioning that there would be no officiant at this wedding. He went on to explain the passing of Brent and how he had originally brought Adam and Caitlin together. I think everyone cries over Brent for different reasons. Yeah, ultimately it’s because his life was cut short. I found myself sitting there, sunglasses on, drinking my beer as I tried to keep the tears back. But I cried. I cried because it was such a sad way to start the wedding...the happiest day of Adam and Caitlin’s life together. I cried because their love is so fucking beautiful. I cried because Brent wasn’t there with me. I cried because there was a fucking bow tie sitting in front of me. Not Brent. I cried because a dragon fly showed up as Ryan wrapped up. That dragon fly hung out above Adam and Caitlin. That dragon fly sped off then hovered behind the groomsmen. I cried. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

The wedding continued. The couple exchanged vows they wrote themselves followed by haikus each had written for one another. It was beautiful. EVERYTHING was beautiful. Adam and Caitlin happened to both have a thing for haikus which is how Adam ended up prosposing to her. After the ceremony I found Ryan and gave him the biggest hug, told him he did a wonderful job, spoke beautifully and told him how much I loved him. He pulled back what seemed like to make sure he wouldn’t begin crying. I get it. But I could’ve held on for hours. We then went down to find some drinks and join the cocktail hour.

There was food, drinks, two poets on typewriters creating free custom haikus for guests, a cigar station, temporary tattoos with the Camp Kuch logo. Yes, they had their own logo for the weekend. The band, a folk/pop 5 piece band from Philadelphia called, Stella Ruze, started to play. I knew they were going to rock just from hearing them handle their mic checks during set-up. I would hands down pay money to go see them play here in the city. (Check them out!) Everyone was buzzing around the tents, fire pits and signing the guest book. This is the second time I’ve seen a Polaroid guest book and I love it. If I get married I will definitely have one at my wedding. I signed something along the lines of, “Congratulations! I don’t really know what to say sometimes. But this whiskey is for you. Cheers, Ais” Then had Josh take a photo of me tipping my drink towards the camera like Leonardo DiCaprio did in that one scene of The Great Gatsby. Then...some of us may have had a slight photo shoot session. Here’s one of my favorites from wayyyy later in the night of Amy, Amanda, Dana and myself.

We then went to find our seats at long banquet tables under the main tent. The speeches were made. Some were hilarious and some were touching. Brent was mentioned not once but several times throughout. Even if you didn’t know Brent walking into this wedding you most certainly knew who he was by the end of the night. I did have to get up and leave at one point. I went to the bar for another “East Sider” which was the bourbon cocktail for the evening. (Adam and Caitlin grew up on different sides of the valley in Northeast PA.) Hannah followed and got another drink with me. I told her I needed to go to my tent for a little and that I would be back. Honestly, I needed to check my waterproof mascara and just step away for a minute to reflect and process. I followed the winding gravel path back to my tent, number 7. I sat at the little desk, turned on the lantern, touched up my make-up, sat there and then stepped out onto the back deck looking into the woods as the sun was getting ready to set. I told Brent I missed him and wished he was there with me. After a couple of minutes in silence, I took a deep breath and went to go back to my seat as I was sure dinner was probably about to be served. As I stepped out from behind the yurt flap, I saw Hannah waiting there for me with her drink. I told her she didn’t have to wait for me and she gave me the biggest, tightest hug. We cried. She told me she doesn’t know what to do and how to take the pain away from me. Honestly, just hearing those words made me cry more than the fact that Brent wasn’t there. Just seeing Brent’s friends upset or reaching out to me is what gets to me sometimes. Just that they’re hurting or just for the simple fact that they care so much about me. It’s so touching it makes me grateful to the point where I just cry. After we got ourselves back together, checked one another’s make up, we went back to our seats.

Dinner was family style which rocked. I haven’t been to many weddings that have done this but it’s definitely a unique way to serve dinner. Josh and I somehow ended up losing Hannah and Amy. So I made Amy’s dish and Josh made Hannah’s. I started snapping photos which is a new thing for me. I was never one to pester for photos but after losing Brent I didn’t care. Take. The. Photo. You won’t regret it. And here’s Josh...with Hannah.

Amanda looked so cute in her dresses and baby bump all weekend I couldn’t not take photos of her. The food and conversation was great but once the band took the stage we all grabbed our drinks and hit the dance floor as the sun finally began to set.

P.S. - I LOVE this photo of Hannah. As the night went on, we danced and drank. I missed having Brent on the dance floor. That’s one thing we looked forward to at every wedding. Dancing. I’m extremely thankful that we were able to make Josh and Hannah’s wedding this past June to get a couple more dances in. Neither of us knew that they would be our last. But at one point Ryan came through the crowd and pulled me out for a song. More twirling happened. This time without any falls. Then the temporary tattoos were going everywhere. Hannah and Josh started placing tipi/yurts on my arm but I when Josh asked for one on the side of his neck. I said, “Sure, but let me roll with this.” Please note that this stayed on his neck through Monday. Also, Josh has nailed the “I’m not going to look at the camera and do an awkward gaze” pose a little too well.

The band covered everything from The Grateful Dead to The Lumineers. Caitlin had already told me a while back that they would play John Denver’s “Country Roads” for Brent. As soon as those first few chords played without hesitation, we all took one another, arm in arm, and started singing, “Almost heaven, West Virginia...” By the end of the song Caitlin was in tears. She grabbed me and told one another how much we loved each other and of course how much we wished Brent was there with us. As many of you probably know, any time “Country Roads” ended Brent and his buds would then begin a chant, “Eat shit Pitt! Eat Shit Pitt!” This was due to an old rivalry between West Virginia University and the University of Pittsburgh. So when the song concluded, I put my fist in the air and I chanted...And chanted...And chanted.

Then Adam came up to me and said, “Um Ais, you know my sister went to Pitt, right?” We laughed and I told him at the moment I just didn’t care. He gave me a big hug and told me how much he loved me. SO much lovin’ was going on this weekend. I of course told him how much him and Caitlin meant to me too. Brent’s friends keep tabs on me in different ways. Some of them will hit me up just checking in on what I’ve been up to and how I’m doing. Others will have me over for dinner. Adam texts me once in a while and reminds me he loves me and whether I like it or not he’s going to be in my life. I’ve had that said to me on multiple occasions, “You’re not getting rid of us.” or “I hope you know you’re not going anywhere.” And I know all of this. But keep the reminders coming because I appreciate hearing those words.

As the night went on our group ended up going back to Danny and Dana’s tent for “a night cap” before going back to our own yurts to hit the sheets. I snagged my favorite photo of the weekend. You can bet your money that it will end up framed in our apartment. Yes, it’s Ryan in another power stance.

As I’m trying to wrap up this post, I’m not sure the proper way to do so. I can go on about brunch the next morning and try to describe the weather and just keep telling you how beautiful it was. But on my drive back to Philadelphia with Amy I made a pit stop to see Brent. Dan and Dana had visited him the other week and left a Phish Baker’s Dozen Tour cup for him at his grave. Every time I stop by I play a song for him. As I took my #CampKuch koozie from the weekend out of my bag, I placed it on the cup and played “Farmhouse” by Phish. It’s my favorite Phish song and only one I really know. They played it at the first Phish show Brent took me to in the summer of 2016. I was stunned when I heard them play it.

Caitlin and Adam, I know you’ve probably heard this a thousand times already but your wedding weekend was stellar and picture perfect. Dan, Dana, Ryan, Koren, Drew, Amanda, Dave, John, Amy, Matt, Erin, Josh and Hannah...YOU guys are stellar. I love you. Brent loves you. I’m sure Brent is extremely thankful that I have you all. Please know that I am too.

Photo Credit: APGcollective, Caitlin Kuchemba, Dan Young Blood, Ryan Chmiola, Dave Koval

Please check out APGcollective’s dreamy photos from the weekend linked here!

[livelikebrent]

Stop 3: Charlottesville, VA

**Please Note: I was in Charlottesville the weekend before the rally**

Standing at Brent’s wake I was touched by how many friends had traveled to say goodbye to their friend and the ones that showed up to support me. As dozens of people came through the doors they slowly turned into hundreds and dare I even say thousands? Okay, it was “just” under 2,000. That evening there were times where a million thoughts were flying through my head and at other times I was caught just starring blankly at the carpet. One of the reoccurring thoughts and things I said to some of these friends, “I’m so sorry this is the reason I’m seeing you again.” But I thought about it as I was hugging, kissing, crying and shaking hands with these people that I decided this didn’t have to be the last time I saw them. Or this didn’t have to be their last memory of Brent, his family, and myself. So I came up with Tour de Brent.

It was late on a Sunday night creeping into Monday morning where I looked up the weather in Charlottesville, Virginia for the week and upcoming weekend. It was about a 4.5 hour drive from Philadelphia. One of Brent’s college buds, Broocks, grew up and lived there now with his wife and two little boys. He came up for the wake and funeral and I was able to spend a little time with him afterwards at Rodano’s. A couple of years ago, Brent and I took a road trip to Ashville, North Carolina for another West Virginia University friend’s wedding, "Iowa John’s.” Enroute, we swung through Charlottesville to meet up with Broocks and get breakfast together. So with the weather looking pretty stellar for the entire week, I ended up reaching out to Broocks asking if he by any chance had plans for the coming weekend. The only plans Broocks and his family had for the weekend was taking the boys to the county fair. They welcomed me with open arms into their home.

I was completely fine with driving myself. I had done a lot of that the last year of my life but I remembered Brendan having his summer off. Brendan is one of Brent’s friends from home. According the Brendan, they met in September of 1989 at kindergarten. He came around to Philadelphia a lot whether Brent was in the hospital or perfectly healthy. After Brent had passed, there were many people that reached out to me daily and Brendan was one of them. He’s an athletic trainer for a high school so I figured I better take advantage of him having time off during the week (must be nice) to tag along. Without hesitation he was on board for a long weekend trip to Charlottesville and a hike through the Shenandoah National Park.

Brendan picked me up Friday afternoon and we headed south. What was originally a 4.5 hour car ride quickly turned into 6 but I didn’t mind. Broocks wasn’t getting out from work until about 10pm but we still wanted to try and catch some of the band that was playing at his work in town: Three Sheets To The Wind. Their genre? “Yacht Rock”...they’re a cover band that dress in Tommy Bahama and play various crowd pleasing covers. I mean, wouldn’t you want to catch at least on song that evening? We sure did. On the ride, we talked about everything...work, family stuff, music, Brent, what had happened and how I was. I appreciated some of the questions that Brendan asked me. Some I’ve heard half a dozen times and others no one had asked me or had acknowledged. One question he did ask me during this car ride was, “Has anyone given you any piece of advice that you have found helpful or took comfort in?” It took me a moment. I have had many people reaching out to comfort me, give (warranted and unwarranted) advice and opinions. I had a family friend write me a lovely card. She had lost her son (Let’s call him Jason* for the sake of this post) to leukemia several years back. Similar to Brent, he overcame his cancer but it came back and started to cause problems. She wrote this to me...

“...You can’t go back and say “What if?” You have to be confident with the choices you made and the love you shared. I thought I would “crash and burn” when Jason* passed, but I couldn’t because he wouldn’t want me to! Jason* gifted me reasons to go on and share his love - Our “Jason*’s Hugs” blankets and Jason*’s Camp Flip Flops share his love through us. And...he is always “just beyond my reach”! It’s your path! Fill it with the love you shared! The greatest gift - love!...”

While that piece of advice may be obvious to some of you, it’s also nice to hear it. Some things also aren’t so obvious when you are so close to what has been happening. When Brent would talk about death with me I would entertain the conversation because it was important to address. We couldn’t act oblivious to the fact that death was very much a possibility for Brent. He had concerns that he would make known to me: 1. He didn’t want to die 2. What would happen to me and where would I end up? I would tell him we would cross that bridge when we got to it and we weren’t even close. Then I told him a million times over and over again that dreadful night in the hospital, that morning he passed, everyday leading up to and throughout his funeral that I will be okay, even though I wasn’t. This brings me back to why I’m traveling. I believe that Brent would be heartbroken if he saw me laying around my apartment unmotivated, mourning and not living...or as stated earlier, “crash and burn.” Brent and I missed out on a lot when he was sick and he always felt so guilty for that. He wanted me out and about and not hold me back from anything. So that’s what I’m doing. All of this traveling to see friends again and writing about memories new and old isn’t just for me. These are my reasons “to go on” and Brent is very much a reason and he is with me on every single trip.

We rolled into Charlottesville just after 8pm and caught the last few songs of the final set at the Sprint Pavilion where Broocks is the Operations Manager. The Sprint Pavilion hosts everything from town events and cover bands to Bruce Springsteen. Broocks grabbed us a couple of beers, Starr Hill was one of the main breweries, as he was wrapping up his night and we watched the band. I asked for a Starr Hill because I remembered that Broocks and Brent traded a couple beers on our road trip...and that brewery being one of them. After the band played their final song, Brendan and I walked up and down downtown Charlottesville looking for a spot to eat. What is really neat about Charlottesville is that while restaurants and shops line the brick walkway, down the center of said walkway each restaurant has a fenced in courtyard area with outdoor seating. Literally, every restaurant. So we chose Miller’s Downtown. I had remembered Broocks mentioning Dave Matthews had some sort of involvement with the establishment.

Turns out he used to bar tend there when he was first starting out. We didn’t step a foot inside and dined al fresco. I can’t comment on the ambiance of Miller’s but we people-watched, had burgers and beers which were decent then started making our way back to the warehouse of the Sprint Pavilion. Broocks was busy setting up pong and waiting with a refrigerator full of “hospitality beers.” On the end of the downtown strip before you hit the Pavilion is the Freedom of Speech Wall which I had already had plans for later during our visit. There’s chalk and people come by and write whatever they feel like on the slated structure. When Brent and I visited a couple of years back I remember him drawing the flying WVU logo as photographed below by Broocks!

We opened the doors to the warehouse and there was Broocks amidst a group of friends chatting, laughing, and playing beer pong with music playing in the background. Broocks is such a happy guy and I feel like he brings a smile to everyone’s face as soon as you see him. He welcomed us, made sure we were introduced to everyone and got us some drinks which happened to be from Starr Hill again. Broocks and Brendan chatted, they had never met one another. When I originally asked Broocks if Brendan could visit with me for the weekend he said, “Any friend of Brent’s is a friend of mine.”  Brent was always about bringing people together and I plan to continue to do that for him. I had already received the grand tour of the warehouse but Broocks showed Brendan and me around. The warehouse is honestly a man cave...but you’re at work with all of your event equipment.

Brendan and I ended up chatting for a while with a kid named Jake. He was really passionate about fly fishing, used to work at the Sprint Pavilion and attended Marshall University. I believe that is literally all we talked about. He seemed to be an honest, nice and easy-going individual. He didn’t stick around all night as he had to get up early the next day for his fly fishing camp he taught. As we were standing there next to this filing cabinet filled with stickers we started looking for a spot for Brent. There was a perfect spot on the top draw right next to a Starr Hill sticker. Jake asked about the stickers and I told him about Brent, Carve 4 Cancer and why we were in town to begin with. He was blown away and said his family has a house in the Poconos not terribly far from where Carve had been held. He immediately asked if he could have a sticker so he too could “Live Like Brent.” I gave one to him without thinking twice.

We woke up the next day to Broocks introducing Bodie to Brendan and me. Bodie is a cute blonde pup that loves playing fetch. He will literally go all day long. That’s what she said. Our next introduction was to Nolan, Jen and Broock’s 3 year old son who loves everything about cars. Then last but not least we were blessed with Jen and Nash’s presence a 3 month old who had been on his best behavior all weekend. I kid you not when I say I did not hear the child cry once. We actually knew what we would be having for breakfast that morning because Broocks had been insisting and chatting about it the night before. Bodo’s Bagels offers something called a “Deli-Egg Bagel” and it’s flipping delish. Ultimately it’s meat scraps mixed into the egg on your whatever egg and cheese sandwich. Broocks picked up breakfast from Bodo’s as the rest of us had coffee on their deck. We played fetch with Bodie while Nolan sang us a couple of songs and danced around like a wild man. Side note: Brendan was the perfect guest. Nolan and Bodie both fell in love with him and immediately all became best friends. It also helped that Brendan could speak about Cars all day long...as in the movie, Cars. After breakfast the Meade Family packed up and went to the Albemarle County Fair as Brendan and I headed towards the Blue Ridge Parkway on Skyline drive to hike through the Shenandoah National Park.

This photo is of Brent and me back in 2015. We did a similar drive but a bit longer on the Parkway and ended up hiking Humpback Rock which had an elevation of 3,080 feet. It was beautiful. I decided that this time around we would do something different and saw there were a couple of falls trails. The drive through the park was a solid 20 minutes to reach the trail base. Again, I didn’t mind...the entire drive through the Shenandoah is scenic with the trees, dozens of overlooks and winding roads. Another thing I didn’t mind was that it felt like fall that morning. It may have been just about 70 degrees if that. It was gorgeous.

We ended up on an 8 mile hike starting at the Jone’s Run and connecting to the Doyle’s River Falls loop. The water wasn’t terribly high. Before we left the house Jen mentioned that they haven’t received much rain this summer. It was completely fine and still a solid hike. We saw three falls, two of which were on the Doyle’s River trail which were 63′ and 28′ followed by the Jones Falls that was 42′. It was a long downhill hike followed by a long uphill. I may have said to Brendan at one point, “I don’t understand how this is an ‘intermediate’ trail.”...We were still very much on the downhill portion. My glutes later confirmed that it was very much an intermediate hike. The trails were shady for the most part and the weather honestly couldn’t have been better for an August hike. At one point we were on part of the Appalachian Trail which was neat. Brent had talked about wanting to hike the entire trail in one shot...I couldn’t imagine doing that. But fun fact: Broocks has hiked 150 miles of the AT (not in one shot but still v. impressive)! By the time Brendan and I hit mile 7 out of 8 on the hike I was most definitely ready for food. A deli-egg can only hold you for so long. When we finally looped back to the trail base where the car was parked we stopped to take in the scene once again but with a feeling of accomplishment this time around. We took a couple of photos before getting in the car for another scenic ride to Crozet, VA for some grub.

During the car ride down in between singing Fat Joe and Usher songs, Brendan made sure I was aware how ready his stomach was for smoked meat on this trip. I took note. Broocks had told us before we left for our hike about a place that had awesome smoked barbecue called Smoked Kitchen and Tap...how fitting.  I couldn’t get a photo fast enough for the before photo. But this will have to do!  We ordered hickory smoked brisket, ribs, fried chicken (with a side of maple syrup), cornbread, creamed corn with jalapeno and cole slaw. My mouth is watering again. The meat literally fell off of the bone. Smoked also has it’s own line of sauces. Carolina Firewater was hands down my favorite. I’m not a huge fan of barbecue sauce...I prefer savory. This was a vinegar based hot barbecue sauce and it ruled.

After we had our “snack” we headed back to the Meade’s to clean-up and head out to dinner with the family and then go see a show downtown with Broocks. After we cleaned up we hung out on their patio, played fetch with Bodie, I told Jen what had happened with Brent in those final 12 hours of his life and drank a couple of beers...some of which were yes, Starr Hill along with beer I had brought. Brent collected growlers. Knowing Broocks was into craft beer just like Brent I took Brent’s Crime and Punishment Brewing growler and filled it up with one of Broock’s favorite types of beer, an English brown ale called Bad Haircut. I gave it as a gift and a ‘thank you’ for not only just allowing us to stay in his home but for being a part of Brent’s life.

Broocks wanted to bring us to a place called Kardinal Hall (a cardinal - I know!) which was a German style beer hall. It was great. I will say it again...the weather was perfect. We were able to snag a seat outside so Nolan could play and we could enjoy the ambiance of the evening. We chatted WVU and Broocks explained how he knew Brent. In his own words, “It’s all a bit foggy”...I find this a common theme when you ask any of the WVU boys how they’ve met. But ultimately, Broocks met Brent through our dear friend Dan who grew up with Brent and ended up attending college together. One night Broocks went over to Dan’s apartment and ended up meeting his neighbors below him and the rest is history...or just a bit “foggy.” Speaking of how people have met, I’ve mentioned Starr Hill several times in this post and in my last post I noticed that there was a Starr Hill sticker where I placed my #LiveLikeBrent sticker at Assateague Island. Well, it turns out that Starr Hill plays quite the roll in the Meade household...and I don’t mean that because that the one beer their refrigerator was stocked with either. Jen was in Charlottesville for a work conference several years ago. She fell in love with the town and during her visit she stopped at...wait for it...Star Hill Brewery. Broocks just so happened to stop at the brewery that night and took a seat next to her. Honestly...Starr Hill should put out a “meade” to honor this couple. I feel as though their life is sponsored by Starr Hill and not just by choice.We stayed for just a couple of hours and by the time 8:30pm rolled around we packed things up so Jen and Broocks could put the kids down for bed.

P.S. Let’s all acknowledge Broocks’ shirt he chose to wear. It’s a Brent Mydland shirt that Brent made back in college with some friends. Super appropriate for this weekend!

After Brendan and Nolan were done chatting Cars, Broocks took us to the downtown mall to The Jefferson Theater to see a Charlottesville all-star Grateful Dead cover band play called Alligator. The Jefferson reopened only in 2009 but was established in 1912 as a live performance theater that played silent movies, vaudeville acts and hosted a historic list of live performers, ranging from Harry Houdini to The Three 
Stooges. It’s a neat venue that reminded me a bit like The Troc in Philadelphia...but a bit nicer. When we walked in, Broocks already had tickets set aside for us. While he only asked for three tickets, his friends at the venue set aside four. Even though Broocks told them twice he didn’t need the fourth ticket they just insisted that he took it. Broocks looked at us and said “Then this one is for Brent.” We got to the show in time for their second act and they played really well! One thing I did notice is that there was a woman on stage. I mentally face palmed and thought, “Donna Jean.” As soon as she started singing, Broocks leaned over to Brendan and I vocalizing my thoughts. “Donna Jean ruined so many songs!” It was true but the woman up there did a great job. We hung out on the floor for a while and then Broocks gave us a tour. He gave one to Brent and I when we swung through town briefly but the venue was empty. So it was neat to be able to watch the band from various spots throughout the theater.

We walked around the venue and got another round of drinks. Broocks knew the bartender...well, Broocks knows everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had told me he was actually the mayor of Charlottesville. They were chatting about what was planned for the following weekend downtown, the Alt-Right rally. The group had done everything properly as far as organizing their event in the downtown mall, permits, paperwork etc. But The Jefferson Theater was concerned about the safety of their patrons and how packed the mall may become. It was to the point where the venue was considering cancelling their concerts that had been booked for that weekend. I honestly don’t think anyone knew what to expect and couldn’t have imagined what actually ended up happening. All I know is that if Brent were still alive and with us on the trip he would have been beside himself knowing we had just been there. I've been sick to my stomach thinking about it as well.

After the show, Broocks took us to one of his favorite spots downtown called, Jack Brown’s. He mentioned that they were having a silent disco outside for a portion of the night and we could check it out if we wanted. As soon as he said that, I looked at him and Brendan and asked, “Have you EVER participated in a silent disco?!” The answer from both of them was no and I told them we had to go to it. So we went inside, snagged a couple of seats at the bar and drank. I thoroughly enjoyed the place...it was a dive. Bras hanging from one of the “chandeliers”, vintage beer cans lining the ceiling and a fairly extensive bottle and can selection. Mind you, I asked Broocks to take us where he would’ve brought Brent had he been in town for the night. Broocks said Brent took him once to get a hubcap burger at The White Haven Family Diner back home in Pennsylvania so Broocks wanted to take him out for a burger at Jack Brown’s. Plus, there was a great spot for a sticker to be thrown up. I’m also just noticing now another Starr Hill sticker in this photo.

After we had a couple of drinks we went outside to the silent disco. For those of you unfamiliar with this rad concept I’ll explain it! Everyone had a pair of wireless headphones that are controlled by two DJs. One DJ is “blue” and the other “green.” On the side of your headphones you have two controls: 1. Volume 2. A station switch. For the station switch you can either tune into what the blue DJ is playing or switch over to what the green DJ is playing. The DJs were located on balconies outside of the bar above everyone singing and dancing. So if the green DJ sees everyone’s headphone beginning to light up blue then he will change the song he’s playing in hopes to get everyone back over to their station. Mind you, if you don’t have the headphones on...you can’t hear the music. Randomly, I would take my headphones off and hear people singing out of tune to the same song and dancing. It was like being in a completely different world when you had your headphones on jamming out.

Broocks and Brendan couldn’t have enjoyed themselves any more than they did. We were all singing, dancing, drinking and telling one another when a noteworthy song came on the other DJ’s channel and to switch. We were only able to catch the last hour of the disco and could’ve gone on for another hour had the DJs kept it going. Final song of the night? Queen B’s “Love on Top” ... to say the very least it was a great way to wrap up the silent disco.

The silent disco was the highlight of the night. But I will say there was a very close second. I introduce to you: Mike Jones a.k.a. the “C-Ville Clapper.” As we were walking down the mall, Broocks pointed out a gentleman in camo with a bicycle. “You guys see that guy!? That guy is SO annoying. He’s the C-Ville Clapper.” The C-Ville Clapper stands on the soap box next to the Freedom of Speech Wall and...yes, slow claps. All. Day. Long. Broocks says it gets to the point where people working inside of the offices downtown get annoyed by the constant noise of the slow clap. Broocks approached him to find out his real name, “Well, I’m Mike Jones!” he said and shook Broocks’ hand. The three of us buzzed died laughing hearing that and looking at this guy. We walked and talked with him for a bit. Then he looked at us and asked us to follow him down the alley. We all looked at one another and said in various forms, “Nah, I’m good man.” But he told us, “I’m a bad boy, I’ll take you to the moon.” Again. Dead. Laughing.

After the disco and walk with Mike Jones we ended up at The Whiskey Jar for a night cap. Another spot that Broocks would’ve brought Brent. The name of this bar certainly described the place pretty well. The place was buzzin’ with a wedding party along with other patrons. It had bottles on bottles of all sorts of whiskeys and brown liquors that I had never even heard of before sitting pretty on shelves.

There was a little jazz band playing in the back corner behind us. Brent would’ve really liked this place. I could picture him sitting at one of the tables with a whiskey neat bobbing his head and tapping his toes to the band. We shut down the bar and grabbed a ride home. The three of us spent the next hour talking about Brent. The wake. The funeral. How terrible it all really is. Then we called it a night.

Sunday was for two things: Ace Biscuit and Barbecue and taking over a portion of the Freedom of Speech Wall. When Brent and I came down to meet up with Broocks we started with breakfast. Broocks suggested Ace and I’m so glad he did. It is absolutely delish. One of my favorite things about this place is that they have an ODB sandwich on the menu - Ol’ Dirty Biscuit. Tip: You can make any menu item “dirty” by adding sausage gravy. Plus, the fact that the name of the establishment is also my nickname made me like the joint even more.

Looking back I wish I had a photo taken of the three of us. But sometimes it’s just easier to be living in the moment. We ordered our breakfast and sat back at a picnic table anxiously waiting for our meals. I LOVE biscuits and was waiting all weekend for my Ace sausage, egg and smoked pimento cheese biscuit breakfast sandwich. I couldn’t tell you what the boys ordered because I was too focused on waiting for my own. My food didn’t stand a chance and I didn’t even think about snapping a photo. So this photo of the mural outside will have to do! 

We went back inside, I bought a t-shirt (bummed they are always “sold out” of their OBD shirts) and asked permission to place a sticker on the mixer sitting up at the register. As I was doing so, a couple of the employees asked what the sticker was for. We told them the story and the last time we were there was with Brent and had to come back. They immediately cleared off a spot right on the front of the mixer for Brent so everyone could see it. The employees couldn’t have been nicer and more supportive.

After Ace we made our way back to downtown to work on the Freedom of Speech wall. We bought some chalk and chalk pens, borrowed a bucket and straight edges from Broock’s warehouse and went to town on that wall. We probably could have completed the project in less time but every so often a group or individual would stand there and ask what we were doing or who Brent was. At first Brendan and I would both stop what we were doing to chat with the group or individual...but it became so frequently asked that we ended up alternating who would tell the story. Some people said, “Oh” and then there would be others that were so extremely touched by the story and what we were doing. One women embraced my sweaty body and hugged me tight and wished me the absolute best. That meant a lot to me coming from a complete utter stranger. But then alas! We completed the hashtag in 2.5 hours! Shout out to Brendan for his first and claimed this to be his last “art installation.”

As we made our way back to the Meade household we passed a cardinal mural on the side of a building not too far from the house. As we passed, Brendan asked if I wanted him to stop to take a photo. As I was thinking about my response and if I felt like stopping he said, “Sometimes the cardinal comes to you and sometimes you have to go to the cardinal.” He whipped his car around and told me to go stand against the wall. I’m glad he did.

When we got back to the house it was mid afternoon and Brendan and I packed up and said our ‘goodbyes’ to Jen and Broocks. Jen told us that Nolan will be very upset when he wakes up from his nap to see his friends have vanished. The kid could’ve literally laid next to Brendan talking about cars and watching car videos for hours on end. If he doesn’t end up doing something with cars when he gets older I will be astounded to say the least. As we were walking out of the house Brendan asked if I’d like to swing through Washington D.C. since it was on the way home...I figured why not? We were going to be sitting in D.C. traffic anyway. Brendan also mentioned that since Brent loved history and we could visit the World War II monument for him. I liked that idea.  As we were leaving Virginia, Brendan elbowed me. I looked at him and he nodded in the direction of a truck passing us on the right. He casually said, “Look at the license plate.” I chuckled but was thinking, “You have got to be kidding me.” It said, “BBRENT.” Photographed below, Brent decided to join us for a bit on the ride to D.C..

We walked around the monuments, chatted and again just enjoyed the beautiful weather we were blessed with that weekend before heading back north to Pennsylvania. I just want to say thank you once again to Jen and Broocks for your generosity and spending a weekend with me for Brent! Thank you to Brendan for being my photographer and chauffeur for the entire weekend. I couldn’t have asked for better company.

Photo Credit: Brendan Moriarty, Broocks Meade and Jen Meade

[livelikebrent]

Stop 2: Part 2: Saturday in Ocean City, MD

Saturday after Brent’s funeral had perfect weather. We loaded up the Jeeps and headed down to Assateague Island to drive on the beach. Brent loved staying on the West side of Ocean City. He’d always say, "There’s less riffraff out here.” It was true. The bars, restaurants and beaches had more of a local’s vibe and you wouldn’t get the shoobies and riffraff from the boardwalk. But he absolutely loved bringing the cars onto the OSV (Over Sand Vehicle) portion of the island to set up “camp” for the day. Assateague Island had also become my favorite beach over the years as well. This National Seashore is known for two things: 1. The beach that stretches from Maryland down into Virginia, and 2. The wild horses. That’s right. Wild horses graze, run, and walk all over your towels on the shore line. It’s really pretty and pretty annoying when you’re starving and all you want to do is eat your Wawa breakfast sandwich but can’t take it out until the horses move on. That happened to Brent and me last summer. 

You see the horses all of the time. As you’re cruising on the winding drive through the wetlands to the beach they’ll be hanging out in the brush and on the shoulder. You may be unloading chairs from your vehicle in the parking lot and turn around to see one watching you. I’ve witnessed people not being able to get out of the bathroom because there are a couple of them hanging out by the door. It’s entertaining. Below is a still photo captured from a video of Brent’s. You might recall him telling you about this sight - He caught one of the horses cooling off in the bay one day when he was down with his buddy, Josh from Colorado. He was so proud of not only capturing but witnessing this moment.

As I was packing stickers for the weekend down at the beach, in my head I was going through the spots that were necessary to tag. The two obvious ones were Teasers at Sunset Grille and Assateague. I did question at first how the hell I was going to tag a sticker for Brent at his favorite beach. But by Saturday morning, I already knew where I wanted to place it before we even left the house for the day. Just like I did, you’d probably think it would be difficult to get a sticker up at a National Seashore that wouldn’t be considered vandalism, harming the environment, etc. Remember, this isn’t a beach with surfaces, a boardwalk or trash bins. It’s a straight up beach. I recalled there being a pipe by the air machine as you leave the island. It had always been covered in stickers. We caravanned on over and I drove the Cream Puff (Jared’s Jeep) up to the entrance as Ryan and his family followed. While Jared worked on letting air out of the tires, I threw on Brent’s Thrasher snapback and walked over to the other side to scout out a spot on the pipe with Amy. 

Obviously, “Dean-A-Palooza Big Dawgs Last Meal” had already occupied the best spot on the pipe. I couldn’t argue with that sticker so I found a spot about half way down. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that some shmoe doesn’t come by and cover it up like they did to the “Fat Daddy” sticker. I will definitely be back to all of these locations to check up on them regardless. Ain’t nobody gonna treat #LiveLiveBrent like a Fat Daddy.

We spent a couple of hours at the beach. As soon as we got there, a dragon fly would not leave us alone. It settled and landed on Amy’s leg. She looked at me and asked, “You know what dragonflies mean, right?” I told her no and that I noticed this one wanted to hang out with us for some reason. She said, “They’re a sign of loved ones that passed.” I had no idea. I mentioned in my last post that I’ve heard different stories and signs of how a loved one is near but yeah...dragonflies are a thing. It hung around a little while longer and I noticed it fly into the passenger window of Jared’s Jeep. It landed on his hat and sunglasses and remained there until we left the beach hours later.

I spent some time alone out in the ocean that day. Tears were shed as I reflected and remembered spending hours out there with Brent in summers past. Floating. Chatting. Swimming in silence and taking it all in. But, on this day, the entire time I was out there, I felt completely and utterly calm. I’ve honestly felt this way for the last two weeks. I’m not sure why but I feel as if Brent has been giving me this sense of calmness and strength that I can’t quite explain. But then again, he always said I was one of the most even-keeled human beings he had ever met. He liked that about me but also would tell me it kept him guessing at times.

Jared was a couple of yards away in the ocean. I was so glad he came to the beach with us that day. Typically when we would go down to the beach houses, Brent and I would meet up with Kevin and Janelle who would also be down for several days at a time. We’d go out, get into a mess of shenanigans, always attend the annual Brewgrass Festival together and whatnot. But I had never had as much one-on-one time with Jared as I did this one weekend at the beach. I am so glad I did. He has such a positive and upbeat vibe to him. He made me laugh a lot that weekend. Brent adores his cousin. You know what? I do too.

Just for fun - this picture above is from last summer down at the beach on Assateague. At this point last year he had already started his treatment but we always made sure to make the best of those off days. We lotioned the hell out of one another that day. Brent also wore all of his UPF sun protecting clothing that summer. He flippin’ LOVED gear. He had gear for the beach, snow, mountains...everything. I think it’s safe to say we all know that about him and that he always had some of the nicest clothing when it came to being outside...okay, inside too. This was also the day the horses were trotting up and down the beach and the water was so blue! I don’t think I need to explain why this has become a favorite beach of mine anymore. 

Speaking of favorites...this brings us to our final destination in OCMD: Teasers at Sunset Grille.  Later Saturday night, Amy, Kevin, Jared and I headed over to “the horseshoe” which is a section of West Ocean City where several bars are located around the marina. Ps. If you want time away from the craziness of OCMD, definitely spend time over here. We stopped by Harborside for dinner and drinks. Harborside claims to be the home of the original fresh squeezed orange crush. Don’t know what an orange crush is? Pause right now, Google it, think, “That actually does sound really refreshing” and come back to continue reading. It’s a cocktail that is consumed regularly down in Ocean City. Anyway, this spot is almost always jamming and a good time with good tunes. We sweat straight through our clothes, slugged back some crushes and ordered some food. It was extremely humid that evening. It was so hot that Kevin had a Bud Light in hand. If you don’t know Kevin...he is THE beer connoisseur. He can probably talk about beer longer than a Phish set that includes "Tweezer” and not the reprise version half of you saw on the Baker’s Dozen Tour.  If a brewery has a can release, the average person will buy one or a couple but Kevin and Janelle walk out with seven...cases. Sorry I need to pause and just that Brent has some awesome cousins. So yes, it was Bud Light hot that night.

Every bar and restaurant on the marina has a wonderful view. As we sat there, we stepped out on the deck in hopes for a sunset and some fresh air. But we actually had quite the view of a gloomy storm starting to approach us.

Before we got too comfortable watching the clouds roll in, we walked over to Teasers. Also, had Brent been sitting there with us he would’ve rattled off the type of clouds rolling in. I’m not sure if he did that with everyone. But there would be times we would be driving and I’d say something about the shapes of the clouds and I’d get a response, “WelI, those cool clouds are actually Cumulonimbus clouds, Aisling.” Those are definitely some of the things I will miss.

I honestly cannot recall a time where we went down to the beach and did not end up at Teasers at some point. I don’t think I can emphasize it enough - Brent loved everything about this place. The ambiance is just always on point.  It’s an open air bar with a floating outdoor band stage out on the marina. I’ve actually ended up booking bands for some of my events from seeing them live at Teasers first. This place was also always great for a sunset. If Brent could, he would have had our wedding there. Ha, but I think it’s safe to say that any structured venue wouldn’t have been big enough for us. I mean, come on...you stood in that line that night. He was and still is a very loved individual.

As we sat down at the bar, I was again unsure where we would be able to throw a sticker up. I figured at the very least I could put it under the bar so it wouldn’t be taken down. But it turns out that there are stickers slapped up in a couple locations inside. I asked the bar tender for 3 minutes of his time, explained why we were there and asked permission to put a sticker up. The bartender saw the manager (actually I believe it was the owner) and told him what I was doing. I got up and stuck one right on the side of the cash register. It’s in plain sight where anyone on the left side of the bar could see it. This specific location was certainly the most important one on the trip and I know right now Brent is proud that I was able to get one up there for him. Actually, I take that back. He’s probably critiquing and saying I should’ve covered that one side of the cash register. Sorry, Uncle B.

As I was placing the sticker up, Jared got hold of the manager/owner. He told him where we were from, why we were there and why Teasers is such an important establishment to us. As I walked back to my seat on the other side of the bar Jared stopped me. The owner asked us to bring in a photo of Brent to be placed on the ceiling. I know that sounds awkward if you’ve never been to Teasers but inside of this dockside bar is a vaulted ceiling with different items on it. It’s like Billy Murphy’s Irish Saloon but...beachy fishing decor...in a sense. So the next time I’m down you bet a framed photo of Brent Patrick Evans will be hung in his favorite spot.

I’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again, I am overwhelmed by the incredible support that I am oh so lucky to have. Thanks to Amy for being my personal photographer and beach bud for the weekend. As always, thank you to Brent’s family for such a special weekend down at their beach home.

Photo Credit: Amy Kroll 

[livelikebrent]

Stop 2: Part 1: Friday in Ocean City, MD

This is part one of two for my weekend down in Ocean City, Maryland. But this post will be my favorite one for quite some time. 

Amy and I high-tailed it out of Philadelphia and down to Ocean City, Maryland the Friday after Brent’s funeral. Brent’s parents bought a beach house a couple of houses down from his aunt and uncle’s spot. Brent loved Ocean City and had been spending summers there ever since he was young. What started out as family vacations with family friends, turned into Brent and his crew getting rowdy in their own rentals and hotel rooms to then crashing with his cousins at their house. Recently, Brent and his brother Ryan (I’m sure, their mother as well) had been dropping more than subtle hints…such as pulling up house listings to chat about and finally received Mr. Evans’ “blessing” more or less. It finally happened this past November and Brent told me, “I never thought I’d see the day.” I’m glad he did.

As we made our way down, I reached out to Brent’s cousins, Jared and Janelle, along with his brother to ensure dinner plans were as much of a priority to them as Amy and me. There are endless options for dinner or where to get fresh seafood as well. But I had a special request for my first trip without physically having Brent by my side. It was a place I’ve been wanting to go and in return, Brent had wanted to take me but we simply never got around to it. It is called Mother’s Cantina. It’s a small joint that I knew nothing about…but for some odd reason had been drawn to it.

Everyone agreed to go to Mother’s so we headed over for a late supper. As soon as we walked in, I was into the ambiance. It was small, filled with eclectic Tex-Mex decor…and some Washington Redskins paraphernalia hanging from the rafters. Yeah, apparently it’s a Redskins watch bar. The place was split with two sides: a bar side and a cafe side. Due to the wait, we ended up with a table in the cafe. I didn’t mind because honestly, I figure any restaurant with a wait is a positive sign. We get our table for 8. Our waiter approached, a gnarly skater that looked to be in his mid to late 30′s. I couldn’t help but notice and stare at his giant tattoo on his shin. It was the Oakland Raiders’ logo. Now, I’m not going to stop and say, “Whoa, that’s a sign because it’s Brent’s favorite football team.” But who is a Raiders fan in Ocean City, Maryland? I didn’t make mention of it but smirked and figured it was just a coincidence.  We had a filling dinner of beers, guac burritos and tacos to name a few and were kept busy by Brent’s beloved 3 year old niece, Finley. P.S. - Order the fish tacos and get them sauteed not fried! By the time we wrapped up, Brent’s brother and sister-in-law took Fin home for bed. The remainder of us decided to go sit at the bar for a drink or three and find a spot for a sticker.

The bar was packed. Brent’s cousin, Jared, disappeared. When he came back with a Natty Boh in hand, he said he tagged the bathroom. Solid tag but I wanted everyone to be able to see the sticker for this location. I asked Jared to show me where he placed his “#LiveLikeBrent” sticker and I snagged this photo of him.

By the time we got back to the bar, Jared’s sister had already asked the bartender if we could place a sticker along the mirror behind all of the bottles of liquor. I hadn’t noticed right away that there was already a collection of them there. He gave us the O.K. as long as we did it quickly before management came out. When looking at the mirror, your eyes are immediately drawn toward a “Rookie Driver” sticker so I slid back behind the bar and popped one right up there.

I slid back out from the bar, we got a round of drinks and hung out for a bit at a high top. It wasn’t long before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find a blonde curly haired women that had been sitting at the bar now standing there. I looked at her probably with a puzzled look on my face and said, “Hi!…” Her response? “I’m sorry, are you from Wilkes-Barre?” I had no idea who this person was. I mean, I know Brent knew A LOT of people…but most of the time I can recognize faces at the very least. The question mark on my face turned instantly to a deer in the headlights look. I told the woman I was not from Wilkes-Barre, pointed to the group behind me and said, “But they are.” She looked at them, back at me and started to tell me, “I saw you behind the bar placing a sticker on the mirror. I didn’t pay you too much attention and figured it was for breast cancer awareness or something.” She paused, “Not that there’s anything wrong with supporting breast cancer!” We chuckled and she continued, “I’m just pretty sure my friend told me about Brent the other day.” I unfortunately did not capture her name, so for the sake of this post let’s call her “Monica.” I told Monica that I was Brent’s girlfriend, pointed to the group again and explained they were Brent’s cousins and friends from the Wilkes-Barre area. I mentioned he had passed (which she knew) the previous weekend and we were going around with these stickers in honor of him. Monica then continued to say she’s seen the hashtag on Facebook (Yes! How awesome!) and she was so sorry for our loss. It was crazy. We began chatting with her and she introduced us to her significant other. Monica went on to tell us she frequents Cafe 99 back home in Northeast Pennsylvania. This particular bar is actually one Brent would frequent as well for beer and boneless buffalo bites. He always joked that the bar tender there, Jimmy, could run for mayor and win with just being written in on the ballot. I’ve met Jimmy on several occasions at Cafe and I will say, he is one awesome guy. I couldn’t tell you what else was discussed with Monica after that point. I think I was still somewhat blown away for what had happened. But then Monica left the bar with her friend for the night as did we.

In addition to Mother’s Cantina I had one more request for that Friday night. I wanted to take a quick photo of a hotel I’ve always admired for it’s neon lights at night and cool pastels during the daytime, Flamingo Motel. Brent and I have driven past it dozens of times but didn’t have the opportunity to make a quick stop for a photo. So we walked a couple of blocks, got the shot and began walking back towards Mother’s and what was essentially the direction home. As we were walking and sharing some memories about Brent at the beach it was decided we would swing by another solid OCMD bar, Fish Tales.

Fish Tales is a spot on the Bahia Marina that overlooks the bay on 21st street on the island. We grabbed some drinks at the dock bar, Janelle bought a round of fireball, we honored Brent and hung out. It must’ve been close to 1 in the morning at this point. Janelle’s fiance, Kevin, and Jared were out on the dock chatting and most likely making friends. Our good friend, Amy, Janelle and I decided to find a seat and finish our drinks outside. The weather was perfect. It didn’t take too long for a couple of guys to approach us. I get it, three girls slugging back some orange crushes, sitting outside enjoying a summer night…we looked fun. We ARE fun. Anyways, enter: Harry and Corbin. These two took seats between us and gave us the old, “Hey Ladies, how’s your night going?” They looked about my age, late twenties. We entertained the fact that they wanted to chat with us. They introduced themselves and Amy asked where they were from. Corbin was telling me where he grew up and I vaguely remember him saying he went to Siena College. I can’t recall where in New York he said he grew up because I overheard Harry tell Amy, “I grew up in New York and went to West Virginia University.” I immediately looked at Amy, then to Janelle and over to Harry. Amy hadn’t inquired about where he attended college. I even asked her again the next day. It was hard to believe but Harry had no reason to make that up. I asked him to “prove it” and to sing us a little John Denver. Jared and Kevin came over to see what the fuss was all about and we had our little “Kumbaya” moment and sang “Country Roads.” The guys were nice. We told them all about Brent until the bar closed. We toyed with the idea of wandering around. But we had such a wonderful night with everything that had happened - we decided to end it and go home for a last call.

There is no doubt in my mind Brent came down to Ocean City with us for a night out on the town. I know people who have lost loved ones see signs and communicate in different forms with them. Whether all three of these signs were a coincidence, I’ll never know. But I have a feeling that “coincidence” is not the proper word to use this time around.

Photo Credit: Amy Kroll

[livelikebrent]

Stop 1: Billy Murphy’s Irish Saloon | East Falls, PA

This first stop couldn’t have been any more obvious. For those of you that are unfamiliar with Billy Murphy’s Irish Saloon, it’s located only a couple of blocks away from Brent’s apartment. It was his favorite bar in all of Philadelphia and it was his very own version of “Cheers.”  This place is certainly a diamond in the rough.

All of us would end up at Murphy’s once, twice, sometimes even three or more times a week. It’s a simple go to spot for a drink, wings or burgers. Side note: The “Turf Burger” is hands down THE best burger I have ever had. And yes, I understand that is a bold statement to make - but it’s true. I remember the day I told Brent he couldn’t eat Murphy wings (or any bar food really) for a while due to his Graft versus Host Disease. You would’ve thought I told him something like Trump was our president. Is this first post too early for political jokes? But maybe I should let Brent give you his review on Murphy’s. Really, here is his yelp review from almost 7 years ago. P.S. - He gave it five stars by the way...shocker.

“This place was a recommendation from my uncle who would always stop by to say hello to his friend, the late Mr. Murphy. As an East Fallser of the past 5 years, I found this place to be my second home and great place to catch a beer while waiting for the train. The friendly patrons make it easy to find yourself in conversation and keeps the atmosphere fun and and warmly welcoming. The food is actually pretty good and Murphy (the owner) always makes us feel at home. The pictures covering the walls are a reminder of good times passed. Wing night is our weekly staple and love to see and meet new friends every week. A bit retro? Yes, but the old school atmosphere is more inviting than most people are used to. Be sure to bring cash as they are not credit card friendly. Good tunes are always played and good times are always shared. I consider this my favorite neighborhood bar in Philadelphia!“

It was Thursday, the day after Brent’s funeral, and I invited our group of Philadelphia friends to gather for food and drinks in his honor. I still not yet had the chance to spend time with this special group of people since everything happened. There was no other place I’d rather congregate with these fine specimens either. So this crew encompasses childhood friends, high school friends, significant others that we’ve grown close with along with Brent’s neighbors that live above him in his building. It was your typical Murphy’s crowd for a Thursday except our group was all in one place at one time. About half way through the night, the owner and good friend, Mike poured several (18 to be exact) Jamesons for a toast to Brent. I took a seat up on the bar, bar tenders rang the bell, and I gave a quick toast...

Public speaking is not my strong suit. But it was Brent’s. He’d give any excuse to raise our glasses so he could spit some game and give a darn good toast. Most of them would make you chuckle, humble you and make you be grateful for holding that glass there with him.  When we first started dating I would cringe when he would put me on the spot by raising his glass and say, "Okay, your turn." Well, this time is was my turn, Brent. I kept it short and sweet like a shot of Jameson.

Then it was time to bag it, tag it and slap that sticker on the door. I’ve put a couple of Carve 4 Cancer stickers up along the way on the front door at Murphy’s. But this placement had to be primo. Plus, our good friend Caitlin was standing right behind me. I could feel her OCD burning through not just me but the door as well. It’s the first official sticker on Tour de Brent, NO WRINKLES. 

Now it’s time to talk about the sticker and the contents on said sticker. Carve 4 Cancer is a non-profit we started to help find a cure for blood cancers. The story on how that came to be is for another time. But to learn more about it click on the link provided at the top of this page. Since Brent passed, it became our goal at Carve 4 Cancer to see how you #LiveLikeBrent every day. When you shred on the mountain, go on a brewery tour, take a road trip with friends or hike a trail, we want you to hashtag #LiveLikeBrent. So every single stop I make in honor of my love, Brent, will get tagged with a sticker. Along with each sticker I tag, a post will be published with a story to support it and I’m excited to share the journey with you.

Thank you Mike and Billy Murphy’s Irish Saloon for the memories, new and old. And most importantly to the people by my side that night. Not only are you good friends and company - you are outstanding human beings and I am so happy that Brent brought us together.

Photo credit: Caitlin Maloney, Ainsley Maloney, Dan Youngblood and Kosta Fotiadis