livesunderalog

[livesunderalog]

[livesunderalog]

my dad walking into my room: we gotta take the trash out tonight

me (harboring lifelong resentment after he mowed the beautiful American Burnweed that had sprouted in our lawn when I was 6 and which I treated as a friend with an elaborate backstory): i do not give a fuck

[livesunderalog]

[livesunderalog]

crabs can swimming!

Not many people seem to know this, but crabs can swimming. Here's one I spotted at the Jetty.

17/09/23 - Portunidae sp.

QLD:WET - Cardwell, town jetty

[livesunderalog]

Wake up at4am. Eat 2000 calories immediately. 75mg adderall, Anabolic steroids. Run 28 miles in 2 hours making sure to take at least 9 10 second naps. DO NOT GOON. Avoid girls. Raw goat bladder in camels milk for breakfast 2.

[livesunderalog]

this speaks to me

[livesunderalog]

me, a normal person, when someone smiles at me: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Please do not smile at your bus driver I do not wish to be perceived. Please pay your fare and leave your bus driver alone.

Why do I always get the most demented anons I'm not going to be rude to people providing a public service in real life by acting like they don't exist because a tumblr anon told me they don't like being perceived

[livesunderalog]

jontology

[livesunderalog]

if youre over 17 it does not get better, give up

thank fucking god I'm not 14 anymore

[livesunderalog]

the only true male-directed insult is jerkoff

YOU JERKOFF

[livesunderalog]

youu guys are boring and thats ok be happy

❤️

"b–but youre asexual and sex repulsed!! you cant make sex jokes!" you cry out as i say "thats what she said" for the tenth time today

[livesunderalog]

doing the weeaboo thing where they use japanese expressions in conversation that no one else understands but instead it’s vedic sanskrit

[livesunderalog]

be a myspace page in an ai-generated sloparticle world

[livesunderalog]

But Last night i killed some paint just to watch it dry

[livesunderalog]

beautifulposter125: how is everyone i love you

wonderfulday99: i love the eaerth and all its beauty

theworldissolarge1967: i just got the most wonderful news

wonderfulday99: what is that my friend

theworldissolarge1967: all friends on earth are friends with each other

[livesunderalog]

You probably won’t find it in any official field guides, but you should know that in my neck of the woods we call a baby spoonbill a “teaspoon”

[livesunderalog]

Xiu xiu

i am your microbiome and i will protect you.