lizshine74

[lizshine74]

Theme post for October: Fear

I’m big into decorating for Halloween. And dressing up. For a number of years I’ve picked something that plays on a literary concept, because well, writer–English teacher–makes sense, right? One year I was Ann-Tagonist, and another year I was a meta-4, and another year I was an unreliable narrator. Not sure what this year will bring. Totally open to your ideas! 

It’s as an adult that I’ve come to love Halloween and dressing up. Here’s an old post about a Halloween when I was in middle school when my shyness kept me from inhabiting my costume with confidence. That’s partly what dressing up is tied up for me now. A desire to fully inhabit my imagination without giving two fucks what others think of me. This gets better with age, for sure. 

But this is a post about fear. While I have a lot less fear these days about what other people are going to think or say than I did as a young person, it’s still in there and comes out at odd times. I worked with a personal coach for three months during the heart of the pandemic who supported me on a quest to be bolder. I’m still working on it. 

I fear driving fast in cars. I have panic attacks if I try to drive on the freeway, and when someone else is driving, I white-knuckle it and try to hide my nose in a book. I’m often convinced a car wreck is how I’ll die. At my worst moments when riding on the freeway, my imagination plays out the death-moment. 

I fear that I have passed on too much of my fear to my son. More than anything, I want him to inhabit his power and worth and light. He’s anxious, like me, like his dad. He’s starting to find his way out of that trap. There’s nothing I want more. I pass on to him all the books, yoga poses, bits of wisdom he’ll allow me to. I tell him my stories. 

I fear incompetence most of all. This one gets hard to describe. It starts way back with a sniffly, bullied kid who learned to tip-toe through life because the wrong thing said could mean a pinch, a bruise, a spanking with a belt. But I was always good at school. And I learned that if I kept my room organized and if I made lists of ways I could be better, I had a sort of control. I learned that I could achieve things. I could lose weight by lying for years that I hated chocolate and learning that if I caved and ate all the things I wanted to, I had a failsafe in the laxatives mom kept in the medicine cabinet. I learned that where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I got really good at managing my time and filling out forms and applications and doing a good job. 

I suppose I am too much of a control freak to have ever given myself fully over to alcohol. But it became a failsafe too, a release valve at the end of the day. The first drinks I ever had taught me that when I was drunk, boys liked me. Get a few drinks in me and I would laugh and dance, and fearful me would leave my body for a while, so it was all so easy. I realize now what a trap that was. A release at the end of the day traded for more anxiety the next day, and thus more need of relief. A vicious cycle fueled by a big money industry that preys on people for profit. 

I’m sober now. I’ve been sober-ish since last spring, slips along the way, but mostly soaking up resources and support to make the big move, the commitment. I didn’t start out planning to write about how I’m not drinking anymore. This is a theme-based blog post about fear. How did I get here? 

Being an anxious person who has managed to live a fairly successful life means that I’ve learned a lot about how to cope with fear. I trained to run a marathon to stave off the increasing panic attacks plaguing me in my twenties. I picked up yoga at fifteen and never stopped because I realized immediately sitting on a towel in my bedroom floor trying to wrap my body and mind around pose after pose in Richard Hittleman’s book that there was something there for me. I’m all in on the movement meditations to garner what peace I can from life. 

What I am not very good at is doing nothing. And that’s what alcohol gave me. An artificial stillness from care. Permission to binge-watch. Okay, so I write this, but I don’t know what to do with it. *pauses *reads it over again. Still not sure and that’s okay. 

The other day I was driving to the grocery store when I got hit with a wave of panic. No rhyme or reason, just the usual way that feelings of impending doom hit you on a Sunday morning out shopping. My first instinct was to pull over and call for help. Then, I told myself, hey, you’ve got this. You know this fear and you know what to do. So, I remembered where my feet were, where my hands were, and I took some deep breaths and began to sing. Critical me questioned my song choice. Better me said go ahead and sing whatever the fuck you want. There’s a reason there are so many songs about rainbows. I got all the shopping done in the knick of time to make it to writer’s group. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?

 Find free resources and information here.

Some past posts to keep you making time: 

Adjust your pace accordingly.

It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine

There are things you will have to give up

See it to achieve it

Washing the dishes

Write slowly

A celebration of the pause

Monday, a run through the driving rain

Zen accident

Get out of your comfort zone

Theme post for October: Fear was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

The Weekly! October 4-10 2021

My current goals

I am so close to wrapping up the first draft of the novel I am working on now. Let’s see…can I elevator pitch it yet?

Three women who were close in college are all at points in their lives when they need to take charge of their own stories and make some changes. They see each other through social media, which is a false and isolating view. Through their stories, we see how it might be possible to subvert the passage of time and bridge distance to restore friendship.

That’ll have to do for now. I haven’t even finished the damn book. My goal right now is to finish by the end of October, then spend National Novel Writing Month working on a new short story collection and submissions. I know, it’s not the program. It’s been a lot of years since I followed directions in November. My goal will be two new stories per week and six submissions. This blog update is forcing me to pin that down.

The routine

So far, fall writing has gone well for me. I’m up at 4 am, in bed by 8 pm. There are sacrifices I have to make in doing that, such as less time in the evening and just less free time in general. While the siren song of more leisure time on weekdays does call me at times, I keep reminding myself that this is a choice I am making so that I can pursue my passion. Other people sometimes say to me they don’t know how I do all the things I do, i.e. how I work as a teacher and still have time to write, take yoga classes, and go to the gym. It’s not magic. It’s a schedule, discipline, and a lot of sacrifices.

It helps that I am no longer drinking. Wine is a major time-suck, plus it mucks up your mood and energy. I’m on my second read-through of Quit Like A Woman, a book that finally spoke to me in a way that felt true to me about alcohol.

Last tidbits on how I’m making time

Sometime early pandemic, I found a new writer’s group online. That group is working well for me. It is one of times I am happy to Zoom these days. That group, guitar lessons, and an occasional “coffee date” or tarot reading with a friend.

My goal this week is 5000 wc, write two blog entries, submit three stories.

As for the blog posts, I’m hoping to shake things up a bit here. I’ve got years of posts motivating you to make time and I will keep talking about that, for sure. I’m also going to be posting more creative non-fiction this year as a themed experiment of mine. I’ve got themes lined out for every month, and I hope to post once per week. What’s the October theme? Stay tuned…

Want more inspiration?

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?

 Find free resources and information here.

Some past posts to keep you making time: 

Adjust your pace accordingly.

It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine

There are things you will have to give up

See it to achieve it

Washing the dishes

Write slowly

A celebration of the pause

Monday, a run through the driving rain

Zen accident

Get out of your comfort zone

The Weekly! October 4-10 2021 was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

It's been a pandemic. How's the writing coming?

It’s been a while since I’ve written any words of encouragement here at Make Time. I suppose just making the time has been all I can do. The idea of making time took on new meaning for me during the stay home orders of this pandemic. Time became this new resource that I suddenly had a lot more of. To be honest, at first, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I eventually found ways to fill all that time. The usual writing, reading, and movement (especially yoga), but I also got better about practicing guitar and started lifting weights. 

What I find most remarkable is how because I was no longer moving around in space as much (busy, busy, busy!), I found new space for self-reflection. I hired a life coach for a few months to help me with that work. I’m still the same old me, but I have learned to be kinder to myself and trust myself a little more. It’s an ongoing process. 

My writing plan for the school year is Monday to Friday, getting up at 4 am to do the work. This means going to bed at 8 for me, but it’s worth it because there is just no denying that morning is the best time for me. My mind is fresh and I have solitude. I’m working on a novel now that is slow-doing. I’m just about 30,000 words in and this is the work that I’ve been doing during the entire pandemic. 

The novel alternates between three points of view and at one point I decided to pull out two of the perspectives and just focus on one. I wasn’t happy with how that changed my story, so I’ve since put the other perspectives back in, plus added some flashback bits. I’ve also got a short story collection simmering on the back burner. I’m working with Home as a metaphor for inner peace and making connections between the literal physical space we call home and feeling at home in our bodies. 

I did publish two stories from another collection. You can read “Hungry” at Adelaide Literary Magazine and “Desire” at Penumbra Online.

I found a new writer’s group online through Inked Voices that is working well for me. It’s a small group and we use that platform to submit pages and give written feedback, then we also Zoom every couple of weeks. I haven’t been a fan of Zoom teaching, but I do appreciate being able to meet with writer friends from all over the country and go to my guitar lesson two minutes after I finish tossing the stir-fry I made for dinner. 

I will keep writing here about this extremely lonely work of making time to create in spite of the fact that you are often your worst enemy and the world doesn’t make it easy either, but I also hope to write here more about other aspects of my life. Such as, the fact that I’ve had a mostly booze-free summer and am feeling really good about that. Such as, I love to cook and am vegan. Fitness is an important part of staying balanced for me: yoga, running, weights, walks, etc. Such as, I’ve got some true stories to tell here. Point is, I’m letting this little blog grow. I’ll still be here with my encouragement and advice for getting focused and getting words on the page, but I won’t only be talking about that. 

This blog is not going to be a blog for you if you’re looking for advice on how to write a bestseller so you can quit your day job and write all day. I’m never going to talk here about canned plots, meta-data, or even finding an agent or getting published. I do aspire to get my work out in the world, and I do care about some topics related to that question about how to get published and be successful. This is not my main focus, though. I’m never going to quit my day job (well, until I retire) and what I want to talk about here is far more interesting to me than those practicals. What do I want to talk about here? How do we focus our distracted minds to get deep in flow? How do we keep writing when we get stuck? How do we renew our faith in ourselves as writers? How do we allow ourselves space to play and write whatever without self-judgment? How do we refill our creative wells? How do we write what’s true instead of avoiding it? Questions like that. 

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably already know that I am a high school teacher in the daylight. We just started a new school year, masked and in person. Having started last year on Zoom, I’m leaning in hard to the opportunity to connect to kids. I’m also taking some risks in the curriculum that involve more creative writing tasks. I’m emboldened as a teacher and a writer when former students come back and say things like they’ve held on to the poems they wrote in my class. This is just what a former student said to me the other day when I responded to the news that her book would be coming out early next year. I am of course delighted that the subject of this book is a topic near and dear to my heart, this blog, my own novella. If you are reading this, I hope you too pre-order a copy. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

It’s been a pandemic. How’s the writing coming? was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

In case you need a reminder to keep going. I know I do.

I’m 25, 000 words into my novel, and I’m stuck. Worse yet, self-doubt is finding it’s way in despite the traps I’ve laid to catch it and snuff it out before it can take root. It’s the usual shit that can creep in during a first draft. Is there even a plot here? How will this all even come together? No one but you is going to find these people at all interesting. This is going nowhere. Why even waste your time? There are so many better books out there already. Stop embarrassing yourself. 

So, this morning I am reminding myself and you that the first draft is simple about persistence and pushing through all of this bullshit designed to stop you. Simply trust that whatever needs to be fixed can be fixed later. Do your best right now to get your characters from beginning to end. Stay connected and committed to the story you felt compelled to tell and, for now, don’t worry too much about the future. 

I am reminding us both. Now, go set a timer and get some words on the page. Today and tomorrow you may feel like you are crawling one word at a time through enemy territory, but you’ve got to focus on the words and keep going. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

In case you need a reminder to keep going. I know I do. was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Adjust your pace accordingly

A lesson that has been coming up for me again and again in various aspects of my life is the importance of paying attention and adjusting my pace accordingly. I’ve had some runs of late where I start to feel low on gas mid-run. As soon as that happens my mind starts to tell the story about why I’m too tired to run the full route. Maybe I didn’t eat enough or I didn’t sleep enough or whatever explanation my imagination can find for why that original feeling of low-energy means the run is over, I may as well start walking now. Here’s what I’ve started doing in those moments. I keep running, but I slow the pace and listen. I let go of my sense of urgency and expectation. Just about every time I do this,  I find my stride again.

I’m writing this to remind both of us that the same is true for writing. Lately I feel like I’m moving slow motion through molasses to even get a paragraph written. The longer this goes on, the longer my list of ideas and projects get. When this happens writing starts to feel like a chore that never gets done. Something responsibility that you have, but you have no time to do it in. I’m reminding both of us that writing is a choice and YOU get to set the pace. I heard a trainer say to someone at the gym the other day “you are not running a race” to get them to slow down the pace of each lift. 

This is true for writing too. You are not running a race. Be happy with a paragraph is that is what you get. It will be your bridge to the next sixth paragraphs tomorrow. 

If you’re like me, you drum up this sense of urgency. This desperate need to finish the book. For me, it’s about outrunning death, about meeting some imaginary timeline by which I should have accomplished such and such, but mostly about wanting to get through the difficult parts of writing as soon as possible. 

Here’s what I’ve noticed, though. When I slow my pace and listen? The work opens up. The writing is better. 

The picture I’m posting along with this blog entry is a photo of me at mile 26 of the first marathon I ever ran (2005). You might be thinking, but wait that doesn’t fit at all with your “you’re not running a race” analogy?! My only goal in that race was to finish with dignity. Endurance was the ultimate goal. Adjusting my pace is how I finished that race.

You are doing many other things while also trying to write and all of these things will impact your focus and energy. Adjust your pace accordingly. That will allow you to write through even the tough times, so that when your energy begins to flow again, you will be poised, warmed up, and ready.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

Adjust your pace accordingly was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

It's all about the routine--and how you shake up the routine

It is about making a schedule and sticking to it. It’s about getting up before everyone else and setting aside all distractions to get to work. It’s about stopping at the coffee shop on your way home and claiming those two hours before you go home to your family, really claiming them. Not taking texts during that time. Deep-diving into that single focus during the time you have set aside for you and your work. It is about that. And yet, you will feel impatience because that time goes faster than you think and that goal you made is taking longer than you thought. When you feel that impatience coming on, you might be tempted to throw up your hands in defeat and take up binge-watching as a more suitable hobby for you. Why not shake up the routine instead?

Here are some ways to do that:

Set your alarm for fifteen minutes earlier than you already do.

Take one weekend and drop everything from your schedule except writing. Turn off your phone, and dive into a virtual retreat. Don’t make coffee dates, skip the Saturday appointment at the gym. Just for one weekend–single focus. Try this once a month if you are feeling particularly motivated toward progress. Here is a link to my virtual retreat form to help you get your goals lined up for this weekend. More forms available on my coaching page.

Make easy meals or do a family fend-for-yourself week and write during the dinner hour. 

Write during your lunch hour every day for a week. Reward yourself for your commitment at the end of the week. Plan the reward in advance and follow through with it. 

Try using audio memos to talk through your ideas when out walking or doing housework. Yes, you will look like you’re talking to yourself, because you will be talking to yourself. Own your crazy. 

What ideas do you have? I want to know. This list is for me as much as it is for you. 

Happy writing this week, my writer friends! 

Oh, and here’s a free Pomodoro timer to keep you honest. When you hit that timer, do just that one thing. Ah, ah, ah–put that phone down. Just that one thing. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

It’s all about the routine–and how you shake up the routine was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Editing hack acquired!

Dear Writer Friend, 

This week I discovered one of those little hacks. You know the kind. The kind you want to tell everyone about, the kind that I still have yet to discover for the process of shelling garbanzo beans–anyone? This particular hack happens to be for editing/revision.

We all know that it’s a good idea to read your work aloud when you’re editing. If that’s something you do, then you also know that it’s not perfect. Speaking is its own kind of effort and can take brainpower away from the line editing you are trying to do. While most of you have already discovered how to have your Word read your document to you using the speak feature, I had not until now, and I love it. Below are links to directions for how to use this editing hack and also for how to use Google Docs to do the same. For me, this improves my editing game. And who doesn’t need whatever help they can get with the process of editing? 

Instructions for Word

Instructions for Google Docs

What hacks did you use this week to meet your writing goals? I want to know. Some of my favorites are: using a pomodoro timer, writing out my goals each morning before I write, and sticking to a strict routine. I’m not quite as rigid as David Lynch about it, but I am aspiring. A fixed routine is a sort of time magic that opens up a portal you can step through to get the work done free of distraction and doubt.

What are the most important parts of your routine to you and why?

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

Editing hack acquired! was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

There are things you will have to give up.

I’m assuming you are like me, trying to write while also working full time. Like me, you may have a family and hobbies that keep you happy and sane. A big part of your work as a writer is how to make time when there isn’t all that much excess time to start with. I am constantly making little shifts to carve out time to write. Over many years of trial and error, I have found that morning is my best time of day (fresh, open mind). Lately, my routine has been to wake up at 4:30 on weekdays to make coffee, walk the dogs, and write until it’s time to get ready for my workday. This usually yields me anywhere between an hour or two hours of writing time each weekday. 

Out of a constant negotiation for an equitable distribution of duties, my husband has been walking the dogs on weekends, while I sleep in a little longer. Well, guess what? I have been trying unsuccessfully to add more writing time to my weekends for months. Then, the obvious solution dawned on me. 

I negotiated for morning dog walking responsibility every day and won. Truth be told, he was happy to hand that job over. He’s less of a morning person than I am anyway. All for the best. 

When I told my son about this he asked, “But won’t you miss sleeping in?” 

The answer: No, not if I kept it framed in my mind as a choice I made. I get to get up early so that I can get some writing time. So, recently, I have given up sleeping in to make time, but that’s just the start of the things I’ve given up. Here’s some others: 

regularly watching TV or movies

phone games

scrolling social media

surfing the web

reading the news except in three minute digests

There are things you will have to give up. And, there are also practices that build your focus, concentration, and ability to believe in yourself even when the struggle is real. Like what, you ask? Like meditation, yoga, long walks–mindfulness practices that increase your ability to sit and just be in the moment, which is a lot like being in a scene of fiction in your imagination and trying to write through it. Writing guru Natalie Goldberg is a good source if you’re looking to zen up your writing practice.

If you are a woman, you will have to fight against a culture that has taught you that you are responsible for keeping everything together, that whatever needs to be done is yours to do. This one is the most difficult for me and is why morning is my best time for writing. I am the only one awake, so there is no one and nothing else to tend to. 

There are things you will have to give up, but if you’re like me, it’s an obvious choice. You’ve worked too long and too hard to give in to distraction and entertainment now.  This craft is the foundation you are built on. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

There are things you will have to give up. was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

See it, to achieve it.

Dear Writer Friends, 

So, you are making the time. You are sitting down at your desk, bichoktam. You are doing the work. You honor your writing time and do what it takes to minimize distractions, whether that’s a focus app or a set morning ritual, or if you’re me–both. The war on your attention is real, and you are not a mere victim in that. Your monkey mind gets you all the time. It’s a practice and you will have good days and less good days, but you are keeping at it. 

This week I want you to focus on putting some energy into what your long term goal is, to really visualize it, because when we take the time to visualize what we want, we are more likely to believe it is possible for us. When we believe, we take the steps to make it happen with more confidence. So, right now, write down a goal you have for your writing within a specific time frame–three months? A year? Your choice. Now, close your eyes and picture the scenario. Don’t brush past it. Flash out all the detail just like you would in an important scene of your story. Set a timer for two minutes and stay in that visual. 

Go to this awesome web tool and write yourself an email set for an intermittent time between now and your goal. In the email, describe your goal in all it’s detail and remind yourself that it’s okay if you’ve gotten off track, but you are writing to remind yourself what it is you want. Remind yourself that getting off track is part of the process. 

Print the email you wrote yourself before sending, and tuck it away somewhere so you can pull it out as a reminder anytime you need it. Return to your visualization as often as needed to fend off self-doubt and bolster your confidence. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

See it, to achieve it. was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

January 11--17 2021. Focus on what you did; Put down your phone; Call for reinforcements

Dear Writer Friend, 

Here we are again at the start of another week. It might be tempting to look back at your goals last week and notice what you didn’t do. Resist that urge. Focus on what you did. I did not come near meeting my goals, but I did finish one chapter and start another, critique two submissions for my writer’s group, finish an editing project, and have a couple of really good ideas I jotted down and put on simmer. 

Writing is especially hard right now. Give yourself credit for everything you do. Disregard what you didn’t.

That brings me to another important thing you can do this week to do the writing work you want to do. Limit the time you spend in that digital space of disgust, disbelief, despair, and rage. Put down your phone. Two people said the same thing to me yesterday about the new year. One was in an email and one was the checker at the grocery store when I went out to do my Sunday shopping. What did they say? “Well it can’t do anything but get better.” These are hard times, and so much of that is way beyond our control. Making time for your creative work is how you infuse a bit of better into every single day. Put down your phone and do it. 

Lastly, if you don’t already have a fast track to communicate with a writer or two or three who you can add to a text thread or email chain or what-have-you, then get that set up. Update that group as to what you did each day. Focus on what you did. Never write about what you didn’t do. They will know what to do–bring on the encouraging gifs and words to cheer you on. You will do that same for them. Two things in the thread–what each of you did and accolades. That’s it. 

We’ve got this. See you next week. 

January 11–17 2021. Focus on what you did; Put down your phone; Call for reinforcements was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

I love the feeling when a new story starts to take shape...

I wrote the prologue of my new story last week. It’s maybe 1000 words, maybe not even, and I know I will need to go back to it. It took me two weeks to write. I dipped out of writing often to research. I spent a fair amount of time just staring at the blank page. I wasn’t in love with at the end. 

This morning I started in on chapter one. This book is a multiple point-of-view book about three women who were in college together and have grown apart. It’s about the scripts we fall into and how difficult it can be to rewrite those scripts. It’s also about isolation and how social media shapes our thoughts and feelings. I think. It’s awfully early to say what the book is about, but I think it is about those things. 

As I started chapter one, I almost immediately had that skull-shining feeling that one gets when a story begins to take shape around you, when it’s no longer just you trying to type words on the page, but there are these characters, and these places, and these desires that you want to follow to the end. 

Needless to say, writing went well this morning. Despite the fact that my brain glitched and stalled when I first sat up in bed at four and reached for my laptop. No matter how tempted I was when I say that my computer was going to take time to update to just close the damn thing and go to bed. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

I love the feeling when a new story starts to take shape… was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Make Time in 2020.

The Dark Side of Grit

It’s been almost a year since I last posted to this blog. Things had gotten to the point that if I had any time to spare for writing it had to be for working on my manuscript. No time for free writing! It was also right about this time I resolved to let it go in 2019. And what let it go meant to me was to let go of work that I took on just because I could, because my impulse to prove my worth had become so automatic, and I was so run-down and divided. I wrote all about it in my igloo builder post, where I explored the darker aspect of what has always been a fond memory of my ability to persist. This is the trait that help me run a marathon. This is the trait that got me through college with a 3.8 GPA and a toddler in tow. But is there a dark side to this grit and determination? Turns out that yes there is, and thankfully nothing is fixed forever. I am still revising my story, after all. 

Finding a Way

I spent the year cutting out work and consciously slowing down. I set up a meditation space and started using it. I started writing down three things to be grateful for every day. I added the most gentle yoga class offered at my studio to my weekly practice (thanks, Anne, if you ever read this). I quit my coaching job. Bit by bit, I quit overparenting and hypervigilance about little things that didn’t seem to concern anyone else, so why was I making such a deal? I have been learning and am still learning the power of knowing when to take a deep breath and let it go and when to hold fast and strong. I have also become more apt to ask for help around the house. In the process I’ve realized how everyone benefits from housework. Overachieving in that realm deprives family members of opportunities to build self-worth and connection to home and the people who cohabitate there. 

It’s a New Decade, Friends

What has resulted? For starters, I have the energy again to write in the mornings, and I am finally learning to play guitar. I have longed to play my entire remembered life. All those memories of my mom plucking away and singing. Perhaps one of a few times I knew for sure I was safe. I knew those songs and even if they were sad, I knew what was coming. Those are the same songs that I sing to soothe myself to this day when right in the middle of life panic takes me and squeezes me in its unrelenting fist. I am working on a new book (working title: Scripts) and am deep in edits on another. I wrote for almost two hours Monday morning and again this morning. Pretty amazing considering it was the first Monday after winter break! 

The peace and relaxation I feel has paved the path to eliminating my near daily habit of needing wine to unwind all the tension I accumulated during the day. I haven’t needed to do that in two weeks now, and at the moment, I have no desire to. It seems like such a waste of precious time. 

Precious writing time!

My goals for writing in 2020 do not include making any specific accomplishments. I simply hope to make time for writing whenever possible and to enjoy the spaces in between. I will seek opportunities to get my work out into the world and take those opportunities without hesitation. I will invoke my spider muse.

I woke this morning and finished a rough outline of my new novel. All I ever write are rough outlines. I am one of those writers who doesn’t know the way until she sees her characters come to life on the page. This means I will never finish a book Kerouac style, and I am okay with that. Tomorrow I will write the prologue. My only goal is to have a few pages to bring to writer’s group next week. 

Friends, I hope to write something that might inspire you in your creative goals this year at least once a week. If we aren’t making art in the face of it all, we aren’t truly doing all we can. So let’s keep making time.

 Send me a personal note about what you are working on in 2020 and I will send you some inspiration in return. Email: eatyourwords.lizshine@gmail.com.  

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

Make Time in 2020. was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Write slowly.

The cult of speedy writers.

There is a lot of hype out there tying triumph in writing to your ability to write fast. Success in self-publishing seems to have more to do with the number of works a writer can churn out than anything else.The goals seems to be to create a link of works that can be consumed one after the other after the other. NaNoWriMo has done it’s part to popularize, even grossly extend, the virtues of the so called shitty first draft.

Writers everywhere seem obsessed with word count. I have tried these ways and I don’t argue that they work for some writers really, really well.

What mindfulness has taught me about myself as a writer.

As the new year got rolling, I re-committed myself to writing and slashed some commitments that were getting in the way. I started using an app to write in singularly focused short bursts with breaks. My goal right now is at least three such intervals every day. I also re-committed to a regular meditation practice and I’ve only missed a few days all year. I believe these two practices in conjunction have allowed me to observe my habits and reactions a little more clearly.

I noticed at first that when I started the timer and didn’t have words immediately ready to flow from my pen, I got nervous. Time was literally ticking after all! I observed this a couple of times and then began to examine this way of thinking. Was it okay to spend some of my writing interval staring out the window wondering what was really motivating my character in the scene I was working on?

The answer was of course, yes. I may be setting a timer, but I am not running a race. Or if I am, I am running tortoise style, because over the years that is the way I have always felt I should be writing. Sometimes I need fifteen minutes to write a sentence, sometimes fifteen seconds. Trying to write at a certain pace, obsessing over word counts–these habits not only don’t work for me. They suck all the joy out of writing for me. They cause me to focus more on the end product than the experience of each moment in a story. The former makes me feel anxious and insecure; the latter is what flow looks like for me.

Be a tortoise or a hare.

So, be a tortoise or a hare in your writing! There is no right way to go about this work. As for me, I will ignore all the buzz about writing fast and making word count. It’s just not how I’m gonna roll. At ease with my tortoise pace, I have finished four new stories in six weeks time without really trying to.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals? Find free resources and information here. Some past posts to keep you making time:  Adjust your pace accordingly. It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine There are things you will have to give up See it to achieve it Washing the dishes Write slowly A celebration of the pause Monday, a run through the driving rain Zen accident Get out of your comfort zone

Write slowly. was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Building Igloos

The Igloo Story

When I was fifteen or so I built an igloo in the snow. We were having Thanksgiving (or was it Christmas?) in Yakima at my aunt’s house. There was way more snow than we ever got in Aberdeen. Anyway, somehow my cousins and I got started building an igloo and even when we hadn’t finished and our hands were numb and the sun had set, I refused to give up. I stayed out in the cold and the dark to finish that igloo.

I’ve hung on this memory ever since, and I’ve tended to focus on how it was an early indication of my ability to persist, to keep tirelessly pursuing a problem or project until it’s done. That’s not untrue. I am not one to give up easy.

I am seeing this memory from a different angle right now, its shadowy side.

Stuck in a rut

You may have noticed I haven’t written a blog here since last July. the trouble really started before that. For many months now, I’ve been stuck in a rut writing-wise. As you know if you read this blog, I will do just about anything to make time to write. Even wake up at 4 AM! I don’t do this anymore, but I did for a couple of years. For a while, this allowed me to keep writing in spite of everything else that I do in a day. It worked until I reached the point where I was sitting in front of my laptop at 4:45, working on my second cup of coffee, having written three sentences and deleted nine all the while in a zombie state, my heart a cold stone.

It wasn’t getting up at four that created this burn-out state. It was something else. It was the shadow side of that igloo story.

I can’t pinpoint one event in my life that forced a change, but change is actually what is happening right now. It was really a culmination of circumstances that pushed me to the wall where I had to choose: fight or die?

I chose to fight.

The circumstances? An ever mounting workload brought on by my own overachieving and perfectionist tendencies. More work piled on when my partner took ill and could not do much of anything for weeks. Months of random fits of sadness that brought me to tears. My own nagging resentments and unhappiness. Day after day in my plan book with nothing written under the daily log labeled WRITE. The habit I’d fallen into of numbing my pain each evening with a glass or three of red wine.

What this all has to do with igloos

Here’s the shadow side of that igloo story.

I’ve struggled my entire remembered life with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I learned through childhood trauma and fifteen year in an abusive relationship to make myself small. So, it’s no wonder that I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I had to prove my worth. It’s a vicious cycle. You feel like a fraud, so you try to do more in hopes that you might become worthy.

That igloo? I was one hundred percent aware that my cousins kept checking back with me and that they had reported to the adults exactly what I was up to. There was no way I was not going to build that igloo with all of those people watching.

The drive to achieve has served me well on so many occasions, but it is also the reason I found myself sitting like a zombie at my writing desk last September. And it has taken me all these months to bring myself back to life.

What needs to change?

So I am making some changes.

I am only building the igloos I truly want to build. I won’t do it for approval, because I don’t want to say no, or because someone else thinks I should. I am choosing my igloos carefully from here on out.

I am shedding responsibilities I never wanted right now to make room for more of what I love. I am learning to say no, to delegate, to ask for help. I am learning to say “I don’t know”. I am shedding habits that don’t serve me and I’ve been making the time to meditate daily for two weeks now. This is really helping me see all the rest of this more clearly.

As for writing, what is working for me now are short bursts of hyper-focused writing. I use an app called BeFocused to time and log my writing sessions and I aim for two to six sessions per day every day. In the past two weeks, I’ve polished up four short stories and readied them for send-off, made an outline for my connected stories, and started a new story.

I hope to get back to this blog more often, though it feels right to keep my posts to when I really have something meaningful to communicate about this journey we are on to live creative lives in the face of commitment, distractions, and our own self-defeating habits of mind. Also, more ironic listicles because I really like writing them.

Happy New Year fellow creatives! I’m here and I’ll be checking in from time to time. In the meantime, keep choosing only the igloos you want to build.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?Find free resources and information here.Some past posts to keep you making time: Adjust your pace accordingly.It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routineThere are things you will have to give upSee it to achieve itWashing the dishesWrite slowlyA celebration of the pauseMonday, a run through the driving rainZen accidentGet out of your comfort zone

Building Igloos was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

30 Things To Do Before You Sit Down To Write

30 Things To Do Before You Sit Down To Write

Re-read old stories you wrote years ago and consider fixing them.

Organize all the pens on your desk by color or type of pen and then fan them out into a pen rainbow.

Answer the phone call from your mother.

Decide to call a family meeting about the pressing issue of the dishwasher not being emptied or filled at a suitable pace.

Ponder this question: Do I even have what it takes to be a writer?

Decide now is the time to intervene about your child or spouse’s social media addiction.

Go on Amazon. You just can’t write until you have a new notebook/binder/purse.

Patch all the nail holes in your walls.

Deep clean anything. Some ideas: the washing machine, the bathtub, the kitchen counters.

Try a new recipe that requires an ingredient you have to go to the store to find.

Clip your toenails. You’ve been putting it off way too long.

Then pull every random facial hair you can find.

Check your email. Be sure to fill out the customer survey you find there for a chance to win a $100 gift card. You never know!

Google dog training services in your area. You’ve been meaning to sign up for years. You really can’t put it off another day.

While you’re at it, give the dogs a bath.

Make a sandwich you can barely get your mouth around because all work requires fuel, even typing. Eat it, then take a nap.

Edge-clean the floors.

Decide that now is the time to talk to your teenager about the importance of having a plan for the future.

Download an app to help you get focused when you write and learn how to use it.

Make a list of books you need to read for research.

Organize your desk and sharpen every pencil so that it is ready to use when you need it.

Read some blogs about effective outlining techniques or how to write stories that have tension.

DM your best friend that you are about to start writing! Preferably through Snapchat so you can use an animal ears filter or start a game of blow the bubbles.

Dress up your pets and have your own pet parade.

Decide on paint colors for your bathroom, because certain colors inspire creativity and you need that before you write.

Ask your spouse/ significant other/ friend to read what you’ve written so far and give you feedback so you know what a reader might think about your work before you move forward.

Read that article that just came through your feed about the latest Trump-fail.

Paint your nails your main character’s favorite color to get in the spirit.

Write a blog list of Things To Do Before You Sit Down To Write.

Check your retirement account and shift some things around.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?Find free resources and information here.Some past posts to keep you making time: Adjust your pace accordingly.It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routineThere are things you will have to give upSee it to achieve itWashing the dishesWrite slowlyA celebration of the pauseMonday, a run through the driving rainZen accidentGet out of your comfort zone

30 Things To Do Before You Sit Down To Write was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Letter: Dear FOBO

Dear FOBO,

I just learned you existed yesterday. Well, I learned you are a thing with a name, which also means there must be countless other people out there who struggle with you.

Fear of better options–you make me keep switching POV in my stories. You make me abandon entire drafts to work on that fresh new idea. You make it impossible for me to get a single word written until I’ve mad a list of writing goals for the day, because–hey, when there are so many possibilities–why not start by making a sandwich?

FOBO, you have the best of intentions. You come from this desire to make great art, to make that art better and better. But you keep me from hanging out in the now, struggling through the problems and rough patches of a project.

Hey–Can we make a deal?

When I set my writing timer, could you go hang out somewhere else?

Because when I’m in it, I want to be in it. While I might decide later to make some important change to the narrative, I have to be in it first, follow it from start to finish.

So, I’m setting my timer. Go play somewhere else for a while.

Respectfully,

Liz

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?Find free resources and information here.Some past posts to keep you making time: Adjust your pace accordingly.It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routineThere are things you will have to give upSee it to achieve itWashing the dishesWrite slowlyA celebration of the pauseMonday, a run through the driving rainZen accidentGet out of your comfort zone

Letter: Dear FOBO was originally published on Make Time.

[lizshine74]

Five ways to sabotage your writing time

Want to sabotage your writing time? Have I got some ideas for you.

1. Do anything else “real quick”.

This includes checking email, social media accounts, doing a little food prep for dinner, taking out the trash. There are so many important tasks that will show up as soon as you event think about writing. Just do a few real quick.

2. Listen to negative self-talk about your story.

When you are in the middle of death-defying act like sky-diving or some crazy triple-flip aerial is that the time to question whether or not you are cut out for skydiving or gymnastics?

No.

Same goes with writing. You want to kill your mojo real quick? Let all those negative thoughts in. Engage with them.

3. Be narrow-minded about when and how much time you need for writing.

If you’ve decided that if you need two hours for writing, but you’ve only got an hour and a half, bag it. Go watch TV instead.

4. Always take your work seriously.

Don’t ever freewrite. Don’t ever intentionally write your story as cliche, full of adverbs, and over-told as you possible can for a laugh. Always be severe in your expectations.

5. Work on more than one thing at a time.

Hope springs eternal, right? If you finally sat down and made time, why not try to bust out two short stories instead of one? Do some research and write a blog? There’s no effing way you’ll get past the first thing on your list and you’ll feel like a failure, but goals are good–right?

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?Find free resources and information here.Some past posts to keep you making time: Adjust your pace accordingly.It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routineThere are things you will have to give upSee it to achieve itWashing the dishesWrite slowlyA celebration of the pauseMonday, a run through the driving rainZen accidentGet out of your comfort zone

Five ways to sabotage your writing time was originally published on Make Time.