My Duty As Princess
Chapter 07
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with @urlocaltrash28
preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre: arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings: none
Word Count: 5K+
Author's Note: I'm not back guys, honestly. To give a little update, I stopped writing because it stopped being fun. I only wanted to do this, if it continued to be fun and after a while it stopped being fun. Right now, I'm in such a better place that writing is starting to be fun again, but there's no telling if I'm actually going to continue to put out content. Thinking of something to write, is actually a lot of work lmaooo. I will say that, I will never delete any of the content I have out. This page and all the stories will be here for whenever you guys want to enjoy them. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3
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When the Princess and I returned to the palace, night had already fallen. We tried to quietly usher our way to my chambers, after entering did we notice a parade of people awaiting for us. Father sat at my desk chair, Mother and Taeyong stood behind him. Mark, Haechan, and Jaemin sat on the couch, the three of them looked to be making themselves comfortable. Grandma Lee and Grandmother Na sat on the two chairs that were on one side of the room. There was more standing around, I spotted Chan, Hyunjin, Johnny was with them huddled in one corner, Lord Park stood lonely in another part of the room, Fei and Mei were in front of my bedroom doors. Lord Na and Lady Na were also here, the two of them stayed near Grandmother Na.
âMy boy,â Father said when he saw me enter the room.Â
âWhat is the meaning of this?â I asked, looking around the room, full of people.Â
âNow my son,â Mother started off making her way towards me, I took a step back when she came near, it felt like I couldnât trust any of them. Â
âLord Park has asked to speak with the Princess,â Taeyong said, his tone was all business, Taeyong was never the type to sugar coat things. Lord Park stepped forward at the mention of his name.Â
âI would like to formally apologize to your royal highness,â He got down on one knee, lowering his head, arm over his heart, âfor the actions of my children.â I reached down for the princessâ hand, which she easily took. âI did not know of their plans or their intentions.âÂ
âThen why apologize?â The princess asked, her tone matching the one she used on me when she was angry. She stood tall in front of the kneeling Lord.Â
âExcuse me, your highness?â Lord park looked up at the princess, as did the rest of the room. Â
âWhy apologize for actions that you did not know about, and actions you could not have prevented. Quite frankly, it feels like you're apologizing because you know it would save face, not because you really want to. Donât be ashamed, Lord Park, you would marvel at my death, the prince could go back to your daughter and you could have royal status after their wedding. You are not sorry about the actions of your children, you are sorry they did not succeed, and you are apologizing to me because you need to save face. Make yourself look like an innocent bystander in order to remain in power.â The princess paused, taking a deep breath, then she spoke again, âLord Park, I do not despise you. To be fair, I do not have room in my heart, nor time in my day, nor space in my mind to hate you, but I do feel absolute pity for you. Pure pity, for your son has committed treason against two kingdoms in a single night, and I do not know how your image will recover from such actions. I do, however, trust that you will not take any more violent actions against me again, considering, should your family fail again, you could be faced with much more dire consequences.âÂ
âOf course, your highness, I can assure you no harm will come to you from my family ever again,â Lord Park looked down again, red rising to his ears. I wanted to laugh, everything the princess said was the truth, that wasnât meant to be spoken. Â
âIs this all you had for us?â I asked my father. My tone, coming off more rude than I initially intended, I directed my gaze to my father, it felt as if he was a stranger ready to disrupt any little happiness I had with the Princess.
Father opened his mouth to speak, but Taeyong beat him to it, âHansol took a plea deal, heâll get 25 years in prison for attempted murder,âÂ
âI want to see him,â the princess cut off Taeyong before he could continue on. The attention of the room back on the princess, Taeyong's face was clear that he was not gonna let that happen, watching his reactions allowed me to remain calm. âGeneral, will you please let me see him,â the princess let go of my hand, she stepped closer towards my brother, âI need to see the man that nearly killed me.âÂ
Taeyongâs face shifted, like he understood her request, he nodded. âNo,â my mouth opened to speak before my brain could form a reason, but I know she canât see him, âno, youâre not stepping a foot anywhere near that man,â I felt tempted to shove Taeyongâs head through the glass balcony door, for even considering agreeing to the princessâ request.
âJeno,â the Princess spoke, her voice soft.Â
âNo,â I know my voice came out too rude, she flinched, and I saw the minute fear flash before her, this isnât what I wanted. I took a breath before speaking again, â(y/n), no.âÂ
âJeno,â Taeyongâs tone, I knew where this was going, his tone was the same one as when he scolded me for punching Haechan, after he stole my car for a joyride. To be fair, I was aiming for the wall, Haechan just got in the way. âThis is the princessâ decision,â he took a breath, almost like he feared to say more, âyou donât have reason to prevent her from seeing him, should she choose too.âÂ
I let out a breath, turning my attention back to the princess, âyouâre not going alone.â She smiled and nodded, I felt like I couldnât breathe for a second there. Â
âThe news of the attack has been kept within the palace walls, but the people will notice something is wrong, especially with the wedding approaching so fast, thereâs more eyes on the two of you than normal.â Taeyong continued on and looked at me. Â
âWe think the Princess should make a charity appearance at the ladies luncheon for the war relief programs. It would do good if the Princess attended, she can show the people that she is willing to help Northcy war victims as well.â Grandma Lee spoke, she was standing up from her chair, she looked at me. They were all asking the princess of things, but they looked to me, as if I was the princess. Â
â(y/n), if youâre not ready, you donât need to come,â Lady Na, I should say Aunt Jennie, spoke, she made her way towards the princess, taking the princessâ free hand in her own. Her eyes only met the princessâ, I looked at the princess too. The princess was looking back at me, is that why everyone was looking at me, because so was the princess? I squeezed her hand and nodded. Â
âI shall be there,â she let out a breath, looking to the room, âQueen Hye-young is right, itâll be good to make an appearance.â Her hand started to shake, she wanted to do this, needed to do this, but it didnât mean she didn't fear it. Â
âLeave, all of you,â I wanted to relax, we needed to relax, to forget this just for a moment longer, âjust leave.â I pulled the princess towards my bedroom, they started to file out of my room. A few strayed, I stopped right in front of my door, watching them leave. I let the princess into the bedroom. Mark was at the chamber door, Jaemin and Haechan on his side. Chan, Hyunjin, Fei and Mei stayed behind as well. âWhy donât you guys stay, Iâll be back out in a minute.âÂ
I entered the bedroom, seeing the princess sitting on the bed, typing on her phone. âPrincess,â I reached out to pull at the princess, âthere's people outside for us.âÂ
âMore people?â She questioned, looking tired.
âFriends.â We both walked back into the seating area, seeing our friends standing and sitting around. âJust relax,â I whispered in the princessâ ear. Â
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We sat there, and talked, and exchanged stories, and laughed, and relaxed. I looked at the princess, she was smiling, laughing, and relaxing. There were so many bad things that had happened. I just wanted her to calm down, I wanted her to feel safe. Â
âDonât forget the time Jeno almost got the princess to leave Northcy,â Jaemin laughed out, grabbing my attention. I tried to signal him to shut up, but obviously he didnât notice me. There was a silence that fell over the room. Â
âHuh? What are you talking about?â the princess questioned exchanging looks with Chan.Â
âHe didnâtâŠâ Jaemin looked at me wide eyed, âIâm sorry, I misspoke.âÂ
âNo I donât think you did,â the Princess said, giving me a look.Â
âLook, I am so so sorry, I was being selfish,â Iâm scrambling for words, anything to make this better, pleading she's not too angry with me, âI wasnât thinking straight, I just wanted out of this marriage. You know how it wasâŠâ The Princess was looking at me with a smirk, as she began to laugh.
âJeno, calm down, Iâm not mad,â she spoke, still giggling away. I mustâve looked like a madman.
âYouâre not?â Why isn't she mad, I would be mad, she should be furious with me, she has every right to be.Â
âNo, I probably wouldâve done something similar if I was in your position, but now I owe Chan 5 mons,â she laughed more, shaking her head. Â
âWhat?â I looked at Chan and he just smiled at me. Â
âWhen we got back to the palace, after leaving the airport, Chan made the joke that he bet this was the princeâs idea to get out of the union, I said youâre on.â I donât know if I should be relieved or worried, âyour highness, I should, and would be angry with you, heavens know you deserve itâ she took a deep breath, âbut having nearly died," she paused, it looked as if her eyes became glossy for a second, blinking away any tears she continued on, "I donât want to waste time being angry with youâ She smiled at me, her eyes were caring, filled with something. We stared at each other for a moment, a time stopping moment. I stared at her, I could hear the breath she let out, the calm beat of her heart, the flutter of her eyelashes, I never felt more captivated by another person. Â
The rest of the evening went on, I donât think I ever took my eyes off the princess. I wanted to memorize every word, breath, tick she let fall past her lips. I canât recall a single thing that Jaemin, Mark, or Haechan said that night, but I could tell you that the princess covers her mouth with the back of her hand whenever she's about to laugh too hard. Or that she tucks her hair behind her ear when she's being teased, or that she raises her ears when her name is mentioned, or that she sticks out her tongue, licking her bottom lip when she has something to say. It seemed as if the princess had me under a spell where I could only pay attention to her. I must say I donât mind being spellbound to her. Â
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The next morning , when you awoke the sunlight was peering into the room. You opened your eyes, and for an eighth of a second you forgot the events of the past two days, until you felt the arm draped over your waist. Sleeping in the same bed as Jeno the past two nights has been more comforting than you couldâve imagined. You slid out from Jenoâs embrace, grabbing your phone from the nightstand, and you called your mom. You havenât spoken to her since last week, the last thing she knew was that you and Jeno were getting along nicely, and you didnât think this marriage was gonna be that bad. Â
You wore another pair of Jenoâs sweats and an old shirt, his old clothes being more comfortable than any couture pajama sets you had. You slipped on one of his hoodies, exiting the bedroom, to call your mom. As the phone rang, you sat on the couch, staring out the glass balcony doors, watching the snow, the kingdom has been covered for nearly a week now. The palace being in the mountains, the snow was always falling, never melting, you were finally getting adjusted to the cold, but still always wearing long pants and long sleeve tops. Â
When your mom finally answered the phone, the sound of her voice moved you to tears. You werenât the closest to your mom, but after your sisters died, you two became more dependent on each other. You were her only child left, and she was the only one that could tell you more about your siblings. You explained everything that has happened since you last talked to her. Not a single detail escaping your retelling. Your mother listened attentively, asking questions far too often for the average storyteller. By the time you finished, she was almost convinced that she needed to hop on a jet to come up there and save you. You laughed, telling her that youâre starting to feel better. Youâre ready to move on past the whole event, you need something new to focus on. Your mother reminding you that a wedding should be a good distraction, especially considering her and your father are to be arriving in exactly one week. Â
âI should just come up there now, say Iâm there to help you prepare for the wedding,â your mother stated from the other side of the line. Â
âMother,â you laughed out, âI will be okay for another week without you or daddy. Not to mention Queen Jaeyeon really took care of everything for the wedding, all I really need to do is show up.âÂ
There was a knock at the chamber doors that took half your attention, âare you sure thereâs everything you wanted?â Mother questioned you, you opened the chamber doors to see Mei and Fei on the other side.Â
Moving out of the way to allow them to enter, âin all honesty mother, I donât know if thereâs gonna be anything I like or want.â Â
âWhat do you mean? You had a say, right?â Your mother questioned from the other side.Â
âI did mother,â you placed one hand over the mic, now looking at Mei and Fei, âwhat are you guys doing here?â Lifting your hand from the mic, âbut I didnât really use my say,â you spoke to your mother.Â
âYou have a final dress fitting this morning,â Mei responded back gently.
âWhy didnât you use your say?â Mother barked into your ear at the same time.Â
You nodded at Mei, âMother I was too busy trying to find a way out of my wedding to focus on making decisions for it,â covering the mic again, âI need you guys to go to my chambers and find me something more appropriate to wear,â you say, this time speaking to Mei and Fei.Â
âWhy canât we use the clothes you have here?â Fei asked, making her way to the bedroom, your mother scoffing in your ear at the same time. Â
âWell did you get your surprise yet?â Your mother questioned you, you were signaling at Mei to get her sister. Â
Covering the mic still, âFei, No, the prince is still asleep,â Fei stopped the door slightly ajar. Quietly closing the door, again, Fei turned around bowing in apology to you. âWhat surprise, mother?â you question your mother on the line.Â
âWeâll find you something,â Mei whispered, dragging Fei out of the chambers behind her.Â
âOh,â was all your mother said before rushing to end the call. You looked at the phone, seeing the line going dead. You sighed, but truly feeling better that you talked to her about everything that had happened. Â
The bedroom doors open up to Jeno standing on the other side, âgood morning,â you speak up gently. He smiled a soft gummy smile at you, causing a fit of giggles to come up. Coming up to you, holding you into his embrace.Â
âGood morning,â his voice the exact opposite of his smile. He was still tired, you could hear it in his voice. Â
âI spoke to my mother this morning, she asked if I got my surprise yet,â Jeno threw his head back and groaned, you couldn't help but giggle a little, âwhatâs my surprise?âÂ
âDonât you have somewhere to be this morning?â Jeno let go of you walking away. Â
âYouâre not answering my question,â you watched Jenoâs back, as he pulled off the shirt he was wearing, making his way into the closet. You never quite took notice on how physically fit Jeno was until this moment.
âYou didnât answer mine,â Jeno responded back, still in the closet, you sat on the edge of the bed waiting for him, to walk back out
âI asked first,â you and Jeno moved about each other as if this was how the two of you have been living for a lifetime. Something so routine, you could only hope this is exactly how life would play out after the wedding.
âYouâll see your surprise soon enough,â Jeno came out of the closet in a new dress pants, shoving his dress shirt in. The top buttons still undone, as he was zipping up his pants, your eyes raking over his body, pulling your lip in between your teeth. âPrincess,â Jeno said, grabbing your attention, his face having a knowing look. He came up to you, pulling at your chin forcing you to look at him, but the top few buttons of his shirt remained undone. Â
âLet me help you,â you said softly, pulling your face out of his grasp, you stood from the bed, now doing the buttons for him. You could feel him watching your fingers move, slightly brushing against him, you were overly focused on doing the buttons. Jeno cleared his throat grabbing your attention, you stepped back, the blush dancing across your cheeks. âWhat is your schedule like today?â you asked, turning back around to walk into the bathroom, stopping yourself from helping anymore.Â
âI have a meeting with Taeyong and Father this morning about the Parks, then after that I have a council meeting to attend. The acts of Jisung are considered treason, they need to be brought to the entire council's attention,â Jeno followed after you into the bathroom, no wonder he was dressed so formally you thought. Â
âWhat's going to happen to him?â You looked at Jeno through the vanity mirror. You could see Jeno adjusting a tie around his neck in the mirror. Â
âCurrently thereâs a formal investigation conducted by the palace guard unit, from there he will be taken to court before the council, privately because of his familyâs power. His crimes being of a higher regrade, Father will carry out sentencing personally. You will be asked to make a statement.â You felt your breath hitch, you didnât like this. You just wanted this nightmare to disappear already. Jeno fixed his watch on his wrist, checking the time, âIâve got to go princess,â Jeno came up beside you kissing you on the cheek, you leaned into his touch. The act felt routine, but foreign at the same time. Jeno pulled on a vest, buttoning it, before grabbing his jacket, âIâll see you tonight at dinner,â it looked like he wanted to say more but opted not to. You nodded watching him leave, from your position in front of the vanity mirror.Â
You sat there for a minute just examining your neck, the bruises were in full bloom, you began to cover them up, trying to erase any memory of them. There was a knock on the door signaling that Fei and Mei were back. You just shouted for them to come in. The two of them bringing you a more than appropriate outfit, they stayed with you escorting you to everything through the day. Â
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âIâll see you tonight at dinner,â âI love you,â I should say it, Iâm going to say, I have to say it. I don't say it, opting to just leave instead. I made my way to my father's private drawing room. What I didnât tell the princess was that the investigation is over, sentencing will be tomorrow. The question is not about who did the crime, but more of who aided and abetted the crime.Â
When I entered the room, Father and Taeyong were already talking amongst themselves, I sat down across from Taeyong. The two of them exchanged a look, âwe showed Jisung the video footage of the Jisoo when she was talking to Johnny and when she was talking to Mark, he,â Taeyong paused giving father a glance, to which father just nodded, âhe confessed to Jisoo being the one behind the plan, and he just hired the attacker, however he refuses to put it on paper. Heâs refusing to turn against her, both of them will be brought forward in trial. However, there isn't any hard evidence against her, everything at the moment is circumstantial. It will be difficult for the council to unanimously agree to convict.âÂ
âMajority of the council is aware there is something going on through the whispers of everyone but the official ruling will be held tomorrow, the princess will be expected to give a statement.â Father spoke, I internally groaned at the thought. Â
âI assume the princessâ own maids have been keeping her informed of everything that has been discussed by everyone, but you will still need to go over everything with her. She can not be surprised by anything that is said tomorrow.â Taeyong said, looking at me, I could tell that he cared, he always did what he could to protect those around him. âJeno, weâre trusting you to go over the evidence with her, emotionless. The council is prepared to rip her story apart piece by piece. If you canât make sure sheâs prepared, let us know now.âÂ
âI will go over everything with her, she knows she will be asked to make a statement,â I let out, I would do anything to go back to yesterday when I didnât have to deal with this. I would much rather deal with that priest than having to walk the princess through the steps of a trial.
âWe have to go through everything front and back, we need to make sure that we cannot allow the council to misinterpret anything,â I nodded my head, Taeyong pulled out the files, the three of us going through every piece of information.Â
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You stood in the middle of a room that was turned into a salon. There was a panel of mirrors, and a platform, like one would use for dress shopping. There was a section divider for one to change, as well as a seating area, you looked around the room. There was no one here except you, Fei and Mei.Â
Suddenly the doors opened to reveal Queen Jaeyeon, Grandma Lee, Grandmother Na, and a team of people just swarming in. You felt the energy leave your body, the swarm of people filling you with exhaustion, you exchanged a look with Fei. Fei just shrugged and shook her head.Â
âMy daughter,â Queen Jaeyeon called out, you still cringed at the nickname. She pulled you into an embrace, she was so much smaller than her son, but the embrace held so many similarities. You had been away from him for less than a quarter of the day but you longed for him and his calming presence. âAre you ready to try on your dress?âÂ
âI am,â you answered. Queen Jaeyeon had insisted you wear her wedding dress, there were certain design changes made to try to replicate your perfect dress, but it just wasnât it.
Queen Jaeyeon signaled to someone, they brought forward a box. The person, the seamstress, showed you the contents of the box, it didnât look like Queen Jaeyeonâs dress at all. The seamstress and two other girls pulled the dress out, it was your motherâs dress. The sight bringing tears to your eyes, never in a million years did you think that your mothers dress was your dream dress. However now, seeing it before you, you couldnât imagine anything more perfect. Â
âWhat a beautiful dress, but thatâs not Jaeyon's I thought she was gonna wear yours Jaeyeon?â Grandmother Na said examining the dress, neither her or Grandma Lee attended your earlier dress fittings. Â
âShe was, but Jeno had another idea,â Queen Jaeyeon answered, looking at you, gauging your reaction. She was initially resistant to the idea of you not wearing her dress, however Jeno already made the arrangements before informing her. Now watching you almost being brought to tears by the sight, she knew Jeno made the right call. Â
âThis was Prince Jenoâs idea?â This is what your mother was talking about, your surprise. Â
âHe said that it was unfair to you. You were forced to have a wedding in a foreign place, surrounded by foreign people, so to offer some semblance of a wedding you would have liked, he got your mother to send her own dress.â Queen Jaeyeon looked at you like one would to their own daughter, and you so much longed for your own mother, you opened your mouth to ask âhow.â âHe made the called about a month ago, finding it, sending it to the seamstress to be altered, and some details were added based on what you said, it arrived just a little while ago, in time for the last fitting,â Queen Jaeyeon answered all your questions, and you couldnât stop the smile spreading across your face. Â
âThank you,â you bowed lowly to Queen Jaeyeon, you felt so much gratitude, it overwhelmed you. Â
You changed into the dress, standing on the platform looking at yourself in the mirror, you felt like a bride. The compliments flowing from everyone were endless, you glanced at Fei and Mei, both of whom nodded in approval, but it didnât calm your nerves nearly as much as you thought.  Everything was perfect in every way, but it still didnât feel right, you needed something else, something more. âFei, Mei,â you whispered to call their attention, the two of them ushered over to you, âI want everyone to leave, and I want Chan, please.â The two nodded their heads and made quick work of it. Before you even turned back around, everyone was leaving, you donât know what lie Fei said to get them to leave but you were thankful, and Met set off to get Chan.Â
You waited a mere 10 minutes before the door opened again, this time, Mei was accompanied by Chan and Hyunjin. The two boys ushered in looking around confused, not entirely understanding the reason for their presence. You smiled at the sight of confusion, it reminded you of times long forgotten. Â
âPrincess,â Hyunjin bowed, and you grimaced, he looked up to you, â(y/n),â he apologized. It was an unspoken thing between you and Hyunjin, he would call you âprincess,â if you nodded along, he was your guard, if you flinched, he called you â(y/n)â as an apology and he was your friend. âWhatâs wrong?â he plopped down onto the couch casually, you enjoyed seeing him relax, it put you at ease to remember he was still a friend. Â
Chan stood further back than you would like, taking in all of you in that dress. You had no idea how many times Chan imagined you in a wedding dress, he just hoped that when it became a reality he was standing at the end of the aisle, not in a salon. âMy princess,â Chan finally let out a breath. Â
âWhat do you think?â The question was meant for everyone, but it was directed to Chan. The rest of the group turned to Chan, watching his every move. They held their breath, waiting for either of you to make a move.Â
Chan took a deep breath, reminding himself you were not his fiancĂ©e, âyou look absolutely stunning,â he smiled at you fondly. Â
âDo you really think so?â You turned back around examining yourself in the mirror, it seemed as if every imperfection was circled with a red marker.Â
â(y/n),â Chan looked at you through the mirror, âit looks amazing on you,â you turned back around facing him, âyou are an embodiment of beauty,â Chan took your hand as you stepped down from the platform, pressing against him, âand you look nothing less than perfect in this dress.â There was a moment, you just stared at Chan and he stared back at you. Just a moment, where it was just you and him again, and everything you wanted to say was said. âPrince Jeno is very lucky, and he will think the same as I when he sees you,â Chan said, taking a step back away from you.  Â
Chanâs reassurances made all the previous nerves disappear, almost vanishing into thin air. âThank you,â you pulled Chan in for a hug, that probably lasted longer than it should have. âWhat do you guys think?â you turned to the rest of your friends, all of them holding big smiles. The outpour of compliments came again and this time, you believed them. Â
You had Mei bring in Queen Jaeyeon and her team of people, while Fei sent Chan and Hyunjin away. You felt undoubtedly happy about the dress, about the wedding, about your friends, even about Chan. You felt like even without being intimately with him, he was still in your corner, he was still your friend. That reminder puts you at ease more than anything anyone could say.Â
After measuring some readjustments with the seamstress, you changed out of the dress, and back into your original outfit. Queen Jaeyeon reminded you of this afternoonâs luncheon, which was to be held in the city, at one of the resorts that the Na noble family frequented. You were to ride with Queen Jaeyeon down to the luncheon. She reassured you that even though there was gonna be lots and lots of press, that you weren't required to talk to anyone, all you had to do was show your face. âAll you need to do is look happy to be there, that's all we need,â was Queen Jaeyeonâs exact words. Â
You had exactly an hour, before you had to be back downstairs to ride with Queen Jaeyeon. You made your way to Jenoâs chamber, since the majority of your stuff was there. When you entered you were greeted by Jeno sitting behind his desk, he was writing something down, his eyebrows knitted together in what appeared to be frustration. His fingers pushing in on his temple, he was so deep in thought not even noticing you standing on the other side of the room. You turned to dismiss Fei and Mei, the two understanding seamlessly, your gaze traveling around the room. Â
Jenoâs jacket was tossed onto the couch, âyou know,â Jeno looked up to see who, relaxing further into his seat when he realized it was you, picking up the abandoned jacket, âif you just toss this around, there's going to be wrinkles.â You tried for a stern look but failed desperately as the prince smiled at you. Â
âMy apologies Princess,â Jeno watched you enter the bedroom, pulling a hanger from the closet, hanging his jacket before gently laying it on the couch, ensuring there weren't any unnatural bends. âDid you like your surprise?â He asks with his infamous head tilt and smirk.Â
âI did very much,â you smiled, remembering, âdid you meet with the council already?â
Jeno groaned at your question, âNo,â he glanced at his wrist watch, âI have to be downstairs to meet with them in half an hour,â he went back to the papers on his desk, before going back to look at you, âI just came up here you look at some paperwork.â He started to flip a few papers over, not wanting you to see the images of your bedroom, on them.  Â
âI have to leave in an hour to attend the charity luncheon,â you said to change the subject, Jeno nodded along. Â
âCome, sit with me for a moment,â you looked at Jeno as he pushed away from his desk, turning his chair and patting his thigh. The red that danced across your cheeks became very noticeable. Jeno smirked seeing you become flustered with the suggestion. Nevertheless, you sat, Jenoâs arms sliding around you, finding purchase on his waist, your arms going up around his neck. Â
The two of you sat there in utter silence just enjoying each other, you felt the urge to kiss the prince. Your gaze shifting between his eyes and lips constantly, you allowed yourself to lean in. Jeno did the same.Â
âJeno!â The chamber doors barged open, walking in, Jaemin and Haechan, Mark being nowhere in sight. You jumped, pulling away from the prince, standing up. You willed the blush to settle, as Jeno let out a slight audible groan at the interruption. Jaeminâs mouth made an O-shape, while Haechanâs eyes went wide, âdidnât mean to interrupt.â Jaeminâs expression changed into a knowing smirk, as Haechan hung his head to stifle a laugh. Â
âThen leave,â Jenoâs face screwed with irritation. You cleared your throat, in a way to reprimanded the prince, âwhat do you want?â Jeno asked, with a much annoyed look.Â
Jaemin plopped down onto the couch, rested his feet on the coffee table and whipped his head to look at his cousin, âjust wanted to see you.â Jenoâs expression became more irritated, and Jaemin let out a laugh not taking his cousin seriously, he turned more to look at you now, âmy apologies if I embarrassed you princess.â Â
âNo apology needed Jaemin,â you smiled at the boy, âIf you boys donât mind I need to get ready for a luncheon.â You looked at Jeno, and he smiled at you, nodding his head. You made your way into the bedroom, closing the doors behind you. After a few seconds you heard the commotion of a fight, but before you went back out it was followed by laughter. You smiled to yourself, your smile growing as you remembered what could've happened.
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Taglist:@floweronacloud@cookydream@nctstrawberrycow@marklexleaf@jvjsssnaa@thejeongjaehyun@thejungjaehyun@jackyeongljin@terjeno@tyongf-sunflower99@tgnctzen131@gooreumic@jenotation@nctdom@ficklehoe@itsveronicaxxx@actually-vl@her33n@tomorrowbymoa-together@bangtan-jam@sweetsubakk @onlyoursol-ace
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[12:23] âI wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes, youâll get it babeâ
You were listening to music in the background as you finished your makeup. Getting ready for a night out with Jenoâs friends for one of their birthdays. You werenât exactly paying attention to the music playing, but since Jeno had finished getting ready over 20 minutes ago, he was paying attention.
âSeven positions?â Jeno questioned gaining part of your attention.
âWhat?â you asked, as you tried to finish the lining of your lips.
âThe song, seven positions, seventy minutes?â
You couldnât help but smirk just a little, âwe both know you can last longer than seventy minutes,â you turned to focus all of your attention on your boyfriend.
âYeah, but what about seven positions?â Jeno asked as his eyes raked up and down your figure. You couldâve sworn you saw his pupils dilate, looking darker than ever.
You raised a brow at your boyfriend, as he stalked his way towards. âSeven positions for seventy minutes?â Jeno asked once again in a whisper.
You knew you could handle Jeno for seventy minutes, but you didnât know if you could handle him in seven different positions.
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to the person that binge read 'the nanny' on valentines day, are you okay babes?
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A Racer's Heart
Chapter 05
F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin
Preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05âŠ
Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers
Warnings: swearing, car crash
Word Count: 3.1K+
Author's Note:
----------------------------
You watched as Jenoâs car spun out of his control, into the barrier. You swear that time moved a bit slower as the car made contact, and metal bits began flying away from the crash site. The steam rises from the car, as the crowd goes silent. Everything stops in the garage, as the team looks out to the circuit, waiting for a sign. All you can hear is the hum of the cars pulling into the pit lane as the red flags wave. They also wait for a sign. Â
âJeno?â you call out over the radio to him. Youâre met with silence, and you call again, âJeno, are you okay?â to just be met with more silence. You call again, more frantically, âJeno, you there?â and again silence has met you. Â
You pause, you digest this moment, you account for everything, you rationalize, before you rip off your headset, and try to run out to him, because you feel too helpless in your station. You donât make it far, you donât even make it out the garage. Jaemin catches your waist, pulling you back, he didnât even make it out of the pits to get in his practice laps before Jeno crashed. Â
âI canât,â you begin to choke on your words, trying to convince yourself that Jenoâs alright, âI canât hear him,â you try to say as your heart pounds harder against your chest, you donât know if thatâs what Jaemin heard. You can feel the looks of pity you get from the team, they donât know Jeno like you do. They donât have that connection with Jeno, like you do. Jaemin doesnât say anything, he doesnât know what to say. He has seen and has been in his fair share of crashes. It never gets easier. You never get used to it. You all just wait for the sign of life.Â
Youâre crying into Jaeminâs arms, as he refuses to let you go, too afraid youâll try to dart out to Jeno.  You all watch the monitor as the medical staff and the race stewards attend to Jenoâs car. You are all waiting for a sign, any sign at this point.   Â
You donât remove your eyes from the monitor, you tune out the buzz around the garage. You just watch the monitor, you feel Jaeminâs arms around you. Youâre thankful Jaemin is holding you here, he keeps you grounded in this moment. You watch more, not really able to process anything else. Â
You can hear the noise of people behind you, the team in the garage. You canât pull your mind away to focus on what everyone is saying. Youâre still waiting for a sign. Jaemin shakes you slightly to get your attention. âThey got him,â Jaemin says, and it finally gets to you. Jaemin slips the headset on you. Â
ây/n,â you hear Jenoâs voice call out to you, his voice never sounded sweeter, âIâm here y/n.â You choke up once more hearing his voice again, âthe medical team needs me to get out of the car to do my check up, okay?â You nod your head, forgetting that he canât see you right now. âDear, I need you to talk to me, Iâm not leaving till I hear your voice,â Jeno makes his requests. Â
âI hear you, JenoâŠIâll see you inside,â you say breathlessly, as happy tears fall. Â
âOkay dear, Iâll see you inside,â Jeno says, before you watch him climb out of his car, and wave to the spectators. You hear the roar from the crowd, you hear the cheers from the team, you hear it all now. You wipe away your tears, trying to go calm yourself back down. Â
âHeâs okay,â Jaemin whispers to just you, as he wipes away more of your stray tears, âheâs okay,â Jaemin repeats once more. Youâre more thankful that Jaemin repeated his words to you. Â
You nod your head, finally understanding, âheâs okay.â You let out a breath, heâs okay, you repeat to yourself once more. Â
They donât take long to clear the track, as free practice is set to restart in the next minute. The garage is back in full swing again, as they bring Jenoâs car back in. You can hear the hum of Jaeminâs car starting as they are preparing him to go out. You begin to clean your station, and do breathing exercises to slow your heart rate down. Â
ây/n,â Mark called out to you, âJaemin asking for you.âÂ
You nodded your head, slipping on a headset to hear Jaemin, âJaemin? This is y/n.âÂ
âAre you okay? I don't want to leave the garage if youâre gonna try to run out on to the circuit again,â Jaemin jokes. Â
You chuckle, taking his joke kindly, âIâm okay, no more darting out onto the circuit.â Â
âGood, I'll see you after practice.âÂ
âOkay,â you say, as you slip off the headset. Mark does a little smirk towards you, to which you just shake your head. Â
-
While Jaemin drove the circuit, over and over again, he could only think of you. He couldnât think about when was the best moment to press on the brakes, or when he should get back on the throttle, or which was the best turn to overtake. His mind just replayed images of you. The image of you caring about Jeno so much that you were willing to risk your own life. The image of you crying because the thought of Jeno being hurt, physically hurt you too. The image of you being in Jaeminâs arms but only thinking of Jeno. One date. Â
Thatâs all it was, a single date to apologize for putting you in a dangerous situation by leaving you alone. Thatâs all it was. Jaemin didnât expect the date to go so well that he didnât want it to end. He was so used to people only liking the party side of his life, but not you. You listened to Jaemin ramble on and on about his favorite cars, and badminton, and his family, and so much more. You paid attention to the other parts of his life that he loved just as much as he loved Formula 1. You listened to him when no one else did. Â
You listened to Jaemin, but youâve been listening to Jeno. Jeno was someone you spent years and years with. You might have been Jaeminâs person, but he was certainly not yours. Â
-
Jeno gets a proper check up from the medical tent, and heâs cleared before he returns to the garage. He feels like shit for crashing out, especially during free practice. When Jeno gets back into the garage, everyone pats Jeno on the back for coming back alive. Jeno doesnât mean to brush everyone off, but he does in his search for you. When he does see you, he immediately pulls you close. You welcome Jenoâs embrace, it settles your nerves. The two of you stay in an embrace, for a solid minute. You remind yourself once more that heâs okay. Â
You pull away first, âwhat happened?âÂ
Jeno takes a moment before answering your question, he looks at you fully, grateful to have you here in the garage for him. He sighs before answering your question, âI donât know.â Jeno pulls away fully, now examining his car, as the mechanics begin to pull away the damaged parts. âIt was like the brake wasn't fully right.âÂ
âI meant when you crashed, you didnât answer my radio, initially, you donât ever do that,â you ask again, more clarified now. Â
Jeno continues to examine the car for a moment before turning back to you, âoh, I passed out from the amount of G-force, they had to use smelling salt to wake me up.â You assume your face gives away your emotions, as Jeno comes up to cup your face, âIâm okay dear, the medical team cleared me and everything, Taeyong even has a paper that says Iâm okay.â Â
You relax a bit, and nod your head. You grip Jenoâs hand that's on your face, you remind yourself again that heâs okay. You watched him crash a number of times before, but he never passed out before. He never met your radio calls with silence. âDo you feel okay?âÂ
âIâm okay,â Jeno smiles, his smile that curves his eyes. His smile settles your heart. Â
âHands off!â Johnny, the chief technical officer, shouts, indicating to stop working on Jenoâs car, both gaining yours and Jenoâs attention. âGet me Taeyong now,â Johnny yells at one of the interns hiding away in the corner. You watch the intern scurry away, probably running for their life.Â
âJohnny, whatâs up?â Jeno asks, pulling away, going to where Johnny was standing, looking at what Johnny was looking at.  Â
Before Johnny can answer Jenoâs question, Taeyong along with the intern come back into the garage. âJohnny, why do you need me?â Taeyong asks, as he strolls inside, you assume he wasnât far considering how fast he got here.
âLook at this Tae,â Johnny says pointing at a specific part in Jenoâs car. You walk towards Jeno to see what Johnny is pointing at. You notice a few wires that seem to be sliced, with a piece of electrical tape surrounding it, âthatâs the brake lines,â Johnny reveals. Â
âShit,â you hear Taeyong mumble under his breath. âThereâs no way this is an accident?â Â
âNo, the brake line is wrapped in a different color to insure this doesnât happen,â Johnny says, shaking his head. Â
âShit,â Taeyong repeats again. Â
âYou said,â you start to speak up, putting pieces together in your head, âthe brakes didnât feel good.â You look towards Jeno, as he stares at his car. Â
âLike it wasnât fully right.â Jeno says, confirming what you said earlier.Â
âShit,â Taeyong shouts aloud this time, âget me the race director and the FIA president, now!âÂ
-
You and Jeno sit around the motorhome, waiting for Taeyong to exit his office. Heâs been locked up there with the race director, and Johnny, along with the FIA president over the phone. No one has been allowed near Jenoâs car, or his side of the garage, since Johnny found out about the cut wire. You learn that the wire that was cut only controls the rear tires, thatâs how Jeno lost control in one of the turns. Whatever mechanics that usually work on Jenoâs car were also sitting around, knowing that the longer Taeyong was locked up in his office, the less time they would have to fix the car. Â
âYou okay?â you asked Jeno, as he was sitting next to you. Â
âJust sitting with the fact that someone tried to kill me by cutting my brakes,â Jeno said with a sweet smile, as your face dropped, âjokes jokes, iâm fine dear.âÂ
âNot funny Jeno,â you say, as you begin to fidget a bit, you really thought you lost him today. Â
âHey,â Jeno called out, grabbing your attention, forcing you to look at him, he pulled your hand into his, âI really am okay.âÂ
You nodded your head, taking Jenoâs word at face value, you squeezed his hand to silently say you believe him.  âWhat do you think theyâre talking about, in there?âÂ
âI donât know,â Jeno answered, as you both looked at Taeyongâs office door, âwhatever they are saying, I hope it allows me to race this weekend.â The two of you continue to lounge around there, not really sure what you should be doing. Nobody really knows what to do. There hasnât really been a situation like this before.Â
âJeno,â Jaemin calls out as he makes his way into the motorhome. His race suit tied around his waist, the fireproofs hugging his waist, and his arms, and his chest. The sight has you licking your lips, taking all of him in. He walks in carrying a couple beers with Mark following behind him. Jaemin hands a beer to Jeno, âyou ainât driving anywhere today.â Jeno sighs, taking the beer from Jaemin, cracking it open to take a sip. Â
Jaemin hands you a beer as well, you decline, not exactly feeling comfortable with drinking, even if you know it hasnât been drugged. âYou okay?â Jaemin asks, looking at you, before tucking a stray hair behind your ear, gently brushing the back of his knuckles against your face. You smile a bit, before nodding your head. Jaemin slides down into a seat at the table. You feel Jenoâs gaze slightly narrow as he watches you and Jaemin interact.  Â
 âRumor going around that someone cut your brake line?â Mark asks, pulling the attention away from you and Jaemin. Â
âThatâs what it looks like, no idea why or how,â Jeno sighs as he leans back in his chair, sipping the beer that Jaemin gave him. âItâs a miracle it held up for as long as it did, looking at the slice, I shouldâve lost control of the brakes on the first lap.â Â
âWe should call it a night, waiting here or in your bed isnât gonna change anything,â Jaemin says looking at Jeno. Â
âYeah, youâre probably right,â Jeno sighs again, you know he feels disappointed with the outcome of today. âShall we go?â Jeno asks, turning to look at you. Â
âWhenever youâre ready,â you smile. Â
âWeâll go after I finish my beer,â Jeno says, holding up the bottle to show you. Â
âOkay,â you say with a smile and a nod. Â
âYou guys always leave together?â Mark asks, gaining the attention of the table. Â
âTry to,â Jeno answers for you, âI promised y/nâs parents, I would always look after her.â Jeno smiles as he reminisces, thinking about that moment years ago. Â
âThat was a long time ago already,â you sigh, with a small shake of your head. Â
âHer parents?â Jaemin questions, sitting up now, looking at Jeno. Â
âYeah, when I asked y/n to leave F4 and follow me into F3,â Jeno says with that same smile, thinking back to old times, âF3 has so much more traveling around the world compared to F4 that I had to meet with her parents to convince them to let her join the F3 prema team. She said that if they didnât agree, she wouldnât go.âÂ
âThat was years ago, you donât need to continue to be looking out for me,â you repeat to Jeno for the millionth time since you've both left F3.  Â
âIâm always going to be looking out for you,â Jeno says, looking at you with a much more sentimental look now. You feel your shoulders drop, and you sigh. You know regardless of what you say now or in the future, Jeno will always be trying to protect you. Â
âOkay,â you stop putting up a fight about it tonight. You donât want to fight tonight about insignificant things. You hear Jeno mutter an âalways,â under his breath. You know what he means, and you canât help but to smile.Â
-
You make it back to the paddock the next morning a bit earlier than you had initially intended. You decide on some coffee and maybe a patisserie wouldn't hurt while you wait for some more of the staff to arrive for the morning meetings. After grabbing your breakfast you make your way into the garage. At this time in the morning the garage should still be empty, so itâs the perfect quiet place for a few minutes to yourself. Â
When you round the corner, you hear a voice. Itâs clearly Jaeminâs voice, and he seems to be speaking to someone. Most likely on the phone, as you donât hear anyone else. You donât eavesdrop on his private conversation. Youâre just simply overhearing a conversation. Happens all the time, everywhere. Just overhearing a conversation when you walk past. Â
At least thatâs what you tell yourself, as you silently make your way to your station, hanging onto every word that Jaemin speaks. âHeâs not hurt, Dad,â Jaemin sighs. He sounds tired, maybe frustrated. âIâm doing a lot better now than at the start of the season.â Jaemin definitely sounds frustrated with that statement. When you finally get to your station, you think you should put on some earbuds, and stop listening to Jaeminâs conversation, but then something catches your ear. âWhere did you hear that Dad? I donât know anything about it⊠I would never⊠Wait, youâre happy someone did that?â Â
You start to hear Jaemin pace back and forth, âhe couldâve died Dad,â Jaemin says as you hear his voice get closer. âWhat if that was my car?â Jaemin says as he rounds the corner to come face to face with you. You assume you look like a deer in headlights, âIâve got to go, Iâll talk to you another time,â Jaemin says quickly, ending the call. He doesnât look like himself, he seems too tense. His eyebrows are furrowed too close together, not his normal. His shoulders are perfectly squared, his posture perfectly upright. Â
âShould I ask?â about that callâŠ
âNo,â Jaemin says, as he slips his phone into his pocket. You watch him take a deep breath, seemingly changing before your eyes. He goes back into the persona heâs comfortable with. His shoulders relax, he has a bit of a slouch, his eyebrows relax. âWhat are you doing here so early sweetheart?â He asks with a signature smirk. Â
You respect Jaeminâs request and you donât ask about the phone call, âthought I would get a headstart on the day.âÂ
âDonât work too hard, pretty,â Jaemin says, as he makes his way past you, leaving the garage. You sit at your station, and start going through your emails. However, Jaemin's words play over and over again in your mind. Â
âHeâs not hurt, Dad.â First, Jaemin is clearly talking to his father. âHeâs not hurt,â could be referring to a number of people. Someone that Jaemin is in contact with but not the father. Jeno, he crashed yesterday. Jaemin is telling his dad that Jeno isnât hurt. Â
âIâm doing a lot better now than at the start of the season.â Jaemin did get off to a rough start at the beginning of the season, he wasnât performing nearly as well as he should have been. Â
âWhere did you hear that,â Jaeminâs dad heard about something that clearly caught Jaemin off guard. Â
âI donât know anything about it,â Jaemin doesnât know anything about what his father heard.Â
âI would never.â Jaemin wouldnât do what his father heard happened.Â
âWait, youâre happy someone did that?â Jaeminâs father is happy with what occurred but Jaemin isnât.Â
âHe could've died Dad.â Whatever Jaeminâs dad is happy about, couldâve ended someoneâs life. Â
âWhat if that was my car?â It happened to someoneâs car. You placed the last piece of the puzzle, to reveal the big picture at the end. Jenoâs brake line.Â
You felt sick to your stomach, Jaeminâs dad was happy that someone had cut Jenoâs brake line, even though it couldâve ended his life.
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Taglist:@90sgatsby-jjh@neothingss@lanadreamie@cuteejeno@fariylixie0915@kikiisda1
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[00:21] âJisung, do you have any explanation for the behavior your partner displayed today during the celebrations?â A reporter had asked Football player!Jisung, at the post-game press conference. Luckily for Jisung the PR person had given him a run down of what happened before he entered the press conference room. Â
âYou mean when my partner defended themselves after another fan harassed them by grabbing their behinds without consent?â Jisung asked the reporter to make sure he knew the context of the original question. Â
âIs your partner really defending themselves when the other person is walking away with a black eye?â The reporter further questioned Jisung. Â
âThat person is lucky theyâre walking away at all, if I was thereâŠâÂ
âOkay, weâre gonna end the press conference right there,â a representative of the team had interrupted as they walked onto stage, while other people came to usher the some of the team, along with Jisung, out of the room.Â
-
Later that day as you were walking out of the stadium, with a million and one, cameras and reporters surrounding you all shouting at you to comment on the situation. Â
âY/n arenât you worried about how you will be viewed in the eyes of the younger generation?â A reporter had asked. This question being the only one causing you to stop. Â
âThis is the only time that I will be speaking about todayâs situation, and I want to make a few things clear. First and foremost, my actions are not a representation of Jisung, or the team, in any way. Secondly, if you want to better understand todayâs situation, you can ask the police as they took a report of the incident. Lastly, you should never place your hands on another individual without consent. The abusive behavior showcased by that individual should never be tolerated, and I seriously hope that organizations will take more serious action against the abusive behavior that has been shown. I hope that these games are a safe space for all fans.â After that you left the stadium with Jisung in hand. While reporters and cameras chased the two of you down for more comments about todayâs events. Â
Only when you and Jisung were in the car, away from anyone being able to hear your conversation, did you speak up again. âIâm sorry for how I acted today, I shouldnât cause this kind of trouble.âÂ
Jisung squeezed your hand, âI'm not sorry, Iâm very proud of you for defending yourself,â Jisung said with a smile.Â
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A Racer's Heart
Chapter 04
F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin
Preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05âŠ
Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers
Warnings: swearing, car crash
Word Count: 3.6K+
Author's Note: You know when I start my story, I always have an idea of where it's going but then I start writing and suddenly I have no idea where it's going. Like if you ask me who is y/n gonna end up with, I have no idea. Like you guys are finding out with me about how this story will turn out lmaooo. I also notice that this story isn't doing that well compared to my others, and idk if its because my writing it starting to suck or because there's not a lot of nct fans that are also formula 1 fans lol. nevertheless hugs and kisses to anyone reading <333
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Part of your job, as Jenoâs race engineer, is ensuring that Jeno remains confident in his ability and his car. Your job becomes extra hard when Jeno allows external influences or events to linger in his mind. Then there's an added level of difficulty, if the events that are lingering on Jenoâs mind involve you. Â
It was clear that Jenoâs mind wasnât where it was supposed to be in Azerbaijan and Canada, when Jeno finished outside of the points in both. This weekend, you guys were in the UK, silverstone. You hoped that you could get his mind in the right state for the race.  Â
âJust get out there and race,â you tried to find the right words to encourage Jeno. Â
âI know,â Jeno said as he hung his head, fiddling with gloves, as he sat in the car on the circuit. Â
âJen,â you called out to him once more, to get him to look at you before you had to go back into the garage. âIâm okay, I promise.âÂ
âMy helmet, please,â Jeno said as he pointed to his helmet on the nose of the car, not acknowledging your earlier words. You sighed, handing Jeno his helmet. Â
âBe safe,â you say as you place a hand on Jenoâs helmet after he puts it on. The visor doesnât let you see Jenoâs eyes, but you feel him nod slightly. You leave your place on the circuit going back to the garage to take your seat. You put on your headset, âcheck? Can you hear me Jen?âÂ
âLoud and clear dear,â Jeno chuckled, âletâs score some points, yeah?âÂ
âYou know what to do Jen.âÂ
-
âWeâre entering lap 23, and you can see Martin, the battle between the NCT teammates are starting to heat upâÂ
You watched the monitor, seeing what everyone watching on TV was seeing. âThis isnât good,â Mark said, from the other side, as he watched his own monitor.Â
âWe told them they were allowed to race,â Taeyong said, as he watched what you guys were watching. Jeno and Jaemin were going into the turns side by side, coming wheel to wheel. Â
âIt doesnât sound like they are giving out any team orders in the NCT garage, Croftyâ
âI donât like this Taeyong, theyâre gonna crash,â you spoke up, not liking this. Neither Taeyong nor Mark knew what happened in Monaco, when they asked if something happened, both Jeno and Jaemin shrugged it off as the season was getting more serious now. Â
âThis is very interesting Martin, usually drivers are arguing with the team to give out orders or not, but it is silence on the NCT team radioâ
âLet them race, as long as theyâre not bashing each other on the radio where all the teams can hear, theyâre not causing problems.âÂ
âI would think you have to give out orders to ensure both drivers score points for the championship, if not they could crash which would take them out of the points completelyâ
The race continued on with them going back and forth, it wasnât until Ocon closed in on them that they stopped racing each other and defended their respective positions. They crossed the finish line P8, Jeno, and P9, Jaemin. Picking up another six points for the team. You took the largest sigh of relief when the checkered flag finally waved. Â
âP8 Jen, good job,â you spoke into the radio to Jeno. Â
âThank you,â Jeno said, in a rather monotone voice, as he finished out his cool down lap. Â
âI wonder whatâs happening in the NCT garage, I guess weâll have to ask in the post-race interviewsâ
You sighed, watching the broadcast of the race. After doing his weigh in, Jeno went straight to the media bullpen to finish his requirements. However, when Jaemin finished his weigh-in, he came to find you. ây/n a word, please?âÂ
âSure,â you said as you put down your stuff, and stepped away with Jaemin. Your breath started to get short, as you walked further into the garage, away from most people. This wasnât like Jaemin. Usually, if Jaemin had something to say, he would just say it, regardless of who was around.Â
When Jaemin finally stopped, and looked towards you, you began to feel nervous about what Jaemin had to say. âJeno told you what happened that night in Monaco?âÂ
You took a breath, âHe only told me what he knew, there's still a few hours missing because no one was there with me.â You answered his question honestly, but it still looked like the answer pained him. Â
âI see,â Jaemin didnât meet your eyes, which was very unlike him. Jaemin always portrayed confidence. He said everything on his mind, he looked people in the eyes, he stood tall. The person in front of you didnât portray that confidence. âIt feels like Jeno is still angry with me for that night, and he has every right to be, I put you in danger. So I just want to apologize again, I shouldâve never left you like that, especially when you told me you werenât familiar with the area.âÂ
You felt bad for Jaemin, he had apologized to you every weekend since Monaco. He hasnât stopped apologizing, even after you told him you forgave him. Even after you told Jeno, you forgave him. Jaemin continued to apologize. You know he shouldnât have left you alone, but what was done was done. Everything ended up okay in the end, there was nothing more to be done already. Â
You were about to accept another apology when Jeno shouted your name from across the garage. The roughness of Jenoâs voice, caused shivers to run down your spine. You turned back to see him, and watched as he stared daggers at Jaemin. âIâm sorry Jaemin,â you whispered, as you walked towards Jeno. Â
You followed Jeno back up to his room, you made sure to shut the door before speaking up, âthat wasnât necessary.â Jeno didnât respond to you, instead gathering his clothes to rinse off before leaving for the day. âJeno you need to forgive Jaemin already, I have, why canât you do the same?âÂ
Jeno continued to ignore you.Â
âJeno, Iâm talking to you, the least you can do is look at me.â Jeno turned around to face you, his face stuck in a scowl. You felt your shoulders drop, and your eyes softened, âIâm okay Jeno, I really am okay.âÂ
âAnd what if you werenât?â Jeno asked, a little louder than his normal. âWhat if I didnât get there in time? What if I didnât pick up the phone that night? What if you didnât go to the restroom? What if you werenât okay?â Jeno asked, as you saw the tears brim his eyes, Jeno dropped to a seat. You followed, finding a spot right next to him. â10 minutes, it took me 10 minutes to get to you. For 10 minutes I could only imagine the worst happening to you. For 10 minutes I had to figure out how to explain to your parents that you were dead. For 10 minutes I couldnât protect you. For 10 minutes, I was completely helpless. And it was my fault.â Â
You wiped away your own tears, âitâs not,â you whispered as you stared down at your lap. You took a deep breath, you could blame Jaemin for leaving you alone. You could blame yourself for not watching your drink. You could blame the bartender for allowing it to happen, but there was only one person to blame. âItâs the guy who drugged me, that's who's at fault, no one else. Not Jaemin and especially not you. You canât blame a predator's actions on you Jeno.â You grabbed Jenoâs hand, squeezing it, now looking at him. Â
âHow are you so okay with this?â Jeno asked with a slight shake of his head.Â
âWhen you grow up knowing that no matter what you do, you will still be at risk, you get used to it, I guess.â You felt Jenoâs eyes on you while you looked ahead. Jeno grabbed your cheek, pressing your temple to his lips. You cracked a small smile, enjoying the feeling of Jenoâs lips on you. The two of you stayed in that position for a minute. You didnât want to move, to disrupt the delicate peace that was in place. Â
-
As soon as the Silverstone Grand Prix ended, you headed up to Austria with the majority of the team. Jeno, Jaemin, along with a few team members stayed in the UK for another day. The rumor that was being traded amongst team members is that Jeno and Jaemin needed to stay behind for a team bonding moment. You kept your comments to yourself, knowing that Jeno just stayed in the UK for an extra day to visit some friends out there that he didnât get to see over the weekend. Â
When you arrived in Austria, you and some of Jenoâs mechanics got together to âwork,â it really was just you guys at a bar drinking and shooting darts. You stayed away from the alcohol, not really feeling comfortable drinking. Even if you wanted to drink, you couldnât because Jeno bothered you every five minutes. You swear you have had partners who texted you less in your entire relationship with them, than Jeno has texted him since youâve been out tonight. Â
âYour driver and you are awfully close,â someone commented, peeking over your shoulder. Â
âOh Jeno,â you shrugged, âweâve been friends a long time, thatâs why.âÂ
âI see,âÂ
âIâm sorry I didnât get your name,â you smiled, sticking out your hand, âIâm y/n.âÂ
The other person took your hand, âI know, Iâm Renjun, a race engineer for NCT. I was working with Danny, the driver before Jeno.âÂ
âI see,â you hesitated, worried about where the conversation was going.Â
âI was excited to work with Jeno, but then Taeyong said that Jeno was bringing in his own race engineer,â Renjun said, beforing sipping the beer in his hand.Â
Before Jeno was in F1, he was in Prema Racing, and so were you. It was easy to move around and follow Jeno, because you remained a part of Prema Racing. So all you had to do was move up within the same team, like Jeno. When Jeno left F2, and Prema Racing, he insisted you do the same. So you did, you left Prema and applied for Alfa Romeo. And you were content, you couldâve stayed at Alfa Romeo, you wanted to stay at Alfa Romeo. However Jeno insisted that you needed to be with him in NCT, and he made sure of it. He had it as a part of his contract with NCT, a job for you, to ensure you followed him.
âIâm sorry, I didnât,â you stuttered out a half-ass apology, not sure what to say at all. At this time, Renjun cracked a smile. Â
âIâm just giving you a hard time,â Renjun laughed, âItâs really fine, itâs amazing what you and Jeno have.âÂ
You tried to chuckle away the awkwardness, âwhat do you mean by that?âÂ
âIâve watched you guys these past few races, Jeno holds a lot of trust in you, he doesnât question any of the strategy choices you make for him.âÂ
You repeat the same thing that you always tell yourself to Renjun, âHe just knows that I know what he likes.âÂ
âNo it's more than that, Iâve worked with drivers before, Jeno has like,â Renjun pauses, you watch him look for the right word to string into his sentence, âfaith that you will do whatever is best for him, even if it goes against the greater good.â Renjun jokes.  Â
You smile, never thinking about it like that, âI want him to win, soâŠyeah, I guess I do whatever is best for him.â Â
âIt's amazing Jeno has someone like you in his corner for the races.âÂ
-
Renjunâs words carry a certain weight with you, as the night goes on. You find yourself picking apart his meaning behind them, mulling over them again and again. You go through all your time with Jeno, from when you first met him until now. You wonder if you always did what was best for Jeno. You even carry his words with you into the Thursday, during the first strategy meetings. Â
âWhere are you?â Jeno asked softly, during the meeting when he noticed you werenât really paying attention. Â
You shook your head, focusing back on Taeyong as he spoke. Jeno watched you for a moment longer, before turning his attention back to Taeyong as well.  You listen attentively as Taeyong drones on, about different plans and which tire to use when. You push Renjunâs words to the back of your mind, and decide to handle it at another time. Â
Just when the meeting ends and Renjunâs words start to creep up again, the perfect distraction makes his way towards you. ây/n,â Jaemin says almost breathlessly, âI need to ask you something.â Jaemin looks panicked, as he stands in front of you, almost like heâs gonna vomit whatever he says next. Â
âOkay,â you say with fake worry, entertaining whatever Jaemin wants to say. He can tell you're mocking him a little, but it doesnât stop him. Â
âLet me take you to dinner,â Jaemin blurts out, that it takes you back. You always pictured Jaemin asking someone out to dinner that it would be done with a certain cool, a specific type of charisma. In which it had none. Â
âJaemin,â Jeno says, now making his presence known. Â
You turn your attention to Jeno, whom you thought initially left with the rest of the team when the meeting ended. âJeno,â Jaemin says with a slight nod of his head. Â
âYou boys are talking to each other again?â you asked, as you look at the both of them. The last time either of them spoke to each other, not in front of a camera, was at the club.Â
âPlaying nice,â Jeno sighs. You crack a smile. Â
âOkay Jaemin, you can take me out to dinner,â you smile, as Jaemin releases a sigh of relief. Â
You walk away, heading into the garage to prepare your station for this weekend's activities. Just as your out of the meeting room, Jeno catches Jaeminâs arm, âdonât do anything stupid, yeah?â The extra day Jeno spent in the UK was intended to catch up with a few friends like he told you. However Taeyong had pulled Jeno into a lunch with Jaemin and him, forcing Jeno and Jaemin to work out whatever was going on between them. At that lunch, both Jeno and Jaemin concluded that what happened to you in Monaco was to never happen again. Â
âIâm taking her to dinner to make up for what happened in Monaco, Jeno,â Jaemin says, as he pulls Jenoâs hand off his arm. Jaemin enjoys messing around with people, and heâs just beginning to realize how much he can mess around with Jeno if he uses you. âI canât help it if she likes me more than you,â Jaemin smirks. Â
-
Jaemin meets you in the hotel lobby at 6, to take you to dinner. Heâs dressed in a simple pair of black slacks with a white button up, and a suit jacket. Itâs so simple, yet it looks like Jaemin, and he wears it well. Heâs much more attentive this time around. He opens all the doors for you, he pulls out your chair at this upscale restaurant that he chose. He listens to everything you have to say, he asks questions to keep you going. He doesnât flaunt his money to the waiter, or his title. You guys split the dessert, almost in a romantic fashion. Â
Just as you're leaving the restaurant, you feel a chill come on. You shiver, as Jaemin opens the door out for you. As soon as you step outside, Jaemin slips off his jacket, placing the item on your shoulders. Â
âThank you,â you say, as Jaemin smiles. Â
âThereâs an evening exhibit just a block away,â Jaemin offers. Â
âIâm not much of an art person,â you say as you looks at Jaemin
âNeither am I,â Jaemin stares at you, âI just donât want tonight to end.â Â
âOkay,â you say, as you and Jaemin walk down to the exhibit. Jaemin places a hand on the small of your back, he makes sure youâre on the inside of the sidewalk as the two of you walk the block. The two of you spend hours looking at the different art displayed. Neither of you knows what any of it means, or what the artist was trying to portray or what symbolism is being shown, but you stay nonetheless. Jaemin follows your lead, allowing you to pull him into any direction. He doesnât mind, he enjoys watching you pick apart the artwork to relate to something. Â
âItâs really beautiful,â you say as you stare at the portrait, the plaque says that it was a portrait of the artistâs muse, their significant other. Â
âIt is,â Jaemin agrees, as his eyes stay locked on you. Jaemin doesnât know what the painting looks like, or what the plaque says, but the art before his eyes is truly beautiful to him. Â
Neither you or Jaemin really want the night to end, so much so that the exhibit workers ask you and Jaemin to leave so they can go home for the night. You bash, not realizing you spent that much time there. Jaemin, thinks that if he slips the workers a few hundred, they will let you guys stay a bit longer, but before Jaemin can act on the idea, youâre walking out. Â
âWe need to let them go home,â you smile, offering your hand for Jaemin to take. Â
âBecause you said so,â Jaemin says, as he takes your hand. You spend at least another hour or two walking around just talking with Jaemin. Talking with Jaemin feels like floating in a calm sea, itâs light, easy, and can go on forever.Â
You try to delay the end of the night for as long as possible, Jaemin does the same. He walks you all the way up to your hotel room door. Itâs easily one in the morning by the time you make it back to the hotel. Â
âWhy donât you come in?â you ask Jaemin as you push open the door. Â
âThat would be improper,â Jaemin smirks, âmaybe after the second date.âÂ
âThis was a date?â you joke. Â
Jaemin chuckles at your joke, âI had a really nice night y/n,â Jaemin says seriously now. Â
âMe too, thank you.â Â
Jaemin comes in close, pressing his lips to your cheek, you feel a little disappointed that all you got was a kiss on the cheek. You guess your face exposes you, because Jaemin says, âdonât look so disappointed sweetheart,â with a certain smirk. Â
You blush, as you realize you got caught. âIâll see you tomorrow,â you say, trying to find words to fill in the gap, âgoodnight.âÂ
âGoodnight, sweetheart,â Jaemin says as he takes a step watching you close the door on him. After he hears the final click of the door shutting, Jaemin begins to walk away to go to his hotel room. Jaemin lets out a sigh, if it was anyone else, he would have taken up the offer to come inside. But you were different. Jaemin doesnât like second dates, or kisses on the cheek, or hand holding, or long walks in the park, or art exhibits. But Jaemin likes being around you. Â
He feels himself get giddy, thinking about the moment you offered your hand. He smiles, when he thinks about you staring at the portrait at the exhibit. He blushes when he recalls how you clung on his arm during the walk in the park. He laughs to himself, when he remembers you had a little something on the corner of your mouth when you guys shared dessert. He lays in his bed, with images of you playing in his mind. He dreams of you in his sleep, with a smile plastered on his face. Â
-
âHow was dinner?â Jeno asks as he goes through the car specs to prepare for practice. Â
The mention of last night's dinner has the blood rushing to your cheeks, âit was nice,â you smiled, staring at your tablet. Â
âHe didnât leave you right?â Jeno asks with a certain bite in his tone. Â
âJeno, we agreed to let it go already,â you scolded. Â
âI was just checking,â Jeno scoffs, as he goes back to looking over his car, âbetter not start cheering for him.âÂ
âNever, youâre still my favorite driver,â you say with a little nudge, that causes Jeno to smile. Â
-
While Jeno is putting in his practice laps, Jaemin makes his way over to you. âHey sweetheart,â Jaemin says, gaining your attention. You blush at the nickname he seems to love to call you. âI had fun last night,â Jaemin says. Â
âI did too,â you smile. Â
âLet me take you out again, Sunday after the race,â Jaemin asks. It comes to a bit of a surprise to himself that he did ask you out again, Jaemin isnât really sure about what he wants from you, or what he can give you. All he knows is that he enjoys being with you. Â
âOkay,â you answer, not able to contain your smile. Jaemin leaves you to prepare to put in his own practice laps. Just before heâs out of your sight, he sends a wink your way, that causes even more blood to rush to your cheeks. Â
ây/n,â Jenoâs voice cuts clear across the radio, thereâs a panic in his voice, something you donât pick up right away, âsomething feels off,âÂ
âWhat are you talkingâŠâ Just before you could finish your question, you watch as Jenoâs car spins out of control and into a barrier.Â
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guys, would you read my stuff if I posted it on wattpad???
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A Racer's Heart
Chapter 03
F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin
Preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05âŠ
Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers
Warnings: swearing, suggestive content, drugs, alcohol, angst, dangerous situation
Word Count: 3.1K+
Author's Note: I am not good at making sure I got all the warnings, so if you guys think I should include something please let me know. Also after this chapter most of the story revolves around their relationships rather than the sport, so it should pick up from here on out. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
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â16 turns, two DRS zones, I want you to make sure that no one is within a second of you on the straights, thatâs basically going to be likeâŠâÂ
âLike giving my position away,â Jeno cuts off your statement as you both walk into the garage. âI got this y/n, itâs not my first time racing in Barcelona.âÂ
âI know,â you conceid.Â
âItâs only practice today, Iâm gonna be okay,â Jeno spoke slowly and reassuringly. He knew. He canât say how he knows, but he knows that you become extra anxious when he is out on the circuit. He knows that you hold onto your breath whenever you watch him overtake someone. He knows you donât stop until heâs out of the car. He knows youâre waiting for him to come back at the end of every race. He knows it. Â
âI know,â you try to smile reassuringly. You donât know if youâre trying to reassure yourself or Jeno right now. But you try. Â
-
Barcelona goes by faster than you anticipate. You imagine that it goes by even faster for Jeno. You stand on the sidelines throughout the weekends, watching Jeno on the circuit, on his media duties, on his press conferences. You watch Jenoâs relationship with the team grow and grow. His mechanics are starting to get comfortable around him. The pit crew is talking more with him. Jeno was always a friendly person, he could never stand someone not liking him. Even his and Jaeminâs relationship has picked up. Â
Theyâre beginning to look like the best of friends nowadays. When you guys finally make it to Monaco, there isnât a moment where they are separated from each other. All their media duties are being done together. The marketing team loves the amount of free and openly available content they can use. The fans are loving it, you think you saw a ship post the other day on social media. And both of them are starting to do better during the races too. Â
P6 and P7 for Jeno and Jaemin, respectively, in Barcelona. Then P5 and P6, for Jaemin and Jeno, respectively, in Monaco. Â
-
You stood outside the media bullpen, watching the two of them conduct their post-race interviews in Monaco. âJaemin, this is the first race of the season that you out-qualified and outperformed your teammate, do you think itâs about time?âÂ
You held your breath waiting for Jaeminâs response, you could hear him chuckle a bit. âI mean, it feels great to get great results for the team and myself, but like I said in past races, my failure to perform at a high level early on in the season is my fault alone. And I think if I work hard at it, I will continue to have performances like I did this afternoon.â Â
âThank you Jaemin,â the reporter said. You let out your breath after hearing Jaeminâs response. You decided at that time maybe it was best to be on your way, gather your notes to present to Jeno about the race. Â
Just as you walked away, you heard someone call out to you. You turned back around to spot Jaemin waving you down. ây/n?â
âYes?â you took this moment to take all of Jaemin in. He was extremely handsome, his racesuit half off tied around his waist. The fireproofs were hugging his biceps perfectly, and the sweat dripping down the side of his face, gave him a sultry look. You found yourself licking your lips. Â
âMe and some of the team are going out to a nightclub tonight, join us?âÂ
âUm, I donât know Jaemin. Iâm not that familiar with the Monaco night scene.â Â
âCome on y/n, youâll be with me there wonât be anything to worry about,â Jaemin added, trying to convince you. âJeno also said he was gonna come out tonight.âÂ
You were taken aback slightly by the mention of Jeno. He usually always invites you out with him whenever heâs going out. You wondered why he didnât invite you tonight, writing it off as maybe he forgot or maybe he wasnât actually going to go out tonight. âI still have some work to do, I donât know what time Iâll finish.â Â
ây/n, we donât have to be in Azerbaijan until next week,â Jaemin tilted his head a bit to the right, his eyes piercing right through you, âIâll pick you up from the hotel at 8, be ready.â Â
Before you could protest anymore, Jaemin walked away. Not that you were really going to protest. Jaemin was infamous for getting anyone and everyone to agree with his agendas. You also thought that maybe you could use a night out, especially since everyone always talks about the Monaco night scene. And if anything Jeno might be there, so it wonât be so bad. Â
-
You travel from country to country, not in one place for too long that you donât really pack a lot of clothes. You probably had everything that was in your luggage sprawled out on your bed. Jaemin said he was gonna pick you up at 8, and you werenât ready to go until 7:59. You made sure to use up all your time in getting ready for tonight. Â
The car ride to the nightclub was short, Jaemin didnât speak much, or at all. He greeted you when you entered the car, but nothing more than that. When you guys arrived, Jaemin took your arm, as he walked you into the club. The small gesture causes a flurry of butterflies in your stomach. However that soon would disappear, when you lost Jaemin into the crowd. The first minute or 15 didnât bother you, as you knew Jaemin was popular, and there were probably a lot of people for him to greet. Â
It wasnât until you spent the greater part of an hour trying to figure out where Jaemin was, in a packed nightclub. You thought about getting a cab to take you back to your hotel, as you werenât that comfortable being out by yourself. Â
âWhatâs a pretty girl doing alone here?â someone had come up to ask you.Â
âOh,â you tried to laugh it off, âI'm here with a friend we just got separated from each other for a second.âÂ
âWell let's sit at the bar and try to find them.â the guy suggested with a smile, your gut told you to say no. To say that you could find Jaemin on your own, but your mind was telling you to calm down. Â
âOkay,â you said, as you let them lead you to the bar. Â
You found a singular seat at the bar. The guy said he didnât mind standing and letting you sit. He began to talk, asking what your friend looked like to help keep an eye out, for you. You gave Jaeminâs description, you didnât want to expose the fact that you were with a world renowned race car driver. Â
âLook, whoever your friend is, heâs an ass for leaving you alone like this,â the guy spoke frankly to you. You could tell he was attempting to make a move on you, but you left your guards up.Â
âHe really didnât mean to leave me alone, he just went to greet some people he knew and we got separated.â You came to Jaeminâs defense, making up false excuses for him. When quite frankly, he was being an ass. You told him you werenât familiar with the Monaco night scene, and he still insisted for you to come along. Just to leave you the second you got here. Â
While you continued to look around the club to hopefully see any familiar face, the guy that was standing by you at the bar continued to make small talk. In order to pass the time, and to appear not being rude, you entertained the conversation. The guy standing in front of you had to be over six feet tall, with a fair complexion, and piercing eyes. Most definitely European, he had dark hair, and his accent made him sound French. But everyone here speaks French. Â
He was actually being fairly respectful, he didnât invade your personal space without asking. He never touched you, and he kept his hands where you could see them. He also pretended to look for Jaemin in the crowd with you. He was being so nice, that you felt bad for keeping your guard up. Â
âWe still didnât find your friend, let me at least get you a drink,â he asked. Â
âOkay, a martini, dry,â you took a breath, âplease.âÂ
âYou got it.âÂ
You let him talk to the bartender while you continued to look into the crowd trying to find Jaemin. You wouldnât be so hell bent on finding Jaemin, but he was your ride, and you donât even know what club you are at tonight. Â
âHere is your drink,â the guy said, as he picked up his beer from the counter, and you turned around to pick up your martini. âIf your friend is as good as you say he is, iâm sure heâll come looking for you.âÂ
âHe better, heâs my ride back to the hotel.âÂ
âHotel? You donât live here?â You took a sip from your drink. Wrong move, never let a stranger know youâre just a tourist. âNeither do I, I was just here for the Grand Prix. Were you here for that too?âÂ
You calmed down, the alcohol in your drink loosening you up a bit, âyeah, I actually was.â Â
âAmazing race wasnât it? Do you have a favorite team or maybe driver?âÂ
âIt was a good race, my favorite driver is Lee,â you answered. Â
âAh yes, my favorite would have to be Pierre, gotta support the French.âÂ
âAnd what about Ocon?âÂ
âMaybe not all the French,â the guy joked and you laughed. The more the conversation went on, the more relaxed you felt. The guy in front of you was doing an excellent job of making you laugh, that you began to forget about Jaemin or even attempted to look for him. You stopped trying to look for anyone, instead just focusing on the guy in front of you. You were actually having trouble focusing on anything except the guy in front of you. Â
It must be the alcohol, you thought. It was too strong, you must be starting to become a lightweight. You couldâve sworn you could hold your liquor better than this. You decided that you were gonna go to the restroom, trying to splash some water on your face to sober up. You relayed your thoughts to the guy in front of you. Â
As soon as you got up from the bar stool, the room started to spin. âWoah, you okay there?â the guy in front of you asked. Â
âYeah, I just need to get my feet under me,â you slurred your words together. This most definitely wasnât just alcohol. Â
âLet me help you,â the guy suggested. You tried to push him off, but it felt like his grip was starting to tighten. You felt him start to push you, not being gentle with his movement. Â
When you first got to the club you made a note of where the restroom was, just as an old habit. In a moment of flight or fight, you found the strength to push him off. The guy released his grip, and you shoved your way through the crowd to the bathroom. As soon as you got inside, you found a stall and locked yourself inside. Â
You grabbed your phone out from your purse, your mind only drawing one conclusion. You needed to call Jeno. You wanted to just close your eyes while you let the phone ring. You could hear Jeno answer the phone, you began to mumble a few things, trying to tell Jeno what happened. You hope, and pray that he understands you enough. Â
-
âExcuse me, is there a y/n in here?â you heard what sounded like a young woman ask.Â
âHere,â you slurred, raising your hand to unlock the bathroom stall. Â
The girl offered a sad smile, âyour boyfriend Jeno is here to get you, heâs right outside.â Â
You nodded your head, as she helped you to your feet. When you made it out of the restroom, Jeno was right there, waiting for you. He was still dressed in his sweats, his hair was disheveled, he looked like someone that just got out of bed. Â
âThank you,â Jeno thanked the girl, taking you from her. Your mind was still a bit foggy, but you had enough sense of understanding what everyone around you was saying. Â
Jeno began to lead you out to the front, âdid I wake you? I didnât mean to wake you, Iâm sorry Jeno. I know I shouldnât have gone out tonight.â You were saying, more like mumbling and slurring, the first thoughts that came to your mind, not having enough strength to filter through them. âI promise no more going out, Iâll be a good girl from now on. I wonât cause you anymore trouble Jeno.â Â
Jeno didnât acknowledge your mumblings, thinking that you guys could talk about it in the morning when you were fully sober. He just wanted to get you back to the hotel already. He didnât want to be here much longer, and he especially didnât want the media to see either of you guys here, like this. Â
Before Jeno could make it out the front doors, from the shadows emerged Jaemin. âDude you made it,â Jaemin, who was clearly heavily intoxicated, caught Jenoâs other arm, not seeing Jeno holding you up on the other side initially. ây/n is supposedâŠâÂ
Jeno turned, stopping Jaemin from saying anything more. Â
âWhatâŠwhat happened?â Jaemin asked, as he looked at you, clearly out of it. The sight of you, causing any effects of the previously consumed alcohol to wear off.Â
âI donât know, you tell me Jaemin, youâre the one that was here not me.â Jeno was fuming, as he was beginning to have a vague understanding of what had happened.Â
âJen, IâŠâÂ
âShe called me crying and slurring her words, she could barely put two words together, let alone a complete sentence to tell me what she drank, or where she was, or who she was with.â There were stories about how scary Jeno was when heâs mad, but Jaemin always thought that was just people exaggerating to give Jeno a bad boy image. Jaemin knows now itâs not an exaggeration. âWhat did you give her, Jaemin?âÂ
âJeno, I swear I didnât do this to her.âÂ
âWell if you didnât do it, you let it happen.â
-
The next morning you woke up with the worst headache of your life. You were laying in your bed, in your hotel room, you looked over to see Jeno sleeping in one of the chairs with just a jacket covering his arms. You got out of bed, placing the blanket you were originally wrapped in on him, and heading to the shower. Last night was still a bit blurry in your mind, you remembered going to the club with Jaemin. You remembered meeting a stranger there, you remembered running to the bathroom. Â
You just donât remember anything after being in the bathroom. After you got out of the shower, brushed your teeth, and put on fresh clothes, you still saw Jeno sleeping peacefully on the chair in the corner. You decided to get some coffee and breakfast for Jeno when he woke up. You grabbed your phone and wallet before heading downstairs. Â
Looking at your phone, you notice several missed calls from Jaemin and even more unread text messages. Before you could respond to any of them, you ran into Jaemin in the elevator, heading downstairs. Â
âI was just coming to see you,â Jaemin said with an air of worry. Â
âWhy?â you question with a bit of an awkward smile. Â
âAre you okay? Last nightâŠâ before Jaemin could say anymore, your phone started to ring. Jenoâs name appears on the screen. Â
âSorry Jaemin, let me just answer this.â You slide the green button on your screen, answering your phone for Jeno. âHello,â you answered.Â
ây/n, where are you?â Jeno spoke quickly. Â
âIâm heading downstairs, I was gonna bring you a coffee and some breakfast.âÂ
âWhy didnât you wake me, I wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âYou looked tired, I wanted to let you sleep,â you answered. Jaemin is only able to hear your side of the conversation, slowly putting the pieces together in his own mind. Jaemin knows Jeno picked you up from the club, he knows Jeno brought you back to the hotel, and now he knows that you and Jeno slept in the same room last night. Â
âWait in the lobby for me, Iâll come downstairs and weâll go together.â Jeno said, before hanging up the phone. Â
You sighed, âIâm sorry Jaemin, what were you saying earlier now?â you turned your attention back to Jaemin. Â
âI just wanted to make sure you were okay from last night, Iâm sorry aboutâŠâÂ
âDo you remember what happened last night?âÂ
âHuh?â Jaemin looked at you confused, he only remembered what he did last night. He remembers leaving you alone last night, after telling you, you had nothing to worry about. He remembers Jeno staring holes through his head. He remembers seeing you leaving with Jeno. Â
âI mean,â you sighed, knowing that you should be able to remember, you just couldnât. âI know we went to the club together, I know I met a guy at the bar, I remember going to the restroom, but everything else is a blur. And even the parts I do remember are blurry.â Â
Just at that moment, both you and Jaemin arrived on the lobby floor. Jaemin let you step out of the elevator first. âWe did go to the club together, and I left you, alone.â Jaemin said. âIâm sorry y/n, I should have never left you alone that night. I told you that I would stay with you and I didnât, this is my fault.â Â
You nodded your head, âthank you for apologizing.â You thanked Jaemin, even though you werenât entirely sure why he was apologizing to you. Â
ây/n,â you turned to see Jeno stepping off the other elevator, walking towards you. You watched Jeno, give Jaemin the dirtiest look, before checking on you. âYou okay?âÂ
âYeah of course,â you answered.Â
âLetâs go get breakfast,â Jeno said, pulling you away. You waved a little âbyeâ to Jaemin, before walking away.Â
âThat was a bit rude,â you spoke candidly to Jeno, after the two of you stepped away from Jaemin.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âYou didnât greet Jaemin, that was a bit rude Jeno.âÂ
âDonât worry about it,â Jeno dismissed, as he dropped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you a little closer as the two of you walked out the lobby doors. You looked back to still see Jaemin standing there, watching the two of you go.
-----------------------
Taglist: @90sgatsby-jjh@neothingss@lanadreamie@cuteejeno
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A Racerâs Heart
Masterlist
F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin
Preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07...
Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers
Warnings: swearing, suggestive content, drugs, alcohol, angst, car crashes
Word Count: 3k per chapter
Synopsis: You have followed Jeno throughout the entirety of his career, since the very first moment he won his first race in F4. And you had planned to follow him until he stood at the top as world champion. However another race car driver with just as much determination might have a say otherwise. Jeno and his new teammate Jaemin has your heart torn in two.
âââââââââ
Taglist: @90sgatsby-jjh@neothingss@lanadreamie@cuteejeno@fariylixie0915@kikiisda1
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A Racer's Heart
F1Driver!Jeno x Reader x F1Driver!Jaemin
Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers
Word count: 3K+
Warnings: swearing
Authorâs Note: this is gonna take longer than I initially thought. sorry. nevertheless, hugs and kisses to anyone reading <33
-------------------------------
This week you were in Melbourne, preparing for the Australian Grand Prix. The marketing team had you doing the headphone challenge with Jeno. It was you and Jeno against Jaemin and his race engineer Mark.Â
âAustralian Grand Prix,â you yelled at Jeno, trying to get him to understand the words coming out of your mouth. Â
âWhat,â Jeno yelled back, the confusion written all over his face. Just behind him you could see Jaemin and Mark watching you guys, as they laughed. You shook your head, as the frustration started to cloud your mind.
âAustralian,â you yelled louder, but slower this time, âGrand Prix.âÂ
âAustralian Grand Prix,â Jeno finally repeated back to you, it only took about four tries. Jaemin and Mark laughed more, and you couldnât help but think Jaemin looked so cute right there. Jaemin has a beautiful smile that started to replace all the frustration. Â
âHome to,â you yelled again at Jeno. Jenoâs smile grew big, knowing that he understood your words this time. His eyes curved into little moons, you adored his smiles. You adored the little crescent moons that shone in his eyes. Â
âHome to,â Jeno repeated back to you.Â
âDaniel Riccardo.â That was the last part of the sentence.
âAustralian Grand Prix, Home to Daniel Riccardo,â Jeno shouted out with a little fist pump and jump, finally understanding the entire sentence. Â
You nodded your head vigorously at Jeno, knowing that he got it. Jeno being so happy that you guys got it, he ran up to you, picking you and twirling you around, in a giant hug. You couldnât help but laugh out loud, as Jeno spun around. Moments like this had you questioning Jenoâs intentions.Â
The challenge went on, with much more shouts and many more laughs. You couldâve sworn that you and Jeno had won, but the marketing team said that it was a tie. Â
âI think,â Jeno started off, after the marketing gave the results, âthat y/n, is the weak leak.âÂ
âExcuse me,â you questioned, as Mark and Jaemin giggled. Â
Jeno looked at you, âIâm just saying, I think me and Jaemin wouldâve done better than me and you.â
âYou wanna bet on that Lee? You and Jaemin, versus me and Mark.â You stuck out your hand to shake on a bet with Jeno, âloser buys the team dinner.âÂ
âYouâre on,â Jeno took your hand. Â
After getting the sentences you put on the headphones once more, shouting at each other again. Â
âI am,â Jeno shouted at Jaemin, as you and Mark watched. You couldnât help but laugh at Jeno getting frustrated that Jaemin wasnât understanding him. Â
âOhhhh, I am,â Jaemin responded back, now getting what Jeno was saying.Â
âI am a Formula 1,â Jeno shouted again, as Jaemin scratched his head. âI am a Formula 1,âÂ
âOhhhh, I am a formula 1,â Jaemin said, with wide eyes. He looked so adorable repeating Jenoâs words.Â
âRace car driver,âÂ
âOh oh oh, I am a Formula 1 race car driver,â Jaemin did little jumps when he fully got the sentences. Â
Finally it was yours and Markâs turn, and just like Jeno he predicted you guys did worse. You were shaking your head as Jeno and Jaemin were rubbing it in, at the end. The marketing was more than happy with the extra content they could use. Â
âLooks like tonightâs dinner is on you, y/n,â Jeno boasted joyfully. âI think I want to eat fried chicken tonight. Jaemin?âÂ
âFried chicken sounds great, and also donât forget to get sodas as well,â Jaemin said, as the two of them laughed. Â
âAny more requests from the two of you?â You asked sarcastically. Â
âOh yesâŠâ Jeno started off, trying to add more, before you cut him off.Â
âOh shut up,â you said, as Jaemin and Jeno both laughed. Â
-
During free practice two, Jeno was out on the track, with a rookie race engineer. It was best to let new race engineers get some experience during free practices, instead of them just expecting them to navigate during a race. To ensure nothing went astray, you remained next to the new guy, watching the same monitors, and hearing the same radios. Â
âY/n,â Jaemin called out, coming up behind you. It wasnât impossible for Jaemin to be on this side of the garage, just very rare and odd. Â
Jeno had told you to play nicely, so you answered politely, âyes?âÂ
âHere,â Jaemin said as he handed you a couple hundred dollars, âfor tonightâs dinner, me and Jeno make a lot more than you or Mark.â Â
âOh Jaemin, you donât have toâŠâÂ
âItâs fine, I have more money than I know what to do with right now,â Jaemin said, placing the money on the table in front of you. âDonât forget the sodas, I want a sprite,â Jaemin added with a wink, as he walked away. Â
You thought that maybe your initial opinions about Jaemin were made prematurely, as you stared at the money in front of you. Jaemin didnât need to do that, it was a bet between you and Jeno. Jaemin knows that even though you donât make nearly as much money as him, you make more than enough money to spend on dinner for everyone. Jaemin knows that $200 isnât enough to cover everyone, but itâs a little something to help out. And that night when you announced that you got everyone dinner, the entire team was overjoyed. Â
-
âLights out and away they go,âÂ
You watched the monitor closely. As the boys went around and around. No one was catching Leclerc, but the midfield was interesting to say the least. Â
By lap 32, Jaemin was right behind Jeno. You and Mark exchanged a look, in the meetings it was said that they would be free to race, should this happen. Â
âLet them race, weâre early into the season,â Taeyong said as he watched the monitors. Â
âJen,â you came over the radio, âJaemin behind by 1.2 seconds. Youâre free to race.â Â
âCopy,â Jeno confirmed. Â
In Formula 1, there are 10 teams, each team runs two cars. Everyone, except your teammate, has a different machinery. So for every driver, the person they want to beat the most is their teammate, because that is purely on race ability. You cannot say that it was the car. Â
You felt your nerves pick up as Jeno and Jaemin exchanged positions several times. Going wheel to wheel into one too many turns for your comfort. For you the checkered flag couldnât come face enough. Â
When it finally did, Jeno was just ahead of Jaemin, by exactly one second. Â
You took a breath, âP6 Jen, P6.âÂ
âThank you, thank you,â you could hear Jeno breathing heavily, âtell Jaemin that it was a fun race.â Â
âWill do,â you said. âJen, Jaemin said that he had a good time racing you.â Â
You could hear Jenoâs chuckle on the other side of the radio. Â
-
You felt like the bye week wasnât long enough, because before you knew it, you were in Imola, preparing for another race weekend. When you got down to the paddock for strategy meetings on Thursday, the majority of the team had already arrived. Strategy meetings always filled your day, if there wasnât a strategy meeting, that meant Jeno was on the circuit. Â
âI think Jaemin should be given priority this weekend,â someone said, you didnât recognize the person, or at least you couldnât recall their name. They had to be someone from Jaeminâs side of the garage nonetheless. Â
âNo driver is being given a priority over the other, weâre letting them race.â Taeyong confirmed once again, and you took a sigh of relief. You knew Jeno wasnât given priority in the past weekends, neither of the drivers were being given priority. That was Taeyongâs entire pitch to Jeno when recruiting him for NCT. That there wasnât gonna be a number 1 driver, they were just gonna race. Â
After the meeting concluded you went about setting up your place in the garage. Although the crew always sets up the garage the same every weekend, it always feels just a bit off. You went through the several monitors, ensuring that the settings were to your liking. When a few of the people from Jaeminâs side of the garage came over. Â
âY/n,â you turned to look at them, âwe were thinking that Jaemin should be given priority this weekend instead of Jeno.âÂ
âExcuse me?â You questioned, unsure about their request.Â
âJaemin hasnât been doing well, and so Jeno should concede, donât you agree?âÂ
âLook guys,â you took a breath, âthe race strategy isnât decided by me, I just follow team orders. What Taeyong says goes.âÂ
âGuys,â another voice, from behind cut across interrupting your conversation with the mechanics, âleave y/n alone,â it was Jaemin. âJeno out-performing me has nothing to do with her.âÂ
However, that wasnât the end of the conversation. Constantly throughout the day, and the entire weekend, a multitude of people had suggested to you that Jeno should ânot try so hardâ this weekend. And when you tried to gauge if Jeno was getting these same suggestions directly, you realized he hadnât been. The crew had only been coming to you about Jeno not trying so hard this weekend. Â
âIâm sorry about that y/n,â Jaemin apologized just before he went out for qualifying, âyou donât need to listen to them.â Before you could respond that you werenât gonna listen to them, Jaemin had already returned to his side of the garage. He was being so nice about the situation, that you were starting to consider, telling Jeno not to try so hard, this weekend. Especially when it wasnât pretty when Jeno out-qualified Jaemin, again. Â
âP6 Jen, good lap,â you said through the radio. Â
âSorry, I thought I did better,â Jeno said with a heavy breath.Â
âYou did good Jen, Iâll see you inside,â you said, before taking off your headset. Â
You felt eyes on you, from some of the mechanics. You made quick work of gathering your notes, and leaving the area. You didnât feel as welcome as before. Â
-
You watched as the checkered flag waved at Imola, âP8 Jen, P8,â you announced over the speaker. Â
âThank you, it was a good race guys, thank you,â Jeno said over the radio. You knew him well enough, that was a generic response. He was far from being happy with those results. âY/n, where did Jaemin finish?âÂ
âP12⊠Iâll see you inside Jen.âÂ
You took off the headset, knowing that todayâs results were nowhere, as good as previous weeks. âYou couldnât just help Jaemin out huh?â Someone from behind you had asked. Â
You turned to see a few of the mechanics from Jaeminâs side of the garage, âItâs not my decision,â you repeated once more, just like you did all weekend. âAnd Jaemin wasnât behind Jeno, there was nothing I couldâve done about the race, guysâÂ
You watched the mechanics shake their heads at you and murmur a few things before walking away. You couldnât understand what they were expecting from you. If it was up to you, Jaemin and Jeno would be at the top of every podium, at the end of every race. You didnât know if the mechanics were genuinely upset that Jeno was continuing to outperform Jaemin, or if they were just giving you a hard time because you could be considered the ânew guy.â
The following race didnât help either. Â
-
The Miami Grand Prix, being a debut Grand Prix, had much more media attention than a normal Grand Prix. The star studded audience also brought out extra cameras for the weekend. Jeno and Jaemin did an excellent job entertaining. They did their media duties, their interviews, and more. They signed autographs and took pictures, to anyone on the outside, looking in, Jeno and Jaemin appeared to be getting along great. And they were, Jeno and Jaemin were building a nice friendship together. Â
However the same couldnât be said around the garage. Each car, each driver, has their own set of engineers and mechanics. And Jaeminâs side of the garage, were not exactly thrilled that Jeno was constantly outperforming Jaemin. Although, it seemed like no one was willing to speak to Jeno about it, just speaking to you. Or at least they were. Â
Initially, they were just suggesting that Jeno donât try so hard, but now itâs changed to little whispers when you walk past. Or small glances, when Jeno set a faster time in practice. You did your best to not let it bother you, but it was getting to you. Â
âP5 Jen, nice job,â you said, as Jeno just went fifth fastest in his last qualifying lap for the day.Â
âThank you, thank you,â Jeno said, as he began his cool down lap. âY/n, thank you.âÂ
-
âLights out and away we goâÂ
You paid close attention to the screen watching everyone get away from the line. Both Jeno and Jaemin got away from turn 1 clean, as they went into turn 2. As the field stretched out moving into turn 3 and to turn 4, there were several cars in between Jeno and Jaemin. Â
They both made it through turn 8, heading into sector 2. You counted the turns as Jeno drove through them. Turn 9, turn 10, long straight, turn 11, 12, 13, chicane, 14, 15, 16, another long straight. You watched Jeno make clean overtakes, as well as Jaemin. Â
Going into lap 31, both Jeno and Jaemin were up and in the points. You had to begin preparing to call Jeno in for a pit stop, to change tires.Â
âAsk how he feels on the tires, y/n,â Taeyong directed to you. Â
âJen, how's the tires?âÂ
âTheyâre fine, I can push.âÂ
âPush Jen,â you said into the radio. Â
You watched out into the pit lane, as the team brought Jaemin in to change onto the soft tires first. A little early, but Jaemin was always a better defender rather than an over taker. Â
Lap 40, you watched as Jeno crossed the start line, starting his 40th lap out of 54. You were back to counting turns, waiting for the moment to tell Jeno to box. Sector 1, turn 1, 2, 3, small straight, turn 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Moving into sector 2, turn 9, 10, long straight. Jeno was behind Bottas, with DRS, going for the overtake. He was already ahead before reaching turn 11, you could hear the cheers of the team behind you. Turn 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, long straight. Â
âBox Jen, Box,â you said early enough for Jeno to make the move into the pit lane. Â
âCopy,â Jeno confirmed as he drove towards the pit lane entry. Â
Formula 1 teams usually have a pit crew of around 15 people. All four tires get changed at the same time, and thereâs just one big nut, instead of 5 small ones. Meaning that pit stops are normally 2 to 3 seconds, when done correctly. And no matter how fast the pit crew moved, the driver always said it was too slow. No matter how fast the tires came out, or how fast the car was jacked up, or how fast the tires changed, or how fast the car dropped again, it was too slow. But for drivers, who are used to reaching 200+ miles per hour, everything was slow for them. Â
â2.02,â a member from the pit crew, yelled announcing the time to everyone. You and the rest of the team cheered, that was a good pit stop. Â
-
Lap 54, the checkered flag already waving as Verstappen crossed the finish line. Leclerc was behind him, and then Sainz rounded out the podium finishers. Â
You watched Jeno race towards the line, âP6 Jen, P6,â you yelled into the radio. Â
Jeno laughed into the radio, âthank you team, thank you.â You took a breath, the race was over. You watched Jaemin cross the line P8, a nice finish, compared to last weekend's results for himself. âY/n, thank you,â Jeno added on. Â
âIâll see you inside Jen.â As you left your spot to go check on other things, you could hear faint whispers made as you walked passed. You could feel the eyes of others, watching you walk past. You constantly reminded yourself that you did what you were supposed to. You followed team orders, you did what Taeyong wanted to be done. You were just doing your job, and if anyone has a problem with it, itâs their own problem. Not yours.Â
-
âTaeyong, may I speak to you please?â you made sure that almost everyone went home before speaking with Taeyong, âprivately please.âÂ
âSure,â Taeyong answered, as he led you into his office. After shutting the door, he turned back to face you, âwhat do you want to talk about?âÂ
âSome of the guys,â you took a breath, you really donât want to cause any problems within the team, âtheyâve just been suggesting to me recently that Jeno shouldnât be trying so hard to outperform Jaemin.âÂ
âWhat?â Taeyong asked, his face filled with confusion, âwho has been suggesting this y/n? Iâll call a meeting-âÂ
âNo, no,â you quickly stopped Taeyong, âIâm sure theyâre just giving me a hard time for being the ânew guyâ, I just want to know what I should tell them. I donât want to cause any problems Taeyong, I can handle this, I just want to know what I should say when they suggest this?âÂ
Taeyong looked at you, not fully convinced. âAre you sure you can handle this?âÂ
âOf course, I just wanted to know what I should tell them.â Part of you regrets bringing this up at all, knowing that itâs probably nothing serious. Â
âJust tell them itâs team orders, and that if they have any issues with that, they can bring it to me.âÂ
âOkay, thank you Taeyong.â Â
You walked out of Taeyongâs office, not feeling any better than you did before. Part of you believes that youâre just making up whatâs going on. That youâre exaggerating a few moments into problems that donât actually exist. The other part of you knows that you are being given a hard time because youâre a woman in a male dominated field.
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taglist: @90sgatsby-jjh@neothingss@lanadreamie
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[20:35] âI canât,â you said in a shaky voice, tears rolling down your cheeks. You took the knife to your own heart, twisting it further. âI want to, but I canât do this anymore,â you whispered, you had never felt so ashamed of yourself before tonight.
âIâll quit and youâll never have to do this anymore,â Taeyong said, standing on the opposite side of the hotel room, facing you. As tears rolled down his own cheeks.
You shook your head, âno, this is your dream.â You looked away, not being able to handle seeing Taeyong in so much pain like this.
âY/n, please, youâre more important to me than the boys t-âŠâ
âStop,â you cut Taeyong off. If you let him say anymore, you wouldnât leave tonight. âDonât, donât say that, you know itâs not true.â You pulled off the necklace Taeyong had gifted you for your one year anniversary, âIâm sorry.â You dropped the necklace into Taeyongâs palm before walking out of the hotel room, bag in hand.
You hated that you werenât strong enough to endure this. When Taeyong invited you on tour with him, you thought it would be great. It would be an amazing way to spend time together. You had racked up enough vacation days to be gone for a whole month. However after the first week of being on tour, you realized this wasnât gonna be as great as you thought.
Nevertheless you pushed on. You went to all his concerts, you seen amazing sites, you ate amazing food. Then there was the pictures, the rumors, the online abuse, the mental toll. A saesang had found out what floor Taeyong was staying on, and took a picture of the two of you returning to the room. From there the amount of hate you got online was overbearing, and then anytime you went to an NCT event, you got more hate.
The final straw was when you were staying in the hotel room alone, because you didnât want to go out anymore, and a saesang broke into the room. You finally had it, you were done. You couldnât handle it anymore and you hated yourself even more for not being able to handle it. You hated that Taeyong was willing to give it all up for you, but you couldn't handle it long enough for him.
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Sure, you're scared, I've been there. I can set you free!
Jaehyun X Reader
Genre: toxic relationship
Warnings: Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior, gaslighting
Word Count: 800+
Author's Note: this one is way shorter than I wanted it to be, because I didn't know what to do anymore. sorry guys, but I hope you enjoy even though it's short. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3
Also if you ever find yourself in this situation or in a similar situation, I highly encourage you to seek help.
--------------------------
âJae you promised you would go with me,â you whined at Jaehyun, as he sat on the couch not bothering to get ready.Â
âBaby, I didnât say that,â Jaehyun swore that he never made any promise to go with you. Â
âYes you did,â you were beginning to get more frustrated, you already knew you were gonna be late. âGet ready please so we can go.âÂ
âI canât, I already told the boys they could come over and watch the game, it starts in an hour,â Jaehyun argued back.Â
âI really need you at this event with me,â your eyes began to water, at how frustrated you were getting. âYou promised,â you whispered out.Â
âY/n, I wouldnât promise you anything for tonight, because I knew the game was on,â Jaehyun argued, getting frustrated with you as well.
âI swear you told me you would go with me, I told you about this event weeks ago,â you looked toward the ceiling not wanting to ruin your makeup that you spent a great deal of time on.Â
âMustâve been your other boyfriend,â Jaehyun said with a shake of his head.
âJaehyun thatâs not funny right now,â you snapped, âjust tell the boys that they canât come over and come with me, please.âÂ
âNo,â Jaehyun snapped back at you, âwhy is it I always have to cancel my plans to accommodate you, why canât you cancel your plans for me?âÂ
âI have, on many occasions,â you argued, recalling the multiple times you canceled lunches, dinner parties, birthday events, social gathering because of Jaehyun.Â
âI donât recall a single time when you canceled any of your plans to be with me,â Jaehyun said with a little taunt.Â
âJaehyun I have constantly put you above everyone else, I am asking you to do the same for me this one time,âÂ
âYouâre always making me go with you to things, like-â
âLike when? When have I ever made you come to an event when you didnât want to besides right now?âÂ
âMattâs birthday party,â Jaehyun offered an example.Â
âI said I would go to Mattâs party alone, that you didnât need to come,âÂ
âNo, you said âcome with me to Mattâs birthday party, Jaeââ Jaehyun mocked your voice and actions.Â
âThatâs true,â you shook your head, as you could vividly recall that evening. That evening when you told Jaehyun that he didnât need to come, that you were just gonna say âhappy birthday,â drop off a gift and come home. Jaehyun insisted on coming with you, he insisted on staying for one drink, he was the one that said he was having a good time, stay a little longer.Â
âIt is true, you never gave me an option that night,â Jaehyun argued.Â
âThatâs not true,â you said softer this time, trying to hold onto your memory.Â
âBaby,â Jaehyun came up in front of you kneeling to be eye level with you, âhave you been taking your medicine?â You were on anti-anxiety medication. Â
âOf course I am,â you made sure you never missed a day. Your medication was the on thing that got you through the day. Which you always thought was odd because you never had anxiety growing up, itâs only been these past few years that itâs gotten bad.Â
âAre you sure baby?â Jaehyun asked sweetly, as he went over towards the kitchen counter to look at your pill box. âAll the days are still filled,â Jaehyun said examine the box.Â
âThatâs not true,â you said firmly, in your belief that you took your medication this morning. You made your way towards Jaehyun, grabbing the box from his hand, seeing all the days that you were supposed to take your medication still filled. âThatâs not right,â yo said softly, âI swear Iâve been taking them.âÂ
âBaby you need to try to be on top of these, you know what can happen when you donât take your meds,â Jaehyun said in a soft scolding manner.Â
âI know, thatâs why Iâm sure Iâve been taking them,â you said, clearly devastated, âI thought I was taking them.âÂ
âI donât think you should be going to your event tonight,â Jaehyun said, as he opened a box for you, and got a glass of water.Â
âBut itâs a work event, I canât miss it,â you said, taking the glass and pill from Jaehyun. Â
âYour health is more important than your work right now babe,â Jaehyun said, taking the glass from you, before writing on a post-it that you took our medication today. âIâm sure your job will understand, we donât even know how long you havenât been taking your meds.âÂ
âOkay,â you felt like pieces of your world were missing. You didnât even know if you could trust your own mind anymore. You couldnât tell the difference between what happened and what didnât anymore. You felt yourself slowly going insane tonight.Â
âI know youâre scared, baby,â Jaehyun said with that smile, and those eyes. Those comforting eyes. âIâve been there before, I can help you,â Jaehyun reassured you once again. And those eyes, those comforting eyes. They put your heart at ease. They stopped your mind from racing. Those eyes, they were telling you âit's gonna be okay.â
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Can we not fight anymoreâ Please, can we not fight anymoreâ
Meant to be Series
Jisung X Reader
Genre: toxic relationship
Warnings: abusive behavior, language, suggestive themes (one moment), toxic behavior
Word Count: 1K+
Authors Note: this one is fairly short, sorry. Also I want to repeat that in no way am I trying to encourage this behavior. If you have a partner that acts in the ways displayed in these stories, I encourage you to see help. Thank you, hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3
âââââââââââââââââââââ
âJisung youâre not listening to me,â you say frustrated with your boyfriend.
âI am listening but I donât understand whatâs the problem,â Jisung sighed, throwing his hands in the air.
âThe problem is that you donât do anything around the apartment, that youâre always out with the boys, you make no time for me, you have multiple other girls texting you all through the night and you donât even consider how I might feel about those things.â You say pointing out every problem you had.
âI already told you it was just Markâs birthday, thatâs why I was out with the boys. All these girls in my phone,â Jisung said, as he put air quotes around âgirls in my phone,â âtheyâre just the staff.â
âDonât try to make me feel like theyâre no big deal Jisung,â
âBut theyâre not a big deal y/n, thatâs my problem, youâre always trying to pick a fight,â Jisung says with a shake of his head in a dismissive manner.
âIâm not,â you whine out. Jisung always had this habit of making your feelings insignificant, like you were just being over dramatic, you try to reel in your tone, âJisung I just need you to understand how these situations make me feel.â
âInsecure,â Jisung offers. It only took one word from him to stab you where you hurt most. âNot good enough?â
âExactly,â you muster up whatever courage you have left to admit thatâs how you felt, âI donât know why you must always make me feel this way Jisung.â
âI donât make youâŠâ Jisung tries to rebut before you cut him off.
âYes,â you shout louder than you should have, âyes you do, because every time I tell you I donât like something, you dismiss my feelings. You say you donât want to argue that you donât want to fight anymore.â
âBecause youâre being irrational,â Jisung says running his hand through his hair, he ended up going to the refrigerator and grabbing himself a beer. Just the sight of the can in his hand, has you sighing.
Whenever Jisung didnât want to fight, and you wouldnât drop the issue, he would drink. Because a drunk Jisung, was a sweet talking Jisung, he said whatever you wanted to hear, and the net morning he wouldnât remember because he was drunk.
Jisung cracks open his can, almost chugging the first can completely, âItâs not irrational of me to not want several different girls texting you at one in the morning, when Iâm sleeping next to you.â
âIt is irrational of you when you know thereâs nothing going on between me and those girls, and that they are only the staff members.â Jisung aurges, as he dumps his first can, before opening the second one.
âIâm gonna spend the night at Jihyoâs place,â you say, no longer wanting to be in the same room as Jisung
âWhat? Why?â
âBecause,â you talked as you moved through the apartment, packing an overnight bag, âI donât want to argue with a drunk.â
âIâm not drunk,â Jisung argues more.
âYou will be in a minute, Iâll see you in the morning,â You say before walking out the door.
âI love you,â Jisung says just before you shut the door. You pause, not closing the door just yet. Jisung knows you enough to know, you would feel guilty if you donât say it back regardless of how mad you are. Jisung says it to remind you that even when the two of you are fighting, he still loves you.
In a way, he uses those three words as a weapon. âI love you too,â you say, just loud enough for him to hear, before shutting the door.
-
The next morning when you finally returned home, Jisung was found asleep on the couch, still in his clothes from last night. He mustâve drank so much that he passed out before taking a shower. You looked around the apartment, at least he had the decency to throw away the empty beer cans before getting a new one.
However when you turned the corner, you realized he didnât have the decency to wash the dishes he made, or wipe the counter when he spilt food, or to the throw the left over food in the trash before putting the dish in the sink.
âGet up,â you spoke loudly, hitting Jisung to get him up, âcanât you clean up after yourself.â
âBabe,â Jisung groaned rubbing the sleep from his eyes, âwhat time is it?â
âFuck Jisung, this is what Iâm talking about too,â you sigh.
âItâs only 8 am, babe itâs too early to be arguing,â Jisung says with a stretch.
âGo shower Ji, you stink,â you sigh, knowing you have to clean up his mess.
Jisung nodded, âleave the dishes, Iâm gonna wash it baby, I promise.â
âJi, whatâŠâ
âJust leave it babe, Iâll clean it up,â Jisung says, as he stands right in front of you. He easily towers over when you guys are this close. âCan we just not fight anymore,â Jisung says with a lazy smirk painting its way across his face.
Something about early morning promises and lazy smirks that have you not wanting to fight either, âokay.â
âWhy donât you join me in the shower?â Jisung says with a little less lazy smirk.
âMaybe in a minute, let me up away my stuff,â
âOkay,â Jisung agrees, walking away towards the shower.
Just at this time you look over to the coffee table. Jisung's phone lay there, as a new text message appeared on the screen. You picked it up, not with the intention of snooping, but just to give it to Jisung. Then did you see exactly who the text was from. It was from one of those stylist girls that work with Jisung. Her messages read, âsorry I fell asleep.â He was texting her last night, you thought to yourself, trying to put together a timeline. Another text came in, âshe sounds insecure.â
It was at that moment, that you finally had the thought, maybe you werenât in a healthy relationship.
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Can be taglisted for âA Racerâs Heartâ? đ„č
OF COURSE BABES
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Omggg since MDAP is recently brought up i just wanna let u know that i loved that story so much and I think itâs one of the best royalty Jeno au out there đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
AWHHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU đđđ
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hi, i just started reading My Duty As Princess and i was wondering if it takes place in the 21st century? :)
Omg this is such an old ask already, I really need to start keeping up with my inbox again. đ
But technically it is in the 21st century, think like if a monarchies continued to be the majority form of government
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OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR F1 AU!!! Iâve also been a fan ever since they released drive to survive đđ i cant wait đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
YAYAYAYAY I want you guys to love this series like you have my others, but I do think its kind of niche. Nevertheless I canât wait for you guys to read it through
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