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i fucking h8 myself rn i feel disgusting why cant i just be skinny

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i was doing great for a few days and now im back to not eating for days

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what i ate today

i fasted for like 18 hours

i had a proteinbar (167cals) it had 22grams of protein! it was also really good and sweet

for dinner i had an apple w some cinnamon and a boiled egg

and i also chewed some gum

overall 395 cals and i burned some by walking (6,6k steps)

im so tired rn and its only 10pm

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ive been studying so much its so exhausting

every day i study before i go to sleep and wake up at around 5am just to finish more homework

at least it keeps me busy

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today was pretty bad

for breakfast i had strawberries and for lunch i had mushrooms with smoked salmon, a bell pepper and a brown ricecake then for a snack i had some more strawberries

then for dinner my dad made mushroom soup (not the creamy type!) and i had way more than i should have. luckily these types of soups arent that high cal but i cant know for sure how many calories were in that .

anyway i ate like 660 cals and burned around 190

prolly gonna limit myself to 450 tommorow bc i feel extremly guilty rn

also ive been kinda sad these days and i just keep thinking of a past relationship of mine idk how to make it go away , we havent even talked in like 5 months its time to move on

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sometimes i feel real silly for posting when literally no one sees my posts

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i have these jeans that used to be my moms when she was my age, theyre low rise and pretty uncomfortable, they barely fit me :( i feel horrible

hopefully theyll fit me by the end of november

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im fasting rn im so tired of binging and fasting again and again

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i havent been posting bc things arent going great :( i binged then fasted then binged for the past days

i also purged a few times

i truly hate myself rn

i like this guy in my school but im so fat idk what to do at this point

i have to lose weight by the end of 2022 i need to be better

im so disgusting

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my net for today is 876, i overate a little but also had a lot of protein

im feeling so tired rn and also guilty i think ill go to sleep soon

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what i ate today !

breakfast : a latte from a french café ! 125 cals

lunch - dinner : chicken breast, mushrooms and cucumbers - 416 cals

strawberry jogobella yogurt - 113 cals

chewing gum - 27 cals

green tea - 4 cals

and i burned 238 cals

net ; 445 ( 683 - 238 )

today was alright, im gonna weigh myself every monday and see how fast i lose weight :)

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this is the beginning of my new blog about my weightloss !

i’m 60 kgs rn and i’ll be updating and posting about my days :)

i don’t encourage counting / restricting calories, this is just my space, please don’t report me!