local-cryptid-boi

[local-cryptid-boi]

"All my blood flows around my uterus."

~E

[local-cryptid-boi]

*fresh out the shower*

“I have head-cannons about Polnareff that I have to explain to share.”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“On a lighter note my heartbeat is making my tiddy wiggle”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“Fucking hate harry potter invading my perfectly good trollhunters fanfic 😡mad”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

*Mark blankly staring*

Me: “Mark you ok?”

Mark: *blankly staring at me* “…whwah?”

Me: “I said, you ok?”

Mark: “I wish my ribs would behave.”

[local-cryptid-boi]

Someone waking you up from a long nap is like the opening cutscene of Skyrim.

Me *groggy as shit*: Wuh?

My roommate Mark: Want to go get dinner?

[local-cryptid-boi]

“What does the kitty say?”

*aggressive hissing and growling sounds*

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“Oh I should I tell you about flipper boy!”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“This is the only place I’ve ever seen an adult order the chocolate milk.”

- “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“Am amb anim amin eb abinol aminal!!”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“Two! ..I know how to count to two! :)”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

My professor: “What language do they speak in England?”

*class silence*

My professor *making Direct eye contact*: “Fiiin?”

Me: “English..?”

[local-cryptid-boi]

*talking about a Canada trip*

“-also the one where I met a bear… that’s a misleading statement, I’ve met bears several time.”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

*voice rapidly rising in pitch*

“Hickeys so bad you gotta put ice on ‘em?!!”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

“I face planted into a aluminum folding stool and broke my nose because of how excited I was for experimental muffins, I was five at the time!”

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

*Increasingly aggressive unicorn from “Charlie the unicorn” impression*

~ “Grandpa” Mark

[local-cryptid-boi]

My roommate Mark after exiting his room in his pajamas for the second time after saying he was going to bed.

“One more headcannon then bed.”