localbakerfrog

[localbakerfrog]

sorry guys. have to reconstruct my personality around The Character. hope you understand. *my bones crack and twist in unnatural ways and my rips splay open like the hood of a cobra while my whole body makes odd squelching sounds*

[localbakerfrog]

GO TO YOUR FAVORITE SEARCH ENGINE AND TYPE "PUPPIES" AND GO TO THE IMAGES TAB TRUST ME!!!

[localbakerfrog]

just saying i prefer my food-based crimes to be more "heisting $1 million worth of syrup from the Canadian Maple Syrup Reserve" and less "corporations giving toddlers listeria for fun and profit"

[localbakerfrog]

[localbakerfrog]

so, they didn’t want players killing kids in the new lego star wars, so they made them immune to friendly fire damage, but they didn’t make them invincible, so now speedrunners are doing extended air combos on them to cross large gaps and climb tall structures. this has been dubbed Child Flight

[localbakerfrog]

YA!

[localbakerfrog]

[localbakerfrog]

First time visiting my friend’s dorm room (who’s also a snake)(I forgot)

[localbakerfrog]

Unfortunately 40 days of not scrolling did not fix me in any way that matters

[localbakerfrog]

WHEEL YOURSELF A DRAGON!

First take this classic dragon shape

Second, take this wheel and spin it 5, 7, or 10 times to modify the dragon!

Lastly, bask in your wonderful new child I ended up with a basilisk looking creature after spinning 7 times

[localbakerfrog]

this is a better endorsement for sunscreen than any commercial or tiktok

[localbakerfrog]

Put THIS in your pipe and smoke it! [blows you a tender, gentle kiss]

[localbakerfrog]

elvis who is your best friend

Woah mama you're all my best friends 6:)

[localbakerfrog]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[localbakerfrog]

Enjoying hot springs

(via)

[localbakerfrog]

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

[localbakerfrog]

I really like characters that are like.. estrogen probably could've saved them but just not from this specific situation unfortunately.