localcryptidsteg

[localcryptidsteg]

did they really clone direworlves?

Recently a company called "Colossal Biosciences" claimed to have resurrected the extinct "Dire Wolf." After every reputable geneticist and preservation company on Earth explained that they were full of shit, they admitted that they had in fact resurrected something far more profitable: The Fiji Mermaid Scam.

In the 1840s, P.T. Barnum displayed a mermaid that he claimed had been caught by fishermen near Fiji. It was in fact a fraud prop made by sewing half a dead fish to half a dead monkey, and was likely not even sewn together in Fiji. Still, people paid to see the grotesque fake, making Barnum's circus sideshow nearly $100, or adjusted for inflation, $960,000,000,000,000,000,000.34.

Though Colossal Biosciences committed a far more advanced lie involving some degree of genetic manipulation and stocks instead of tickets, they were able to make a great deal more than their founder ever got from his early patron, Jeffrey Epstein (guess which part of this post isn't unreality).

Thankfully, nothing can go wrong from this venture as far as anyone can guess, there being no books or movie franchises based on the dangers of fraudulently manipulating genetics to sell hopes of seeing extinct creatures returning to life. The first such film will be about Colossal Biosciences and is coming out next year, Scarlett Johansson has already been cast as the wolf.

[localcryptidsteg]

my take on Colossal Biosciences' stupid stunt.

[localcryptidsteg]

To anyone who follows me, I don't care about nor trust Colossal Biosciences anymore (The people behind the "Wooly Mice"). They have proven themselves to be headline-chasing grifters after this latest stunt. They are claiming to have de-extincted *Aenocyon dirus*, aka the Dire Wolf, by editing just 20 genes from the the DNA of a Grey Wolf (*Canis lupus*) to make this thing:

If it wasn't clear from their scientific names, Grey Wolves and Dire Wolves aren't remotely related to one another aside from being Canids, despite what pop culture like Game of Thrones would have you believe. If they did look like each other, it would have had to be via convergent evolution, as they only shared a common ancestor over 5 million years ago.

This distinction, however, isn't found in the publicized articles about this so-called resurrected Dire Wolf and makes their claim that they brought the Dire Wolf back by simply editing *20* genes from the genome of a Grey Wolf laughable. A Dire Wolf would have shared more in common genetically with a Maned Wolf (*Chrysocyon brachyurus*) or Bush Dog (*Speothos venaticus*) than it would with a Grey Wolf.

Bottom line, don't fall for whatever this company is trying to tell you. If the Dire Wolf were to be brought back, it wouldn't be via something like this, and certainly wouldn't *look* like this. If you want an idea as to how a real Dire Wolf would look like in life, here is some fantastic paleoart by artist Mauricio Antón:

Addendum: I seem to have partially miscalculated Dire Wolf genetics. They were not closer to Maned Wolves or Bush Dogs, but they were still not closely related to Grey Wolves. They were basal members of Canini, related to canids like Jackals (genus Lupulella) but distinct from them. I am sorry for this misinformation in my attempt to correct other misinformation. My main point, however, is still correct.

[localcryptidsteg]

This is pretty much the new crap with the "dire wolves"

[localcryptidsteg]

Asheville town hall turns chaotic as Rep. Chuck Edwards faces constituents

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[localcryptidsteg]

Stolen from reddit kjjjj

[localcryptidsteg]

What the FUCK. What the FUCK.

[localcryptidsteg]

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[localcryptidsteg]

Something something inquisition holy wars indulgences separation from England and deep south america hates them

found a person from 1689 using tumblr

[localcryptidsteg]

[localcryptidsteg]

lions are very mean and like jellyfish

[localcryptidsteg]

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

[localcryptidsteg]

[localcryptidsteg]

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.