locustacos

[locustacos]

I need to talk to someone about rvb, about locus and felix and GRRRRRRR i feel like i am going utterly insane having no one to talk about it with

[locustacos]

Read a fic where Mason wore Venator armor, thought abt what if Felix got Locus to “get rid” of Mason w/o getting his own hands dirty, technically, thank you, and then spent the next decade waking up in a cold sweat from dreaming of taking his place. Imagine,

[locustacos]

locus gave this product 1 star: My order is 2XL. Why is this so tight?

response from seller: OH

[locustacos]

felix & locus; the object that keeps me alive is the one that will kill me

mitski, 'a pearl' // red vs blue 12x06 // gregory orr, orpheus & eurydice: a lyric sequence // red vs blue 13x16 // heather havrilesky, dear polly, 'he told me i was nothing!' // red vs blue 13x17 // the crane wives, 'tongues and teeth' // hera lindsay bird, 'mirror traps' // the mountain goats, 'no children' // air traffic controller, 'this is love'

[locustacos]

Just… Epsilon, man. 

You’re the haunted memories of a man who is the haunted memories of another man so struck with grief that he’s resorted to irreconcilable things, and because you’re those haunted memories, you understand exactly why he did the things he did, but how can you reconcile that when what he did was to you? But also not you, because you’re not the Alpha, but you are, all at once, you’re the memories of a man so sick he had to purge you in order to survive, and that means there’s some irrevocably wrong with you, but you have to carry that. You are the memories and you have to carry those memories. 

But it’s not just the memories of him you carry, or the memories of the Director you carry, but of Church, Alpha bereft of his memories who nonetheless managed to create more, new ones, who almost managed what you know, as an AI fragment, is near-impossible (humanity, integration), but couldn’t, because how do you become a fully realized, full whole person without any context for your very existence past Blood Gulch, but you– 

You have that. You shouldn’t be able to, you’re a fragment, but because you get Alpha, and the other fragment’s memories, and Church, an almost impossible legend for something like you, you defy any odds, any theoretics and can be that. You can do what, despite trying, the other fragments are just physically and psychologically incapable of ascending to. 

So you’re Church, as in the concept, but you’re Church as in the person and Church as in the memory, and you’re everything that makes up Church– Theta, Delta, Iota, Eta, Omega, Gamma, Sigma, Dr. Leonard Church– but you’re also Epsilon. 

You’re Epsilon who is the memory, but Epsilon who is the person, and Epsilon now carries Wash, too, so there’s another context that helps to bridge the gap between AI and human, and you’re Epsilon the bearer of so much pain and context that you tried to kill yourself the moment you had even an inch on your leash, because you are something so heavy that Alpha had to purge you…

And despite that all, you’re able to combine every fragment, every memory and become not just whole but something new. Not just memory, but someone who can both carry those memories and make new ones and be someone new. 

So you’re Church and you’re Epsilon and what that means is that you’re Epsilon, and you’re Church, as separate entities, but you’re Epsilon-Church and Church-Epsilon and there’s legacy and reality and myth and grounded existence all wrapped up into one little aging AI, and wow. 

And you can see that this is a strain! It’s hard to be all of these things! Church is Church– the guy in Bloodgulch who made friends with a variety of weirdos of which he belongs with–, Church is Epsilon– the AI unit that has a job, has a role (And I could go on and on about how Carolina’s greatest fault in an otherwise beautiful relationship is how much she kind of abuses Epsilon’s need/hyperfocus to have a job, but that’s another post), Church-Epsilon is both, and that’s, I think, when he’s truly integrated and whole, and it’s a shame he doesn’t get to do that very often because of the risk and struggle they’re constantly involved in, but–  Epsilon-Church is just truly a rainbow in the purest sense of identity, and he make a me cry

[locustacos]

Gurl Dinner

[locustacos]

the funny thing about grimmons is like. its entirely possible it becomes canon. its also entirely possible it does not become canon. schrödinger's grimmons.

[locustacos]

Guy and his pet dude

Reblogs > Likes

[locustacos]

there's no heterosexual explanation

[locustacos]

feeling so incredibly normal about agent washington right now.

[locustacos]

Donut helps Sarge make his fursona

[locustacos]

Sometimes Doc doesn't stand up for himself, and he feels awkward... O'Malley would like to offer his help~

[locustacos]

what project freelancer does to an mf

[locustacos]

carolina: please stop using wash's mugshot as a reaction pic

church: no

[locustacos]

heyyyy

[locustacos]

HOME, SWEET HOME “Are you done or not?” “You know, I always thought it would look much better.”

see the full zine over here