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bella

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One thing about me is I am not doing so well

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Did I ever tell you guys

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I'm sleeping in a van most nights. It's not ideal but I've never felt more alive.

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make all the metalheads cry - a cameron barlow AU

Saturday nights never failed to be piled full with events to go to and California was no exception. You couldn’t cross a bulletin board from Los Angeles all the way to Oakland that wasn’t plastered with varying posters for parties, open mic nights, and free shows trying to lure you in. Neon paper, bold print and free entry in capital letters were made to make them even more appealing but Cameron couldn’t be bothered to glance in their direction. He already had plans tonight; plans that had been circled on his calendar for almost a month now. Plans that he would be lying if he said he hadn’t been counting down the days for. Local’s favorite club had the major punk band Do It Right performing a highly anticipated sold out show as their tour passed through the west coast. 

It had been five years since his band performed for their senior year talent show, making a semi memorable effect on the audience that showed up in their school auditorium. The performance had heart and clear talent but hours of practice still couldn’t buffer the nerves that caused him and his fellow bandmates to fumble a bit. Under the alias of Stalemate at the time, the band took their first live performance as room for improvement for the last five years and now they were finally making strides. Plenty of basement shows had been played so much so that the distance of them lugging equipment couldn’t even be counted any longer but the resilience and the effort the three of them had put behind their passion for his band was finally paying off. 

Feeling Phantom, their recently reimagined alias had brought in a favorable crowd at the last couple shows they had played which also resulted in a boost on social media. While it was still humbling numbers in the mid hundreds their following seemed to be increasing and more people started liking what they were making. It was not an overnight success but they were determined it was growing into something bigger and they must not have been the only ones to feel that way as Do It Right asked them to be their first opening act due to a last minute drop out by the previous band. With a show this massive even if they were playing at six thirty when doors opened they were still playing for what would without a doubt be their biggest crowd yet. 

Anticipation buzzed through a crammed venue that was holding every body count of its mandated capacity. Incoherent chatter buzzed around and the bar was backed up with requests so far that made the calm appearance of the bartenders seem concerning. They were either going to crack or they were made for this. Outside, Cameron was standing with a beer can resting idly in his hand. He hoped a small preshow buzz would prevent the hype turning into nerves inside his brain. He pushed the nerves down and found his attention back at the conversation his other two band mates were having with him. Isaac, their lead singer, was going on a seemingly inspirational train of thought about them just having fun tonight when their guitarist Chris interrupted the speech that was going to just keep going. “Don’t we always?” He asked with a nudge to Cameron that caused him to smile in reaction. No matter what happened up there at the end of the night they always had fun just doing what they loved. Isaac ran a hand through his buzzcut knowing that he couldn’t keep rambling forever, eventually they were going to have to do the damn thing.

Eventually turned out to be fifteen  minutes away from that moment. Quickly the trio had to gather their gear and assemble on stage to perform. As their overhead music cut off Cameron held onto his guitar prepared to open with something that could only hopefully grab the attention of this audience. Isaac looked over at him with a huge grin and nodded back toward Chris who was positioned at the drums with a matching beam of joy across his face. They could do this and they were going to kill it. The warming of Chris' drums led them into their first song of the night and it drew the attention of several people in the crowd to watch what they were doing. No matter the outcome of the night they knew in that moment that if they had captured the attention of that audience that they were doing it right.

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NO HAY LEY

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“what motivates you?”

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i love sitting in my room…..alone….a girl in her cave….scheming and plotting and drinking tea

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his chest.

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Jealous of everybody getting rawed by the love of their lives 🙁

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so far being in my 20s is like *hyperfixates* *oversleeps* *mourns my lost youth* *hyperfixates* *oversleeps* *oversleeps* *drinks too much on a thursday* *oversleeps*

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what a fucking year this morning has been

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WOLF ALICE performing “Silk” at Glastonbury 2022