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Virtual Diary turned 6 today!

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Hi, it's been a while, i moved to a new place which is closer to my workplace. It has a wide window, i decorate it by putting a mirror-like sticker, set up my bed by adding quilt cover, tidying it up each morning. It only started few days ago, i hope it can become a new good habit, restarting and improving my life in a good way. Wish me luck. :)

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Reading my old posts, wow man, seems like happiness was not in my side

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I should help myself.

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It is kinda odd when you talking about our future marriage life when you asked me to not have any expectation about marrying you. I did what you've asked earlier to not have any expectation about it. I have no idea about it, I can't see it in my bucket list. These days you brought it up, I don't know how to react. Not excited, more like confused. I already accept the fact that we will not be married, you don't want to be with me, it's just like you forget what you told me that night. I am not ready to settle down soon, I love you, I'm just not ready and I don't have any dream about it.

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I really don't want to mix my romance life and work life. Bcz it probably would affect each other. My bf recently start his new business, he want me to join in it. I knew he want a somebody whom trustworthy to help him maintain his business, but im not really into it. Not interested in it. It maybe will be a big business with a huge profits, but I don't want to involve in it. He gave me share in his business, do I love it? No. I don't need anything, I just want to be alive, be alone. I want to explore myself, understand myself more. I may be egoistic, but I need a space for myself and heals it. Start a new life, stick in a rule and order. He is a good man while I think qbout myself, i'm the one who take the blame in our relationship.

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i need to do that to myself, i’ll try it.

I keep repeating, “Self-control is just empathy with your future self” and it’s honestly saving my life right now.

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and it becomes so annoying because i curious about it and i abandon my activity to recalls that command or thought.

Brain problem

I got a problem with my brain. It happens every time and unintended. Like, I’m in the middle of doing something and suddenly a command or something pops out in my brain, and if I ignore it for a second later, it’ll gone. I forget it all, I can’t remember a single thing about it. Help

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I was so egoistic that day, i’m sorry.

it would be better if i stay on my room that day, or come earlier in the morning soon after you called, asked me to come.

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It is December and i still too scared to talk.

I’m not a sugarcoater, i’ll tell what i feels, no matter how harsh it is.

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It was really hurting me when someone i love the most asked me to love someone else, “you better with someone else” he said.

All i want is you or nothing at all, not someone else.

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unbanned!

tumblr is banned oon my country due to adult content on tumblr, now tumblr have a new regulation about it, wish my gov unbanning it soon.

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it’s October and couldn’t say anything I want because is too scared to see someone's reaction. But still, im not sugarcoating anything.

I’m not a sugarcoater, i’ll tell what i feels, no matter how harsh it is.

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너무 무서워

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The God Anubis Painted relief depicting the jackal-headed god Anubis, detail from the Tomb of Horemheb (KV57). New Kingdom, late 18th Dynasty, reign of Horemheb, ca. 1306-1292 BC BC. Valley of the Kings, West Thebes

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It’s October 3rd, that’s so fetch! #MeanGirlsDay

“Portrait of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Mifflin (Sarah Morris),” 1773, by John Singleton Copley

“At the Moulin Rouge: The Dance,” 1889–90, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

“A Woman and a Girl Driving,” 1881, by Mary Cassatt

“Portrait of Miss Elizabeth Linley [later Mrs. Richard Brinsley Sheridan],” around 1775, by Thomas Gainsborough

“Girl Tatting,” around 1906, by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

“Arrangement in Black (The Lady in the Yellow Buskin),” around 1883, by James Abbott McNeill Whistler

“To Let,” c. 1855-1860, by James Collinson

”Assembly at Wanstead House,“ 1728–31, by William Hogarth

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Details - Sandro Botticelli, Primavera. Alexander McQueen, spring, 2018.