lonesome-pear

[lonesome-pear]

Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

[lonesome-pear]

i’m losing my mind

[lonesome-pear]

just made the most beautiful thing i've ever seen

[lonesome-pear]

i like when kids get to that age when they start wishing death and pain and violence upon toddlers tv characters. like most people know the songs about killing barney the dinosaur but i also have vague memories of me and my classmates roleplaying drowning peppa pig. my younger cousin showed me a drawing of the teletubbies being ground up into tubby custard and i didnt even blink like yep. that age huh. the age of indescribable violence. been there buddy.

[lonesome-pear]

my wife tried to do the thing where you pull a tablecloth really fast and the dishes stay in place but instead of a tablecloth it was a towel and instead of dishes it was our poor long suffering cat that was just trying to sleep on said towel. poor baby got whipped across the room fast enough that its meow got dopplered into meeeeeeOOOWWwwwwww

[lonesome-pear]

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

[lonesome-pear]

[lonesome-pear]

TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON

♥

((you all better come back with some amazing tales))

[lonesome-pear]

reminiscing on when i went cave diving a couple years back & another dude who was in there was playing minecraft music out of his backpack so i just heard c418 slowly approaching me from within an actual cave. shoutout to that guy

[lonesome-pear]

gods greatest punishment was putting 1 trillion cool rocks on earth and no one with eyes big enough to see them all

[lonesome-pear]

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

[lonesome-pear]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE DOING IT ALL BY HAND??? LIKE BACKSPACING OUT EVERY LETTER BEFORE YOU SEARCH THE STRING???

String identified: AT A ' G T A A??? ACACG T TT AC T TG???

Closest match: Crassostrea gigas strain QD chromosome 2 Common name: Pacific oyster

[lonesome-pear]

Man, I love glitch Pokemon

Precious gibberish children

[lonesome-pear]

More favourite tropes:

“Unfortunately, [thing that would ordinarily be described in much stronger terms than ‘unfortunate’].”  

“Fortunately, [thing that is in no way fortunate].”  

“Unfortunately, [thing that would be fortunate in nearly any circumstance except the particular circumstance at hand].“  

“Fortunately, [very minor benefit that absolutely does not offset the considerable drawbacks of whatever just happened].“  

“Unfortunately, [the exact, word-for-word thing that somebody just expressed that they hope won’t happen].“  

“Fortunately, [complete non sequitur].”

[lonesome-pear]

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

[lonesome-pear]

Bougar

[lonesome-pear]

i was preparing a wet specimen one day and my dad was like this reminds me of my work buddy who ties dollar store balloons to roadkill and watches them fly away. and i had to drop everything for a second and say no. no i dont think this is like that