looking4thatqueersubtext

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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

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"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

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back in my prime picking back up my tumblr blog from when i was 13 and taking uquizzes

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Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

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love when stories inflict unspeakable horrors onto a person for no real reason. its not karma. its not payback. its not a lesson. its not your fault. no ones even out to get you in particular. youre not the chosen one or special or anything. it just sorta happened and you were there. sorry man

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Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

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mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

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mi manca l'aria

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A collection of Black Books of Hours

Black Hours, ca. 1475 (Morgan Library, New York)

Horae beatae marie secundum usum curie romane, ca. 1458 (Hispanic Society of America)

Black Hours of Galeazzo Maria Sforza, ca. 1466-1476 (Austrian National Library)

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me, flirting: do you wanna hear a cool etymology

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no punctuation we read like romans

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Where's that tweet about people still living long fulfilling lives even through the fall of the roman empire because I think about it constantly

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its almost as if trumps loss in 2020 was in-fact a bellwether for the continued rise of neo-fascism... its almost like, just maybe, when a liberal party responds to reactionary ideologies with centrism and militant nationalism it doesn't exactly offer a counter to fascism but instead offers nutritive soil for its roots to grow... you could almost argue that a state that extracts its power from violent exploitation will inevitably fall to fascism... perhaps, just maybe, this is the inherent trajectory of a nation built on genocide... weird...

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to be perfectly honest i think that ghosts being transluscent and faded is kind of antithetical to what they represent. they're an echo that cannot move on, cannot fade out - they should be oversaturated and stiff and strangely out of place and unchanging, like something preserved in clear glass.