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[loonyka]

APPARENTLY pillsbury started making these canned bitches in 1956:

which means that in the late 70′s and 80s when armand was giving daniel the hassle they existed and could be found on grocery store shelves, in this exact kind of can.

can you imagine the unbridled enthusiasm armand would have for this kind of container? the bricks his 500 year old self would shit when daniel peels back the label and whacks the can on the edge of the counter so that it violently bursts open like a cinnamon roll grenade? 

i’m just saying, there was definitely a night where armand made daniel buy every single can in the cold foods section so that he could sit around busting them open and listening to the insane POP from the compressed air inside escaping.

on one hand it sounds like an active war zone in their unit with armand figuring out what he can whack the can on to get it to explode open (edge of the dining table? yes. daniel’s shoulder? solid NO what the fuck armand, are you trying to break my collarbone??). on the other hand, the entire building loves them that night because daniel finally had the good sense to make armand take them around and gift them to the neighbors rather than get sick trying to eat them all himself.

we’re not even gonna get into the things they did with one of the little frosting containers

all in all it’s a better time than the night armand got fascinated by pop tabs and opened an entire case of soda, but to this day daniel gets a little naseous every time he passes a cinnabon and smells cinnamon rolls in the oven

[loonyka]

Pandora

[loonyka]

The mental image of Armand going with Dora to a forensics office to identify her murdered father’s disembodied head, and getting pity and condolences from staff who think he’s a traumatized child has me laughing so hard rn. We as a fandom should start calling Armand a “real trooper” instead of a “Botticelli angel” since he apparently prefers that lmao

[loonyka]

So like... I need people to cry with about this with me because I was making some (belated) pysanky for the first time in YEARS and made myself sad. Therefore others must also suffer with me.

Spoilers for The Vampire Armand I guess??

So for context for those who haven't read TVA and then some discussion

So just after Armand is turned, he and Marius go back to Ukraine to find his family. He wants to see them one last time because he never got to say goodbye. At first, he thinks his mother doesn't recognize him, but Armand finds out that his father is not dead. Rather, he became the town drunk (though he was once a very respectable hunter) basically because he feels responsible that he couldn't protect Armand.

But! His mother did recognize him and followed him to the tavern. She finds him on his way out and brought a pysanka egg and the painting he had gone out to deliver the day he and his father were attacked. He refused the painting, telling her to keep it, but took the pysanka.

Then he kept the egg with him in his coffin until Santino stole him again.

And like... in the cultural context of pysanky eggs, his family most likely would've made a new one every year to protect him if he was still alive or act as an in memoriam of sorts. Usually there's a big exchange of pysanky for Easter each year and everyone makes some for their relatives - both living and dead. But pysanky are also placed at the graves of loved ones and even placed into coffins with the dead.

It just hurts my heart SO MUCH that the pysanka Armand's mother gave him when he returned to his home (the one and only time after he was turned) was most likely the egg she likely made in memory of him. And then he keeps it in his coffin, as though his mother had placed it with him in his grave.

I'm fine. This is fine. I totally didn't cry about this for like 10 minutes while de-waxing an egg.

[loonyka]

Anne may have been all over the place sometimes, but other times she was right on the money (French history, Shakespeare, etc). And not to project onto her too much but she seems exactly like the kind of woman that would have had a vintage book of flower meanings.

I learned a few things when I was doing fic research on the language of the flowers that are shown in the illusion Armand creates for Daniel in Daniel's turning scene in Devil's Minion (consider this an addendum to my Armand & The Flowers post). It's the last thing Armand will ever share with Daniel through his mind before he commits the act he thinks will condemn Daniel forever—from Heaven to Hell, Paradise Lost, so to speak. Now, there's no way of knowing whether or not Anne was intentional with the flowers she chose for this scene but she obviously put a lot of thought into it being a instrumental moment in Armand's character arc, so you know that - I'm pretending that she did!

Before we get it into it, I just want to say too that these definitions will obviously vary from culture, time period, so on. Unless otherwise noted, the references I used for this came from an antique Victorian book: Language of Flowers.

Such roses and chrysanthemums, how enormous they were. And light poured from the doorways of the Villa of the Mysteries. Was there music playing? Why, the whole ruined place was brilliantly illuminated under the incandescent blue of the night sky.

Roses (QotD doesn't specify what kind, I went with Maiden's Blush for the meaning): If you do love me, you will find me [seek me] out.

Chrysanthemums: I love/I love you.

The flowers were crushed against them, huge drowsing yellow dahlias and white gladioli, such lovely drenching perfume.

Dahlias: Forever thine [forever yours].

Gladioli: Ready; armed; Flower of the Gladiators

They stood beneath the dead tree twined full of airy purple wisteria blossoms. And the blossoms stroked his face, the clusters of waxy petals. Something came back to him, something he had known long ago—that in the language of an ancient people the word for flowers was the same as the word for blood.

Wisteria: I cling to you.

*This one wasn't on the PDF list so I had to look elsewhere. Every site that I saw listed the Victorian definition as some variation of the above. X

Bonus:

But it was real! Look at the crumbling old brick walls, and the flowers in their long deep beds, and the path itself with Armand's damp footprints! And the stars overhead, the stars! He turned around and reached up into the lemon tree and broke off a single fragrant leaf.

Lemon Tree: "Because they simultaneously flowered and bore fruit, lemon trees came to signify both the Virgin Mary and the goddess Venus. Their hidden meaning is a promise to be true, or fidelity in love." X

[loonyka]

I finally got a real drawing tablet and I’m so very happy with it😌

[loonyka]

Actually the funniest Vampire Chronicles/What We Do in the Shadows crossover possible would be Colin Robinson trying to feed by explaining the history of toaster ovens or some shit to Armand and Armand sitting there listening intently like 😍😍😍

[loonyka]

The Vagabond Angel Child of Satan ; A r m a n d ——————– The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice

[loonyka]

gourmand? ain't that the bitch from interview with the vampire?

[loonyka]

Riyoko Ikeda, Orpheus no Mado.

[loonyka]

Armand isn’t the only one who missed Riccardo.

[loonyka]

everyone else: *paragraphs about armand's beauty that basically boil down to varying fetishizations of his youth*

daniel: he's a monster. he's like an insect. he looks and feels cold and dead. he laughs at gore in movies. he's microwaving a rat in my kitchen. god, it's hot.

[loonyka]

doodling book armand is my favourite activity

[loonyka]

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

[loonyka]

🌚Armand 😇 542 💋 New York 🗽 Violence 😘

[loonyka]

My favorite thing about fanfic authors is they can identify any gap in a canon timeline where characters are offscreen and exploit the ever living fuck out of it

They see a time skip of any length and go

[loonyka]

If you ever feel like you have bad social skills remember when Khayman wanted to befriend another vampire but ended up unintentionally setting him on fire with his mind powers