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i send this bc i know you like darker stories with lupin but today i found out some people who had lobotomies lost the ability to dream and lupin doesnt dream so that could be an interesting au to think abt. They didnt end until the 1960s either which is where many stories in the franchise take place in and they didnt have the strictest criteria of who would get one so...it would be plausible. I like giving characters i like disabilities too so i couldn't help find this fascinating

O.O bro lobotomy AU sounds so spooky fr could you imagine what you could do with that-?

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you

your discord

hand it over >:3c

Oh hell yeah >:3 One sec boi

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i am good :D Whatcha up too :3

Good! Chores currently and thinking for my next chapter >:3 what about u?

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hai :3 How are you :D

Good! And you? 👀😌

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;3

Hi :3

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Who, out of the lupgang, do you think would have an existential crisis? I could see it happening to a couple of them tbh, and the others are trying their best to help calm them down and get through it.

I like this ask >:3c

Most to least likely in order?

Lupin/Goemon

Pops

Jigen

Fujiko

Lupin and Goemon are pretty self explanatory. They’re both heirs in long lines of successful thief families. Lupin needs to live up to the expectations his family has set and then some. He’s just another cog in the machine and, while he feels like he’s in control, you can’t always control your life. He thinks a lot about who he would’ve been if he wasn’t Lupin the Third. Some normal guy with a boring life? A successful thief starting his own brand outside of the Lupin family name? Is he just like his ancestors? How different can he truly be? Is there anything for him outside of grand schemes and theft? It keeps him up at night. Sometimes the others catch on but he never speaks about it unless he’s having a panic attack or breakdown from it. It’s not their burden to shoulder.

Goemon had a lot of the same expectations combined with being the owner of Zantetsuken. We know from Part 2 that the sword will stop working in the next 100~ years. Does it bother him that it’s a stain on his legacy? The samurai that ruined the Zantetsuken by losing its mate? And don’t even get him started on finding a partner and potentially having a Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth! He never seemed too interested it in, but being the 13th of his name puts some pressure on him to have a 14th. He also wonders what life would be like if he wasn’t literally the last practicing samurai in the world because damn…that’s heavy to think about. Would he still be some sort of super skilled thief/assassin? Or just some average man doing his taxes? It stresses him out quite often. He meditates. He wouldn’t discuss it with anyone unless it was Lupin, because Lupin would be the only one to really understand.

Zenigata is a bit different? Bro kinda chose his life path but there is the fact that he’s an older guy. He won’t be able to chase Lupin forever. What will happen when that day comes? Or the day when Lupin dies for real? Or just disappears and nobody has a Lupin Theft™️ ever again? Zenigata doesn’t let himself think about it because it leads to pretty serious spirals and he usually finds ways to distract himself (like chasing Lupin).

Jigen…he’s a lot different. He’s not a successor of a famous namesake. All he has is his legacy as the best marksman and being Lupin’s partner. He’s always going to be Lupin’s partner, to death do they part. But he could lose that legacy. He’s also made some fucked up choices, some of which he probably had no control over with his time in the mafia. He wonders a lot about if he could’ve been a better man. And if that would’ve affected his being with the group. On a rare night it gets bad he drinks and shoots the shit with Lupin. They don’t discuss it the next day.

Fujiko doesn’t really have much to worry about I feel? She knows who she is. She’s a boss bitch and she gets what she wants. She doesn’t have to conform to anyones expectations but her own (which include being rich and hot and those are pretty easy for her). She can understand where the boys are coming from though, and gives crazy good pep talks on how to not conform to what other people want and how to live for yourself. We love a supportive queen

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Here they are!! My first ever set of pins!! If you're interested, you can get them here! I'm super excited to finally be opening my own shop, and I look forwards to continue adding more in the future!

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poor goemon needs to learn to accept his horny. Maybe hes an apathetic asexual tho who knows

Lmao I personally headcanon him as being on the asexual spectrum BUT he does need to acknowledge that it’s okay to imagine your partners shirtless and leaning over you 😌 like the CPR scene but in reverse

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;3

>:3c

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Top NSFW headcanons for the lupgang? (if you have any)?

Disclaimer: this is written by an ace with minimal NSFW knowledge so there isn’t much here but have fun anyway! It’s mostly silly shit ngl

Obviously NSFW content ahead so y’know what to do!

* Fujiko and Lupin both have VERY accomplished sex toy collections. Jigen and Goemon walked in on these collections and the end result was Jigen laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe afterward and Goemon leaving for 3 months and never speaking of it again.

* Zenigata has seen this collection and had SEVERAL questions because he thought they were for heists

*this also prompted the thought of a sex toy shaped like Jigen’s magnum that Lupin has gifted to him

*Jigen found it funny af

*Lupin sticks dildos to the walls of the hideouts sometimes (Goemon detests this and is freaked out by them honestly)

*Lupin acts like a whole top but everyone fucks him let’s be fr here

*Goemon regularly accidentally walks in on people naked and or fucking and it’s literally just because he’s so quiet and doesn’t understand the sock on the door thing. He is now required to wear a bell on certain days.

*Fujiko is honestly a rough lover? Idk she has the vibe I guess I dunno I’m ace I can’t really gauge this personally.

*uhm..Gonna say that Pops reads up on sex studies when he’s in his mandated therapists office? You can’t tell me about the “this symbolism’s very disturbing!” quote and say it didn’t come from some study in a magazine in a therapists office

*jigen…is very good at strip routines

*Lupin is also good at them but he’s too eager and goes too fast

*sometimes stuff happens during heists and Goemon has ✨gay fantasies✨ which is when he breaks out the sword and fights the boys instead of fucking them or running away

*Lupin and Jigen have matching tramp stamps they got as drunk teens/young adults

That’s it for now bc I have nothing going on up here

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That header image is fucking amazing lol also do you post your fanfic anywhere else? Just read the latest chapter and really liked it and id like to read it in order ^_^

Tbh I’ve thought about making a Ao3 but I didn’t know if the fic was popular enough for it! I’m considering it more now that you’ve asked though! It’ll be a bit choppy but I did tag all of it under the Cyborg!Lupin and Midnight Jacket AU tags on my account as well if that helps any for the time being!

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Thought it would be a longer wait? Think again! It’s Chapter 17 and I’m putting Lupin through hell! >:3c how will the gang make up for an error in judgement about Lupin’s condition?

TW: hallucinations, panic

Lupin slowly opened his eyes, tiredly regarding the ceiling of his pitch black room. It was definitely past midnight…what the hell woke him up? Sitting up slightly to change his position between Jigen and Goemon to a more comfortable one, something caught his eye. Turning slowly, Lupin felt his blood run cold, heart skipping a beat as he grew pale. He was here-

Dr. Mad was in the room.

Lupin stared at the smirking figure, his face barely illuminated by the light of the moon from the window. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t even blink. This wasn’t one of his flashbacks…he was here. He had to do something before the doctor got him or one of the others. Keeping his eyes on the figure, he slowly edged his hand over and gripped Jigen’s tightly. The gunman’s eyes slowly opened, glancing around before his gaze found the thief. Frowning, he followed Lupin’s stare to the wall as he sat up slightly.

“Jigen…” Lupin spoke so softly it almost made no sound. “H-He’s back- he’s in here-“

Jigen frowned, glancing around as he grabbed his Magnum from under his pillow. “Where’s he at?” He breathed, as his eyes searched the darkness.

“By the door…Ji, can’t you see him-?” Lupin gripped his hand tighter, more anxiety settling in. It wasn’t a flashback…it couldn’t be a flashback.

Jigen frowned, following his gaze quietly for a moment before lowering his gun. “Lu…nobody’s there..”

“No- no he’s right-“ Lupin glanced at him for a millisecond before looking back, hesitating when the figure had vanished. “..there…”

“Mm..what are you two doing awake..?” Goemon turned over, looking them both over curiously.

“I..” Lupin bit his lip, cautiously climbing out of bed as he looked around the room quietly.

“Lupin?” Goemon sat up, frowning. “Another flashback?” He glanced at Jigen, frowning more.

“Mm..I’m thinkin’ this is different. He woke me up on his own this time…” Jigen climbed out of bed, turning on the bedside light. Usually Lupin would wake them up screaming or fighting in flashbacks…never like this.

Lupin crouched down, checking under the bed before looking in the closet. Huffing, he walked to the window and checked the locks. What the hell? He saw him…but there was no trace of anyone being here but them..this just wasn’t adding up…the window was locked and there wasn’t anywhere else for him to hide…

“Lu, come back to bed, alright? It was prolly just a dream or somethin’.” Jigen put a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him.

Lupin frowned, shaking his head. “…sure…” he mumbled, getting back into bed as he turned onto his side.

Goemon frowned, glancing from Lupin to Jigen as the two locked eyes. Something wasn’t right but..they wouldn’t push it tonight. Maybe it had just been some sort of night terror and Lupin would forget it in the morning? The gunman shrugged, sighing as he got back into bed and turned the lamp off. They could sort it out tomorrow…but he would make sure to sleep light until then.

~~~~~

“And it wasn’t a flashback-?” Zenigata frowned, looking at Jigen and Goemon across the table the next morning.

“I don’t think it was.” Jigen shook his head. “He was too present for it to be one.”

Goemon nodded, frowning down into his cup tea. “He was very concerned…he seemed almost certain that the doctor was there.”

“But he wasn’t.” Jigen frowned. “No trace of anyone but us.”

Zenigata hummed, drinking his coffee as he thought quietly. He glanced through the bay window to the back porch, watching Fujiko help Lupin with some special effects silicone skin. It was something she had thought up to help boost his confidence or something. He wondered if things had taken some sort of turn and he had moved from flashbacks to hallucinations?

“I mean…the guy did break his skull. Who knows what type of damage that did to him physically…” Zenigata frowned. “If it isn’t some form of emotional trauma making him hallucinate the doctor, it might be something physical?”

“Fuck..” Jigen frowned, glaring to the side as he lit a cigarette angrily.

“Like….Brain damage-?” Goemon asked anxiously, glancing toward Lupin and Fujiko outside.

“Maybe? I’m not a doctor so don’t get worked up about me spitballing.” Zenigata frowned, holding his hands up placatingly. “All I’m saying is that he’s still healing. Hallucinations might just be a way his brain is trying to cope. We just have to remind him that we’re here and that son of a bitch is dead.”

Outside, Lupin frowned as he pulled some fake skin over his hand and moved it around. “I’m telling you, Fujiko, I couldn’t have imagined it…I saw him there..”

“I know, sweetheart, but Jigen and Goemon checked and you did too. There’s no way he got inside. And Goemon killed him, remember? There’s no way he’s alive.” Fujiko frowned, rubbing his shoulder gently as she helped him right the skin on his hand. “That looks good!“

“Yeah…nearly identical actually, just need to add fine details.” Lupin hummed, looking through his disguise supplies. “…do you think I imagined it…?”

Fujiko frowned, cupping his face as she brought his gaze to meet hers. “I don’t know. But I do know that you’re safe and that this might just be part of the healing process.”

“Psh, I’m all healed and you guys know it.” Lupin pouted a bit, crossing his arms.

“Mentally, dummy.” Fujiko frowned, pinching his cheeks somewhat firmly before grabbing a contact case. “Try this and then let me see.”

“Alright, alright.” Lupin sighed, carefully taking out a contact before popping it in his cybernetic eye. “How’s it look?”

“Just like the other one! Perfect.” Fujiko smiled, nodding as she grabbed some more fake skin.

“Good.” Lupin nodded, resting back against the deck chair he was sitting in. “I’m alright. Mentally, I mean, you guys do know that, right?”

Fujiko glanced at him, frowning as she sighed. She had known Lupin long enough to know the man denied having problems like a man on trial denied committing murder. Even when they were there for everyone to see, she knew he wouldn’t say anything to anyone until he eventually snapped. Given how badly things had been for him this time around, she was worried about what Lupin snapping would look like…

“How’s the fake skin workin’?” Jigen stepped out into the porch, Zenigata and Goemon following behind.

“Pretty good. The contact works good too.” Fujiko smiled. “You could never tell anything happened.”

Jigen nodded, popping two mugs of coffee down on the table for the pair of them. “Sounds good.”

Zenigata looked it over curiously, frowning a bit. “I will never get over how realistic you four manage to get your special effects to be…”

Lupin laughed a bit, smirking. “I have a Zenigata mask in here somewhere~”

“Ew, don’t use my face for your crimes!” Zenigata huffed, looking through the bag as Fujiko laughed.

Goemon rolled his eyes fondly, looking up at the sky for a moment before frowning. “A storms coming in soon.”

“Damn, seriously?” Jigen frowned, glancing over. “It just started gettin’ nice out.”

“Why do you think it’s going to storm?” Zenigata glanced over, raising an eyebrow.

“Trust us, Pops, when Goemon says something about the weather, he’s spot on. If he wasn’t working with us he would be a hell of a weather man.” Lupin smiled softly, stretching. “Guess we better get ready for a storm, then.”

~~~~~~

Hours later, thunder rolled in the distance as Lupin sat in his bed, reading and listening to soft French music from a sleepy radio station. As much as he loved his partners, it was nice to have time to relax and he was glad they could all do something together, even if it was watching shitty scary movies from the 1950s on the TV downstairs.

Lupin sighed, setting his book down as he watched the lighting moving steadily closer and the wind pick up. Sometimes the flashes or the cracks from the thunder would make him jump…obviously a side effect from his time held captive, not that he would ever acknowledge it. He was Lupin the Third and he was NOT going to be scared by a storm of all things. Grabbing his book, the thief sat back and started to read again.

‘Lupin.’

Lupin hesitated, looking toward the door before he frowned more. He thought he heard someone calling for him..?

‘I know you hear me, Lupin.’ A cold, slow voice crackled from the radio.

“Fuck- no. No, I am not hearing this right now-“ Lupin paled, backing away from the radio slightly. He wasn’t going to sit and play into hallucinations!

‘But you are. I’m watching you right now, thief, and this is as real as it gets. You thought you could really escape what the doctor wanted for you?’ The voice let out a laugh that made Lupin’s blood run cold.

“No…no, this isn’t real. He’s dead!” Lupin bit his lip hard, looking around anxiously.

‘He is, unfortunately. A regrettable miscalculation. But he has an organization happy to take up where he left off.’ Another round of laughter sounded as lightning flashed outside the window. ‘You’ll never escape what the doctor wanted for you, Lupin. We’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth. And none of your pathetic friends will be able to get you back once we have you again.’

Lupin’s eyes widened, the hair on the back of his neck standing up as he quickly scrambled from the bed and looked around wildly. No, no, no- where the hell was he?!

“C-Come out and face me like a man!” Lupin cringed at the crack in his voice, eyes frantically searching for whoever was watching him.

‘Now, now, Lupin, where’s the fun in that when I can take you out one by one?’ The voice dissolved into a cackle as the power to the house flickered before cutting out completely.

Lupin choked out a cry, heart pounding as he quickly ran out of the room. Stumbling into the wall of the landing and tripping halfway down the stairs, he called out in the darkness for his partners. He couldn’t let whoever this was get to them! He needed to make sure they were safe!

“Christ, Lupin, calm the hell down!” Jigen called, shining a flashlight over to the thief at the bottom of the stairs. “The storm knocked the power out is all.”

“No, someone’s here! They’re coming for us!” Lupin looked around frantically, standing as he quickly went to Jigen. “Give me your gun-“

“Whoa! No way!” Jigen frowned. “Lu, it’s just the storm, nobody’s comin’.”

“No! I heard them through the radio, they’re watching us!” Lupin snapped, trying to grab at Jigen’s Magnum.

“Lupin.” Goemon took his hands firmly, frowning. “Nobody is watching us. Nobody knows where we are. We are safe, I promise you.”

“You guys aren’t getting it! They’re coming and- and they’re going to take us all out-!” Lupin pulled his hands away, backing away as he frowned. “Why won’t you listen to me?!”

“It’s just a hallucination, okay? Fujiko, come downstairs and help me check the fuse box so we can get the lights back on.” Jigen sighed, waving for her as he walked to the basement door.

“It’ll be alright, sweetie. The storm will pass.” Fujiko kissed his cheek, following behind Jigen.

“Guys-!” Lupin bit his lip, hands shaking as he looked after them anxiously.

“They will be alright. I’ll get you some water, just sit and relax.” Goemon assured, going to the kitchen.

Lupin groaned, flinching when the wind knocked branches against the windows. Zenigata frowned, placing a hand on his shoulder gently. He could understand the stress Lupin was trying to handle, even if there was no threat. Lupin bit his lip, clenching his fists before snatching Zenigata’s gun from the side of his hip. Before the stunned Inspector could react, Lupin was already out the door and halfway across the yard. If he couldn’t convince them, he would take the danger away from the house and handle it himself.

“YOU WANT ME SO BADLY?! COME AND FUCKING GET ME THEN!” The thief shouted, making a dead sprint for the woods beyond the house.

“Lupin-! Shit, LUPIN-!” Zenigata shouted, running out into the rain as the others dashed back into the living room.

Despite how quickly they tried, the thief had vanished through the haze of pouring rain and the dark of the woods.

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Well, I’ll be damned! It’s a short, sweet Chapter 16!! My lovely friend @funnymonkeythief suggested a self care chapter and (while it isn’t a spa chapter) the gang gets to be cute before I damage them to the brink of destruction!

“Look what I found!” Lupin smiled, pulling a portable radio out of a box on the kitchen table.

It had been about three days and they were all trying to take it a bit easier. Jigen was at the stove, cooking up a hell of a storm while the rest of them sat along the table. Fujiko was putting Goemon’s hair up while the samurai and inspector looked through some store bought seed packets and some flowers from outside together.

“A radio?” Zenigata glanced over, raising an eyebrow. They had the TV though?

“Ah, ah! The radio.” The thief smiled, turning the station dial carefully before picking up a station from Tokyo.

“How the hell did you manage that-?” Zenigata’s eyes widened a bit, looking at the radio incredulously.

“There was a time we had to use this place for long stints, so Lu programmed the thing to pick up stations worldwide.” Jigen shrugged, chopping some vegetables.

“Makes it easy to know when you’re after us.” Lupin winked, smiling as he placed the radio down on the table.

The inspector huffed, glancing away as blush crept into his cheeks. Whatever… He pulled the radio over, examining it quietly as Fujiko sat down beside them.

“It would be nice if we had a pool out here. We could swim while we listened to this.” She smiled softly, glancing at Lupin playfully.

“A good distraction for them while you and I go to the deep end~” Lupin giggled, smiling at her.

“Get a room.” Jigen bopped Lupin over the head with a rolled up newspaper, leaning against the counter as he let the food cook.

“Don’t flirt in front of my onigiri.” Goemon pouted a bit, glancing between them.

“Sorry, Goe.” Lupin laughed a bit, rubbing the top of his head where Jigen had smacked him.

The group continued to discuss their plans for the house, Goemon occasionally slipping hand woven flower rings and crowns onto the group throughout the conversation.

“A chicken coop sounds nice too.” Jigen glanced over. “Fresh eggs would save us money.”

“They’re easy to build, pools too.” Goemon glanced at Fujiko as he smiled softly.

“Yes! Oh, and a gazebo! It would be so pretty.” Fujiko gushed, smiling happily. “And it would be so nice to sit in the shade and read a book.”

“Who would make sure everything was taken care of once you all left?” Zenigata raised an eyebrow.

“I do have neighbors, yknow?” Lupin cocked an eyebrow, looking over at him.

“Ones that like you?” Zenigata asked, eyes widening in fake surprise.

“I’m wounded, Pops!” Lupin gasped, mock offended as the others laughed at him.

After some minutes, Fujiko grabbed the radio, turning the dial a few times before she found some trendy American station that was playing current hits. She smiled, turning the volume up as she jumped out of her chair. The others watched, amused, as she danced her way over to Jigen and grabbed his hands.

“Hey-“ Jigen hesitated, glancing at the group around the table.

“What, too much of a sourpuss to dance with me?” Fujiko teased, looking up at him playfully.

“Oh, what the hell…” Jigen mumbled after a moments hesitated, smirking as he danced with her.

Lupin laughed, watching them happily as he glanced at Goemon and Zenigata. The samurai was tapping his foot, watching Jigen and Fujiko with a small smile while Zenigata laughed softly and watched them fondly. The thief smirked, standing as he bowed and held his hand out to the inspector. The older man hesitated, face going red as he stumbled over his words.

“Jeez, Pops, I’m asking you to dance, not commit treason.” Lupin laughed softly. “We are on a truce, right?”

“…right..” Zenigata nodded hesitantly, standing as he took the smaller man’s hand in his own.

Lupin laughed, pulling him over by Fujiko and Jigen as the group danced together. Given everything that had happened, he hadn’t expected to be feeling so…good. But being together with his gang of partners, of family…it really helped him feel like nothing had even happened. Looking up, he beamed at the inspectors smiling face as the older man laughed and spun him around. This was living.

When the song eventually ended and the station cut to commercials, the group was out of breath and Goemon was enjoying his onigiri he managed to snag while nobody was looking. Fujiko laughed, kissing Jigen on the cheek as the gunman smirked and lit up a cigarette. Lupin laughed, hands on Zenigata’s broad chest as he shook his head.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done that.” Lupin smiled softly, glancing up at him.

“You’re definitely a lot better than I’d give you credit for.” Zenigata teased a bit, smiling down at him.

“Aw, Pops, you flatter me~!” Lupin winked, pulling him closer as he laughed.

“Jesus, Lu, give him a break or you’re gonna break him.” Jigen called over to him, laughing around his cigarette as he jerked a thumb at the inspectors red face.

“Kidding, kidding.” Lupin smiled, pulling back as he sat down and crossed his legs. “Or am I~?”

“Lupin-!” Zenigata sputtered, blushing more as the group laughed.

~~~~

From the attic, a shadowed figure worked with some machinery. Turning dials and knobs, crossing wires and pushing buttons, it wasn’t long before they managed to hack a barely used broadcast channel in the area. Perfect! Soon they would be able to begin their operations and nobody would be able to stand against the organization and Lupin the Third.

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Well, the votes are in! Rip in piss, inspector, say goodbye to your bones!

Time for a poll! Should I burn Zenigata or break his bones? I like fan input!

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*NOM*

*NOM*

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Time for a poll! Should I burn Zenigata or break his bones? I like fan input!

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Chapter 15, :D! It’s here! Goemon’s having some residual trauma issues from his time with Momochi and his diet due to sensory issues with food when he notices something dangerous is taking place! How will this impact the story? >:3 just you wait

TW: panic, passing out, lack of self care, sleep deprivation, starvation, disordered eating, general self neglect from Goemon

Days later, Goemon made his way through the woods surrounding the house. He had recently taking to getting up early and making breakfast for the others before leaving to spend the mornings outdoors. His current routine could be called…neglectful..by some, but he found that his current conditions could help push his limits in training. It was a good thing! Not that the others would understand…he was already getting comments about the bags under his eyes.

He was doing it for them more than he was for himself. Spending nights awake with Jigen through bouts of insomnia and helping Lupin through nightmares and pain flares..and he was technically saving food…even if he wouldn’t have eaten it anyways. But they were low on supplies and he was one less person to worry about, not that they knew he wasn’t eating. They hadn’t brought any money from past heists so shopping would be a problem, and more than usual, considering they were wanted not only by the police but also by anyone that may be looking for Lupin.

The samurai sighed, rubbing his face quietly as he leaned against a tree. It was…unusually warm today. Maybe he would head back early. He could start on lunch and..maybe a grocery list. He could budget for some food for himself hopefully. Turning, he made his way back to the house. Passing through bushes and under trees, he stumbled from time to time on stones under his shoes, though he would blame it on the unfamiliar terrain and not the fatigue catching up to him. Losing his footing on a surfaced root, Goemon stumbled again before falling onto his hands and knees. Panting, he rested his forehead against the cool grass and waited. Maybe staying like this for a few minutes would be alright….

~~~~~~

When he opened his eyes again, Goemon knew some time had passed. He must’ve dozed off, it seemed much later than just mid-morning…maybe mid-afternoon? Damn…he stood, frowning at the slight tilt in his peripheral vision as he began walking again. Whatever, he was alright. He didn’t need to nap on the grass. He didn’t need breaks. He was sure he was needed at home..he didn’t want anyone worrying about him taking too much time out. Breaking through the trees, Goemon froze, growing pale as his eyes widened. Someone was walking through the front door and into the house. Not anyone that was supposed to be there. Fujiko and Zenigata had gone shopping…Lupin and Jigen were in there alone with this person.

An assassin? A scientist?

A threat.

Goemon grabbed Zantetsuken from his side quickly, sprinting from the trees and to the porch. Bursting through the door hard enough to knock it from its hinges, Goemon unsheathed Zantetsuken, eyes wild as he search for a threat. He had to make sure no harm came to Lupin or Jigen. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened.

“JIGEN-! JIGEN, SOMEONE’S HERE-!” He cried, tunnel vision taking over as he lunged for a figure stepping into view in the doorway.

“Jesus, fuck!” Jigen grabbed his hat, scrambling backwards as he held his Magnum tightly. “Goemon, what the hell?!”

“Someone- someone’s in here-..!” Goemon gasped, stumbling slightly as he grabbed for the doorframe as his vision tilted.

“Shit- shit-! Lupin! Lupin, I need your help-!” Jigen quickly caught the samurai as he fell, lowering him onto the ground carefully. “Lupin!! Damnit, get in here!”

The thief quickly slid into the room, eyes widening as he got down on the ground beside them. He glanced at Jigen, moving Zantetsuken away from Goemon as he searched his face worriedly. Why the hell did he look so bad? He wasnt all shaky and pale this morning…he looked so worn down.

“Jigen-?” Lupin glanced at him again, brushing Goemon’s bangs back worriedly.

“Elevate his legs while I check the house. He said someone got in here.” Jigen frowned, grabbing his gun as he quickly went to search the house.

“Fuck..” Lupin bit his lip anxiously, moving Goemon’s head into his lap as he propped his legs up carefully.

Goemon groaned, closing his eyes tightly as his hands shook. The room was spinning which…wasn’t great for his hunger induced nausea. He wasn’t supposed to have Lupin babysitting him. Someone was inside the house and he was supposed to be protecting him! He shakily fumbled for the hilt of Zantetsuken. He needed to make himself useful!

“Goemon, hey.” Lupin took his hand gently, frowning. “Take it easy, alright? Jigen’s got it handled. What’s the matter with you?”

“I saw him…” Goemon mumbled, frowning deeply as he held Lupin’s hand firmly. “He’s inside..”

“Who’s inside?” Lupin frowned, glancing around nervously. “What did he look like?”

“Nobody.” Jigen walked back in, shoving his gone into the waistband of his pants. “Nobody’s here. He must’ve been seein’ things.”

“I saw him-!” Goemon sat up quickly, grunting as he held his head. “He-He walked in through the front door-!”

“Jesus, Goe, lay down!” Lupin pulled him back down, frowning. “We didn’t hear anyone come in and we were right in the other room…”

“All we heard was you runnin’ in here like a bat outta hell.” Jigen crossed his arms. “What’s the matter with you?” He got down on the ground beside him, frowning as he looked him over. “You’re seein’ things and passing out-“

“I did not pass out!” Goemon snapped, cautiously managing a glare at the gunman. “I fell! And I didn’t imagine anything either!”

“Guys!” Lupin frowned, getting between them. “Can we tone it down?”

Jigen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “When’s the last time you slept? Or ate? Because right now you’re lookin’ like you haven’t done either in days.”

Goemon closed his eyes, frowning quietly. “…I’ve been handling it.” That was all they needed to know.

“Handling-?…God, damnit, Goemon!” Jigen huffed angrily. “You’re scarin’ us half to death with neglect induced hallucinations for trainin’ purposes!!”

“I-“ Goemon cringed, hesitating. He thought he could’ve handled it…

“Jigen, enough.” Lupin looked at him sternly. “That’s enough.” He could tell it was going to get way too heated.

Jigen grumbled angrily, sighing as he rubbed his face. “Go see if you can find an apple or somethin’ for him. We’re gonna have a chat.”

“Jigen.” Lupin looked at him warningly.

“A calm chat! Jeez…” Jigen held his hands up placatingly, frowning.

“Mmm…if I hear any yelling there’s gonna be a long conversation in your future.” Lupin warmed, petting Goemon’s hair gently before going to search the kitchen.

Goemon and Jigen stayed quietly for a few minutes on the ground. Jigen was trying to think of a way to start this conversation that wouldn’t result in him yelling, which…was posing more and more difficult as he tried to formulate a plan. Goemon had scared the hell out of him, not to mention the obvious lack of self preservation the guy had AND making Lupin worry about someone breaking in to get him. Goemon, however, wasted no time in starting for him.

“…I apologize…” Goemon sighed, biting the inside of his cheek quietly.

Jigen sighed, leaning against the wall as he propped his left leg over his right knee. “I don’t even know where to start with you right now. What the hell were you thinkin’? That we wouldn’t notice? You can’t just keep doin’ this to yourself and call it trainin’!”

Goemon turned his head away from Jigen, frowning. “…it…wasn’t for training purposes…”

“Then what? What was so important that you took it this far?” Jigen crossed his arms, frowning at the lack of response after a moment. “I’m waintin’, Samurai.”

“…I didn’t want to make any extra trouble for any of you..”

Jigen hesitated, peeking out from under the brim of his hat at the samurai quietly for a moment. Extra trouble? Was that how he regarded this? His needs were extra trouble for them? What the hell…?

“I’m…gonna need you to elaborate, man.” Jigen frowned, leaning forward a bit.

Goemon laid quietly for a moment, chewing on his lip nervously. “..We should be focusing on Lupin’s recovery.”

“We can focus on both, y’know?” Jigen watched him quietly, glancing toward the kitchen.

“I can go without the sleep to help him during the night…and the food when we run low.” Goemon turned his head back toward Jigen, opening his eyes for a moment. “My needs-“

“Are just as important, damnit!” Jigen snapped, crossing his arms. “We can take shifts sleeping, Goe. We can get you food-“

“With what money? We have limitations here. I..have limitations. And my limitations are not your burden to shoulder. They are mine. And if I can’t conquer them then I will rise above and use them as training.” Goemon frowned, sighing softly. “I’m not going to make any trouble for any of you when the focus is supposed to be on Lupin.”

“Jesus Christ, Goe.” Jigen frowned deeply, eyes wide. “Is that what you think of all this? Fuck, listen. We can get you food you can eat. It’s not that big of a deal. Worst comes to worst I can go rob a bank or some shit. Everyone here deserves to be taken care of. Would you want any of us starvin’ if it was you Lupin’s place?”

“….no…I wouldn’t.” Goemon mumbled softly.

“Exactly.” Jigen took his hand carefully, squeezing it when he felt Goemon rub his thumb along his knuckles to soothe his anxiety. “But we can’t have any more of this, alright? I’m old enough to be havin’ heart attacks, and it doesn’t help when you nearly smash your face against the doorframes, got it?”

Goemon nodded faintly, frowning. “I’m sorry..”

“Don’t apologize, okay? I’ll take care of it. We’ll take care of it..” Jigen assured, kissing his knuckles softly as he glanced toward the kitchen.

Lupin walked back, smiling proudly. “I found an apple for you, Goe. It should help. Did we sort everything out?” He sat back beside them, propping Goemon’s head up on his legs carefully.

“Yeah. I need to make a call. You two stay here.” Jigen stood, walking into the other room.

“What’s that about?” Lupin tilted his head, handing Goemon bits of cut apple carefully.

“…I’m not fully sure..” Goemon frowned, eating the apple slowly. It..felt a lot better than being hungry.

“Better?” Lupin smiled softly, stroking his hair gently. “I have a second if you want me to get it.”

“It’s better, thank you..” Goemon slowly looked up at him. The spinning was dying down…

Lupin smiled softly, nodding as he played with his hair gently. He wasn’t sure what all was said…but he could always ask Jigen later. Hopefully it would all be alright soon…

~~~~~

“What the hell happened to the door-?” Fujiko frowned, stepping past it as she walked into the kitchen.

“Goemon.” Jigen sighed, grabbing the grocery bags from her.

“What’d he break the door for?” Zenigata cocked an eyebrow, putting some food into the fridge.

“He…said he saw someone come inside and it really freaked him out.” Lupin frowned, biting his lip.

“Someone got inside-?!” Zenigata grabbed his gun quickly, frowning.

“Chill out and keep it down!” Jigen huffed, frowning. “He hallucinated it.”

“‘He hallucinated it’?” Fujiko frowned, looking back at him. “We left for an hour, what the hell happened?”

Jigen sighed, stacking boxed food in the cabinets. “..he hasn’t eaten or slept much in the past couple of days. I’m guessin’ his blood sugar got low or somethin’…either way, he ran in here like a bat outta hell ravin’ about someone comin’ inside and then nearly bashed his face in on the doorway.”

“Oh, my god.” Fujiko frowned. “Is he alright?”

“He’s resting.” Lupin nodded. “Found something for him to have to eat and then we made him go rest..” he felt pretty bad about it.

“He felt like he was askin’ for too much…havin’ us get food he can eat.” Jigen frowned. “Of all the bullshit…where did he learn some asinine shit like this from?”

“Momochi.” Lupin frowned. “You know how he was with Goemon. That’s why he feels like it’s too much. He wasn’t allowed to have wants, never mind needs.”

“Well, we’re not gonna just let him go on like this. He’s gonna start takin’ care of himself.” Jigen frowned, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter.

“Obviously.” Lupin smiled. “We’re going to help him.” He sat at the table, leaning back in his chair.

“And…you’re sure nobody got in the house?” Zenigata frowned, stashing the grocery bags in a junk drawer.

“I checked every room. Nobody gets past me.” Jigen glanced over at him. “He had to have hallucinated it.”

“Good.” Fujiko nodded. “Last thing we need is anyone finding us out.”

The group continued their conversation, sitting around the table as Goemon rested on the couch. Despite the belief that the figure entering the house was a hallucination, a lone figure listening in was confident that his position wouldn’t be found out at any point by any of them…at least…not until he decided he wanted to show himself.