lorestory0

[lorestory0]

i can taste pain. i know that one wasnt normal. i dont remember how i found out but i found out.

but for some reason i kept going on thinking it was normal to be able to taste fatigue and i finally thought about it while im in front of a screen with working wifi so was finally able to look it up

i will not deny that as a vegetarian i probly need more b12 especially since im kinda close to vegan except pancakes exist.

also i get the feeling that google cant tell that my fatigue is from sleep deprivation so this answer might be based on a different question than whats in the search bar.

fatigue is more a spicy tangy taste to me.

im naturally more nocturnal to the point where night sleep is no sleep unless im already tired enough to be falling asleep at my screen. but my bed also has to be comfortable too. i had to deal with school. i know fatigue. how im not dead from that is a mystery especially with all the abuse that is still very much affecting me mentally... and physically. and no one checked the cameras. really bad time for a lawyer to remove trust of lawyers in the eyes of anyone who would be willing to do anything about the high school situation.

my grandma was the only one who could get the school to do anything. after she died abuse from both teachers and students increased a lot.

i dont fully trust my memory because thats a bad idea. but lawyer said "oh yeah u can get inheritance without losing disabiltiy money"

aunt took grandma credit card (same aunt that stole a lot of things)

(same aunt that just watched me struggle in the water slide when my back did a old man when i was 8 that made me glad my humor was so broken even back then. little child girl with big muscles was worth working out for so i was strong enough i was able crawl out the water while calling for help an almost dying. very vivid memory actually and i still have back problems)

no disability money and very little grandma money

abuse from high school make me get panic attack at the sight of a human.

anime people dont trigger the fear response but if the artstyle detailed enough it can cause discomfort.

quitting attack on titan because the art style triggered my fear of humans while the titans themselves were visually less terrifying to me is a very unique experience im sure.

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i feel attacked not even trying to use ai btw its just forced anytime i wanna look up something,

there it is. that hypersensetivity that makes my mom mad at me

i still dont even know how much of anything on theres just false but google wont let me look up stuff without al showing up to the party.

but this does seem like something the hypersensitivity would do

im still tryna figure out how having a normal schedule makes me feel worse and have a even worse time sleeping so i can only assume its got something to do with high school ptsd and/or being more aware of the pressures of time

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i need to remember what brand of switch case did this. its not like i can just afford a new switch.

im clumsy and anything to keep my switch better protected seemed worth is since if it breaks my pokemon die with it.

but

it genuinely smelled like if someone roasted horse doo doo. i have a strong sense of smell and know what horse doodoo smell like and have over cooked things enough times that i can kinda figure out that roasted horse doodoo is the closest thing i could compare that smell to. thats not even the worst part. maybe it would be ok if not for this, but that smell gets stuck to other things it touches too and even if i put the switch in a plastic bag while im playing it, the smell still gets everywhere .

i cant find which one it is on walmart to give a warning but i know it has a rubbery feel.

maybe they dont all smell like that and i just got really unlucky but i am missing out on so much and discussing the ending of pokemon legend arceus is not seen as spoilers by way too many people. i miss pokemon

i cant just replace the switch

i cant even afford the luxury of sleep for dinner sometimes.

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this joke i accidentally started while insanely sleep deprived

ALPH or alf doesnt really matter

this is so stupid

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a

Q968D-QL3J9-45X8M-8L695

https://www.pirate101.com/home/free_game/friend/Q968D-QL3J9-45X8M-8L695

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a fun thing about having weird animal like tendencies it helps with idecisiveness.

"i dont know what game i want to play"

*thinks of a few games*

*1 of the games i thought of made my leg do a excited twitch*

"looks like i want to play that one"

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b u r d h a t

Hat

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my mind having 2 conversations with itself at once but not really paying attention to either of them. but i know 1 is about pirate101 and the other about the eminence in shadow.

somewhere along the line they kinda mix together an im still not paying attention. but then i hear

"out of all the 7 shadows if the water moles were gonna try sacrificing any of them to the volcano it would be beta. it is the most in character for her"

even tho i dont really understand how its in character for someone to be the most likely to be sacrificed to a volcano, i kinda agree with it????

anyone wanna see my pirate shadow?

ive been told im really good at looking like whatever anime character i want in games :)

i couldnt name him cid or shadow because those names arent available so i went with orion moon because it looked cool.

but the pet is named shadow , thats pretty funny

it doesnt matter how many times people say 'thats really good' and 'i can really see the resemblance' im a perfectionist :( they need to make more shadow lookin stuff to wear

being a perfectionist but i have a problem with my hands makes drawing not fun even tho i like drawing and being creative. if my hands werent constantly trying to do an impression of an earthquake id have even more au shadows

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watch claire. the moment she kinda thinks she recognises cid and then sees as he just casually approaches this plant monster looking guy and "appearance of intimacy" her face reflects so much. they arent even kissin. it just looked like it and claire is judging him hard. hes telling the plant monster a funny joke or something. but normal looking claire doesnt know this deer-plant au cid and assumes hes normal cid but dressing up as a plant monster to befriend a plant monster. claire has to go make a 'sandwich of reevaluated life choices' while alexia needs to go puke in the puke bucket and rose is gonna go help her.

randomly seeing something that looks like theres a whole story behind it is always fun

oh yeahh new au cid. hes a deer but also he got thistle plant stuff going on. no i dont know how many au shadow i have im not good at numbers or counting. what i am good at is imagination.

hyperfixation + high level imagination = more than 50 au versions of this guy :D theres at least 50 im sure. active households has a sim count and i know i also have more in the gallery (at least 5) i havent yet updated since i got better cid stuff

8 of these are pets but ye i still have more than 50 au shadows. some arent even in sims at all too complex looking cant make them

my stupid blurry eyes missed something even better because they are blurry and so i only noticed after my sister pointed it out but it does look more like this than what i said

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one of those cartoons where someone gets scared and jumps into someone arms

this is my dog.

my dog is beautiful.

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because of my strong sense of smell i have no idea what smells are normal to know. for a while now, my armpits been smelling like when bandaids are left on a bug bite for more than a day.

but is that not a normal smell to know of, or is it just google not being good at answering questions???

i have been getting bit by more bugs lately but thats pretty normal for this time of year.

only thing different about this year is the level of sleep deprivation. sleep deprivation can make someone more likely to get sick , but that doesnt narrow it down at all and

i

cant

just

go

to

a

doctor

too frickin far away and im alleregic to somethin in the car

really really bad painful pain just from goin near it.

one time a while ao i had to go somewhere and my mom had to get me completely new shirt to wear that covered me compleely and i still got sick. the smell is also completely unbearable in the car.

when i got back, my sister really wanted me to watch some superman thing with her. my adventures with superman.

i somehow managed to call him sman and thats just what hes called now. that was the only good thing to come from that car ride.

speaking of that superman thing i wonder if that chaotic floating guy will ever show up again. he triggers the same emotions i get when i look at a cat an i want to see him again.

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how did my penguin just get flipped like that?

thats hilarious

my sense of humor's biggest weakness is stuff getting launched. im so sick i shouldnt be laughing this hard but im laughing this hard.

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been growing my hair out even tho i dont really care anything about my appearance. heres a few reasons why

imagine goin out in public lookin like bigfoot hdfbfhgbdfg

i dont care about beauty i just wanna look like bigfoot sometimes

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when sleep deprivation psychosis turn me into shadow so im not scared of the thing monsters but my personality didnt change just because im shadow so i do nonsensical stuff like this because i can

alpha probly be watching like this from somewhere

because im not just shadow im also in that world so alpha or someone could probably be i dont know around? somewhere

idk if that face is disappointed, confused, or concerned but id like to believe its a mix of all 3 in this context.

alpha is so mature and boring and yet i feel like she might have the funniest reaction seeing shadow like that doin a fancy girly tea party with spooky creechurs as guests

being this tired is unpleasant but my imagination is already really powerful even when im not this tired so i trip really hard on tiredness at this level. its such a nice break from reality and being shadow actually helps me sleep a bit better when it happens. comfort character. but i wanna stay there longer . its always so short time.

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i keep hearing crying and whistling and idk if it a ghost or just painful echoings. it hurts tho. if the ghost tryna be scary its gotta use a different method against someone with misophonia

but actually im all chilled tho its unsettling and usually when im depressed this bad theres no fear what the heck is all that i feel unsafe. very unsafe.

depression and pain both block fear most of the time but not right now what the heck???

now i have a headache AND fear. thats unusual