loriarty - Tumblr blog

[loriarty]

[loriarty]

sending your friends terrible tumblr posts is a love language

[loriarty]

[loriarty]

[loriarty]

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

[loriarty]

Unmute !

[loriarty]

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

[loriarty]

Remember when that girl tried to say that firefox was bad because a former CEO was homophobic and I pointed out why that was a terrible take (throwing out the baby [open source non-google web browser with great extensions] with the bathwater [dipshit who left like ten years ago and also developed javascript and i don't see you ditching all sites with java for your principles]) and she went and looked through my posts and tried to call me out for supporting hyperconsumptive capitalism and encouraging anorexia because I'd reblogged a photoset from a runway show and I was like "bitch I don't care about fashion, I've got a latex fetish" and then she blocked me?

That was very funny.

[loriarty]

we desperately need someone to encourage childhood literacy in America again. desperately

[loriarty]

[loriarty]

Singing a new year's song with 爱妃/Ai Fei ("Beloved concubine", a term of address Chinese emperors used for their favorite concubines/consorts)

English added by me :)

[loriarty]

“miss piggy could do better than kermit” and you know what? she probably could! miss piggy is a catch. she’s a businesswoman, supermodel, actor, singer, she knows fucking karate. she’s extraordinarily by all counts. anyone would be happy to have her. but you know what. kermit makes her happy. kermit plays straight man to all of her hilarious endevours. kermit loves her. and she loves kermit. she doesn’t WANT better. she wants KERMIT.

[loriarty]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[loriarty]

“‘What will it matter in 100 years time?’

‘It matters now.’”

~Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

[loriarty]

This is an adorable thing that cardinal couples do. Most birds only feed their young this way but cardinals feed their mates as part of their bonding rituals.

[loriarty]

i hate this place i want to go to build a bear