losttoday

[losttoday]

My favorite nudibranch photos from @kamata_yosuke on ig

[losttoday]

i wish i could yell at you to just forget me already

but I'll shatter if you do

[losttoday]

lost today

should I delete it, forget it

I'm stuck the whole day

mindlessly scrolling, tolling

I'm stuck, lost today

my mind goes astray

who am i

what do i want

im really fucking lost

no emotions

no devotions

what the fuck is wrong with me today

[losttoday]

You know damn well I didn't throw you away

You're saying I'm amazing,

that there's no one like me

but your ryhmes prove otherwise

you threw us away

i try to show you the right way

when someone else told you

what's right and what's wrong

only then you really listened

do you know how worthless

that made me feel???

my advice was nothing to you

just like soap bubbles, suddenly

dissappearing somewhere in the air

yes it was nice, but

falling back into the same old patterns

i realised it's not the time

we can't go on

i thought about giving you another chance

months ago

it was time then,

to start the change

one last chance

I know you're devastated right now

but I can't keep going to your poems

and feeling guilty after a great day

your poems are stunning,

but I feel like the more I read them

the sadder I am, the guiltier I feel

for "throwing" you away

maybe i chose the right path

to leave you alone

so you can truly find yourself

because I really lost myself

maybe you'll understand one day

you'll always have a friend in me

and it's not just blank words,

just don't say I abandoned you

when you tell me otherwise

in real life

i wanted to help you find the right path

and i tried to walk on it with you

but it was so goddamn thorny

and i made a choice

not to bleed every step of the way

maybe you too, should realise...

[losttoday]

i was never the princess

that needed the saving

i was the ferocious warrior

needing a place to rest

by rest I don't mean

to sleep

i wanted to build, rebuild,

to heal, and seal

the darkest of horrors away

but i felt helpless and gray

i needed to quench my thirst

i wanted to have a blooming garden

on that tiny piece of land

in front of our apartment, but...

you couldn't even water the flowers

while I was gone, they were blooming,

I thought you'd remember

how much work I'd put in

but your thoughts were elsewhere

the garden had wilted,

the sight of the dead plants,

scorched from the heat

my will had tilted

see, poems don't come as easy to me

they're spilled from a bottle of ink

everywhere

just like my mind in this sink

that doesn't go anywhere

so many thoughts

but nowhere to put them

I'm reading your songs

you're broken and sad

I'm sorry I put you in this state

but I need a clean slate

you need to find a drive

so you can survive

you'll see you can do just fine

just don't whine, let your words combine

you can shine, be divine

in this life time, at some right time

like a wind chime

but

so many thoughts

and i cannot sleep

i felt unheard, my advice

it was just nothing

just blank words from a youngster

that knew nothing about life

but if you knew

how much blood I've seen

under my skin

red, blue, yellow, black,

you name it

I've learned to listen closely

to everything and anything

silently observing, analysing

books filled with holes,

as if a quiet worm

went through the poles

never-ending story

that was, creating worlds,

fantasy wouldn't suffice me

I'd make all the landscapes

the most magical peoples,

the biggest of the steeples

...

until it all dissappeared

right infront of my eyes

For the quite some time,

i thought, hoped it'd be better,

that your mystical essence

would help me out of the nether

insane dark vortex of thoughts

but my songs just became bitter

the clouds became darker

until my body became sharper

reacted to you as land to a typhoon

i was scared and in June

I didn't know how soon it will perish,

how our relationship left will be in ashes

tried it all but it became just patches,

everything doesn't rhyme,

but if I start writing like i can,

I'll write you a book

that will never end

[losttoday]

[losttoday]

“You sound like you’re certain he’s human.”

“There’s no way I could hate a man-made character string this much.”

“Look at us getting along so well. That’s what makes me love you!”

similar posts: 1, 2, 3

little beast - Richard Siken// art by @velaversal// I know the end - Phoebe Bridgers// cinnamon girl - Lana del Rey// This poem is want - Seema Reza// art from @seukorei// portrait of a blank slate - lovejoy// stormbringer - Kafka Asagiri// the secret history - Donna Tartt// art by @greendy2l// renegade - Taylor swift and big red machine// persuasion - Jane Austen// letters to Sartre - Simone de Beauvoir// art by @lotus-pear// pretty when you cry - Lana del Rey// for memories - wilbur// art by @liyv// Stormbringer - Kafka Asagiri// bite the hand - boygenius// shrike - hozier// Dazai Chuuya age fifteen - Kafka Asagiri// art by @thornedarrow// on a red horse - Marina Tsvetea// think of you - bleached// fragile - Molly Burton// art from dead apple manga// lonely - Natalie Wee// a loving feeling - Mitski// manga panels from Dazai Chuuya age fifteen and Dead apple// good light - Andrea Gibson// the papa and mama dance - Anne Sexton// ruin & rising - Leigh Bardugo// she is made of chalk - L.M. Dorsey// a farewell to arms - Ernest Hemingway// perfume - lovejoy// art by @j11nko// tasting the moon - Caitlyn Slehl// bonjour tristesse - Françoise Sagan// trust - Lucy Dacus// art by @pleucas// opera house / cigarettes after sex// on earth we’re briefly gorgeous - Ocean Vuong// the basket - Willa Cather// art by @pleucas// wanting - Emma Bleker//

tagging moots and some accounts who seemed to really like my other skk webweave, if you want me to untag you no worries just send me a message :)

@amagami-hime @philzokman @vivid-vices @nnavia @dazaiyuri @aelxr @bunglegaydogs @circuslemon @ricelover888 @anneme404 @charlidrawz @gorotic @oatmilkbasic @zamxii @dinosaur-mayonnaise @pendragonstar

[losttoday]

oh god, how much I miss your hands on my thighs

[losttoday]

I don't have time to grieve you

I filled myself with too much work

so I can forget about you

because those eyes of yours

either innocent or devillish

see directly through me

I see now I didn't make a mistake

I had to leave you

and don't take it the wrong way

we learn from our mistakes

you're gonna get better and better

maybe one day I'll be the one

not worthy of you

but for now, all i want for you

is to keep your head up

fall in love with life

keep on smiling like

it's your last day here

and set your soul free

<3

[losttoday]

desired a soul kiss

but my tongue is burnt

bad habits

bad habits

bad habits

suddenly i felt like

a stranger in your car

hugs became looser

eye contact lesser

sparkle faded

high love

crashing fall

destruction on my mind

who are we anymore

call back, call back

no answer

i keep hoping

crying, screaming

but no call back

sleeping, tired

i just want to go home

but I'm hopeless

13.8.

[losttoday]

You've seen the real me, the raw me

Messy morning hair, puffy lips

Child-like dancing and chuckles

why such restraint now

to let us live our lives

you wrote so beautifully

the last time on 18 of July

it's almost a year now

My heart drops, I become silent

I re-read your poetry

Missing becomes yearning

of what it could have been

or what we could be

because in the beginning

when everything is fresh

when you want someone

you'd do everything good

and when time changes all

when the love declines

it comes to a full stop

you stop doing the things

that helped you get

the person in the first place

should, could, would,

all express regret

of actions undone

it makes me feel uneasy

that I'm no longer the

apple of your eye

the apple now is rotten

because you took a bite

and realised it's not worth

to have until the end

i know you think otherwise

but it is how it feels

no energy left

the rut of daily life

has us drained

rent, money, survival

that was not on our minds before

I don't want to back away now

Especially in hard times

But I'd like a flower sometimes

I'd like to see you follow

my body language again,

fall in love with my mind again

listen carefully like you used to

steal a kiss like it's not allowed to

spin me around on the dance floor

like no one's watching

kiss me like it's your last time

hold my face to gaze into my eyes

hug me tightly, pull me close

not everything has to be about us

but i love you so that my heart could break

and even then, I'd adore you

with the last sounding beat

when life would flash before my eyes

I'd know it was you and I

the soul search of lifetimes

let's not get carried away

with our physical bodies

because we've met before

let's try to figure out

how to really love again.

[losttoday]

I want to be yours

in a way that when you gaze into my eyes, you see the whole universe. How sun gently touches my eyes and turns them into golden honey pots, how my skin looks in morning light.

Gently take my hand and spin me around,

like we're dancing in our own world, for eachother, like no one is watching. I want to be the embodiment of your joy, your spark. I want to see how your passion reflects on you as person, how you put effort in your craft and watch it gradually improve.

Let me feel your gaze on my back when I think you're not looking, observe my gestures and how elegantly I move just for your eyes. Notice how my confidence grows day by day, and grow with me.

Be silly with me. Let go.

I want to give in. Completely. I have found my person that I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with.

When our hair gets enchanted with the sparkly gray colours, I want to look back and think; we've done so much, we fulfilled our dreams and we're still living them.

That we have the love we hear about in stories, how we grew together and spent so much quality time together, watched countless sunsets and sunrises together, how we travelled around the world and how it made us feel even closer to eachother.

This is all over the place. But you make me really happy. Let's love like there's no other day in front of us

[losttoday]

Since i met you, the sky started painting itself prettier <3

[losttoday]

steps, steps,

people passing by on the street

languages spoken along the way

in the chilly embrace of the city

birds flying by, making sounds

my cold hands holding books

phones ringing, mixed emotions

different faces, different voices

but

none of them sound like you

i long for you, my love

oh, to smell the fragrance of your hair

to be held gently like a bouquet of flowers

to be kissed like there's honey on my lips

to be caressed like my skin is made of silk

i crave for you, i long for you.

days without you feel like endless weeks

[losttoday]

when you look at me I feel like the whole universe is staring back at me, ever so lovingly

[losttoday]

i never knew this amount of happiness is possible to feel

[losttoday]

you know that feeling when you're happy and take a deep breath in and just hold it there for a second and it just feels so refreshing when you release it.

you're that feeling.