lottienater

[lottienater]

Aftermath (post-canon fun)

She had slept with her best friend.

She had slept with her best friend. Oh Rao oh Rao oh Rao-

Kara tried to steady her breaths, trying not to wake the sleeping Lena that lay in her arms. She had slept with her best friend. She had bathed with her best friend. She had tenderly carried her best friend back to bed where they could fall asleep together. Fuck.

The day before had started like any other day - until a psionic group attacked National City, prompting Kara and Lena to head downtown with Alex and Kelly. The four had been able to capture their attackers, but not before being sprayed by a mysterious substance. A substance that caused… certain primal instincts to spiral out of control.

Brainy quickly determined that the four were in no mortal danger, and the effects would wear off within a few hours. Alex and Kelly quickly shuffled home to enjoy their predicament together, and Kara flew Lena home.

It was on Lena’s balcony that it all went wrong. “Maybe James,” Kara stuttered, trying not to think about how soft Lena’s skin was, “You used to- I almost-”

“Yeah,” Lena said, eyes flickering to Kara’s lips, “That’s- one option…”

Kara wrapped an arm around Lena’s waist as Lena reached up to plant her lips firmly on Kara’s, and the night was lost from there.

Now Kara was awake, holding her naked best friend, remembering every taste and touch, ears ringing with Lena’s gasps and whimpers, not knowing how she’d ever look Lena in the eye again.

Fuck.

---

Lena stirred.

She could see the warm morning light through her closed eyes - an unusual situation, considering her bedroom blinds were normally tightly shut. But she didn’t mind it, nor did she linger on it for long. Her mind instead drifted pleasantly to the memory of the warm body that had been beside her, to how her body felt deliciously sore in a way she hadn’t experienced in a long time-

Oh.

Lena’s eyes fluttered open, glancing to the spot at her side where Kara had been laying. She’s gone…

Lena’s heart ticked upwards as she raised herself up on her elbows, mind scrambling with memories of the previous night. Of Kara’s warmth, of her tenderness. Of the very thorough approach the kryptonian apparently took in bed, leaving Lena’s muscles humming with a pleasant ache. 

But now, Kara wasn’t here.

Lena felt herself flush in shame she tried to brush off. I knew it was only a one-time thing, she thought, as she threw the covers off her bed, it was circumstantial. One dreamy night to accompany her for the lonely ones ahead. She was an adult, she could live with it. Kara just wasn’t interested in her like that, outside of being literally poisoned.

Lena made her way to the kitchen, and managed a small smile at what she saw. Kara had left scones - from Dublin, no doubt - along with a thermos of coffee, setting out a mug in preparation. Lena sat at her kitchen table, opening the thermos, before spotting the note on the other side. 

Kara's planning on coming back soon, Lena thought in relief, thumb passing over the small heart that Kara had signed next to her name. At least we can still be friends, Lena thought, not that she really thought that was at risk. It’ll be awkward, for a bit, but we’ll get through it.

She sipped quietly at her coffee.

---

Kara landed lightly on the balcony.

She could hear the heart inside - already running a little fast - speed up a bit more as her boots touched the concrete. But Lena didn’t turn around. Kara took a slow breath to try to calm her nerves, grateful for the additional space that Lena was giving her to collect her thoughts. Rao, I hope this doesn’t change things.

She opened the door, and stepped through.

Lena turned, throwing a shy smile in Kara’s direction as she stood up, walking over to Kara. “I guess we should talk?” Lena said softly.

“Yeah,” Kara said.

The two stood across from each other, staring, both a little baffled at what to say. Before they both-

“I just-”

“I don’t-”

They paused.

“You can go ahead,” Kara said.

“No,” Lena said, shaking her head, “You can go first.”

Kara glanced at Lena, giving a small sigh. “Alright then,” she murmured, “I love you.”

Lena’s head jerked up, eyes wide. “What?”

“I love you,” Kara said again, her voice tight with nerves, but there was a clarity and certainty in her words. “And I- I know you don’t feel that way about me. But after last night… I think I needed to tell you. That it meant something to me. It was more than a fling. Even with the circumstances-”

“Kara-” “And whatever happens next, I’ll accept it,” Kara said, clasping her hands nervously, “I- I hope we can ignore it. Go back to the way things were. But you needed to know. Last night meant a lot to me. I never intended-”

“I love you too,” Lena said.

Kara’s eyes jerked back towards Lena. “What?”

“I- I love you too, Kara,” Lena said.

“Oh- oh,” Kara said, her eyes widening. “I didn’t- are you sure?”

Lena laughed, stepping closer, reaching for Kara’s hand, which Kara warmly squeezed back. “Yes, I’m sure,” Lena said. “It was- it was more than a fling for me, too.”

Kara grinned, relief and astonishment highlighting her features as she shyly wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist. “We can- we can be together? Really?”

“Really,” Lena said, her eyes dropping to Kara’s lips.

“So that means we get to do that again…” Kara murmured.

“Yes we do,” Lena teased, lips close to Kara’s. “But you’re going to have to be gentle this time. I need to work up to your stamina.” Kara laughed.

But before they could go any further, Kara’s phone began blowing up - texts and news alerts soon followed by a ringing call. Kara’s brow furrowed as she picked up the phone. “Ms. Grant?”

Lena watched as Kara’s eyes widened in confusion. “Yes- I- I’ll talk to Lena.” 

Cat Grant apparently hung up without a goodbye. “What happened?” Lena asked, watching the blush crawl across Kara’s cheeks.

“I- uh- the Daily Planet is having a field day,” she confessed, eyes darting up to Lena’s. “They sorta have photos of us on your balcony last night?”

Lena laughed, arms wrapping around a very nervous Kara. “So Cat wants Catco to have the exclusive on Lena Luthor and Supergirl?”

“Golly, this is not how I thought about asking you out,” Kara said.

“But you thought about it?” Lena murmured.

Kara looked at Lena again, with a tender warmth that drew another smile. “Every day.”

Lena leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Kara’s cheek. “Well, best not to leave Cat waiting,” Lena said, “We can do this. Together.”

“Together,” Kara smiled.

[lottienater]

[lottienater]

Party girl Kara Danvers fic? Just an idea I've been marinating on:

The first time Lena sees her is at a Sigma Chi party.

Lena pushes her way through the house crammed with bodies, hot and suffocating, through a kitchen with sticky counter tops littered with red solo cups and Natty Lite cans, through a sliding glass door that leads to a small back yard packed with even more people, and where the fuck is Andrea she said she’d be here—

Lena stumbles a little as she tries to see what the crowd is gathered around. Her focus is a little blurry, and she really shouldn’t have taken that last shot before leaving the dorm. 

Then she sees her, there in the center of it all, holding a keg stand for what has to be a humanly impossible length of time. The crowd around her is whooping and hollering as she holds herself up unassisted, biceps bulging in her sleeveless shirt, face obscured by her long blonde hair. 

“Holy shit, dude,” a guy to Lena’s right exclaims, “she’s been up there for like a whole fucking minute!”

“Mike’s gonna be pissed!” his buddy chimes in. “She’s fucking smashing his record, bro.”

Lena just watches in some sort of drunken awe. The girl dismounts, rather gracefully, much to Lena’s surprise. And when she’s finally upright and flips her hair out of her face, Lena’s breath catches in her throat. She’s beaming, light and carefree, and not even a little bit flushed from her efforts. Lena’s admiration is cut short as a group of Sigma Chis bum-rushes the girl, hoisting her up in the air, chanting Danvers, Danvers, Danvers! 

“There you are!”

An arm slings around Lena’s shoulders, and Lena looks to her left to find Andrea, who is smiling at her all loose and warm with glassy eyes. Whatever bitchy comments Lena had geared up minutes ago are long forgotten, her attention fully drawn back to the girl who is still being carried around, laughing, loud and melodic, head thrown back, arms out to the side, basking in the celebration. And as if reading Lena’s thoughts, Andrea says:

“Who the fuck is that?”

***

Kara wakes the next morning to a glass of ice-cold water dumped on her head. She bolts upright in bed, sputtering and flailing until her eyes land on the culprit. Her sister, Alex, is standing at her bedside, arms folded tightly across her chest, glass clutched in her right hand, and a scowl etched on her face. 

“What the fuck—!” Kara gasps, wiping water from her eyes to glare at her sister.

“You were supposed to open the shop this morning,” Alex says flatly.

Kara squints against the sunlight spilling through the window. She’s still a little disoriented, the room tilting this way and that as she comes to her senses. “What time is it?” she rasps.

“It’s one in the afternoon.”

“Shit,” Kara hisses.

“The deal was—” Alex starts aggressively picking up clothes strewn all over the bedroom floor, tossing them towards the hamper in the corner, pauses when she finds an empty bottle of Aldebaran rum to shoot Kara a disapproving look— “that you could stay here if you helped with the shop. Instead, you're parading around at frat parties, waking me up when you stumble home at 4 am, and completely shirking all your responsibilities.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara groans, hands coming up to cover her face. Her head is pounding—fucking Aldebaran rum. “Last night was—”

“I know exactly what you were up to last night,” Alex says, “I got videos from five different people of you doing a keg stand—which brings me to another point—” she points an accusing finger in Kara’s direction— “you are supposed to be laying low and not make a fucking spectacle of yourself. If you want to go back to planet hopping from party to party, then be my fucking guest, but if you’re living in my house, then you’re going to follow my rules—” 

“ —Okay!” Kara snaps back, unable to keep her frustration from boiling over because she’s hungover, and she knows she fucked up, and she really doesn’t need a lecture right now. It’s just that yesterday was the day, and she needed to let go. She needed to forget. The truth is she almost did leave last night—almost fucked off to Avalon, Dhor, or Exxor again for a week-long bender—but she kept picturing the look of devastation on Alex’s face if she walked into Kara’s room only to find her missing again after she promised to stay this time. Then she heard a couple of guys at the coffee shop mention the Sigma Chi party. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

Alex’s stance softens a little, but she doesn’t look entirely convinced. She looks out the window, biting at the inside of her cheek. “If you’re really sorry, then you’ll get up, shower because you smell like you rolled around on the floor of a dive bar, and get your ass in the shop to finish out the day.”

“Alright, alright,” Kara huffs, tossing the comforter off and crawling out of her bed. She stumbles a little, and Alex catches her by the wrist.

“I’m worried about you,” Alex says softly. Kara can hear the emotion in it, and it makes her eyes sting, but she just stares at the ground, unable to meet Alex’s gaze.

Kara takes a deep breath.

“There’s nothing to worry about.” She winces when she’s unable to keep her voice from cracking, quickly clears her throat to try to cover it, and makes her way to the bathroom. “I can be ready in twenty minutes.”

[lottienater]

hihihi my dear lottienat in memes (and yes i was so bored i did this again, idk what crack i was on)

(im putting lottie one in here cuz i cant out it in the yj one)

[lottienater]

My favorite fics are when they start to erotically drink each others blood.

[lottienater]

queen of hearts

[lottienater]

thinking about tai and shauna's talk in 1x06 again, where they're talking about nat and all of their lives and tai says "who does she really have? no one" and it's so poignant when you look back on that conversation with the lenses of season 2, knowing that outside that motel room lottie fucking matthews has her cult followers ready to kidnap nat at a moment's notice

who does nat have? she has lottie, whether she knows it or not, whether she wants lottie or not, she has her

you were always its favorite. you were my favorite. made her queen to protect her. took away the crown to protect her. begged her to stay behind and was willing to let her go because that's what nat wanted.

even in death, the person sitting beside her on that plane, the person giving her comfort on that plane, was lottie.

[lottienater]

people not seeing lottienat is so funny to me when lottie canonically spends her whole life desperately trying to keep nat alive and then when nat dies lottie immediately goes "right okay time to ragebait a teenager into killing me"

[lottienater]

people not seeing lottienat is so funny to me when lottie canonically spends her whole life desperately trying to keep nat alive and then when nat dies lottie immediately goes "right okay time to ragebait a teenager into killing me"

[lottienater]

not to be annoying but since lottie is the wilderness's prophet and natalie is supposedly "its favorite" doesnt that kinda inherently solidify lottienat

[lottienater]

canon!

[lottienater]

girl help ao3… it won’t release me

[lottienater]

The “I get shown Nat-Lottie stuff, which is amazing!” thing is still frying me. Like, Courtney, baby, you’re the Head Lottinater, clocking in to perceive every edit and give it your blessing like it’s a 9-5 (much appreciated) and we all *know.* Never change

[lottienater]

Something something nat finally being home (lottie - her acceptance and care) after an exhausting journey

Happy two year anniversary to whatever the fuck this was

[lottienater]

Natalie something catholic scatorccio you will always be greater than the sky to me

everyone sacrificed themselves so nat could make contact. akilah sacrificed her babies and herself so nat could make contact. mari sacrificed herself and died so nat could make contact. misty and van were secretly fixing the phone and working together so nat could get away. they all knew the risks they were taking. in the end, they were all with nat. they all may have not known exactly what the others plan was, but there was some unspoken communication. IM SICKKKK. NATALIE SCATORCCIO YOU ARE SO LOVED (if not by them, by ME)

[lottienater]

Natalie is the only one who never allowed herself even the illusion of normalcy or happiness after the rescue. The others made some attempt—however fragile—to rebuild their lives or blend into the world. Shauna and Melissa retreated into the façade of stability, marrying and raising children in the quiet rhythms of suburban life. Taissa found a family of her own and pursued a successful career as a lawyer and then a politician. Van poured herself into her pop culture passion by creating her video store and allowing herself to live through the past. Misty satisfied her need to be needed through her career as a geriatric nurse. Lottie created her cult (intentional community). Even Travis tried to build a life with someone (before Nat came back in).

But Nat never created anything for herself. She didn’t even let herself have a home, she lived out of motel rooms across the country for her whole life. She remained completely alone apart from toxic stints with Travis that ended disastrously and brief flings that she sabotaged before they could get anywhere.

Even though she’s colder, harsher, and less openly compassionate in the adult timeline, her moral compass is still strong. It's that very sense of right and wrong that condemns her. She can’t accept joy, can’t allow herself peace, because deep down, she believes she forfeited her right to those things in the wilderness. Every chance at connection, every moment of possible happiness, she sabotages—because she’s still carrying the weight of what they did, and she doesn't believe she deserves to ever put it down. While others try to bury the guilt of what they did out there, Nat wears it on her sleeve.

She’s the closest thing to a “savior” or “saint” in this story, but that’s exactly why she suffers the most.

[lottienater]

Dunno if I’m making sense, but I have a gripe with how the writing of season 3 handled the whole connection of Callie to the Wilderness thing. Namely, with Lottie saying it always manifested the strongest in Shauna. That she has this primal thing living in her that is utterly fascinating and that it has apparently passed on to her daughter who-has-never-shown-signs-of-a-connection-to-the-wilderness-beyond-wearing-Jackie’s-clothes.

If that’s true, and Shauna is so deeply intertwined with it, so ready to feed It 25 years later, then why wasn’t Lottie, who lives and breathes by It, insistent on keeping tabs on Shauna the last 2 seasons. In season 2 she almost entirely focused on Nat, which makes sense, Nat is Its favorite. It saved Nat’s life multiple times. By taking from her: It elevated her within the group, It gave her respect, It gave her purpose in her shepherding of the group to survival - away from It. In a way, Nat, as much as she rejected It, thrived in It. She grew, became the embodiment of the resilience required to survive in the face of blood, violence, loss, and deprivation.

So it makes me wonder why now Shauna is supposedly the one in who It allegedly manifested the most deeply. If that was so fascinating to Lottie back then as the writing in that one scene of S3 claims it is now, then why wasn’t Shauna ever chosen by It. Every time It took from her, it only served to drive her deeper into a hole of isolation, rage, and paranoia. There was never a reward for her, only pain. It even took from her a child and there was no reward. Meanwhile, It took lives for Natalie, rewarding her for them. Shauna, like Nat, did thrive in It, but through her most violent urges for which It never showed much favor. At points, It even seems contemptuous of her, eager to sink Its teeth in and trash to see how much It can take off with each bite just for the sake of It.

So if Shauna is Its embodiment, and accepted it so readily, why wasn’t she ever chosen by It? Her “coronation” was but a sham to save Nat’s life. Nat who’d fallen from grace. Nat who kept challenging her by the simple fact of having a heartbeat; by refusing to give into the blood and violence. Nat who by all means and purposes, should have died. Nat who Lottie tried to keep safe even if it meant jeopardizing everyone else by crowning Shauna. Where Shauna nourishes It, Nat starves It. Where Shauna welcomes It, Nat rejects It.

Still, Nat was Its chosen.

Why is Natalie’s rejection favored over Shauna’s nourishing? Why is the favorite, the chosen one by providence of wilderness to guide them despite her refusal to acknowledge It, Its most ardent disbeliever, more important to It than the one who can most easily facilitate Its feeding?

Considering all that and Lottie giving Shauna the same degree of general acknowledgement she gave to all the other women, except Nat who she went through extra lengths to keep safe, last season, and this whole “Callie is connected to It because Shauna is deeply rooted in It and that was fascinating to Lottie always” and using that as an excuse to kill lottie makes no sense to me.