lottiethunderbolt

[lottiethunderbolt]

Hello very much :)

I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.

tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.

This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.

In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.

I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.

Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.

All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.

(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)

[lottiethunderbolt]

Something I never got about Strangers is how some people interpreted it to be entirely about cannibalism and Isaiah? On my first listen, when I didn't know the story behind it, I always thought it was about ethel's mother, Willoughby, and the town she grew up in over anything. She feels like a disappointment, like she made it out of town but never truly left. When she asks 'am I feeling you sick' I believe it is a broader sentiment. Does her situation make her mother feel sick? Does the way she turned out make Willoughby, where ever he is, feel sick? Does her story, the haunting nature of it, make the town sick? Are they disgusted by her? Does she keep them from sleeping? Of course cannibalism is a huge part of strangers, but there's also so much more to it that's hidden beneath the surface. Isaiah is not the only aspect of ethel's story. She is more than Isaiah.

[lottiethunderbolt]

I really wanna know more about ethel cain, her lore and etc but idk where to start pls someone can give me some advices

[lottiethunderbolt]

Toni Morrison on grief

[lottiethunderbolt]

JAVELIN is out today. Thank you for listening. I love you.

This album is dedicated to the light of my life, my beloved partner and best friend Evans Richardson, who passed away in April. He was an absolute gem of a person, full of life, love, laughter, curiosity, integrity, and joy. He was one of those rare and beautiful ones you find only once in a lifetime—precious, impeccable, and absolutely exceptional in every way.

I know relationships can be very difficult sometimes, but it’s always worth it to put in the hard work and care for the ones you love, especially the beautiful ones, who are few and far between. If you happen to find that kind of love, hold it close, hold it tight, savor it, tend to it, and give it everything you’ve got, especially in times of trouble. Be kind, be strong, be patient, be forgiving, be vigorous, be wise, and be yourself. Live every day as if it is your last, with fullness and grace, with reverence and love, with gratitude and joy. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank you. I love you.  XOS

[lottiethunderbolt]

A Gentle End by super-who-locked-me-in-here

[lottiethunderbolt]

HANNIBAL (2013-2015)

IMDB Top 10 Highest-Rated Episodes (insp.)

[lottiethunderbolt]

"All human societies have a conception of the monstrous-feminine,

of what it is about a woman that is shocking,

terrifying,

horrific,

abject."

"Pilot" (Yellowjackets dir. Karyn Kusama) and "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" (an essay by Barbara Creed)

Yellowjackets + Monster Theory 7/?

[lottiethunderbolt]

carly rae jepsen never fails to remind everyone to be in love and to be brave and earnest and horny about it. she gets it.

[lottiethunderbolt]

[lottiethunderbolt]

I thought an old friend hated me now because the last time I saw them at the beach, they and their partner vamoosed very quickly after i showed up. but i ran into them again this week at the beach and risked waving at them, and they were very happy and chatty with me after i'd done that. after a while we were just kinda playing around in the waves and they told me they'd been having a hard time socializing lately. "im so goddamned lonely, dude" they said.

this is an important reminder that my brain fabricates completely ludicrous narratives wherein ive fucked up and lost everybody when it is not even remotely true, and that most people are actually even vastly more socially anxious than me, so i need to get out of my feelings and say hello and be nice, dammit

[lottiethunderbolt]

it wasn’t pretty like the movies

[lottiethunderbolt]

you ever just read something and it’s so wrong it makes you angry?

the girl who never asked to be the leader and who gave the leadership away is addicted to power?

the girl who sits quietly in the corner and only speaks when she’s trying her best to help somebody, who allowed herself to be beaten to within an inch of her life to help somebody else, is self-important?

the girl with a mental illness who was forced cold turkey off some heavy anti psychotics is the most terrifying character?

the only thing lottie has done is introduce the girls to therapy methods. she helped the girls feel the first bit of peace and hope they’d had since the crash. their own trauma is what twisted it into a religion, not lottie.

lottie didn’t ask them to hunt each other. lottie didn’t ask them to worship her. lottie has always just tried to help.

i have a description for you, writer of this piece… hands-down a little bitch

[lottiethunderbolt]

[lottiethunderbolt]

No matter how many times I listen to Ptolemaea (which is a lot tbh), the hairs on the back of my neck will always stand up the final drop into the Stop scream. That whole sequence is so chilling and powerful

[lottiethunderbolt]

maybe, just maybe, it's gonna be okay