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Deception Of Great Kings

BREAKING: Zeus to Claim Throne After Clever Distraction By Rhea

In recent news, sources say that the King of the Gods, Kronos has been involved in a major scandal. Reporters are now saying that this breaking news is a development on a past story, also involving the so-called Great Lord, son of Heaven and Earth. Rhea, wife of Kronos, was reported to have fooled the Great King in a master plan involving her youngest son and a small island full of rocky mountainsides and deep caves (an ideal place for hiding small children from Titans it seems).

Now of course its common knowledge that Kronos is the King of the Gods, everyone and their mother knows that right? But did you know that Kronos had allegedly received news of a prophecy that his son- that’s right his OWN SON- would be the one to finally knock him off is pedestal. His ingenious plan for avoidance of this inevitable was to swallow EACH and EVERY ONE of his children as they were born. Now I know what you’re thinking, what the hell? And trust me, you’re not wrong for thinking that way. Yeah sure Kronos! Go ahead! Swallow every single one of your heirs. That’ll definitely ensure the survival of the bloodline for sure! I don’t see any problems with that whatsoever. Have your wife wrap up each Olympian as they are born, all nice and cosy, just for you to eat them like they’re a mini cupcake at a three year old’s birthday party.

Now sure, theoretically this would stop them from defeating Kronos and taking away his seemingly endless power and control over the universe, but that’s assuming everything goes to plan. And as we know, nothing ever goes smoothly for these guys.

His concerns were also, funnily enough, specifically directed towards his youngest son, our guy Zeus who, to be fair, seems like a strong contender for the whole ‘Ruler of the Universe’ thing. The fact that Kronos himself was the youngest son of his own father, who we know he eventually defeated, may have contributed to this fear. But not to worry, according to new information Rhea (who is, as everyone knows, Kronos’ beautiful bride) has plotted a scheme of her own.

Sources say that Rhea, stricken with grief after seeing what happened to her other children, hatched a plan to not let it happen again. When the time came for her to give birth to Zeus, she quickly decided to make her way to Crete, a small island filled with mountainous geography where she could hide her last child from his cruel father. Allegedly, when Kronos asked Rhea for his newest child so he could eat him and prevent the prophecy, she swaddled a rock in baby cloth, handed it to her husband- and get this- he ACTUALLY ATE IT. Swallowed that rock in its entirety and didn’t even bat an eye. Rhea had gotten away with her plan.

Now turns out the prophecy that Kronos had heard in his past, you know the one that caused this terrible feast of Olympian children, might be true (aren’t they always). Zeus has now grown up after being raised in Crete away from his blissfully unaware father. And I’m no fortune teller or oracle over here, but safe to say this isn’t looking too good for our King of Kings.

Now of course we are all intimately familiar with the age-old story of Kronos’ own act of patricide, so this ‘youngest son is going to take over fathers empire’ thing should not really be a surprise to the ‘Crooked One’, you know? I’m not saying he should’ve seen this trickery coming but, he should’ve seen this coming.

I mean what goes around comes around right? And while saying this is in no way a justification of any acts of mischief, deception, or just straight up murder by the characters in this now dynamic and constantly developing story (of which we will absolutely keep you guys updated) but if we are being honest- who deserves this more than our resident father-killer Kronos?

I mean, come on, what on earth- or should I say heaven- could happen next? I think we can probably make an educated guess right? And I mean it’s not like the future for Zeus could get any crazier either? It’s not like there’s some fire-breathing dragon with a hundred snakes for heads just waiting for the right time or something.

Wouldn’t that be ridiculous.