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lovedbyleeches · 5 years

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How to move out: The beginners guide for living on your own.

I compiled this from a Reddit topic a while back. Thought I’d share it here.

If you notice fruit flies and you don’t have fruit you’ve got a problem on your hands and it needs to be delt with ASAP.

Make sure to clean every day. It doesn’t take long. Just do it. The person you are trying to bang will appreciate a clean house.

Posters make you look like a college kid. Get real art.

You can find cheap furniture on Craigslist but beware of bed bugs.

I once got a microwave and a toaster oven from Salvation army for $10. Salvation army is your friend.

Nobody ever moves in for “just a few weeks”.

Always pay your bills on time.

You can get cheap cleaning supplies at the dollar store. Brooms, buckets, sprays, all of it.

Communication is key if you live with someone. Don’t bottle things up. Talk about what’s bothering you like an adult.

When you do look - CHECK THE WATER PRESSURE!

I had to take baths and wash myself under a trickling bath faucet for a year because I didn’t think to check this on my first place. That being said, I still loved living there.

You will be lonely sometimes. Have “rituals” to give your day structure. Know at least one neighbor - get a phone number. Never lock the door without the key in your hand, especially if you are going running at 6 a.m. in January. Have “emergency kit” - candle, matches, chicken noodle soup, Pepto Bismol, Tylenol, bottled water. Know where your circuit breaker is and how to flip the switch if it trips. Get to know a couple of local shopkeepers - their friendly “hello” will make you feel part of a community until you build your own. Don’t wash darks and whites together in hot water. If you keep your place reasonably neat, you will feel calmer. Start with inexpensive, easy-to-move furniture, but have a bed that you can really sleep on, even if it is on the floor. Have at least one thing that is lovely to look at, even if it is just a cobalt blue water glass. Treat yourself like an adult - you’ll stand up straighter and people will treat you better. Pay your rent on time no matter what. Enjoy!

Really wish I realized how expensive things are. You never think about paying for things like milk, toilet paper, or dish soap. It adds up. To a lot.

A household needs maintenance, and now you’re gonna be doing all of it. Mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, folding your clothes - everything that keeps your house working is going to have to be done by you.

Bad habits are easy to fall into when you don’t have someone harassing you to steer clear of them. Don’t overindulge on your first taste of freedom.

Before you move out of any place that you are renting, make sure to do a walkthrough with the landlord or property manager present to determine how much of your deposit you are getting back. I spent an entire day making sure that an apartment that I had lived in was absolutely spotless, only to be told that I was being charged $300 because I had left the place in terrible condition. Take a video of the place when you first move in and after you move out. Videos are more reliable nowadays. My landlord took a video of the place when he gave us the keys and I did likewise. If I get fucked about I don’t want there to be any argument about shopped pictures.

On a side note, get the landlord’s email. Any time anything is wrong/needs fixing, email him. Establish the paper trail early. For instance if the dryer breaks (if you’re lucky enough to have one), you may be able to start deducting from your rent 30 days past the notification date. If you don’t have it on paper, it’s just your word vs his.

Also, try to get along with the landlord, fix small/cheap shit yourself (under $5), it makes things go so easily when you call them in because you broke the sink. It also means you don’t have to wait for Jose, who, while a lovely person, is completely incompetent and will make it so the stairwell light never works again.

There are more cleaning supplies that you will need and never thought about before if they were always provided by your parents or housemates. Make sure you have a toilet brush, plunger, Clorox spray, disinfecting wipes, dustpan, etc. Having these on hand will save you a lot of grief in the long run.

A pair of Jeans will last a week (or more depending on physical activities), a shirt only lasts one to two days (depending on physical activity during said day), thou shalt not use underwear and socks more than once.

Learn how to turn on a pilot light and the location of them all. One for the oven and a few for the burners. Make sure your gas valve is open when you light them. Also, check them whenever you clean your stovetop to make sure nothing put them out.

Have beer and a deck of cards handy.

Buy a trashcan that has a lid. Your garbage will reek if you’re living alone since you’re not accumulating as much trash and taking it out as often.

Do your fucking dishes! Right now

Keep a detailed grocery list. It will control your spending, and keep you from forgetting things, if you’re a forgetful moron like me. I spent the first few years that I lived alone making repeated trips to the store because I kept forgetting bread/peanut butter/toilet paper, etc. I keep mine in my phone, so I can write down things as I think about them throughout the week.

Do not forget to buy potholders. Let me tell you a little story. I moved into my own place and decided to cook some dinner. So it comes time to pull my delicious smelling casarole out of the oven. I open the oven and than instantly realize what I did not have. I immediately made huge pads out of paper towels and tried using them to no avail, the dutch oven was heavy enough and hot enough to burn right through those puppies. I folded some kitchen towels and scooped my quickly burning food out of the oven. The towels were ruined. If only I had remembered to buy potholders this whole travesty could have been avoided. Don’t let it happen to you.

You’re going to be moving fairly frequently, get no larger than a 46-50" TV or a queen sized mattress. The bigger the shit it, the harder it is to move.

File. Buy a box of file folders and file your papers away. Start with your lease agreement and anything related to the apartment ( any flyers from the landlord/management company, work orders, deposit receipt). Make another file for bills (home phone, internet, cable, electric, gas, water, sewer, trash, any and all bills related to your place of residence). Then another file for your bank (save everything they send you, unless you know its junkmail. Another file for paychecks and work related expenses. Another file for School and school related expenses. Then another for random shit receipts. Another for transportation (car/bus/toll pass). Lastly make a file for your taxes. Over time you’ll figure out the best system for yourself, but that’s the standard breakdown.

Before you rent, ask what the maximum percentage rent can increase yearly. When renting your first place most landlords/complexes do not tell you that when it comes time to renew your lease, if you choose to do so, they can, and often will increase your monthly rent. They usually keep it around the rate of inflation, which is about 3%, but I have had landlords try to jack rent up 10% per month. If the increase is above 4 or 5%, beware.

On your last box of tissues? Get more before it runs out. Always have more. This goes for basically any disposable paper product; napkins, toilet paper, etc.

Wash or change the sheets at least every other week.

Clean the bathroom every week. That place gets dirty quickly, but you don’t see it until you clean it.

Those are the things that stand out to me.

Utilities are PRIVATIZED and no one is going to hold your hand through your move experience, you NEED to call your default retailer for services to be installed and/or switched into your name and I recommend doing this at the very LEAST 1 week before you move in so you can receive a bill and have power/water/gas ON when you move in.

It gets old fast when people move in, have no power, then get IRATE because it cannot be turned on RIGHT THIS SECOND. We’re a power company, not mind readers or miracle workers.

Also, paying for your utilities comes before paying for $500 worth of meat to stock your fridge/freezer, cable/satellite or internet and any fun you might think you need to have. Without power your food will spoil and your T.V./Computer wont turn on. Its common sense.

Always remember that you have options even if you’re only looking for something really cheap, it’s worth it to find the right place. The rest of this is mostly opinion but it was hard-learned:

Lived on the ground floor once, never again. The ground floor is where bugs come from, where thieves come from, where sprinkler water comes from… A window on the ground floor is not a window, you will never open the blinds

No roommate will be as good as no roommate

Paying more to live within walking/biking distance of your workplace or school, and then not owning a car, pays off in a big way.

Be thorough when you look at a place. Check where the windows look out to. Check what the tap water tastes like, and how hot it gets. Check how the floor feels in bare feet. Look behind things. If you’re looking in summer, will the place be freezing(or expensive to heat) in the winter? If you’re looking in the winter, will it be too hot in summer?

As an extension of the above point, know what the internet will be like before you move in. If necessary bring in a laptop with some network analysis tools. Ask what the available options are and do research. If the only option is Comcast’s “fuck you in the ass with an analog dildo” plan, walk on by

Remember when you move in that you are setting patterns you will live by for the foreseeable future. So think about what you do with dishes, laundry, where your shoes go. Make conscious choices of your habits while it’s easier.

Sometimes, living completely alone means you won’t talk to people for a whole weekend. Be careful not to become a hermit! Go to local interest groups or clubs. Stay in contact with friends and family. Invite people over often.

I have never, ever used a rental agency who didn’t completely screw me over on my deposit. Don’t count on getting that money back when you move out, and focus on building a new nest egg.

Cooking for one is boring as shit and you’ll end up eating the same three meals over and over, getting takeout or just not eating if you don’t make some sort of routine of it. Spend an evening every week cooking enough food for the rest of the week and freeze it. Saves you tonnes of time and means you’ll actually be bothered to eat something.

It’s really hard to notice when your house is dirty if you’re the only one who ever sees it. You need to have a good clean up once a week. Imagine your mum is coming over and try to see it through her eyes and you’ll notice things you didn’t see when you weren’t really thinking about it. Consider hiring a cleaner once a fortnight: they’ll see the bits you missed and do things like windows and skirting boards. Also: a cleaner won’t clean if your house is hella messy, so that’s good motivation right there.

Learn basic first aid so that if you hurt yourself at home and nobody is around, you can take care of it. Learn how to self administer the heimlich manoeuvre.

Learn basic DIY type stuff. If your tap is a bit leaky, perhaps you can tighten it up yourself instead of calling a plumber. Likewise if there’s a small hole in your wall, you should be able to fill it in yourself.

White vinegar will clean about 90 per cent of stuff really well. Use it on stains, residues and build ups. It also keeps your house smelling fresh.

Make sure your landlord isn’t sketchy. I’m in a current situation where the guy I’m renting through is very rude and gets angry whenever I call him with a problem. I’m afraid that he’s going to screw me over in the security deposit because he did that to the previous tenant who I got the room from. (100 dollars charged because she used a different shower head) Be sure to establish a paper trail too, take pictures of the apartment and get stuff in writing. Its to protect yourself

While these may not apply to you, I’m especially lazy:

Dishwasher, mandatory. I will never do dishes other wise and it becomes a mess. Especially if you live with roommates. We had so many dishes pile up that the next person in line would spend 3 hours doing the mess. With a dishwasher you can simply load it up as needed, then run it when its stuffed full.

Air Conditioning, mandatory. I had nothing at all to cool it down in a summer heat wave and the computers kept pumping out more heat. I remember just hanging out in my car rather than go inside.

Furniture is fucking retarded expensive. Chances are if you’re not working a real job, you can’t afford to go buy it. Even at Ikea. If you can find anything for free in decent condition, take it. Acquire a collection of crappy furniture, and I"m sure at least one friend/relatives want to offload that piece of shit sofa in their basement. Spending money on furniture is a waste of money.

Also worth nothing, I’ve never met any guy who has given a shit about a dining room set. I eat on a breakfast tray on my sofa or at my desk for every meal. Don’t feel the need to make a home out of some “you should have this” societal obligation. Unless you have a specific need for it, don’t bother with anything that you wont use.

If you’re a full time worker with steady income. Automate paying your bills. Just have them auto pay as they come in. You don’t even have to budget. Just have a cash checking account. Every paycheck dump 100 or 200 into it. That’s your do whatever spending money for lunches, bars, and life. Leave the rest in your direct deposit account and just let it accumulate and pay your bills.

If you prorate your power bill, don’t fucking move at the end of summer. I got slammed with over $1000 in back power usage that had to be closed out in 30 days. In fact if it starts getting out of control, pay extra per month.

The golden rule: Clutter is cool, Filth is bad You don’t have to be a neat freak, but you don’t have to be disgusting. I have random boxes of cords and wiring laying around. Clothes in piles all over the place. Random automotive parts, tools, and accessories just laying in the living room. I’m by no means tidy. But you don’t want to leave old food, dishes, and filth accumulate. Empty your trash, clean your bathroom, and vacuum your floors. Thats really all you need to clean.

Your place is your own, do with it what you will.

When taking possession for the apartment make sure you check all the things they require you to do when you move out. Many times the landlord wants you to wash behind the fridge and stove, wash the walls or repair any items damaged…make sure those are actually done by the previous tenant before signing those papers. If the sink faucet is leaking don’t sign until its fixed. Go through the apartment with a fine tooth comb.

At the bottom of the agreement make sure you note any problems in the suite that are out of spec with those above requirements when you took possession, have the building manager sign your notes and GET A PHOTOCOPY!

This is how they steal your deposit money, you will be surprised how that annotated signed agreement gets “lost” or disappears…don’t give them a reason because they won’t give you a positive renters report to your next landlord if you don’t CYA.

BTW I haven’t met a single apartment landlord that wasn’t a scumbag looking to scam their tenants in some way. My favorite is the parking lot snow removal charge if your car isn’t moved in time when you work nightshift and they slip the note under your door 15 minutes before the plow arrives at noon. Another good one is the “shut your plug off” at your parking spot at night to save electricity and you get out and your block heater has only been on for 10 minutes at 5AM.

Most of all change the deadbolt to your own key, they are supposed to have access to the apartment and have their own keys but they often go in when your not around just to snoop, if that deadbolt is locked with your key and the knob lock is open when you come home you know they tried to gain entrance to your suite without your knowledge.

Always use the deadbolt!

Cars are useful when living alone, get one.

Carpet cleaner and wood floor cleaner or swiffer-like mop if appliccable. 409 Spray works on everything. and cheap glass cleaner (glass plus), kitchen sink sponges yellow with one green side), two towels, two sets of sheets.

get a $10 tool kit with multi-bit screw driver, tape measure, hammer, scisors, Allen wrenches (L-shaped hexagonal pieces of metal)… Also get a level, a stud finder

Get a plunger. Apartment toilets clog easily

Keep a flashlight in your bedroom.

Don’t waste your money on cable, phone line or newspaper/magazines. Just get internet, and a cell phone to connect to the outside world.

Most apartment complexes have pools, these are very expensive/annoying to own, but very easy/fun while renting… enjoy them while they last.

Hang a calendar on the wall with bill/credit card/rent due dates… bonus for laundry day, cleaning day and dishes.

Don’t get a pet just yet. Dogs are very difficult to properly care for in apartments (no litter box) and any pets will limit your ability to go on vacation. Also they will be more destructive when cooped up in an apartment all day.

Turn off all electricity and use less air-conditioning/heating when you are away.

Always lock your door. even when going to the on-site laundry facilities or dumpster to drop off trash.

Ask neighbors about package delivery and what’s the best way to go about it where you want to live. Some apartment complexes let you leave a package at the front office, but then they close early and you can’t get it until they open.

Bicarb (baking soda) and vinegar clean almost anything, including couches, carpets, bathrooms & kitchens.

If you live in a cold climate, don’t live in a place with a sliding glass door. Your heating bills will be incredibly high. Also watch out for large north facing windows, you will freeze your ass off.

In general, trust your gut instincts about your potential landlord(s). If they seem like creeps, or not responsible, they probably aren’t, and you should keep looking. A little bit higher rent is well worth having a good landlord.

As a side note, google your state+landlord tenant handbook. Be aware of your rights and responsibilities as a renter, and deal with your landlord accordingly.

Invest in good tools/gadgets/time savers for everyday tasks.

Keep the place just clean enough but with a few deliberate messy things here and there to reveal something quirky yet attractive about your character for surprise visits from women.

Put at least one bookshelf with your favorites in the living room; don’t make it all about the TV.

Research a little about decoration (I prefer Spartan styles) and don’t center any room around a sports team or video game.

Dusting is so much fucking easier when there isn’t shit out everywhere.

Get a GOOD electric air cleaner and let that sucker work.

Playing music and drinking wine is a great foundation for doing tedious chores.

If you have cats, take extra care on cleaning. People can absolutely smell a full litter box and cat piss. And keep the litter box out of the bathroom if guess will be using it.

I don’t care if you never smoke inside. That shit smell will cling to everything you wear and get into your house anyway.

Make and keep a cleaning kit handy for the apt if you have one and for each floor in a multiple story dwelling

Buy surgical/cleaning gloves (BJs has them in a huge pack). You’ll need them more than you realize and they are great for nasty messes or cleaning since you aren’t worried about sticking your actual fingers into a mess.

Buy shit tons of vinegar and always have limes and ice around. Leaving vinegar around the house in bowls can absorb odor and lime peels/rinds and ice down the garbage disposal (ice first, then limes) will make things smell better.

Snake out/ clean out your drains every few weeks by hand.

Two off the top of my head:

Make sure your stuff will actually fit where you’re going to want it.

Get all your utilities set up before you move in.

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