lovelinehotline

[lovelinehotline]

                           𝔹𝕝𝕦𝕖

                          𝑆𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑢𝑠 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

                                  description:

   Unforgivable heartbreaker. Undeniable player. Absolute ass. Sirius Black was anything but an angel, and, with the help of his friends, his reputation emphasized that. His heart has been set on staying locked in the deep depths of his chest, choosing to lay with any and all girls to keep his fear of being abandoned and heartbroken by that of who he loves, a fear developed after he was left discarded on the side by his parent when  they decided he wasn't good enough to bare their last name anymore. The thrill of one night stands and moments of pleasure with strangers, which helped ease his mind for hours at a time was the only thing keeping him sane through all his endeavors. With one final drunken affair, he unintentionally opened his heart up to one girl bearing the blue and bronze colors of her house.

                                    -

 It was 9:45am when Sirius awoke from from his drunk based slumber, head ponding softly. His face kept a completely neutral expression but he was in absolute pain on the inside. 

  His gaze fell on the empty space beside him, slightly smirking to himself as he watched the  imprint of a feminine body slowly disintegrate. He wondered which house he got lucky with the night before. Maybe a Slytherin? They were always feisty to have in bed. Or a Hufflepuff? It’s true when they say the quiet ones were the nastiest when it came to their sexual endeavors, he would know. A Gryffindor? Always a pleasure to sleep with someone in the same house. Maybe a Ravenclaw? They were way more experienced in bed than they led on. Whichever it may be, he was sure he had one hell of a night.

  He sat up from his sunken place on the bed, his eyes doing a once over to the other boys, who were already shifting around their beds trying to get a couple of extra minutes of sleep. He wondered what the night had lead to after he downed one two many shots of whatever substance the other boys had brought in. Last memory he could recall was a pretty [hair color] Ravenclaw  chatting him up as they both waited their turn to grab another round of drinks. He remembers how she stuck to him most of the night, dancing around him, laughing at his obscene jokes, and just overall keeping him company as they drank down cup after cup of any alcoholic drink they could get their hands on. He remembers her soft [skin color] skin glistening in the candle lit room and her gentle laugh as they bantered with each other. He wondered if she was the one who's imprint was fading away, leaving nothing but a sweet memory he was trying to recollect.

 He gave a small stretch before getting out of bed, giving his stomach a little rub.

 “Good morning boys, I assume everyone had a good night.” Sirius spoke into the quiet room, the smirk that graced his lips never once leaving its place.

 The others sat up from their places, glancing at each other briefly before looking over at Sirius.

 “Sirius, are you,” Remus paused before slowly exhaling,”okay?”

 “Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I scored with another lady didn't I?” He let out a little laugh.  The rest of the boys stayed quiet as they gave each other another glance.

 “Are you guys okay? You’re acting strange this morning.” The black haired boy gave a little frown.

 Remus had a pleading look on his face as he stared into James’ eyes. James, on the other hand, had a stern look on his face. Both their expressions told a story that made Sirius think that maybe he didn't want to know what they were saying in their silent exchange.

 “Pads.” James started his voice barely above a whisper.

 “What?” Sirius was starting to grow impatient. Why were they suddenly acting in such a manor? As if they didn't just throw the party of the century last night.

 “When we came into the room,” James averted his gaze towards his hands for a second before maintaining eye contact with his best friend.”You were curled up against that one Ravenclaw girl, what’s her name?” 

“[Name.]” Remus quickly spoke.

 “Yeah, her, um I mean you were more in a fetal position if I’m being honest.”

 Sirius narrowed his eyes in confusion, his gaze never leaving James.

 “And you were,” Remus gave another pause before cautiously continuing his sentence,” sobbing and she was cradling you as you were clinging onto her sweater.”

 There was a moment of silence, one that was deafening for everyone in the dorm.

 “This is a joke right? None of you can be serious right now. Prongs, please tell me you guys are pranking me.”

 James’ eyes became somber as he ran his hands through his hair.

 “You, uh. You wouldn't let her leave. When she thought you were asleep, she got up, or more like she tried to at least,” James gave a low breathless laugh,”you would grip her harder and you would start to sob again until she laid back down.’

 “And you wouldn’t stop sobbing until she ran her finger through your hair. She was barley able to leave thirty-two minutes ago. She wanted to make sure you were calm before she headed out.” Remus continued.

 Sirius sat there, barley able to register the inform that was placed in front of him.

 “Do any of you know why I was crying?” 

 “No, we were trying to figure it out but [name] kept dodging the question. She just said that it was on a personal level and left it at that.” James spoke once more.  “Great, just what I needed, getting all close and personal with a girl I barely know.” Sirius had a deep look on his face trying to distinguish his memories from the past 12 hours. How did he get so emotional with someone in just a matter of hours of knowing them.

 “Maybe,”Remus spoke up breaking Sirius from his thought process,” this is a sign that you should stop sleeping around and start confronting what’s bothering you head on. Face your fears head on.”

 Sirius shook his head, letting out a little snort.”I have no idea what you’re taking about, moony.”

 “Yes you do,” Remus shook his head,” If you want, I can ask [name] to meet up with you so you can find out what you talked about. I have her in potions, I’m sure she’ll agree to it.”

 Sirius felt his face pale.

 He couldn’t be serious. Meet up with the girl who he was so clingy with and let himself show all signs of weakness  near? Remus was crazy to think he would agree to such a thing.

 “No.”Sirius said in a firm voice.

 “Come on it can't be that ba-”

 “I said no. I’ll figure it out myself.” Sirius stated, cutting off James.

 “Fine.” Huffed the boy with glasses

 During the course of his day, Sirius couldn't help but wonder about the female who would occupy his mind in the notion of small flashes. It annoyed him that he didn't remember much. 

 What could he have told her?

It was eating him up alive.

 At some point he wondered if he should take Remus up on his offer, but then decided against it when he realized he wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes, especially if he had shared too much into his past.

 He was sitting in the common room with James and Remus when he saw her, their eyes meeting across the room. In that moment he remembered all the emotions he felt the night before. He didn't understand the new wave of feelings that had overcome him, but it scared him beyond belief.

 She let out a small smile in his direction, making her way towards him.

 “shit.” Sirius quickly pushed passed everyone in his way and rushed out the room, speeding down the hall to his dorm, leaving [name] standing in the middle of the common room, confused over his reaction.

 “What just happened.” Her gaze moved over to James, who was bitting back his laughter, and Remus, who gave her a gentle smile with a gaze to match.

 “Don’t worry about him, he's been out of it all day.”

 “It’s not because of last night, is it? I promise I didn't say a word,” She frowned,”or was it something I did? Is he upset I left this morning?” She bit her lip as she continued.

 “[name], I can promise you that whatever is going on in that head of his, it’s not your fault.” Remus assured her.

 “At least not until he woke up this morning and realized that instead of being inside you,  you were inside his head.” James smirked.

Remus slammed his hand against the back of James head, a loud sound echoing through the common room.

 “ Ow! What the hell was that for?!”James raised his voice, rubbing the numbing pain that was stinging the back of his head.

 “It’s for not being of any help.” Remus glared before turning back around to face [name] who adorned a guilt ridden face.

 “I-I didn’t mean to, we were kissing and then he stopped, I thought he was going to puke so I tried grabbing for something, anything, that he could use to throw up in but he ended up wrapping his arms around my waist and crying into my back. I didn't know what to do so I just laid there trying to comfort him as best as I could and that’s when he started taking about his life. I didn't mean any harm.”

 “I think he's just embarrassed.” Remus said.

 “Embarrassed? Embarrassed about what?” She frowned once more.

 “Letting himself become vulnerable with a girl he barely knows.” James said back.

 She stayed quiet, slowly nodding her head. She wasn't sure what she should do next. Should she Just walk back to her dorm and pretend none of this happened? Should she try to talk to him and ease his worries? Should she give him some space and then try to talk to him when she was sure he was less then embarrassed to be around her? All she knew is that she didn't like her first option. She liked the Sirius Black who confided in her, the Sirius Black who clung to her and wouldn't let her out of his grip. She knew his reputation and as a friend she would happily settle because he was just a boy who needed someone to confide in. Yeah he had his other friends but being so opposed to letting himself become romantically loved was what was keeping him in that bubble of his, and it was slowly tearing him apart without him ever realizing it.

 She saw him in a different light after that night and there was no way she was going to let him go back to hiding in that bad boy with no emotions shell of his.

 She wrapped her arms around her waist and gave a silent sigh.

 “Do you,” she stayed silent for a second before continuing,”do you guys think I should go after him and see how he’s doing?”

 “Not really,” James replied, shrugging his shoulders.

 “Um, give him some space, and maybe sometime to get his head on straight.” Remus replied, leaning into the couch under him.

 [name] leaned her body into the soles of her feet as her features turned into a tiny frown.

 “Okay, would you let me know how he's doing later? I’m concerned about him.”

 “Yeah, we got you.”James gave a small smile,”We’ll let you know as soon as we figure something out.”

 “Alright, thank you,”The [hair color] female nodded her head slightly,”Thank you.”

 She turned herself around and walked towards her friends, who were all waiting for her on the other side of the room.

 “What was his problem?” One friend whispered.

“We told you he was only going to be in it for the night.” Another one stated.

She only nodded her head and changed the subject to something she recollected her friend bragging about earlier that day.

 The rest of the day was spent with Sirius trying to avoid the girl. His thought process was something not even his best of friends could understand. He was on edge with every turn of a corner and every drop of a pin.

 “Sirius, you look like a lunatic,” Remus said as he placed a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder,”You need to calm down a bit.”

  Sirius pressed his lips together, unsure on how to reply to his dear friend.

 “She isn't going to hurt you, you should try talking to her. I mean at least then you can figure out what the hell was said to her.” James piped in.

 Sirius shook his head, still as hard headed as ever.”No.”

 His friends only nodded and continued on, talking about something he couldn't quit recall.

 Later the next day, Sirius sat with his friends at the lunch table, deciding on the next big bash they were going to throw. Tho his head wasn't a hundred precent locked into the conversation.

 No, it was locked on the girl way ahead of him, laughing with her friend. All that went through his head as he stared at her were three questions; 

‘How much does she know?’

‘What goes through her mind when she looks at him?’

‘Does she see him differently? 

But no matter how much the questions were nagging at the back of his head, he wasn't going to allow himself the chance to figure it out, no, he was just going to pretend that it never happened and hope that it eventually simmers away at some point. Hell, he’ll avoid the problem even if it meant ignoring that pretty little Ravenclaw who probably did some magic spell to cause him to become as vulnerable as he had.

Though [name] was a little more adamant about talking to him about what happened, but she decide to give him some space to get his emotions in order.

For now, at least.

She’ll try again in a couple of weeks, though even then she would assume that everything he had told her two nights prier would take more than a couple of weeks to heal from, but she had hope she could help in that healing process.

 And as per usual another party happened, [name] was in the corner talking to her friends with a drink in her hand when she saw the one boy she had been waiting to arrive. Well she hopes at least. She had more drinks than she had hoped to drink, so when she saw a figure that looked like said boy, she had marched over to him, head high and chess puffed out to show that she meant business.

 Sirius, on the other hand, watched as the [hair color] stumbled around trying to get to some guy he's seen around school.

 An amused smirk was imprinted on his lips as he saw her eyes widen and face pale out, rushing back to her friends as they all laughed at her.

 “You want another drink?” A voice shouted next to him.

 Sirius simply nodded and leaned further into the couch hidden in the opposite side of the room from the girl.

 He found it entertaining to watch her as she searched for him. It made him feel like he was wanted by more than just his friends, and that for some reason made him feel warm inside.

 He grabbed the drink that was shoved in front of him, bringing the cup to his lips as his eyes peered over the rim, eyes still locked on the girl.

 As the night progressed, some of the students had decided it was time to head back, holding onto their friends who lazily hanged off of them, stumbling every once in a while trying to maintain their balance. The music had lowered to a barely audible volume allowing the mixed mumbling of conversations amongst the groups of students to fill the air.

 [name] was sat, spaced out, on the floor with her back against a wall, her eighth drink in hand and hardly any liquid left in it. Her friends were off to the side speaking a mumbled conversation that was barely reaching her ears. Her mind was swirling with thoughts of the dark hard boy she so desperately tried confronting in her drunken state. She wasn’t sure if she was upset or just hurt that he was avoiding her like the plague. Either way, she just wanted to talk to him, to sort it all out, to find out why he wouldn't even look at her direction.

 All she wanted to do was prove to her friends that he wasn't as bad as everyone made him out to be. That he was a sweet, kind hearted person, like the boy she had talk to while he was in a drunken state of mind. But now she feels like maybe there was some truth to what was being thrown around about said boy. With tear glazed eye, she abruptly stood up, no long wanting to be around anyone that wasn't herself. She stumbled her way towards her friends with the plaidtic cup clutched to her hand.

 “Hey, [name] are you okay?” One friend asked.

 The others stared at her, waiting for an answer. The [hair color] girl looked to the floor before her eyes met with her friend’s once more. She wasn't fully sure if that was a question she wanted to answer at that moment. She sucked in her lower lip, chewing on it slightly as she carefully considered every sentence possible that would keep them from suspecting what they already knew.

 “Yeah I have a massive migraine, I think it might have been the drink.” She swayed a little while giving out her response.

 “Oh, did you want me to come with you? You don't look well enough to leave by yourself.” Another friend asked.

 [name] shook her head,”It’s fine,” She gave a small smile,”I think I just need some time to myself.” 

 Sirius watched as the Ravenclaw disappeared behind the door, eyes glued to the slowly closing door 

 He mentally debated wether to follow her, but he kept himself back, worry and anxiety bubbling up in his mind about where the conversation might lead to. Confrontation? Arguments? He couldn't handle that right now. Especially at the risk that he most likely would have to fight his inner demons. He couldn’t do that to himself. Not right now.

 He looked at the empty cup in her hand, watching the few drops of liquid  collect at the angle he was hold it in. 

 “Man you look like you need another drink!” James bellowed, slapping Sirius on the shoulder.

 Sirius gave a small smirk, shaking his head,”I’m good, think I should head back.”

 “Oh come on, we’re just getting started. Let’s have one more round.”

 “Okay, fine. Just one more round then I'm heading back.” Sirius grabbed the drink in James’ hand, throwing his head back and downing most of its contents.

 [name] wondered the halls of the school, her drunken mind racing with thoughts that she shouldn't be thinking with such a fragile state of mind.

 She raised her hand and let it grace against the walls of the school as she continued forward. She had decided on heading outdoors and enjoying the cool air of the night, that should be able to clear her mind a bit, or at least she had hoped so.

 She gently pushed open the doors that led to the back of the school. She tugged her sweater to her frame as the chill of the night caressed her soft skin.

 Never once did she ever think that she would be the one to end up in such a complicated situation, at least not herself out of her group of friends. Her main problem was always trying to see the good in people no matter what reputation life brought them. There’s always a tragic story behind every face no matter how small or how big the situation is to others around them. You truly never realized what someone is going through until it's too late.

 She ran her hands through the back fabric of her skirt as she came to a stop in front of an inviting pond, choosing to sit and contemplate her life in peaceful silence, by herself.

 Or so she hoped.

 As she sat there spaced out in her own world, a body came crashing down beside her, slightly knocking into her side as they adjusted themselves.

 Her slight scare turned into bewilderment and then soon replaced with irritation and sadness. The one person she was hoping to get away from after searching all night for was sitting right next to her in silence, eyes fixated on the body of water before them. She had scooted herself slightly away from the person and hugged her arms around her legs and brought her chin to lay onto her knees. The sound of the wind blowing gently was the only thing that filled her ears during the silence that surrounded the both of them.

 Sirius had no idea how to proceed, if anything his ears were red and his heart was pounding too fast for him to comprehend.He was scared to look her in the eyes, afraid of what she might think of him after everything, afraid that he would say more than he should.

 He cleared his throat while rubbing his hands together, hoping the friction would create warmth.

 “I’m sorry.” He stated, his voice amplified but the wind.

 [name] simply nodded her head, eyes staring ahead. She was afraid that all she had been building up inside of her would come pouring out of her like an erupting volcano.

 A single moment filled with silence passed as they both observed each others energy. It was like they both had so much to say but nothing to speak of at the same time.

 “I-, um. I’m sorry for treating you the way that I did. Those things I told you about are things that I don't like others to know about. I don't want to feel judged by those who don't know me based on my situation, because no one truly knows the little details, or how it affects me, just the things that lay at the surface. I was scared you would judge me, or worse, use it against me in some way.”

 [name] shook her head slightly and moved to meet his teary eyed gaze. Her heart was thumping just as hard as his was.She gave her lip a small nibble before proceeding to chose her next words carefully.

 “I’m not angry, I'm just upset that you would do anything but talk to me. I promise I’m not a scary person to talk to. I just wanted to get to know you.”

 “Why?”

 “I don't really don't know, I guess I wanted to see what everyone as so interested in. People would whisper about you when you walked down the hall, some absurd things, but I didn't think you could be so bad, so I approached you to see if I can get a feel about who you could be. You were really drunk and so I took you to your room so you wouldn't be left around all those people in your condition. I never once judged you, I never could, but I'm sorry if I ever did make you feel that way, it wasn't my intention.”

 The black haired boy stayed silent, processing the words that had just left her lips.

“You defiantly gave me a thought and a notion.” He gave her a small smile.

 She smiled back at him. Her heart felt filled, She couldn't understand the happiness that cursed through her body as she stared at him.

 “You really played with my heart and emotions,” She stated, laying her her legs out in front of her.

 He gave her a little smirk,”How about I give you love and devotion?”

 She rolled her eyes and laughed.”Please no mr. heartbreaker with me, Ive had enough of that for a whole year.”

 He stared at her, examining her feature slowly, afraid to break his gaze from her soft skin.

He scooted closer to her, they're hands barely touching as he brought his lips to her ear.

 “Would you eventually love me blue?” He whispered, his hot breath hitting the base of her ear, He turned his face to look into her eyes, their noses slightly touching.

 “Eventually.”

Note; I’ve had this in my drafts for a while and decided to finish it up real quick and post it. Please don't come for my neck if anything in the story doesn't line up with the movie, even details I just started watching them and felt like making this. Enjoy!