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I thought you loved me and cared for me but obviously I was really wrong. Because no person who loves someone would ever do anything to hurt that person let alone tell them that they are a monster and they are f~~~~~ up. You never loved me. you just enjoyed breaking me piece by piece. you kept throwing the past in my face when I was trying so hard to forget and forgive. you lied each day. you told me you loved me while you loved another. you are nothing but a soulless cruel person. I stayed up hours for you even though I had class the next day. I stayed up for hours when you fought with your mum, I made sure u were okay and I didn't leave when you practically broke my heart and soul. then you had the guts to say that no one supported you. I gave you the last few months. I love you with all my heart but I will not sit here and allow you to do the same to me than everyone else. you will no longer use me as a punching bag or your little ego boost. you will no longer get to hurt me and swear at me when I am giving you all I have. you will, in fact, never again get to tell me that I am a monster. if that is the case in your eyes, why should I apologize for being a 'monster' as you say, if no one has said sorry for making me this way. I am a strong girl and I don't deserve your bullshit. I don't want to hurt you back because that's not who I am and I do not want to be anything like you. I wish you all the best and all the love and happiness there possibly is in this world. I will always love you but I will also love myself and respect myself enough to walk away from what is hurting me. you are not a bad person and you are not a coward. but you are cruel to me. you abuse me with your words. you confuse me with your moods and for that (and the countless hours I cried for you) I will walk away and I will not look back. I will not answer your calls or texts and I will not listen to your abusive words anymore. and yes this is about me because I don't want to live my life stuck in a room waiting for you to maybe be nice to me or prepare myself to be broken down again. I will not live my life as your punching bag. I deserve happiness too and I thought you gave me that until you broke my heart and blamed it on me. im not the reason you are who you are. that is all you. so enjoy your ways of life and I will make a success of mine. may our paths never cross again.
GOODBYE MY BOO
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I just miss you... I have no words to describe... I just... I just miss you.... there's no life without you my love...
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I can't see myself being down with anyone but you
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The words I never had the courage to say
You are the only thing I want in this life.. I hate being without you... It kills me to go a day without you and I've always wondered how to say 'I love you'... For a long time I struggled to let you in because I found you so profoundly amazing. I was scared of not being good enough because all my life I've been used and broken down and I never knew what I was worth. It scared me when you loved me even after seeing my dark side and my most broken self. When you stayed while I was hurting you I felt bad and believed I didn't deserve you and I pushed you away, I pushed away my only treasure in life because I didn't believe I was worthy to hold it or even look at it. I know I hurt you but I will spend the rest of my days trying to make up for it and I will do my best to show you the love that I finally allowed myself to have for you. You loved me when I couldn't love myself and you saved me from a path of loneliness and self destruction and I can never thank you enough... I never knew how to open up or share my hurt with anyone before, but I'm glad I allowed you to climb my high walls... Thank you for being this amazing and wonderful man you are, I am honored to be able to know you and love you and make you smile... I really do see my future with you, and only you. I never want to be away from you because you are my better half... I might be young but I know what I have and I will appreciate you for the rest of my life... I love you Boo...
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i’m afraid to admit just how much you mean to me. letting you in, learning to trust again is so hard. after isolating myself for so long, i’ve forgotten how to lower my walls. but please don’t give up on me. i want you, really i do. the fear is always there though, caught in the back of my mind. the threat of heartbreak is forever an option. and there is no escaping it.
j.e.b. ((i want to open up to you, but i can’t.))
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