lover-of-mine

[lover-of-mine]

[lover-of-mine]

Danny to Steve's literal girlfriend: how's my boy?

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, hi, hello, I was making an edit and I ended up noticing a repetition of patterns and then I started thinking about this meta by @stagefoureddiediaz (🫶) about the pinstripes with Buck now I'm here.

My thing right now is about this.

When I made the big post about the callbacks in 817, the similarities in instances Buck was wearing this powder blue color were in the back of my mind, but I didn't get it yet. I even wrote a post about it, but I think I have more to say because I was focusing too much on the grey of this color and it was stopping me from seeing the blue.

Moments I mentioned before were around his arc in season 6. The search for deeper meaning and the way Buck keeps externalizing that in the hopes that it will fix him.

Like 602 when he's asking Hen about the secret of happiness, or when we find out that Kameron is pregnant in 609.

But something I neglected paying attention to when saying that the conversation Buck has with Pepa is calling back to 612 when Buck expects Eddie to have the answers, is the way that Buck is also in this powder blue type color when he's at the doctor's at the end of the episode and gets a clean bill of health, when he goes to McArthur Park again, and when he talks to Maddie about the hoovering.

And same as the 817, in 612, it seems like they took advantage of the way the shirt is lost between being blue or grey depending on lighting, to put Buck in that in-between space where he doesn't know where his life is going from there.

It comes back to the way Buck forces himself to move past things and ends up hurting himself and the people around him in his tendency to assume everyone else knows better and he is a burden. He wouldn't talk to people about how death messed him up, he wouldn't talk to people about how losing Bobby messed him up, because at Buck's core he is terrified of life-changing things actually changing his life. So he refuses to ask for the things that will help him adjust and it usually ends up with him going on a tangent that gets him away from the path of actually figuring out what makes him happy. Being a sperm donor? Didn't fix him. Dying? Didn't fix him.

Okay, but why did I bring up Kym's meta?

Kym explains the way that Buck is in a light colored pinstriped shirt when the life-changing thing happens. The shooting, when Taylor moves in, when he decides he's happy with the chair, the coma dream, and the coffee date. The thing here is the play with the way Buck is seeing things clearer in these moments, and it would lead to significant moments where he learns more about himself and his journey. (Kym explains it all, please read her meta lol)

But these moments have a darker shirt counterpart, that is harming his personal growth. Jumping into a relationship with Taylor, the awkward I love you that leads to the mess their relationship becomes, when he agrees to be a sperm donor that harmed him in many ways, the first date with Tommy, the 710 date with Tommy, and I think in some ways also the glee speech shirt, because those come back to the way Buck is projecting this idea that being with man will fix him.

It's when he stirs away from that clarity and keeps creating these obstacles so he won't see what he actually wants from life. Yes, the path here leads to Eddie and Christopher, these stir him away from that. From accepting his role as a parent and from seeing that he's in love with Eddie.

So now we circle back to the blue and yellow of it all. One of the blue and yellow scenes we have is the couch conversation in 601. And Buck is in a pinstripe powder blue.

This is the shirt that forces Buck to reflect and leads him to the realization that he needs to be happy in his own skin. In a similar way that the powder blue is trying to evoke in other moments it comes up.

Kym and I have been talking for ages about Buck and the search of blue and the way that we will know that Buck will get it right in a shade of blue. That shade of blue was presented to us during the coming out scene, another heavily blue and yellow scene.

But in a similar way that the clarity of pinstripes has counterparts where Buck moves away from the goal, I'm starting to think that the powder blue of facing the issue has the grey of hiding behind it. And it all adds up to the pinstripes and the color game they play with the blue.

The clarity from the shooting is the parenting clarity that he needs to step up for Christopher as a parent, which is reflected in the parenting maroon when Buck talks to Chris. (meta on the blue and red and parenting here)

That has as counterpart the 409 "i'm your friend grey" from when Chris runs to Buck. And this combo also establishes that Buck's relationship with Chris needs to exist outside of Eddie. Because, yes, the 3 of them have their dynamic, but all the sides need to exist individually in their family to fully establish it.

That comes back in s6 both in 613 when Buck is taking a casual parenting role with Chris and the cookies but not really acknowledging that's something he wants amid the donor baby plot, since Chris is the answer for that dilemma AND during the birth scene where he is still not acknowledging the consequences what being a donor parent would do to him and he wants.

The greys also shows up with the clarity from the coma dream, that needs to live for himself, because both in the hospital after he wakes up, and in Eddie's place, he knows what's happening fundamentally changed him, but he is hiding behind what happened so he won't be forced to get the answers himself even thought that was the whole point of the coma dream.

And this plays out in an interesting way with the ambiguity of the powder blue showing up now, especially when considering the clarity that Buck is being forced into by Bobby's death. Various shades of blue have been tied to Buck's s7-8 arc but coming back to this particular shade without the Buck hiding aspect it's interesting when considering that the first time this blue comes into play is when Buck is literally observing the thing he wants the most for the first time aka 203 after the earthquake.

But also because this leads to the red jacket this time. (more detailed meta on this jacket)

Yes, it's a more orange tone than we are used to, but it comes back to 2 major moments. 208 and Buck deciding to actively figure out what he wants and needs from love.

And 518 when he actually defines it.

The thing with Buck is that he constantly ends up passive in his own love life. He takes only what's offered to him, sometimes at the expense of actually chipping away bits of himself and being okay avoiding the problems forever. But the red jacket/white shirt combo is directly connected to "you don't find it, son, you make it" and the way that Buck is very much aware of the way he needs to fight for it but has no idea of how. And it's interesting that it both leads to him having that "I wanna take it easy to see what can happen" that leads him to Ali and it ends up blowing up when the dude jumps like always does and gets the loft because Ali needs a place to stay and to realizing that he can't force it to happen as much as he wants it.

And the way this is showing up when Buck is moving out is making me go 👀 because this shows up when he's very much aware of the root of the issue he's having, but he goes nuclear to fix it since he works in extremes.

This is a very long winded way to say I'm very interested on seeing if the whole Buck moving out thing is gonna pick back up with Buck backsliding into the extreme and hiding from is wants, or if the red is an indicator that Buck does know what he wants (Eddie and Chris) but thinks he can't get it, so he's running from the temptation before it can catch up to him.

Anyway, if you read this, I love you 💜

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Blue and Green my most beloved.

[lover-of-mine]

Ali, girl, what you doing here?

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Blue and Green my most beloved.

[lover-of-mine]

I lose 5 years of my life every time someone tags my buddie posts with destiel.

[lover-of-mine]

Not Catherine inviting Steve to the game and Steve saying he's going with Danny. Lord HELP ME.

[lover-of-mine]

While the idea that Kane got traded for a gummy bear and half a sandwich is endlessly funny, the nucks do not need his energy.

[lover-of-mine]

god eddie really just haunted buck and tommy’s relationship like a ghost it’s so fucking funny like why are you in his hospital room king?? every time tommy walks into a room it’s an eddie jump scare and im imagining tommy is like “wtf how is this guy always 800 steps ahead of me all nonchalant” and meanwhile eddie thinks this behavior is completely normal freak4freak for real

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Blue and Green my most beloved.

[lover-of-mine]

Hey fucking ai overview, maybe, just maybe, that means the song you're saying isn't the one I fucking want.

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Blue and Green my most beloved.

[lover-of-mine]

song: Worst in Me by Julia Michaels

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie in Every Episode:

6x13 - “Mixed Feelings”

[lover-of-mine]

Song: where do we go now? Live on Vevo by Gracie Abrams

[lover-of-mine]

Song: thank me later by KINGS