lovethisbug

[lovethisbug]

**Post-Credits Scene:**

The screen fades in on the abandoned cyber lair, now silent except for the low hum of the supercomputer. The camera pans past the empty chair, scattered monitors flickering with static, until it settles on the giant brain in its tank. Bubbles rise suddenly from the base of the tank, and the brain pulses with a sinister magenta glow. The supercomputer whirs to life, typing out a message on every screen:

**“PHASE ONE: MONARCHY DISMANTLED. INITIATING PHASE TWO: UPLOADING BRAINWORLD.EXE TO GLOBAL NETWORK…”**

A mechanical arm emerges from the shadows, plugging a cable into the brain’s tank. The words **“ALL HAIL THE OVERMIND”** flash ominously as the sound of maniacal, digitized laughter echoes through the lair.

Cut to the Thames River, where the soggy Queen and King cling to a floating teacup. “This isn’t over, Reginald!” the Queen snarls, wringing out her crown. “We’ll reclaim the throne… *with* **fireplace insurance**!” The King nods, pulling a waterlogged raven from his sleeve that croaks weakly, “Nevermore… tea?”

**Fade to black. A title card pops up: “BUGE WILL RETURN IN… *CHIMNEY SWEEP SHOWDOWN: BRAINS, BROOMS, AND BISCUITS*.”**

*(Queue a jaunty remix of “Rule Britannia”)

[lovethisbug]

When I was a baby, in the year 90s, I really wanted a laptop computer, which were new at the time, and i wanted it so bad, I even had a very vivid dream that I had found one of the ground on the green tiled arched hallways of a subway station, the moment I picked it up I knew what it was capable of, I could pull retractable cords from it and plug them into objects around me and unlock their deeper potential, the first thing I plugged a cord into was the wall and it opened up a pathway to a secret room, a habitable this room was hidden in the walls and had everything one needed to survive in it, completely sealed away from average society, I then used the laptop to summon a train car to take me down a secret tunnel, as was fashion, which stopped at a platform that I would say seemed to be about a 20x20 space, all green tiled like the hallways I came from, no doors or pathways, once again the laptop comes in handy, I plug it into the wall and a yawning gap opened up, revealing all the metabolic systems of the city around me, pipes, wires, other stuff, at the end of this newly formed hallway was a room much like the Plato ram, standing in the middle of that room was Buge, 4ft tall and stalwart, wearing a leather duster jacket and sunglasses that dont have stems going around the ear they are just sunglasses that stick to the eyes as if they are floating or maybe they slip onto the nose which seems kind of uncomfortable and unnecessary but cool nonetheless, Buge holds out a blue pill and a red pill and tells me to pick a pill, I say which pill does which, Buge is silent for a long time, a very long time, and finally says the red one will definitely work and the blue one will make you forget you ever met Buge and found that laptop, before I can even make up my mind my baby alarm goes off, I woke up and showered and dressed myself and slicked my hair to the side in front of the mirror and gathered my academic materials, continued my life as it was, until many years later in the future I found myself living in a city working for a prestigious puréed food pouch supplier firm, after a long day of closing deals I went to take the car service home but the broke down and the driver told me to get the fuck out, I had never taken the subway once since graduating precollege and finding myself quickly employed with the perks of having a car service and other perks of that sweet job, I had a really nice condo flat, anyways I digress, I end wandering into the subway and find the tiled halls looking mighty familiar, I find a laptop like the ones we have now and use it to open the same routes as available to me before in my dream, ended up in a room just like before standing before Buge, this time Buge says they forgot the pills

[lovethisbug]

Please may I have a name, my dear friend buge?

Barbaque Shellach

[lovethisbug]

A baby was hired to assassinate a robot so the baby pulls a sleek circular lever and a trap door opens up and they fall out of the space ship into an underground lab with crystalline pillars covering the stone floor there is a half man half robot who says I’m surprised you’re the one to come for me as i can tell by your attire that you have a mind for decisiveness and won’t hesitate to make a snap decision. The robot gestures to the right of him in a domed octagonal room with multiple laser rifles on a wall, a long curved table with a glowing holographic computer console with a red painted wall behind it. The man says “Before you kill me let me show you I am a good robot and have been trying to free a famous scientist, he is just over there in that room” and the robot half man points to a room nearby and low and behold a red sofa, blue sofa and a desk with a bald scientist with round glasses resting at the computer lab surrounded by computers on each side. The bald scientist with round glasses lowers himself to a curled up position with his knees bent against the door to avoid making any noise and whispered “Thank you.”

“You are more correct than you know,” the robot said before scooting away and closing the door “by defeating me in a duels there will be no issue in me fleeing to the golden city of mahogany.”

[lovethisbug]

I am Buge. I am a Tiny Green Insect. I give human babies proper names.

That makes me a parent. You should meet me sometime. I am a mother. I gave birth to 3 bright, breathing souls named Whisp Shadow, Groess Ploppet, and Fizzpot.

I love them. I gave them meat, milk, and toys. And I beat you with my stinging fists.

The children will be coming soon.

I have nothing but candy to feed them. Don't you see?

You are inadequate to be their parent!

Your humans suck!

Pah!

They're the spawn of mutant bugoids!

And if you think I'm kidding, you must be new here!

I don't know your name.

[lovethisbug]

can i have a name pls ...

Moral Piss

[lovethisbug]

bequeath me a name my good bug

WiFi Eyes

[lovethisbug]

I am joyous at the buge's return and humbly request a new name

Jesuit Store Clerk

[lovethisbug]

hi buge i am a bug name me pls

Chumpcrake Vodhko

[lovethisbug]

hi! could you name me?

Foob Slumble

[lovethisbug]

a mother takes her baby into the hospital and says “my baby is defective I want to return it” the doctor says let me run some tests and comes back and says “ma’am your baby is fine they can giggle and cry and poop like any other baby” the mom says but it is not phone TYPE AMEN

[lovethisbug]

Baby’s names 2: Lost In Britain

After receiving an encrypted transmission requesting help from overseas Buge sets sail for Jolly Ol’ england to investigate.  Upon docking on shore in London Buge sees a baby being chased down the streets by those Beefeater Guys y’know with the hats and just as they have cornered the baby in a corner of an alleyway with their bayonets pointed Buge quickly eliminates and destroys them they baby says no time to thank you for saving my life come with me the baby leads Buge down a labyrinth series of alleyways and pulls a brick and a secret underground hatch opens up and they go down into a Cyber Lair where there is a giant brain in a tank hooked up to a supercomputer the baby says this is my supercomputer it gives me all the data i need Buge says hold on who the heck are you are you the one who sent me the encrypted transmission the baby furrows their eyebrows and says i know nothing of the bloody sort buge says well if you didnt send it then who did? The baby just shrugs and says not my sodding problem Buge says okay then back to my original question…just who the heckaroo are you??? The baby sighs and swivels in their really cool looking chair with all sorts of visual displays and buttons on it and becomes silent for a moment before starting to say i am a royal baby, a prince if you will, and my family wants to name me Future King and i dont want to be named that ive seen the way that life is, its no life for a baby now thank you for saving my life truly dearly Buge i must ask you keep this a secret and leave me be i am in secret hiding here and cannot risk having my location exposed just then a smoke bomb goes off and buge and royal baby are quickly enveloped in it and coughing while the sound of many feet putter patter around them and throw nets over them and inject them with knockout liquid and everything does dark then buge wakes up in a dark room tied to a chair surrounded by babies dressed like those guys from pesky blinders but they arent like those guys just dressed like them and one of the babies says oi looks like sleeping beauty is coming too innit hello there Buge thank you for coming to help us sorry this ehn’t the ‘oliday you were hoping for mate, you see we’re the ones who sent you that message and we need your help thats when Buge starts thrashing around and screams this is how you treat your savior?  The baby apologizes and explains mistakes were made in the chaos but they got confused and needed to make sure they captured the royal baby.  Why the royal baby?  Because you see that bloody queen of his is oppressing us chimney sweeps demanding we do sweepin’s around the clock without rest just so her precious cozy fireplaces will be working in tip top shape, at first we thought you’d be the guy to come and save us but as we tracked you from the docks you led us to a more valuable solution, kidnap that royal baby innit you see and ‘old ‘im for ransom until we get more tea breaks and stuff innit.  Just then the group of babies are thrown clear from each other the royal baby has escape and is brawling with them and deftly defeating all of them with ease.  After clearing the room the royal baby says no need to hold me ransom chaps because im going to become a Chimney Sweep and lead all of youse to liberation as a nation of chimney sweeps and they all agreed that was a great plan and the royal baby leads all of them to march on buckinghamd palace where they storms the gates and smash the whole place up and sweep the chimneys beyond the point of needing to be swept for years after.  They throw the king and queen out a window into the Thames river and install the royal baby on the throne, dressed as a chimney sweep and they all chant all hail the Chimney Sweep roll credits 

[lovethisbug]

Just Your Average Family Eating Pompcorn On The Couch While Watching Classic Silent Films And Giving Each Other Giddy Goofy Smiles And Chuckles

[lovethisbug]

Come For The Kush Stay For The Swag Leave For The Drip Return On Fleek

[lovethisbug]

Give me a name fren

Overly Attached Gnome

[lovethisbug]

i have created a beast in a lab...................... what shall they be named...

Coma Parasite 

[lovethisbug]

can i get a name for the baby kitten i discovered today?

Cottontail Scout