SILVER STARR
thank you sharing first 5 chapters
written by Ashlee Jordan
CHAPTER 1 Hawaii south of 2006
Outside in the edge of a spot called ( rock piles )
We zoom out on a wave in Hawaii with shallow rocks
Crystal sets foot on a very long board made for Hawaiian waves, she is not used to the power of the Hawaiian south shore summer sets, compared to her sleepy cold south bay shore pound, a loud powerful wave that rests at her shoulders…
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The glistening sea and Daisy
Written by ashleefloweromedy
The Glistening Sea Rushes over Me Written by Ashlee Nicole JordanWalking down a backlit alley with the sunset slowly closing into the horizon with pink and orange clouds remaining, coming back from a long hot summer day at the beach (skate park hangs)Allen-What is that in your– what the fuck, are those mushrooms?Daisy-Yeah, Baby, it’s my…
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You reach out.
Then disappear
It’s like a distant tide.
Shifting over me
Like I am beneath you
Sound off
Muted
No need to feel my vibrational sound
Just a vision in your mind
You see me for what I am, and what I am not.
Meet me in the middle
Let go of the fear
Hear me
Hold me
Love me
I will be true
I will be yours
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Your like a peppermint halo
All over me
My lips
Your voice
Like a refreshing stream
My dream
Your song
Divinely colliding
I like that feeling
I like that realm the forest moon fairies
Your bare essentials and the wild world your creating
We found each other in it once again
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When your on the other side of it -
It hurts
There’s no other stream of delight
Only source that can quench my thirst
Free my mind
Feed my soul
Peel my ego
I find that testing the waters has kept me shivering for warmth in the endless summer
I want to submerge Into you
I want to swim up to your counter and order a fine time
Just us two
Up and out of the flow of the buzzing sequences
I don’t want to be on the other side of you, I want to walk alongside your glowing fortitude
Your mind that stimulates mine
Your smile that perverts mine
Your soul that activates something sweet I’ve never seen up close before in myself, and in the world
I shiver when I’m near but not out of pain or fear
But out of excitement I chatter and exude hope
I flow into a new level of freshness
It’s fine to grow and be here together
The confirming tide
The channel is this way
It’s easier to get on the outside than into the wave
Ride with me
And I’ll show you how
I’ll learn from you and follow what you do
I’ll let you lead
And trust your seed
And I promise you’re safe when angels are near
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More quotes about emotions here.
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I used to call you
When I was on my way over the mountain to that one cold room with my medicine that kept me numb
I was so far deep in the wrong direction
I would eventually take a less glamorous route back to the same street
Only to discover myself on the mildew fringe of an artistic chase
When will I find the glory
I left behind
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From a love poem
To me cursing you on the phone
It shifted that quick
Your words you can’t take back
It shattered the tower that held us up
The wind blew thru the smoke and mirrors
Your fake love
Your safe love
Your mean and hurtful
Dreams are punctured
And egos rule
All thru this year
A nightmare with you
Reached for you at one point to release the pressure
Now I realize you were what was making me hurt
Intense distraction
Feelings of demise
Swelling inside
Having to feel this all
It’s not worth it for a second
Take it back
All the time wasted
All the feelings spilled
You can’t clean this up
It’s a stain in my clean shirt
Time to take it off
Let it rest
Let it go
Flow back to myself and the glory I’m destined to embody
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Yesterday I realized
That I’m not with you
I’m with myself and have been skipped back into the pond
The evening sets in
The rain drops fall
Your neglect has me shattered
Remembering why I left this behind
Your cold gaze
Those blue eyes lie
The ego has got us both
Like a pack of wolves I’ve veered away
Solo and lost
Thinking I could trust a wolf
One of my kind
I’ve somehow transformed
Away from the insane cycle of duality and repetition
Patterns from the shirts I sew
The needles poke at my fingers
I’m sore now
Not stronger
But I can walk away with what little dignity I have left
And say goodbye for a while at least
Hoping this chapter will prelude to a kiss
A sweet something a whisper of sweet nothings
What’s left to be
Free from this
Like two magnets we repel each other
Stagnant lies
Your disguise
Your dis gaze
You can’t see the stars in Los Angeles
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Let me be
Have me see
What you really are
What it is you see me as
An item you can return
Into the abyss of endless emotion
For you
I saw in your eyes the ocean I wanted to escape into
A sea of pure joy
Like a wave of feeling
And it passes before I can hear the sound of your voice
soothe me in this chaos
you were the one inflicting the pain
See me as an enemy
I’ve gotten my locks all secured
Put away the nurturing warmth that I once grasped on to you to give away
Like a hungry animal seeking shelter and food
You starved the love I felt for you
by keeping me in the cold
Now I’m a victimizer
A monster of a woman
Let me continue to stay alone in this isolation
away from you and all you do
All you have seen
All you see me as
The fear you have
The reputation and company you keep
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He’s blocked me out
Blocked me out without a key
locked out
In the cold, in the alley without the key
Into my true existence
Of desperate longing for acceptance and validation
It’s time I look in the mirror and see my actions as pathetic as they are
Where is your career?
Where is your luxury
What do you have to show
who do you have to hold for more than a fleeting moment?
It’s gone in a gust of wind
Investing in distractions and escaping down a river that circles back to myself and my failures
Will I find it the key that unlocks myself to the life I am meant to participate in
Will I continue to drag my feet into the next chapter of showing up as they’ve told me I have to in order to survive
It’s life or death this circumstance your choices and mind have landed you in
You now live on an island
It is all you have
The sea
The sky
The land
The birds and the ocean
The sea and the bees
Isolated in the gifts I give
Bringing me out of my despair
Selfishly looking to slip back in to my indulgence of depleted elation
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Tears streaming down
Like a river that won’t stop
Moving forward crashing back
In regret and sadness
A hope that has fleeting glimpses
Grief
Ache
Nausea once more
What kind of cruel karma has landed on my heart once again, only to magnify this deep sorrow
Deep heated
Deep seeded disappointment
How can I not feel this in my whole body
My whole body’s awareness
My heavenly whole celestial being
My intuitive self
Your divine plan
Your divine gift
Your divine whole masculine
Your divine masculine is someone else’s
Someone else’s seed
Your divine seed
Harvested and healthy
Me, left envious and rotting
Like a half eaten apple
Withering
Away
From you
Your glory
My tears
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If you wish...
I want you in my shower dripping with excitement
I want you in my arms because i am soothed with the love you give
I want you near my breath because i can finally breathe
Im falling in love i feel in my feet
Up to my mind with each realization
Each vision falling into place
Every beat, every flutter
Every fear transforming into tears freeing me from the thoughts that kept me stuck
Without a clue
You have entered the impossible horizon with me
From red to deep blue
As I unlock the treasure there is no more hesitation
I like the sound of your voice it makes me feel pure
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