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[loveyourmixtape]

When your not inspired to create how do you refuel yourself?

Great question. Taking a walk, going to an art museum or a LIVE show, getting with other creative friends that are on my wavelength, going downtown to people watch...basically getting out of the house to interact with other humans lol 

[loveyourmixtape]

Where can I hear some of Jeremiah Harmon's music?

This is stupid late but...youtube usually. Jeremiah Harmon or Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon

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What Have I Done?

“Remember when you were a kid and movies were frightening, beautiful, and transformative? Forget the rest of the world and write for that kid.” “Cut a scene to its leanest, strongest emotion.”

*These two quotes have been my mottos for the past couple of years. They drive me to create.

Well, interestingly I’ve somehow done a lot this year. As the days of December dwindle down and my birthday fast approaches, I began to think about the year and how fast it has gone by. 

This year, my goal list changed a few times. I’m beginning to understand more and more that some things take way more time than I envision in my mind. The ebb and flow of my family life + all the random curve balls, I’ve had to adjust accordingly and be ok with allowing more time for things to progress. 

My birthday will be here in about two weeks or something (I should probably check that). My habit is to check my goal list every two weeks in order to see what I have completed, what is in process, what needs major work, and what needs more time. After looking at my list earlier today, I was blown away. I can faithfully scratch off 19 things from my goal list for the year! And I still have a couple of weeks left to finish more. What a blessing and a pleasant surprise! 

There were so many setbacks this year. There was even a three month span of being at a stand still emotionally/mentally and feeling deep loneliness and sadness. I’m not sure what I created during this time. It was a time of grieving so many things and it was also an unidentifiable time in my life where I wasn’t sure why I felt what I felt. But Jesus was close as I walked through it. 

This year, I found my true niche vs. what I thought I wanted to do with my company. I figured out what I actually LOVE doing instead of what I thought would be a great idea but essentially ended up being stressful and taxing. 

The value of building my company slow and steady, has been something I’ve grown to deeply understand and cherish. I realized who my tribe is and how they have been supportive and present every step of the way for this process.  I realized the importance of not overlooking them but honoring them as I grow as a leader through trial and error. 

I’ve met some of the dopest artists and people this year. Incredible producers and songwriters. I’ve met some awesome mentors and business people. It has been a wild ride. 

I know what I need now. Crazy how it all comes together.

I learned to not try to make a thing what it cannot be. Operating in reality is gonna bless everyone involved. The year is almost over but I know I’ll learn so much more. There’s more to write, but I’ll share those things later.

There are still a couple of things on my list I want to challenge myself to knock out before the year ends. And I’m going to do it.

See ya’ll soon!

[loveyourmixtape]

Sweetest Thing

Just had a tender moment with my littles.

I told them take a nap, put them in their bed, and baddabing baddaboom. 

No nap happened. Instead, they rolled around singing and doing random thumpy things, only to run back to their beds once they heard my maroon colored New Balance sneakers climbing the stairs to let them know a thing or two.

One kid got a spank and the other kid got a stern “Stop playing and go to sleep.” 

Of course, it didn’t work. Sometimes I forget that I know my children very very well and I should go with my mom instinct most of the time. 

They needed hugs and cuddles. It’s colder outside and they’ve been playing all day and sometimes when they are doing independent play, I’m not always right there with them when they are pretending to be driving cars while sitting in a plastic storage bin reserved for legos and random toys bits. Sometimes, I’m folding laundry while yelling into their room every now and then, “Hey! You need to play together!” Or I’m sweeping the floor while taking sporadic 5 minute trips into their room to wrestle with them and give them too many kisses and play with creepy babydolls.

But days like this, when it’s just the three of us, they tend to need extra. And if i’m honest, so do I. 

So instead of lecturing them again, I went into their room, prayed for peace and patience, held each of them in my arms one by one, and sang them to the halfway point. The boy first, and then the girl. 

Needless to say, it worked for me and for them. I now feel loved and snuggled and special and relieved. I think they do too. Everyone just needed to calm down and not be so serious. Everyone just needed a hug and some nice singing.

Proud to say that those rascals are fast asleep and tucked into their beds. I feel blessed to know them.

And now to eat lunch.

[loveyourmixtape]

Faithfulness

I came to know Jesus when I was 10 years old, bless God.

I learned how to trust God when I was 13. I used to do this thing with him, and thinking about it now as an adult, wow. How did I know to do these things? But I remember it vividly.

I would ask God an important question and ask him to confirm yes or no by using a bird to fly through the sky. I remember doing this with important things and with minor things. Sometimes, there would be no reply at all. Other times, there were replies and the answer would be confirmed. I was a teenager and God did this for little ole me. It built my faith in a special way. To this day, he still answers in unique ways. The only other place I’ve seen this is in scripture, which lets me know it is real. Why does he answer my questions? I do not know but I do know it has everything to do with who HE is and not because of anything I’ve earned or done specifically. 

It is because of who Jesus is. I am thankful for that and have the utmost faith in him. He has never failed me, even when there was pain and hardship and I didn’t understand. He has always been there. As an adult, I’ve learned what it means to persevere, at least according to my limited life experiences. I know every ones life is different and some people endure more than others. I can only talk about my own story. 

I am thankful for Jesus and his kindness to answer my questions and sometimes his decision to be silent. And the beauty of the local Church, where he often confirms his answers through his people with his word. 

If you’re reading this, it’s ok to have questions and ask them with an open and reverential heart. He’s a kind God. And if you are His, he hears you in a unique way. Sometimes he is silent, but he is all knowing and perfectly wise and we can trust his silence. His response may look differently than we expect.

 So ask. 

[loveyourmixtape]

Schoolin’ Life

There’s so much to say about this moment I’m in. This quiet space where I’ve been able to hear myself think. Initially I wrote a longer post but I deleted it in favor of shorter more simpler one. Here’s the scoop: 

I am not listening to music with lyrics. Only instrumentals (jazz, chill stuff) and audio Bible. How has that helped me? Creatively, I only hear my own creative ideas in my head and am moved to write and plan and execute my vision more than I was with everyone else’s ideas floating around. Musically, I’d like to have my own sound and vibes, not be heavily influenced by the sounds around me. Although I know influence will happen, it doesn’t need to be the bread and butter of my creative process. 

Ava Duverney said, in reference to the film industry, that she wasn’t thinking about the industry but she was focused on her stories. The stories she wanted to tell and tell very well. That’s my plan and vision here. I want the stories to speak for themselves and speak well. You have to just start. The journey is gonna be messy and interesting in the beginning as you’re figuring out where the pieces go. The important thing is to start. 

Very insightful. 

During this time of pause in my life, a couple things have been made clear. 

1. I am not who I was when I was single, or married without children. I need to respond accordingly to where I am in my life. Friendships are not the same, they go through seasons and spaces and I’ve learned to be ok with that. I have to be. It’s life. 

2. I am visually sensitive. What I watch has to be protected. What I hear and experience has to be protected even more. I have little ones, I can’t let spiritual foolishness into my home. I will see the consequences of that on some level if I do not watch and protect.

2b. You can’t be out here not praying for your home. Totally unacceptable. 

2c. Read the word. Memorize. Stop playing around. 

3. There’s a lot of work to be done on the ground via the church and just regular human life lol Social Media can easily be a place to talk smack but not back it up with actions. It can also be a dope place to connect with other people who are active in the community and really make some powerful things happen. Perspective is everything. We must take advantage of the opportunity and not let it run our lives in a distracting manner. That can’t be my life. Watching my kids roll around the floor in laughter and fun has to be more exciting and beautiful to me than staring at the screen of my phone. 

4. I don’t want my children to grow up remembering me as being distracted and giving my attention to everything/everyone else but them. Even in those tiny moments. They are watching. What am I showing them? How am I showing them how to live. 

5. Karen Ellis said that we have to be comfortable in the packages, the skin and  physical characteristics, that God created us in. It’s for a purpose. Find that purpose and go hard in it. This is true. 

For now, those are a couple things in the forefront of my mind. I’ll be back with more later. 

[loveyourmixtape]

Do you Mind

What a beautiful picture. 

I had to tune everything out. My mind was beginning to churn and churn and kick up dust in a way I did not like. I’m sorry, what did you say? I don’t think I can keep up with anyone this week. I feel like I have 20 apps running in the background so my hardware is beginning to move slower and slower. Like a slug running a 5k. 

And so I decided that friendships, news, commentary, articles, blog posts, voices, voices, and more voices need to be hushed. I don’t wanna read anything or listen to anything. I just wanna exist. I just wanna pray. I just wanna read the Bible and eat some breakfast. I don’t want to hear what so and so said about whatever they are talking about this week. The latest album, the newest gadget...I can’t. 

The moment I decided to say no to those things was the moment I felt peace right away. Right now I feel peace. If and when I do decide to reenter this world, it will be with rules and regulations. I refuse to be sucked in and away from my husband, my children and my God. 

And I’m cool. 

[loveyourmixtape]

Hey all! Just put out my first official mixtape. I plan to tell the story of it all in a couple of days. In the meantime, enjoy! 

[loveyourmixtape]

Launch. 

Couple snips from the new project.

#SummerOfMusic #SundayRecMusic

[loveyourmixtape]

Hey, I read about the birth of your daughter. You said this time the epidural worked. What happened with Ellington's birth?

So...almost 2 years late! I’m terrible!

Basically with Ellingtons birth, I got the epidural, but I didn’t push the button to have it re-up, so it wore off as it was time to push! Basically, I felt it ALL!!!!! Eek! But amen tho! lol

[loveyourmixtape]

This year: Goals and consistency. 

Blog.

Music.

Stories. 

sundayrec.bandcamp.com

sundayrecmusic.com

[loveyourmixtape]

Buy Now! Itunes, Bandcamp, Google Play, Amazon: McAllister Music 

[loveyourmixtape]

Been a while since I wrote.

I’ve been busy.

But one of the best things ever in life as a momma, is knowing there’s a time to let them cry it out at bedtime and a time to go and hold their tiny whimpering bodies close to your heart, and rock them to sleep. Because most time, I need it too. 

Goodnite.

[loveyourmixtape]

[loveyourmixtape]

Parenting! AHH!

A thought: I've heard people say that as a mom, I am a little more forgiving with my kids than their dad. I've also heard people say I fall in the middle...either way, there's a thing that always rolls around my mind when these conversations happen...

Children are children. There is a time to be firm but not mean or rude and a time to be gentle. Most of the time if I'm blowing up at my child, it's because they aren't doing something I want/need them to do OR I am expecting them to know how to do something or know information that they wouldn't typically/realistically know at their age or be thinking about OR they are intruding on my plans. The latter two being the ones that can be dangerous and important to be very careful when handling. Disciplining a child does not revolve around spankings. There are multiple methods and all children are different developmentally and personality wise. There are those nonnegotiable things that absolutely get you in trouble straight away. (those nonnegotiable things are important to have an understanding about). And then there are those things that are more of a process of learning/discipline over time.

All of this to say, I am not a perfect parent. I've only been a parent for like 4 years...I'm still in elementary school. However, we know our kids and are trusting Jesus to give us wisdom and insight into how to guide them in life. He does that through wise counsel from other folks, reading, guiding us when we pray, intuition, giving us wisdom through living life...allofthat.

There's always gonna be someone who thinks you should do x, y, z with your child. Sure, sometimes that's a great idea and you can take their idea and consider it or try it out. But don't miss it. Don't miss the fact that you are your children's mom or dad. You know them. And there's something unique about that fact. It's something to be thankful, to cherish, and to be confident in, but not a category to be prideful and unteachable in. Such a learning experience! (Jesus halllpp!!!)

Even as we end up being the one giving counsel to other parents, let's be aware and sensitive to the fact that parenting is not easy and we don't have all the answers either. Let's ask questions and get insight before making assumptions. Let's ask other parents their plan to tackle whatever problem is up for discussion. That way, the ever present shame and accusation that we don't know what we are doing or we are a bad parent (unless you actually are...) won't be able to sink it's claws so deeply into our flustered skin because we are being given a chance to talk and verbally walk it out. Someone is listening to us, not pointing their finger at us.

Parenting is amazing and challenging. Humbling. It is also mysterious LOL But...can we please be kind to each other? Can we please be kind to ourselves?

Can we stop judging each other based on what we have seen or not seen? Cuz' you know that just because you've never heard someone do or say something to their child...that doesn't mean they haven't? See how easy it is to judge someone based on our own experience? Don't get me wrong, if a person is professing to do a thing, eventually you'll see it in action or some type of fruit. Sure. What I'm saying is, YOUR eyes aren't the end all-be all for the validity of someone else's parenting. But sure, check in and make sure they're doing ok and there's nothing you can do to be helpful. That would be sweet.

Amen? Praise God.

Have a great day!

[loveyourmixtape]

A thought this morning

Quick note: Jesus was from Galilee. Galilee is in northern Israel. He also spent time growing up in Egypt. In Africa. Folk are brown there. Brown. Not white or European. No shade to white or European. This just wasn't it... Lest we misunderstand history, geography, and anthropology. Brown tho. And as far as I know, the ethnocentric terrorists who stole people from their homes to dehumanize and force into slavery, would never worship a brown man. Of course the color of his skin would be falsified in order to indoctrinate and cause them to appear noble and faultless. Of course passages and passages of scripture would be ignored and reinterpreted in order to decieve the oppressed and make the oppressor seem justified in his/her evil. Of course...atleast that's what I would do if I wanted to be a god. But I don't. So, those passages of scripture that were ignored and misinterpreted and that brown man that was recast in this epic but history altering stage play...I wanna know THAT guy. Because obviously, there's something real there. And it ain't because he's brown. But he is, brown. And that brown comes with a whole world of rich culture and background that matters in the scheme of things. And no one will keep me from him. After all, he came to seek and save the lost.

[loveyourmixtape]

Make Room! Sunday Recreation Music: Who We Are (A Documentary) Vimeo.com/wethetribe Directed by @fannsanders Shout out to the crew @arleneramirez @bonafidescribe @iammelissatmusic @young_lid2 @emac85 #womenInhiphop #herewecome