@holysins / location : grindr
she’s a painted picture , brushes stroking against a blank canvas to create a character she’s not even sure she knows herself ; one that her own hands haven’t even helped in creating . just a series of traits others want to see , always a people - pleaser , never sure why . today’s canvas is painted with the curvature of rose - colored lips and a faux blush ( that may just be hiding the sickening lack of color after a sleepless night ) , an attempt to rid herself of her usual ‘ sad bitch ‘ demeanor --- dani will be the first to admit how obnoxiously dramatic she is . coffee shakes at her fingers , jittery hands running through coarse locks of pink , an awkward movement of limbs that can’t sit still . one would think she’d stop now , heart racing in her chest at five times its usual speed --- rhythm matching that of the caffeine she’s consumed in the last hour . she won’t . ‘ do you think i’ll die if i have more espresso ? i want an iced americano . ‘
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Instagram: @alinaheat
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#a constant mood
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stereosounds·.
tonight is busier than usual , but cole has been maintaining a pretty good handle on everything —- himself and his co - workers are finally catching up on their tasks , some escorting customers into karaoke rooms as they free up while cole keeps his focus on fulfilling drink orders . and he’s maintaining a smile upon his countenance even under pressure , but the moment he detects a familiar face he’s not expecting to see —- lips falter and brow furrows . it’s not that he isn’t happy to see her , but given the rift their friendship has experienced as of late , he’s not sure how to react to her unprecedented visit . ‘ oh , hey dani , ’ cole greets her , not at all subtle about the fact he’s perplexed by her presence . and her request , somehow , is heard despite the emphatic environment , though his hands are still moving to complete the latest order of soju cocktails for the rather large group that currently surrounds the bar . ‘ uh , one second . ’ he’s grateful that he’s currently occupied , gives him a reasonable excuse from having to respond right away . but as soon as the order is out , the crowd seems to dissipate —– which leaves dani and him alone at the bar as his co - workers disperse to check on the customers within the occupied rooms . ‘ alright . sorry ‘bout that . what’s up ? ’ cole reaches for a rag to tidy up around the bar —- or just a ruse to continue to avoid eye contact with her , as awkward tension seems to fill the space between them , rendering cole’s entire mien rigid in the process .
rotting tongue is cut by the words she can’t say --- caught on the edge of her teeth in an attempt to keep the peace . always held together by the last remaining shreds of glue put in place , tearing at the seams because it just isn’t strong enough , dani’s mind is wrapped together like the delicate strings of a seemingly SOLID spine . words only spill when the spine is broken , torn by use and private hours in the seclusion of a shady tree . thoughts are standing still , tendrils that have made their way through the anxious mind in the hours ( days ) before she’s had the courage to bring her shaky legs here . ‘ i --- uh ... ‘ eyes dart through the room , worries always occupying the space in her mind , looking for an escape . unpredictable appearances weren’t like her , out of the ordinary for a girl who would rather spend her time ROTTING away in the comfort of her own room . liquid courage holds her nerves together though , dancing on the edge of her vision like an enchantment to lead her forward , and the thought of leaving dissipates along with the crowd of customers that had taken cole’s attention for so long . ‘ i just wanted to ask you something . i know it’s none of my business who you sleep with but --- logan’s gone now and i ... ‘ finishing the thought seems almost impossible , dry air forcing her cracked lips frozen shut as glossed - over eyes do their best to focus on the taller friend in front of her . ‘ i don’t know , it just doesn’t seem real . you didn’t really sleep with her , right ? ‘
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The O.C. | 2x12 - “The Lonely Hearts Club”
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To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Directed by Susan Johnson
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peraltiago life hacks™
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©
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)
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intertvined.
the air surrounding the duo was thick with well-deserved tension. they had both been thrown into a scenario that neither one of them had likely ever planned for. empathy is far from absent here. she feels for her in dozens of different ways but in this moment, she feels the disbelief etching each of dani’s words just as much as it’s saturating her features. to be quite honest, none of this feels real to logan either. in fact, the sum of the last week has felt like some kind of heavy trance. ‘ i don’t know. a few days ago, i guess. ’ nonchalance holds her frame upright, finding no use in verbalising a rebuttal. she rises to her feet then, countenance thrown over her shoulder —- surveying the current disheveled state of her bedroom. week old laundry litters the floor, soda cans decorating her bedside table. it was a mess, much like her life, and she hadn’t cared much to fix it. relaxing her frame, she began to fidget with her wallet. ‘ um, ’ digits pinch the only twenty dollar bill in her possession, ‘ this is all i have right now but i will get you the rest of this month’s rent as soon as i have it. ’ extending a limb, she’ll squish the paper into dani’s hand.
details etched in her eyes , dark circles painting a picture of sleepless nights and racing thoughts --- to which she can only sum up as the result of her own bad decisions . her track record lately has only chalked up to frustration and isolation , not that she’d reach out until it was absolutely necessary --- and in this case , she’d already thrown away those who loved her enough to listen . the crinkled bill feels so cold in her hand , a reflection of her own heart that she’d pushed so deep to hide from the girl she’d tried to care for unlike so many others . it’s almost too much for her to bear and she feels the silent sobs forming in the pit of her stomach --- she knows what this means . a girl who had spent most of her life STUDYING from text still hasn’t figured out how to respond to her own emotions . she’s not sure there’s enough time in the world for her to figure it out . ‘ why --- why are you giving me this ? ‘ gaze blanketed in confusion lingers on logan , searching for something --- anything --- that will give her the answers she’s looking for . ‘ are you leaving ? ‘
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holysins·.
𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐎 𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐒 , 𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐑 . desire for attention cloaks a lithe frame , restlessness melting upon cody’s tongue like dissolved sugar crystals , svelte digits curling around pristine skates , sharpened blade glimmering beneath dimmed lighting . cherry brims part , hues of pink scattering upon cheekbones , cadence gentle as he attempts to convince the other to join him . ’ come on , i’m so tired of just sitting and watching this film … ——- i want to skate . and i’m sure you kind of do , too … ——- right ? if you don’t … well , come with me anyway , i’ll guide you . ’ a juxtaposition in every sense of the word : demeanour was now quite the contrast to the one he usually broadcasted , unlike him to act so subdued , tongue having grown used to spiting others and invoking soured emotions to pour out between clenched teeth . blames his neediness on the fact that was deprived of skating with others for so long . nails dig crescent marks into delicate palms , a harsh tether to reality . ’ please ? i’ll buy you a hot chocolate after or something . ’
a childhood full of books to occupy the space in front of her nose , one that would ensure a life of solitude and shaking knees at the thought of social interactions , left little room for anything involving the dangers of ICE . she’ll quickly place blame on the adults in the child’s life who had isolated her to ‘ protect ’ her little mind and body --- who had kept her away from others in an attempt to prove they were doing their best . what with their absence and the great job they’d done , leaving the girl without a clue to maneuver through adulthood on her own , she leans on the fact that it’s all going to be over soon --- every night must come to an end . hands licked by the bitter cold of the evening are shoved deep into the pockets of a hooded coat , lips a shade of blue under the painted pink she’d chosen for the night . ‘ me ? skate ? you do know me , right ? i will FALL and make a complete fool of myself . ‘ mind plagued with the thoughts that everyone is against her comes to the conclusion that it’s something he’d probably want to see , that he’d asked her just to watch her do so . pushed away are these thoughts , though , at the mention of a warm beverage to make its way through her body and heat up the frozen tundra that has created itself inside her body . ‘ okay ... fine . but i expect hot chocolate immediately after . and if i fall , you can’t laugh . and also , you have to catch me . ‘
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gorgeous miss yeri
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