lovsagains

[lovsagains]

💀 an urgent text. —— from billie to kaleo.

[  unsaved  number,  06:09pm  ]  are  you  almost  back  yet  ? [  unsaved  number,  06:09pm  ]  sorry [  unsaved  number,  06:09pm  ]  there's  someone  at  your  door [  unsaved  number,  06:10pm  ]  should  i  let  them  in  ? [  unsaved  number,  06:10pm  ]  they  sound  really  angry  ...

[lovsagains]

🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent. — eli and loey !

[  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  we’re  on  the  beach  now  and  all  the  stars  are  out.  do  you  ever  talk  to  the  stars  about  stuff  ?  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  mama  says  that  every  star  out  there  is  a  family  member  watching  over  us,  and  that  we  should  tell  them  about  what’s  going  on  in  our  lives  so  they  know  how  to  properly  guide  us  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  i  used  to  talk  to  the  stars  about  what  i  wanted  to  be  when  i  grew  up;  that  i  wanted  to  play  the  piano  for  the  rest  of  my  life,  that  i  wanted  to  make  my  family  happy  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  it’s  different  now  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  now  all  i  tell  the  stars  about  is  you  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg    →    mi  media  naranja  🍊  ]  do  you  ever  think  you  and  i  could  b  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  ! 

[lovsagains]

🥱 : a sleepy voicemail — mavis and lucy !

          BEEEEEEEEP ———— “be  honest  —  do  you  think  i  could  take  your  brother  in  a  fight  ?”  the  words  are  punctuated  by  a  yawn,  followed  by  a  series  of  clicking  on  her  laptop.  her  phone  lies  stagnant  beside  her,  the  voicemail  catching  even  the  faint  hum  of  fka  twigs  in  the  background.  “‘cause,  like  ——  if  he  steals  any  more  weekends  with  you,  i,  like  super  doubt  that  the  next  band  practice  is  gonna  be  too  pretty.  anyway,”  the  colors  across  her  screen  dance  with  the  haziness  of  someone  close  to  drifting  off,  but  mavis  does  little  to  remedy  the  situation;  online  shopping  is  her  pre-bed  activity  of  choice,  after  all.  “i’m  going  through  the  black  friday  racks  right  now  and  i  need  help  deciding,  like  ——  is  this  the  outfit  that’s  gonna  get  my  roommate  to  fall  in  love  with  me  ?  better  yet  ——  is  this  the  outfit  that’s  gonna  get  blossom  in  your  pants  ?”  with  a  tired  slowness  she  copies  the  links  to  the  dresses  on  her  screen,  pasting  them  on  a  separate  note  titled  get  people  to  buy  for  me.  “m’sendin’  you  the  list  tomorrow,  maybe.  —  or  haul  your  butt  to  my  room  and  we  can  decide  together.  la-maw.”  a  free  hand  goes  to  rub  her  eyes,  and  she  finally  shuts  the�� laptop  off,  putting  it  aside  before  she  reaches  for  her  phone  and  yawns.  “—  k,  ugh,  hope  you’re  having  fun  tonight.  tell  tristan  he’s  a  loser  for  me.  love  ya,  byeeeeee.”

[lovsagains]

a  tired  groan  escapes  his  lips  for  no  reason  in  particular;  he's  just  a  brat.  he  shoos  laila  into  a  chair  and  heads  off  to  get  two  cups  of  water,  returning  a  moment  later  and  passing  one  to  her.  plopping  down  in  a  seat  across  from  her,  he  gulped  the  drink  down  in  what  felt  like  one  breath.  the  water  was  a  cool,  a  balm  to  his  aching  bones.  he  sags  in  the  chair,  allowing  himself  a  lazy  moment  after  all  of  the  activity. if  he's  being  honest,  then  he  doesn't  mind  the  work.  it's  interesting  to  see  all  of  the  pieces  come  together  just  hours  before  everything  is  to  be  set  in  motion.  and  he  never  minds  being  a  part  of  something,  especially  if  it  will  make  so  many  people  happy.  well  ⎯⎯  he  doesn't  know  if  the  banquet  makes  anyone  happy.  but  it  certainly  leaves  them  drunk  and  loose,  so  that's  close  enough. his  head  turns  at  the  sound  of  her  thanks  and,  despite  his  innumerous  complaints,  he  grins  at  her.  "i'm  happy  to  help  !  i  couldn't  let  you  do  all  this  work  by  yourself."  not  that  she  would  be  by  herself,  what  with  the  staff  helping  out,  but  the  sentiment  remained.  if  she  was  going  to  break  her  back  to  help  out,  he'd  at  least  give  himself  a  spinal  injury  to  go  with  it. "but  you  should  really  rest.  or  else  you're  going  to  be  too  tired  to  enjoy  the  banquet."

a light sheen of sweat was a bead on her brow, poking out under rose gold hued silk wrapped around her hair, cheeks a rose shade to match her covering. a roll of mocha hues, and she huffed, standing && stretching her back after handing off the crate to him. it gave a crackle noise, && laila winced, moving on to roll her neck next. " and leave the truck 95% of the way finished? what's the fun in that? " she teased, but in truth, was almost wondering just as he were how they'd ended up unloading. yes, laila had offered her help... and she had promised to bring along friends (realizing, suddenly, she was lacking)... and it wasn't her fault he'd fallen for the lousy cover story she'd fed him on the way. lips twisted in a smile, and she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

" alright, fine. let's sit down, and get something to drink. " she relented, knowing that if it weren't in his efforts to slow her forward motion, laila may never touch the brakes. it wasn't like she meant to trick him, and spoil his night... or be selfish. imposter syndrome was rearing it's ugly head, and as she felt surrounded by the luxury && decadence of the elite, laila couldn't help but feel she had to do something to make it all fit in her world.

but why bother him with the silly semantics of it all, her insecurities that led to fluttering butterfly hands, a need to do. " thank you, seriously, for helping. it means a lot. " and there - that was the bright side to it, every time she swindled their help, the genuine gratitude that came in boundless warmth in her smile was some praise for the effort given in enduring her whims. " i don't know how anyone can relax on a night like this. must be your super power or something. "

[lovsagains]

relief  is  a  drug  in  his  system,  seizing  him  from  the  inside.  he  offers  her  his  arm  and  tucks  a  smile  in  the  direction  of  her  cohort  before  turning  away  from  them.  the  banquet  is  still  too  dull  and  stuffy  for  his  liking,  but  its  faults  seem  to  lessen  with  her  on  his  arm.  there's  a  comfort  otherwise  unknown  that  creeps  into  his  system  when  she's  with  him;  it's  the  reason  that  he  has  such  a  difficult  time  letting  go  of  her. if  he  leaves  words  like  'love'  and  'soulmate'  and  'asteri'  out  of  things,  he  can  almost  believe  that  he'll  be  capable  of  letting  go  one  day. stepping  out  of  kitron  takes  them  to  the  patio,  thankfully  bare  at  this  time.  there  are  a  few  people  literally  the  space,  cigarettes  tucked  between  glossed  lips,  hands  sneaking  around  waists,  but  it's  significantly  less  crowded  than  it  was  inside,  so  he  doesn't  vocalize  any  complaints.  he  guides  her  to  an  unpopulated  area  and  drags  a  few  chairs  over  so  that  they  can  sit. the  summer  without  her  is  a  blur.  they  were  days  spent  telling  himself  not  to  call,  only  to  inevitably  do  so  anyway  and  come  back  without  an  answer.  panic  and  umbrage  twisted,  nipping  at  each  other  for  the  chance  to  overwhelm  him  first  ⎯⎯  to  render  him  either  inconsolable  at  the  thought  that  something  had  happened  to  his  moonshine,  or  outraged  that  she'd  taken  to  ignoring  him  after  such  a  meaningless  fight  as  the  one  that'd  led  to  their  last  breakup. (  meaningless,  he  knows,  because  he  can't  remember  what  it  was  for.  he  remembers  storming  out  the  door  and  crushing  her  memory  beneath  his  heel  with  another  woman's  hand  down  his  pants.  ) if  he  were  a  better  man,  he'd  be  able  to  say  that  it  doesn't  matter  now.  for  whatever  reason,  she'd  ignored  him  for  the  summer.  she's  clearly  alive  and  well  now,  so  the  panic  ceases  to  exist.  and  all  that's  left  then  is  the  hurt  anger.  he  takes  his  seat  and  sticks  a  hand  in  his  pocket,  palming  the  pack  of  cigarettes  he  keeps  there.  it's  tempting  to  light  one  right  now,  but  he  knows  he'll  be  a  worse  person  if  he  does. a  lit  cigarette  is  all  it  takes.  nicotine  in  his  gums  and  he  loses  all  sense  of  a  filter. his  hand  comes  out  of  his  pocket  empty  and  he  laces  his  fingers  together  so  as  to  not  reach  for  them  again.  he  looks  down  at  his  knees  so  he  doesn't  have  to  look  at  her.  he's  not  ready  to  say  that  he's  glad  to  see  her;  he's  not  quite  done  missing  her  yet.  "have  you  been  well?"  he  asks.  "long  summer?"  he's  prodding,  maybe,  cautiously  poking  around  for  a  reason  without  asking  for  one.  but  he  commends  himself,  at  least,  for  being  civil.

          there’s  something  unnerving,  wrapped  around  the  heart  between  her  chest,  and  it  claws  and  clings  to  her  being  the  way  only  unease  can.  priscilla  tries  to  snap  out  of  it,  tears  her  focus  away  from  the  sound  of  glasses  clinking  against  each  other  to  zero  in,  instead,  on  conversations  she  only  partially  understands.  but  the  disquiet  lingers,  heavy  like  a  blanket,  clothing  an  environment  she’d  normally  thrive  in  —  normally  love  —  with  the  wary  feeling  like  she  isn’t  supposed  to  be  here.

          summer  had  been  easier.  she  could  dodge  calls  and  avoid  meet  ups,  make  excuses  for  bailing  on  plans  at  the  last  minute  (  if  she  felt  like  making  excuses  at  all  )  so  she  could  sit  with  the  weight  of  what’s  happened  to  her.  but  this  is  different  entirely:  drinks  are  free  flowing,  and  the  student  body  is  alive  and  buzzing  with  excitement  for  another  school  year,  and  all  priscilla  can  think  about  is  how  she  wants  to  be  alone.

          she  chalks  it  up  to  another  thing  about  herself  that’s  so  borderline  pathetic:  feeling  like  death  at  a  party  full  of  life.  how  unbearably  cliché.

          for  some  reason,  she  knows  he  comes  closer  before  she  actually  sees  him.  she’d  known  bumping  into  him  would  be  inevitable  tonight;  that  sooner  or  later  she’d  have  to  confront  the  consequences  of  not  responding  to  any  texts  or  calls  over  the  monthslong  break.  but  she  had  done  her  due  diligence  —  avoiding  the  usual  walk  she’d  make  to  the  unit  at  the  very  end  of  the  fellows’  manor’s  hall  to  get  ready  for  the  banquet  together,  surrounding  herself  with  other  friends  and  dionysia  members  to  stop  herself  from  inevitably  searching  for  his  face.

          (  but  it  didn’t  work;  it  never  does,  does  it  ?  she  can’t  seem  to  be  rid  of  him,  no  matter  how  hard  she’s  tried,  and  lord  knows  she’s  tried.  it’s  a  blessing  and  a  curse,  to  know  and  be  known  by  someone  like  the  back  of  one’s  hand.

          finn’s  too  entangled  in  her  soul  that  they’d  find  each  other  without  looking,  anyway.  )

          the  laugh  that  slips  her  isn’t  devoid  of  mirth,  though  it  isn’t  exactly  blooming  with  warmth  (  she  doesn’t  have  much  of  that  to  go  around  these  days  ).  but  she  stands  anyway,  turning  to  face  him  —  almost  immediately  hit  with  the  overwhelming  feeling  of  being  face  to  face  with  the  man  she  despises  and  can’t  live  without.  “hi,  finny.”  she  smiles  at  him  then,  and  maybe  she  hates  herself  for  it  a  little.  but  she  can’t  help  it:  he’s  still  the  same  person  who’d  won  her  over  years  ago,  helping  her  move  into  the  graduate  hall.  he’s  still  the  same  person  who’d  promised  her  the  moon.  

          she’s  still  the  same  person  who  believed  him.  

          she  excuses  herself  from  her  table,  slipping  his  arm  through  hers  like  it’s  second  nature.  “outside  ?”

[lovsagains]

samson's company was a well-received gift. billie hardly knew what to do with herself, despite attending these events for years. her cohort was different this year: the dionysia, which she'd only dreamed of being inducted to since her arrival at the school. it frightened her, truly, to be the only one she knew here. so it came as a great comfort to find samson among her peers ⎯⎯ if not a friendly face, then at least a familiar one. her lips tipped into a smile at his observation. "well, you are certainly no darcy," she said ⎯⎯ a compliment. mr. darcy had won the hearts of many, but he'd never been her cup of tea. "mr. knightley, maybe." she sipped from her glass of champagne, the taste unpleasant on her lips but keeping her busy, all the same. she brought the glass back down to her lap, thumb moving across the rim. "though, to be fair, i don't really know what i'm doing with myself, either," she confessed. she never had; she was prone to following what she was told to do, rather than thinking for herself. the kind of woman that jane austen would speak quite horribly of, she thought. she didn't answer his question about whether or not she was enjoying herself. she couldn't say that she was or wasn't. she just counted it a miracle if she made it through the night without drastically humiliating herself. "are you enjoying the night?"

 for: lovsagains

location: banquet hall 

 Samson was often amazed at Billie's perfect knowledge of Austen; a knowledge not merely confined to her fabled works, but penetrating all aspects of her life. He'd never had a head for what was logical, but fond instinct led him to books. Billie was a cicerone after the hearts of all at Daskalos -- she amazed you with smiling observations on all things, her handle gentle as she guided you to a lucid conclusion. It pleased her to aid others, a sentiment that beamed in her sable eyes and warmed her lips. "I think that you remind me of Elinor, or Jane -- but I do not think a supporting sister, would be correct for you. Elinor then, definitely. As for me? I don't know if I'm cut in the cloth of one of Austen's men." Through his exaggerations, Billie was cheerful -- but Samson did not feel he could easily describe her demeanour. There was something about her that was uncanny, in a manner that made her original; Billie held no common mastery of her passions.  Perhaps some would be simple enough to not notice her; but Samson looked at her, and saw a woman sweet-tempered, but enduring. Who amongst their number, could help but like her? "Are you enjoying the party? There's over two hundred grands worth of outfits here -- but I do I think anyone knows what to do with themselves? No." A chandelier was above them --- its crystals scattered brilliants across the room, painting the scene with a pale frost that made one think of winter; far from the closing state of summer they lived in. Samson focused on this display, owning the thunder of his heart -- he was at risk of displaying further tyrannical self contempt. The present was no occasion for such a shameless display, and Billie would regard him with only natural benevolence; Samson envied this in her greatly. "I'm probably Rochester, I think; I'm more a Byronic hero, then anything." 

[lovsagains]

do you love priscilla? ( finn )

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      "  i'd  like  to  think  that's  obvious.  but  i  suppose  it  wouldn't  be,  would  it  ?  "

[lovsagains]

smash or pass priscilla —— finn :/

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      "  what  kind  of  question  is  that.  be  so  forreal.  "

[lovsagains]

smash or pass eli —— loey 🤭

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      "  elias  ?  he's  hot.  why  wouldn't  i  smash  ?  "

[lovsagains]

"Can I kiss you?" / blossom and lucy !

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      LUCY.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING.

[lovsagains]

🖤 — eli ( to loey ) !!

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

[lovsagains]

🖤 — priscilla ( to finn ) !!

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

[lovsagains]

(last one sorry 2 annoy) "Can I kiss you?" / eli and loey !!!!

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      "  oh.  "  a  few  surprised  blinks  before  a  smile  spreads.  "  of  course  you  can.  if  anyone  can  kiss  me,  mon  cher,  it's  you.  "

[lovsagains]

smash or pass blossom —— lucy!!!!

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      "  nice  try,  creep,  but  i'm  a  feminist.  i  don't  talk  about  people  like  that.  "  translation:  until  the  neighbors  call  the  cops.  even  then,  i  will  be  [CENSORED  FOR  YOUR  OWN  GOOD,  TRUST  ME]  until  the  prison  stinks.  until  dehydration  claims  us  both.  until  satan  himself  knocks  on  the  lord's  door  to  ask  what  the  fuck  is  wrong  with  us.

[lovsagains]

⚠️ a text meant for someone else. — for kal & billie !

[  11:52  PM  ]    [  attachment:  1  image  ] u  up  ?   [  11:52  PM  ]    oh  fuck [  11:52  PM  ]    hey  b  so  so  so  so  sorry  ignore  that [  11:53  PM  ]    matter  fact  if  u  could  delete  that,  that  would  be  great [  11:56  PM  ]    god.  i'm  so  sorry.  jesus [  11:58  PM  ]    see  u  in  class  tomorrow

[lovsagains]

🍎 an apologetic text. — cilla and f*nn

[  imsg  →  f  ]  that  fight  wasn’t  your  fault.  i  shouldn’t  have  lashed  out  at  you  like  that  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !   [  imsg  →  f  ]  i  have  so  much  i  want  to  tell  you.  but  i  don’t  know  if  i  can do that  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !   [  imsg  →  f  ]   telling  you  will  mean  it’s  real  and  i  don’t  want  it  to  be  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !   [  imsg  →  f  ]   i  don’t  want  to  lose  you  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg  →  f  ]  i  don’t  want  us  to  run  out  of  time  —  𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞  𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭  !  [  imsg  →  αστέρι  μου  ]  come  over  if  you  want  

[lovsagains]

she  really  doesn't  know  how  they  got  to  this  point.  standing  in  this  section  of  the  beach  was  supposed  to  be  safe.  she'd  been  alone  for  nearly  twenty  minutes  before  he  came  along.  his  sudden  appearance  led  to  light  conversation,  lowered  defenses,  and  now:  this.

@graeclandtoo  asked:  "  can  i  kiss  you  ?  "  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯  noah.

"  i  .  .  .  you're  asking  me  ?  "  nervous  eyes  dart  towards  around  the  beach,  expecting  him  to  be  talking  to  anyone  else.  but  everyone  else  is  conveniently  at  a  distance,  and  she's  the  only  person  he's  looking  at.  she  returns  her  gaze  back  to  him,  a  flush  burning  her  cheeks  and  curiosity  in  her  eyes.  "  i  can't  tell  if  you're  making  fun  of  me  again,  "  she  says  ⎯⎯  the  admission  feels  small,  as  pathetic  as  she  is.  she's  been  down  this  road  before;  taking  people  at  their  word,  going  to  prom  as  someone's  dare  of  a  date,  the  undesirable  girl  in  the  dogfight.  she's  been  down  this  road  with  noah.  she  bites  the  inside  of  her  cheek,  fingers  curling  into  her  palm.  she's  an  idiot,  through  and  through,  but  she  can't  help  but  want  to  give  him  the  benefit  of  the  doubt.

(  it's  the  fool  in  her  ⎯⎯  the  girl  who  thought  the  world  of  him  just  two  years  ago  and  let  him  crush  her  without  saying  a  word.  she's  still  just  the  girl  who  loves  him.  )

she  uncurls  her  hands  and  watches  him  wearily.  "  if  i  say  yes  .  .  .  what  happens  then  ?  "

♡      ’      ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯      meme turned thread, beach. after dinner.