loweletters

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Yesterday I filled a wheelbarrow with fluorescent tubes and gasoline and pushed it onto the freeway. I didn’t win the free dishwasher, but boy were they surprised!

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe, This Thursday (tomorrow) is supposedly International Gogurt Day. Well, that's what my Dad told me while he was in a hurry out of the house just a moment ago.  I went ahead and checked the fridge right after he shut the door. No Gogurt inside... did he leave to go buy some? What if he left in a huff because I upset him, not knowing about Gogurt day and all? Dad still hasn't come back, but at least Mom'll be home soon. She's promised me and Sally two big bowls of chowder. Sincerely, A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe, It's me, I'm ba

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Last night I went mini-golfing with some of the seniors from work. It was a blast! Mr Peterson fell in a hole though, and the fire department had to pull him out. Also they forgot to give me a ball so I just pretended the whole time, but I think it's even more fun when you use your imagination.

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Today a man on the street offered me a baseball cap full of cream cheese. I told him no thank you but he just grinned and slapped it on my head. It actually felt pretty nice!

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Sorry I haven’t been writing to you lately. I’ve been busy with my new job! I got a job as a birdfeeder at a local retirement community. Each morning I slather myself in peanut butter, roll around in a pile of birdseed, and then let the little feathered friends have at it. It’s really fascinating to watch peoples' reactions, too; you’d think they’d never seen a rosefinch before!

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Have you ever had a green pimple? Is that normal?

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Which do you prefer, Pop-Tarts or Toaster Strudels? I'll tell you a secret: I buy both and then put the icing on the Pop-Tarts instead. I like to draw elephants! Do you think Pilsbury could sue me?

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

This morning when I woke up, I found that my left leg had been transformed into a large Slap-Chop. My bed is in tatters from trying to stand up, and there are now large chunks of carpet missing all over the apartment. I called for an ambulance, but when they arrived the EMTs told me to call Slap-Chop's customer service. I'm on hold.

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

I was flipping through some photos I got developed the other day, and there are a bunch of photos mixed in that I didn't take! They're all close-ups of peoples' noses. Unfortunately, I don't think any of the noses are yours. Who do you think took them?

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

I just noticed today that I've yet to buy furniture for my new apartment! I checked craigslist and found some neat free stuff, but all the pieces have "assorted stains." What should I do?

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Lately I've been thinking that I could be doing more for my health, so I've decided to get myself a workout routine. Can you recommend a trainer? Also could you spot me while I lift this? It looks pretty heavy. I don't want to

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Do you like origami? What's your favorite shape to make? If you give me your address I'll mail you an origami walrus.

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Would you rather be the captain of a ship, or the leader of a mountain expedition? I'd love to befriend a goat, but I suppose a whale would make a good companion as well. 

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

The other day my email got hacked, and I sent my entire extended family about a dozen emails regarding penis enlargement medication (Uncle Harold took the whole snafu rather personally, but that's another story). Can you recommend a good hack-proof password? I won't mind you knowing it, I trust you.

Sincerely,

A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

Can you tie any interesting knots? I’d bet my next box of animal crackers on you being a catshank man, but I could also see you appreciating a good Yosemite bowline.

Sincerely, A fan

[loweletters]

Dear Rob Lowe,

I've decided it's probably best that I find a new calling in life. Right now I'm thinking Marble Shiner. Got any marbles in need of a shine?

Sincerely,

A fan