lowlifekidnappinghuman - Tumblr blog

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

I hate to be the bad guy but the bell can’t be tolling for all of us

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

Page of Cups and Death

It was an unexpectedly friendly gesture, and nothing has been the same since.

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

If as you're reading this post you're in a sufficiently private and relaxed situation that you feel comfortable doing so, why not go ahead and make a weird noise with your mouth and/or voice. Maybe try to find one you've never done before in your life, to have the satisfaction of expanding your palette of possible physical actions a tiny bit. You may surprise yourself, you may be inspired to new curiosity towards the peculiar and unique machinery of your body. Only if you want to though.

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

everyone knows that space is very very cold, and the sun is very very hot. so i assume there's a bit of space kind of near the sun which is just right. balmy space

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

me and who‼️⁉️

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

can you name at least 10 shakespeare plays off the top of your head?

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

MARY OLIVER

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

Everyone who plays around with Tarot cards long enough winds up with a “bad” card that they love. I just barely persuaded my husband not to get the Ten of Swords tattooed on his body; traditionally, it shows a corpse with ten swords stuck in their body and means “utter ruin,” but he thought that if it took ten swords to kill you, then you must have put up a pretty good fight.

honestly this is the most badass ten of swords interpretation i've ever heard.  i'm stealing this

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

Cloud Strife is truly The Character of all time. He’s a government-trained killing machine. He’s a cross-dressing babygirl. He’s a jaded mercenary who never turns down a job because he likes helping people. He’s an amnesic ecoterrorist who’s killed hundreds of people in order to save the planet from capitalism. He was the only child of a single mom and he’s been miserably in love with the girl next door his whole life. The first time he saw her in a swimsuit he forgot how to talk for ten full seconds. He has the personalities of at least three different people stuffed into his head, and two of them are trying to kill each other (Zack just wants everyone to get along). He’s the result of a mad scientist’s experiment that implanted the cells of a genocidal alien in his body. The son of that genocidal alien is psychosexually obsessed with him. So is the local pimp. His eyes glow because of all the radiation exposure, and half the people he meets are like, “Oof, you’re gonna die young, kid.” He’s a 5’7” short king. He’s a puppet built to bring about the apocalypse. He’s even autistic.

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

got high and forgot to jerk off cause i was busy thinking about my theories

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

As a certifiable sleepy girl nothing feels more romantic than cuddling up for a nap with someone. Please play with my hair as I fall asleep, I’ll melt into a puddle.

[lowlifekidnappinghuman]

saw a bad (non-harmful, just incorrect) take regarding my emotional support blorbo and im being so so brave by not sharing my objectively correct opinion on that post not even to be a little snarky in the tags