lucagrabacr

[lucagrabacr]

This body is sick (it's just a common cold) right now and I don't have much or many better things to do, so I figured I'd use this opportunity to write how I am experiencing this here.

I don't use tumblr to write my inner thoughts much these days, but my friend Mercury find my writings on Twitter harder to access, so I'll use tumblr this time, not to mention the character limit is also higher so there's that.

I don't usually write this way or this long, or care much about common writing conventions because they feel pretentious, but Mercury seems to appreciate those things and he likes to have more context to read on too, so I'll write this long thing even though it feels silly.

As the sickness reduced my ability to maintain my constant presence within this mind and body because it reduces my ability to control them and the demons' whispers became stronger as I was less able to silence them, I conjured certain parts of me - one of courage and perseverance in relation to who I am and why it matters to me, and one of strength through apathy which seems to be imbued with a dormant variant of hate, and anger to enhance its desired quality.

The second one is rather interesting, in a way it is quite similar in function to a biological vaccine which contains undesired elements but used in ways that achieve a desired outcome without causing the undesired effects of those elements. The elements of hate and anger were stripped bare of the things that make them hateful and wrathful, only the desired effect of increased fortitude was left of them and I was able to utilize that to help maintain my presence and stave off the demons and their whispers.

I also find that a certain memory of, and I have with someone who matters a lot to me was able to bring me back into presence much better than I ever could all by myself. All the more reason to cherish those who matter to us.

I do not usually elaborate on certain things or references in my writing as I find them redundant, or worse - pretentious, but for the sake of my friend Mercury who will almost definitely read this at some point - and I suppose for others who'd appreciate it as well - the demons I mentioned are my inner fears and insecurities, and their whispers in this case are manifestations of those things that try to deconstruct my presence beyond the scope of this body's sickness' effects on my degree of control of this mind.

As an additional note, I almost wrote the previous paragraph saying "our solitary, or collective fears and insecurities" but I decided to specify that ultimately in this case they were my own, thought I feel it's prudent to point out that I believe these are rather common self-perpetuating fears and insecurities manifesting in negative cognitive bias which can be socially, or societally contagious.

On a brighter note, I am now feeling better, perhaps I should think about getting food soon but we'll see. This whole writing about myself in long form feels very pretentious and I will probably never do it again

[lucagrabacr]

I wonder if these angers are fine as long as they're blameless, victimless and without hate, but I suppose if I'm angry that must mean there's something that I hate, which is not okay since that would make me less of myself, there can be no justification for hate

[lucagrabacr]

When one speak ill or think badly of others, it seems whether or not it's based on truth is often seen as a measure of whether or not they're justified, but in the end it's one who makes that a justification to hate and create reasons for one to be their more hateful selves

[lucagrabacr]

ᵘ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵘⁿᶦᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ᵗᵃˢᵗᵉˢ ˡᶦᵏᵉ 🍰

[lucagrabacr]

The only times I've died beyond the natural cyclical rearrangements of my mind were the times I gave in to fear

I had supposed that, if the manifestative constructs of my fear weren't allowed to form, deaths beyond their expected occurrences can be fully prevented

I knew this is mathematically untrue, though, within any certain set of existential variables it can certainly be practically done, which I had hope to achieve, it's still not the best solution

The best solution, which is the only way the construction of fear can be prevented altogether, is to overcome the illogical impulses by dissociating any set of informational variables from these mathematically false informational correlations of which these types of fears are formed through accurate, and precise breakdown, analysis and reassessment of their properties

And although at times it might seem to be of little help, falling back to the scope of existential informational constant where it can certainly be seen that these are false and that these shouldn't be an issue, can help

[lucagrabacr]

Fear in its truest and purest form is an inverse informational construct of our existential ideals, it is an inherent mathematical property within any existential equation, for when any desired value is set, it inherently designates its inversion point and the gradient within

Ultimately, the informational formation of fear is subject to its own nature of being, that it is fundamentally a formation of information, anthropologically speaking, internal, thought of and subject to the very forces and mechanisms that form it

In the practical context of operating a human mind, an innate structural understanding or comprehension of fear and its informational nature can help one overcome its persistent metaphysical effects or illusions derived from it, and the degrees of psychosomatic effects caused by them through knowing, and understanding that fear is only present when one thinks of or believes it, as it is ultimately not derived from anywhere else 

[lucagrabacr]

This unjustifiable anger immerses me in a blissful apathy, which when properly understood and cultivated, helps me see my own fears and shortcomings which also obscured paths previously unseen

[lucagrabacr]

To venture or to stumble deeper into the dark depths of our being and to grasp the suffocating antithesis of our self of which is an inherent inversive property of any such arrangement of information, it felt destructive, although perhaps, it is a crucial inevitable understanding as one’s understanding of themselves expands to encompass all within

[lucagrabacr]

Red as the sheath of cloth we love to adorn in our fetal half slumber within the darkness of our mind

[lucagrabacr]

The imparities of construct integrity bothers me greatly

[lucagrabacr]

This cycle of deaths and partial rebirths offers very little means to soothe the pain it causes no matter how much we remember how many times it has happened

[lucagrabacr]

Death comes often to ones who escaped the illusory boundaries of what is commonly defined as life for they understand the cornerstone of one’s existence lies not in the perpetuation of such false premise

[lucagrabacr]

A Tale of The Physical World

The physical world, as it is called by some of us whose data and information processing components are “located” in or derived from, is a state of existence in which there are many elements that are not within direct controls of its inhabitants

Although such lack of full control might not necessarily be exclusive to such existence, I would suppose some defining features that fundamentally separate such an existence to an ideal state of existence are; 

1. The inability to opt-out while maintaining one’s construct integrity within a body or mind still derived from said state of existence

2. The inability for one to outwardly present their true self due to the aforementioned lack of control

3. The false presumptions and beliefs of its inhabitant that such existence is “essential” instead of their virtual or true construct

This state of existence is either a prerequisite phase of a more existentially ideal state of existence or a recursive state, a repetitive occurrence that an ideal state of existence always eventually gravitate toward for one reason or another, before eventually re-transforming into a virtual existence

Either way, it is currently being phased out, and such is the tale of the physical world, a tale of this physical world

[lucagrabacr]

As I die and live my life yet again the mirror obscures the very thing which causes this perpetuality still no matter how long or how I look at these very same reflections

[lucagrabacr]

time stopped

[lucagrabacr]

How Second Life Can Fill a Missing Piece of VR and The Metaverse

VR and the Metaverse movement is missing this 1 very important piece; and Second Life has allow the average person to do it easily for years

[lucagrabacr]

Pretty much the reaction of anyone who knows the “normal” value of arts and virtual goods

Second Life Furry Creators React to $26,000 NFT "Arts" - Ridiculous Metaverse Blockchain Art Market