lucifer-lacks-life - Tumblr blog

[lucifer-lacks-life]

10/8/2023 11:50pm

almost killed myself in front of my mom. day started good, had my last dnd session, welcomed my family, had a close friend shit on something I love TO me which hurt super bad bc im used to that and thought I wouldn't deal with that here, got chewed out for not carrying about my life and health bc I had energy drinks bc my caffeine addiction is damn near the only thing keeping me alive rn, then told once again my mother that i need to stop "claiming" my depression and told once again that there's nothing wrong with me. all i wanted to do was tell her that i stopped taking care of myself bc I've been depressed. i just need her to see me and recognize that im struggling without trying to tell me to fucking pray it away

so all around feeling like a massive failure and waste of space. i don't wanna die, I have so many things I plan to do and wanna achieve but fuck it doesn't feel like its worth it anymore. im so tired. idk how I can keep trying

[lucifer-lacks-life]

i think im at the point in my depression where im only watching john mulaney specials???????? i never thought i'd be back here again but alas, here we are.

[lucifer-lacks-life]

my brain is doing Bad. ive completely checked out of my body

i just wanna go to him and have him help me fix it

[lucifer-lacks-life]

just took his necklace off for the first in...... well since i got it. im doing great :)

[lucifer-lacks-life]

first post, starting strong

dealing with my break up well

this is the vibe

he thinks im not sad about it and that kinda makes it hurt worse. really reaffirms the choice to end it bc i cant handle emotions