lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

WAFD Writing Challenge 1; Lucifer

Prompt: Everyone makes mistakes, some more than others, some more deadly than others, but everyone makes them. Getting through life without looking back and regretting something is nearly impossible, even for an angel of the Lord. So, if your character could go back in time and change one thing, get one do over, what would it be and why?

What actually happened;

"Father I cannot love them... I do not know how." Lucifer confessed, eyes wide and horrified by the slander that'd left his own lips. After all, to refuse an order from their father was an unspeakable sin, an unforgivable one. It had never been done before, not ever. Lucifer hadn't even been aware he'd been capable of uttering such sacrilege.

But he had... and worse still he meant it. He did not know how to follow his father's orders because he could not comprehend being able to love anything or anyone more than his family, let alone these newborn creatures with very little power or ability and without the grace that had always allowed Lucifer to form bonds with his siblings... he had no idea if human souls reacted in the same way. He had no idea how humanity functioned at all actually...

How could he immediately come to love something so unfamiliar, unknown?

He couldn't, not without time anyway, but he knew his father was merciful and would grant him that time, he knew that he had a soft spot for Lucifer and he knew he could rely on him to understand even as he spoke these words of sacrilege because he knew that his father knew that Lucifer would work hard to change things, to make himself love humanity. And Michael would no doubt guide him too. He trusted them after all, completely.

He turned to face his older brother who had just made the pledge to serve and love humanity, looking to him for guidance... and was met with a cold he had never before seen in the archangel's gaze... and honestly? For the first time in Lucifer's existence, he was terrified. So much so that he barely registered their father's orders until his brother's gaze hardened further and the other angels began to avert theirs in response... he was to fall for his crimes.

How Lucifer wishes he'd handled things;

Father I cannot love them... I... Lucifer stopped the thought in its tracks, forcing his gaze back to the creations their father had presented to them. They were different, possessed something called a soul instead of grace. They were wingless and in many ways inferior and Lucifer struggled to see what was so amazing about this species in comparison to his brothers and sisters and of course his mighty father and creator, why these creatures were so much more deserving of his love...

But if he looked closer, he could focus in on their resemblance to their father... and as his siblings all pledged to serve and love and look after these strange creatures, Lucifer forced himself to focus on that and to do the same, to pledge the words even if he didn't quite mean them, not yet.

Because he would, he would ensure as much. He would love them because their father commanded it. Because it was his duty. Because he was a good son, an obedient son, and had always followed the orders of his father and his older brother who he loved and admired with all his heart.

And because he owed it to the fledglings he guided to set a good example and to obey their father's will.... his gaze briefly moved from the humans below to one of those fledglings in particular, decision fully made in his mind as he repeated his vow, a greater certainty behind the words than before.

He didn't notice the look of surprise or of guilt that crossed his father's face as his back was turned, didn't realise the fate he had just narrowly escaped. The plunge he had managed not to take.

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Well, if my sources are correct that is, Kevin was taken by Crowley when you and Dean got blasted into purgatory... Be assured little brother, Crowley and I will be having words very soon.

If the Tran boy is still in his possession when we do, I shall ensure he is released. I cannot promise that I won't need his assistance myself, but I can promise that I will not leave him in the hands of the would be king.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Chuck's the one who sees things right? And Kevin's the man with the tablets... I'd imagine he'll have fallen into Crowley's hands then. Not to worry though, I'll be catching up with that particular child of mine pretty soon... I believe he and I are long overdue a little chat... No need to apologise little brother, I am always happy to listen to what you have to say.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Lucifer allowed his own smile to widen in response to Lisa's acceptance, the thoughts of the kind of information he could likely ween from the... 'date' he believed was what the humans called it... more than enough of a motivation for him to attempt to charm Ms Braeden, at least for a little while longer.

"Great, I know a nice little place nearby if you'll walk with me?" He offered, having actually heard of the shop from one of his scouts who'd been watching Lisa for him for a while now... they'd taken particular pleasure in informing him that the place served slices of 'devil's food cake' with their coffee and apparently it was to die for... His children did seem to have a taste for the melodramatic. "And of course not, though I'm afraid it wasn't anything all that exciting... work mostly actually. I have a pretty high intensity job and sometimes it's hard to switch off the part of my mind that deals with that kind of stuff, even on my days off."

Safety || Lisa and Lucifer

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

I wouldn't expect any more than that little brother.

I have several bases stationed across the world now... the tides truly seem to be shifting in my favour, for the moment at least, though I of all people know how fleeting power like that can be... I am pleased to hear that little brother and which prophet may I ask? ...I confess it feels strange to ask that question yet if my sources are correct there are two prophets now?

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

If you wish to do so that is fine, though I assure you not all of my children are quite so unreliable as the ones you have had the misfortune of coming across. Perhaps you have simply been mixing with the wrong demons little brother.

Very true, I doubt you would be quite so fond of my base of operations in Colorado... I have been well Castiel, more than that things have been working surprisingly well in my favour... many of the creatures that followed you out of Purgatory have been more than willing to join my cause and not to worry little brother, the Leviathan won't be joining those numbers anytime soon, I have a few wards in place that they should find particularly taxing to cross... How about you little brother? How are things?

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

"It's a pleasure to meet you Lisa," He offered the woman a 'charming' smile,  a little amused by the way the woman's friend (the name of whom still escaped him) seemed to shuffle off in a supposedly 'subtle' manner to a nearby store, the subltey somewhat ruined a little by the looks she was flashing Lisa as she did so.

He took the hand she offered, shaking it lightly "And I'm glad to hear you're okay, sorry about before I guess I get a little too caught up in my own head sometimes... how about you let me buy you coffee to make it up to you?" He figured it couldn't exactly hurt to get to know the woman a little better, not that the information he had on her from his sources was in any way limited but... it never hurt to have a first hand impression of a person, especially when they were to play such a key role in the plans he had laid out for dealing with the older Winchester...

Safety || Lisa and Lucifer

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Good. [Smiles back] I am not offended little brother, I am well aware of the nature of the company I keep and how fond they happen to be of you. New allies means plenty of new intelligence and some of them are only too happy to talk... it's often getting them to shut up that's the challenge. And I can understand that little brother but no harm will come to you while we talk, you have my word. [Uses his grace to transport them to a room in the motel he mentioned] I'll admit it's not the finest of establishments but... it serves it's purpose all the same.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

It is and I'm sure you and I can agree that's a good thing hmm little brother. [Places a hand on Castiel's shoulder] The followers at this base know far better than to pry into my choice in company, let alone attempt to harm my guests... they know the consequences that would follow if they did. I assure you little brother, you will be perfectly safe.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Precisely, which is why there is no problem. And... I am beginning to little brother.

If we ceased to feel pain, we would cease to feel and then how would we be any different to the father who abandoned us? I appreciate that little brother... there is a motel not too far from here where we should remain unwatched... my forces happen to be particularly strong in that area.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Unless you plan to tell me opponents of this 'soft spot' of mine, I fail to see why this would be a problem. Time changes everything Castiel, you and I are no exception to that. We will change but our loyalties may not be quite so fluid... I know where mine lie and I cannot see them shifting any time soon.

And perhaps, but what is there in life which doesn't involve some form of pain? Of suffering. I have found that the hurt is often worthwhile in the long run... and I appreciate that little brother. I would be happy to do so if you are currently able to spare a few moments of your time.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Lucifer's eyes skimmed the crowds of the shopping centre lazily, grace already having informed him of the location of the woman he was seeking out...

Lisa Braeden, the girl who got Mikey's vessel to settle down.

If what he'd heard about Dean from his sources (the more reliable ones) was in any way true then that wasn't exactly an unimpressive feat. She'd become important to the older Winchester, that much was obvious. She'd known his greatest secret after all and he'd lived with her for a whole year while soulless Sammy had run around on the surface... that practically screamed attachment as far as Lucifer was concerned.

So, she was important then to the way this game was played out. After all, she'd make an all too tempting distraction for Dean if she was thrust into the middle of the battlefield, and a distraction was precisely what Lucifer needed if he wanted extra time to work on moulding Sammy to his will before the final battle.

Plus, this plan had the added bonus of his older brother being just that much less likely to interfere given that his actions to involve Lisa would, no doubt, work in his favour too... because attachments, affections, love... they were weaknesses in war. And weaknesses could easily be exploited if needs be... and if the first apocalypse was any indication, Mikey would be needing all the help he could get to acquire his vessel in the coming fray...

If Lucifer had to kill his brother, he wished at least for it to be a fair fight after all. And he would acquire Sam again, that much was inevitable given the residual vessel-bond that still hung between them, especially when paired with all the time he'd spent with his soul in hell, moulding the human's soul to his will...

It was a pity really that Castiel had felt the need to interfere as far as that was concerned really, not that he considered the damage completely healed but... the boy was still far more stable than Lucifer would've preferred. It would make it just that much more of a challenge to sway him...

In fact, if it had been anyone but Castiel who had interfered... he shook the thought from his mind, refocusing his attention on the approaching women. Lisa and her friend... Katie? Cathy? It didn't particularly matter to him, what was important to him right now was the Braeden girl.

He pulled out the paper he'd been carrying, pretending to read it as he moved in the opposite direction, feigning ignorance of the woman's presence and timing his steps so that he'd collide with her in three, two...

"I'm so sorry, I should really pay more attention to where I'm going... I'm Nick, are you okay?"

Safety|| Lisa and Lucifer

The shopping center was crowded, but that wasn’t uncommon. Battle Creek was busy on the weekends—clumps of giggling teenage girls and gossiping co-workers meeting outside work—and the shopping center was the most popular meeting place. Lisa didn’t mind, though, crowds took away some of her unease.

Ever since the accident, she’d felt watched. Doctor Matthews had just said that it was a side effect of the concussion, that it would fade with time. Problem was, it didn’t. She was long-since done with the whole recovery process and, if anything, the paranoia had gotten worse.

Like now—even in the crowd, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing high and proud and terrified, her hands clenching into fists as her nails dug into her palms. 

"Lise?" Catherine touched her arm lightly, brushing a stray hair behind her ear. “You okay?"

"Fine." Lisa replied, pulling her eyes from the crowd and back to her friend. “Just tired."

No one in the crowd looked familiar, anyway; she was probably just being paranoid…

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Lucifer couldn’t stop the frown that formed on his face at the thought of Castiel being left in a mental ward, likely defenceless to any potential attackers, when the Winchesters should’ve been looking out for his angel. He’d thrown in his lot with them in the last apocalypse after all, surely that meant something to those two? And it angered Lucifer to think Castiel had been abandoned like that... but, more than that, it concerned Lucifer as to what would’ve driven his little brother to the point that he’d need to go to a place like that. After all, most mental scars could be healed with grace alone which meant this kind of injury wasn’t just the cursory kid of madness... and it sounded a little too much like the kind of madness the pit itself inspired for Lucifer to feel all too comfortable with the idea of it... “You were locked in a mental ward? Why little brother, what happened to you to drive you to that point?” He took a moment to allow his eyes to skim over Castiel’s vessel, grateful to find a considerable lack of the hallmarks he’d come to associate with the madness of some of his ‘associates’. After all, when you dealt with the big, the bad and the nasty on a regular basis, sooner or later you ended up coming across a few patrons with more than a few screws loose... but it was war and Lucifer couldn’t afford to be fussy over things like that. And these days? There was a far greater value placed on loyalty than sanity. 

His frown only deepened as he considered how to answer Castiel’s question, not entirely sure how honest he should be, hell, how honest he was prepared to be with himself about these matters, before finally responding, “You were one of the angel’s I raised myself but more than that, you were the only one I continued to ‘raise’ once I had already taught you all I needed to know... to this day I cannot quite put my finger on why but, somewhere along the lines, I became immeasurably fond of you... and I find that affection is something I’ve never quite been able to shake.” And it hadn’t helped that a part of Lucifer, the irrational part that would likely get him killed one day, even if it were not at Michael’s hand, didn’t want to shake that affection, that bond he felt with the younger angel. Because back before the fall he’d never been happier than when he was in the fledgling’s presence and, even now, that didn’t seem to have changed. Because despite the grim matters they were discussing, Lucifer had still genuinely smiled in this conversation they were sharing more than he had done in what felt like entire millennia now. “You always mattered to me Castiel, surely you realised that? You might not have been highly revered in heaven as I was but reverence by many is rarely honest and means very little... and you’ve never been ‘a nothing’ little brother... not to me.”

Lucifer’s expression bordered on fierce as the words ‘I should have let Raphael kill me’ registered in his mind, his free hand automatically moving to hold the other angel’s jaw, forcing him to maintain Lucifer’s gaze as he spoke. “I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again little brother. Raphael is dead and there’s nothing you or I can do to bring him back, don’t lose your own regretting the decisions that led him to that fate.” Don’t make me lose you too... I’ve already lost everyone else. Because Gabriel and Raphael were dead, he’d felt the energy of their grace fade from existence. He’d watched countless siblings fall in battle, so many of them the ones he himself had raised. He’d watched his family fall apart and die. And he’d lost his older brother to his father’s will. Michael might as well be as good as dead to him because sooner or later he would be or else Lucifer would die himself... Castiel, as much as it terrified him to consider as much, was all Lucifer really had left, save his cause, to cling to... he couldn’t lose him too. And he hated, truly hated, how vulnerable that made him but, all the same, he couldn’t stop that vulnerability.

“Indeed he flew the nest long ago and we have long since ceased to be of any value to him... he likely has new creations to dote over by this point, more obedient ones perhaps. We have been all but forgotten.” Either that or daddy dearest was still watching simply for his own amusement. Perhaps his sibling’s deaths were simply entertainment to him, a way to combat his boredom given that his oh-so-precious humans hadn’t turned out to be quite so interesting after all... and the mere thought of him treating his family’s deaths, their family’s deaths, like that sickened him... but all the same, he didn’t consider him exactly incapable of such a sadistic streak, not after the way he himself had suffered all those years at his father’s hand. A greater torturer than any he’d employed upon the racks of hell...“But we cannot blame our brethren for their blind faith, they simply do not know any better... you and I have suffered far more in his absence, have endured far greater trials than they have been forced to endure... we have been forced to face a harsh reality which I believe they are not quite ready to face just yet... and I cannot begrudge them for it.” He simply hoped that perhaps some of them would be wise enough to open their eyes to the true nature of their father as the war progressed. Because he had no true desire to face his siblings on the battlefield should he be able to avoid it.

Lucifer narrowly resisted the urge to frown, the thought of Castiel and one of his children, of Crowley of all children, being that close to his angel, of being ‘partners’ with him making him more than a little... he refused to use the word jealous but it wasn’t far from that. That demon had attempted to take all that Lucifer had worked for. His title, his throne, his followers and even Castiel himself... what gave him that right? If the demon didn’t hold as much use to Lucifer as he currently did alive, Lucifer would’ve smote him on principal for the nerve he’d shown in his absence... All the same, the thought of the demon suffering at his hand was a soothing image and sure as hell not one which exactly lost its appeal with time and the increasing amount of information he learnt of the ‘king of hell’s exploits while he’d been a little tied up downstairs. “Good? Castiel I care for many of my children but I know them well enough to know that their intentions are rarely good ones... and Crowley is more the proof of that fact than the exception.” Lucifer had no doubt that the demon had fully planned to betray Castiel the moment he’d received a better offer, perhaps even had towards the end since he’d imagine Raphael wouldn’t have been all too adverse to getting into bed with the enemy if it meant taking Castiel down... “No one should take that kind of power Castiel. It is a power that no living being should wield.” He just hoped that Castiel would remember that now.

“I am relieved to hear it little brother,” Lucifer admitted, offering the angel a half smile as he did. Because had he returned to find his brother mid-attempt to usurp their father... he was unsure precisely what his reaction would’ve been, but it was entirely likely that it’d have been explosive and pained and would’ve resulted in actions he’d have more than regretted later on when he’d had the chance to consider them... Provided of course that this ‘Godstiel’ he guessed he should call it wouldn’t have smote him first upon principal of being this ‘better God’ that he had no doubt the younger angel had been attempting to be... an admirable objective Lucifer could admit, but un unrealistic one all the same... “That’s still more intact than most of their victims, they are creatures capable of turning almost everything to dust, it is somewhat a miracle that you did not fall victim to that particular fate.” After all, the Leviathan had been savages even when he and Michael had slammed the doors of purgatory shut all those years ago, he could imagine how much more vicious and twisted they’d become in their confinement... after all, he himself was living proof of what that kind of punishment could warp a creature into, how it could twist and deform them into something unrecognisable and all the more deadly for it.

“There are not many who would these days little brother... except out of fear perhaps.” After all, Lucifer had found it was much easier to command a large army of differing motives out of fear and respect than any kind of loyalty. Loyalty was hard to earn and usually flimsy at best... but fear? Fear endured, particularly in the hearts of his children and in many of Eve’s. Fear of the consequences of turning their back on the devil, fear of being left ally-less in the face of the hunters and smite-happy angels that awaited them on the other side of the battle... fear was a powerful motivator and, over the years, Lucifer had become somewhat of an expert in cultivating ‘loyalty’ out of it, or at the very least obedience... But the kind of unconditional loyalty Castiel was offering? He’d only very rarely experienced that these days from some of the higher ups in the demon hierarchy, the ones who truly viewed themselves as his offspring and were willing to lay down their lives for his cause... but those demons were, unfortunately, few and far between these days. He had the majority of his knights of hell and a few other loyal followers... but the disobedient children had, unfortunately, only grown in number in his absence and fear seemed to be the only thing capable of keeping most of them in line... thankfully though the scare tactics still worked just as effectively as they had the last time around otherwise he imagined he’d be fighting this war on even more fronts that he was already being forced to do so...“There is every need to thank you for being an exception to that.”

“I don’t disagree with you there, to defy an archangel when they wish to claim you as a vessel is pretty idiotic after all,” Or perhaps something akin to bravery. Lucifer could, if he was honest with himself after all, admit he held the slightest of admirations for the Winchesters as far as defying their assigned destinies was concerned. He imagined he’d even have liked them if it wasn’t for the fact that their defiance was such an inconvenience to Lucifer’s own plans... After all they also shared their fair share of daddy issues. Perhaps they’d even have been able to bond over them...“But I do not believe he is foolish for having faith in you Castiel. After all, I share that faith in you little brother... and I would not like to consider myself a fool.” Even though he likely was for continuing to care for the little brother who had so openly defied him the last time he’d walked the earth, who had made no secret of the fact that he hadn’t wanted Lucifer out of the cage, who had died twice in the attempts to keep him from waging his war and had ultimately been a part of the team that’d succeeded in condemning him to hell... And since he’d been trapped in the cage, Castiel had become like the very being he’d sworn vengeance on. He’d killed Raphael and had played at being God and if it were anyone but Cas... But it was and, in spite of every instinct telling him otherwise, he still cared about the angel and cared far too much at that... the same way he’d always cared too much really where the younger angel was concerned... and the cynical part of him figured it was only a matter of time before he’d have to pay the price for that kind of attachment.

Lucifer’s lips curled upwards a little at the sound of Castiel’s laugh, the warmth of it bringing back memories of happier days in heaven when he and the younger angel had sat talking about anything and everything, the fledgling’s laugh often ringing through the air along with Lucifer’s own... he had never laughed more than in the fledglings company, not even with Gabriel when he assisted his brother in setting up some of his more complicated pranks (the fact that Michael had never found out that Lucifer had been responsible for helping his brother set those up would forever be a mystery given how unsubtle, in hindsight, the two of them had been in setting up their operations... back then they’d definitely lacked the sneakiness that both of them had since mastered...)... he shook the thought from his mind, the memories of Gabriel unmistakably tainted with guilt given how the younger angel had met his demise at Lucifer’s hand... that was the one action, save Castiel’s temporary death, that he could never quite justify to himself, no matter how hard he tried. Because even with the reasoning of war and sacrifice and the fact that Gabriel had been planning to do the same to him, given half the chance... all he could see when he thought of the archangel was the hurt look on his face when he’d run that dagger through his chest, the way his eyes had glassed over, the silhouette of wings as he’d fallen to the floor, his true wings burning into the ground as his grace flared out of existence for the last time... he was simply grateful that he’d never had to see the shadow of Castiel’s wings laid out like that because seeing Gabriel had almost broken him, seeing Castiel’s would’ve likely destroyed him completely... and then it’d have been only too easy for Michael to win the war...

But he forced those thoughts from his mind, just about managing to maintain the smile on his face as he quipped back, “Indeed and I’d like to think I raised you to be polite in all circumstances anyway, I’d hate to think you hadn’t learnt from what I taught you. I like to think I was a fairly good teacher back then.”

“You and I both little brother, we deserve better than the life we were ‘assigned’ to.” After all, he and his siblings hadn’t just been designed to fight, they’d been designed to fight each other. Before the creation of humanity, before his fall, there had been no wars to fight, no battles to win. They were trained as soldiers but for no real purpose, it had simply been a strange yet unquestioned formality since no one had really questioned daddy dearest back then, least of all Lucifer. Back then he’d been unwaveringly loyal, despite the hushed whispers amongst the garrison that’d suggested otherwise... He never would’ve considered disobeying their father’s orders, would’ve had dared, and so he’d followed each and every one to the letter and with a wide smile on his face... he’d been a good little soldier. A blind one. A fool. It was easy to see as much in hindsight but back then he’d been blissfully naive to such matters... And then he’d fallen and after that war had finally begun to break out and his siblings began to use the moves they had mastered upon each other. Soldiers bred and created to kill one another, brothers and sisters slaying each other and their father had always known that this was the purpose of their abilities, had created them to be slaughtered, to die just so he could make a damn point about his power and about obedience... Lucifer hadn’t been the only punchline to his twisted jokes, thousands upon thousands of angels had also paid the price. And it made Lucifer loathe their father more than ever to think his children were that disposable, meant that little to him. That he could be that heartless... it shouldn’t have surprised him after all this time and, to an extent, it didn’t. The man upstairs (or possibly not given that his whereabouts was currently unknown) was a coward and an asshole but the fact that he was so willing to train his children up for the slaughterhouse? That, more than anything, was something Lucifer knew he could not forgive.

Which was why he continued to fight, to avenge his siblings and to make damned sure that this war was the last they ever had to fight. They may have been born to be warriors, but they deserved better, they deserved peace... and Lucifer would give it to them the moment this war was finally won.  “I hope that you are able to set the things you intend to to rights little brother... And I hope that most of our brethren may be spared in the coming battle. I swear to you, should I win, it will be the last battle any of them will be forced to fight in.”

Lucifer sighed at Castiel's following words, the truth of them stinging a little even though he was more than aware of the reality of the angel's statement by now. “I am aware of this Castiel... but he is still my brother and, despite popular belief, I have never quite been able to give up on family...” He offered Castiel a sad smile, just about managing to keep the hurt from his tone as he considered all he had lost when he had been cast from heaven. Because while being barred from the only home he’d ever known had been, admittedly, more than a little distressing, especially to the still young and naive angel he’d been at the time, it’d been the loss of his siblings that’d cut him deepest. The loss of the bond he’d shared with his older brother, the archangel that had raised him and, for a huge portion of his formulative years, who he’d admired above everyone save their father. The loss of his first tutee and the pranks he’d become infamous for across all the garrison of heaven but who’d always pulled through in his duties when it had truly been required of him. The loss of his more studious younger brother who had always followed around in Michael’s shadow, learning and watching and likely hoping for an opening to spread his own wings (quite literally) within his father’s services and prove himself the way Michael had... perhaps even usurp his position in hindsight. The loss of the younger fledglings he’d trained, the ones that’d taken to flying like a duck to water and the ones that’d struggled like Lucifer himself had all those years ago, and had warmed themselves to him all the more for it and he empathised with them and took the extra time required to make sure they’d be able to fly just as well as his other siblings and with none of the criticism they’d likely receive from some of his other siblings for their failed attempts... And, most of all, the loss of the one fledgling he’d ‘trained’ long past the time he’d needed to just because he wasn’t quite ready to let him go...

He’d fallen for the love he’d held for the ones he’d ended up losing and the bitter irony of that had not been lost on him during his time in hell, if anything it’d made him angrier, more determined to make their father pay for this cruel twist of ‘fate’, of ‘destiny’.

“All the same, should we come to blows on the battlefield, I will not idly stand by and let him cut me down, you can be assured of that little brother.” Because however much he regretted the fact that such actions would be necessary, the fact was Michael had rejected his offer when he’d pleaded with him the last time they’d been topside to end this, to walk away from this war and set aside their differences... and his brother had been cold, callous even, had refused to listen, had refused to stop... it was enough to convince Lucifer that he had no choice but to face him in battle that time and he doubted, despite the time he’d shared with his older brother in the pit, that any of that had changed really. Fact was it was their ‘destiny’ to fight one another, or else it was Lucifer’s to die at Michael’s hand. And Lucifer had suffered for far too long to allow that to happen, no matter how much he desperately wished to see his older brother walk away from all of this.

Because Lucifer needed to win this war now. Too many had fought and died on both sides for him not to see his cause through to the end. Too many of his own siblings had been slain at Lucifer’s own hand. Too many had suffered at his and Michael’s and their father’s hands... it would be an insult to their memory not to continue to fight on their behalf, so that their sacrifices were not in vain, so that their brothers and sisters would be able to live in peace, so that their kind would finally be freed from the oppression of daddy dearest, finally able to achieve what they were truly capable of instead of being forced into the role of humanity’s glorified babysitters... and he would free them, he had promised himself as much everyday in the pit for longer than his siblings had been preparing to combat his efforts against them... and now that he was finally free, finally given a second chance at this war, he wasn’t going to break that promise, whatever the cost.

He just hoped that he could limit the cost to Michael and perhaps a few of his more devout followers or, at the very least, manage to keep Castiel from  becoming one of the sacrifices he had to make in this war... because he was entirely sure he was capable of killing the angel again in the first place... and he was almost certain that, were he to take the angel’s life, he would struggle to live with the consequences to the point that he’d likely lose the war against his brother and then all would truly be lost...

Because, in spite of everything, in spite of the internal mantra telling him not to get attached, that caring wasn’t an advantage and that it would likely wind up getting both him and Castiel killed, he had never quite been able to shake his affection for the wide eyed fledgling he’d once taught to fly... and then later, however unintentionally, to fall.

Brick By Boring Brick ⇄ Casifer

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

I suppose I cannot alter your views on this? Because I believe you are more worthy than any of the other beings I have placed my trust in... I suppose I shall just have to hope that time will mend this warped perception you seem to have of yourself little brother.

I am sorry to hear you share my curse there Cassie, though I'm a strong believer that caring is not such a bad thing sometimes... And of course little brother. I miss the peace of Eden and the easy companionship we shared back then, I miss being blissfully unaware of grand battles and father's true will and I truly miss when raising fledglings was my greatest concern, not waging wars... you are right little brother, things were far simpler back then.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

It's fine little brother, I trust relatively few these days so I can understand your confusion as far as that is concerned... But I do have faith in you Castiel and you would do well to remember that... and that will not change with time. No matter what esteem you appear to hold yourself in, I assure you I hold you in a considerably more favourable one...

I am aware of as much Cassie but there is little I can do to alter the course of events. This war will be fought, must be fought, with or without my consent... but accepting that does not mean I have ceased to care.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

Castiel you are not a convenience for me. Do not insult yourself by comparing yourself to my other allies, they are... sketchy, temporary at best and with motives that will only stand alongside my own for so long... but you are different little brother and I would not kill you again, not ever... I could not live with it if I did.

You're my little brother Cassie and for a while it was my job to watch over you, I find it hard to go back on those protective instincts now... and it is not just you who worries about our family little brother but I have no way back home and no way of knowing whether or not they are safe... but it helps if I know that you are.

Anyone up for a singalong?

[lucifer-the-lightbringer-blog]

I know better than to trust all the alliances I make Cassie, it's just nice to have them for the time being... convenient. But should they turn tail and betray me... I will be only too willing to cut them loose...

You needn't worry about me little brother. And... I understand. These are, of course, difficult times for you... though I hope I do not add to those burdens of stress which you bear.

Anyone up for a singalong?