lucifers-horror-harem

[lucifers-horror-harem]

bad luck brian shit happening to guga lately

[lucifers-horror-harem]

being an extremely light sleeper who doesn't go to bed until 3-4 am so no matter where i live my roommates & friends say stuff like, "wake us up if the tornado sirens go off, "wake us up if the tsunami sirens go off," "wake us up if that bear comes back by camp,"

when people say these things i can't help but feel i'm satisfying my evolutionary purpose as night guard. it's just easier now than it would've been for me 10,000 years ago bc i have a flashlight and a weather app.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

[lucifers-horror-harem]

me when i see an animal that is known for being in my area

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Why do people keep reblogging that photo of a goth chick in a combine harvester

[lucifers-horror-harem]

I love looking at 2-3 week old kittens and saying That thang is hardly even alive. do they know where they are I don't think they do

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Hey boss man can't come in to work today. I'm just not feeling the love. You know how it is. Not feeling the love. At all

[lucifers-horror-harem]

meeee i'd teach my kids to hate capitalism from day one ❤️

[lucifers-horror-harem]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[lucifers-horror-harem]

you tell any adult over the age of 50 that you're looking for a job and they're frothing at the mouth to offer insight bc they think your young and/or lazy ass has never even conceived what they're about to tell you. and it's printing your resume onto a very disposable piece of paper and walking into the workplace and handing it to a random employee

[lucifers-horror-harem]

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Every morning in the torture dungeon, the torturer (love your job and you’ll never work a day in your life) goes around greeting his victims with, “wakey wakey begs and achey.”

[lucifers-horror-harem]

was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man

[lucifers-horror-harem]

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Can i get an inteligent man bitch to show me how to make xbox gifs

[lucifers-horror-harem]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way