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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Sex And Enforced Chastity

Almost everything blogged about male chastity discusses sex. It makes sense, since there are few interesting things to talk about when locked up with no stimulation. However, if you go by the various blogs and forums, caged males are getting a lot more sex than guys who are not into chastity. That might actually be true.

Be that as it may, the entire point of being caged is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. In many cases, the caged male ends up waiting for orgasms longer than he would if he could take things into his own hands. When I began my lockup, one of the things that surprised Mrs. Lion was that I had regularly masturbated throughout our marriage. Her libido has always been lower than mine and I “filled in” between opportunities to orgasm with her. Of course, now that I am caged, I can’t masturbate at all.

That brings me to the first sexual issue that a couple entering in a enforced male chastity experience has to confront. What is the appropriate amount of orgasms the caged male should get? This question is where the rubber meets the road between the male chastity fantasies, and the cold reality of long-term lockup.

Frequency: making him wait is power Most male chastity fantasies imagine few if any orgasms. The male is locked up and must spend the rest of his life sexually satisfying the keyholder while he never ejaculates again. Few males actually live out this fantasy. I certainly don’t and never want to!

Let’s go to the other extreme: daily orgasms. When we first started, Mrs. Lion reasoned that if she owned my penis and controlled my orgasms, then she could make me come every day. So, she tried that. One problem for me was that at my age I really don’t want a daily orgasm. Another was that my lockup was pointless. She was giving me more orgasms than I wanted so if she left me wild (out of my cage) there was absolutely no chance I would want to do anything sexual without her. She exercised her power by giving me more sex than I wanted.

I had to accept her reasoning. I did surrender sexual control to her. It’s her choice to decide what that means. The fact that it didn’t conform to my personal chastity fantasy had nothing to do with her power over me. I did manage to convince her that perhaps making me wait would be more in line with what I had in mind when we started. She agreed.

If you are new to enforced chastity, chances are very good that you are wondering how to use your lockup to best advantage. So the first point is that as keyholder, you want to instill in your caged male that if and when he orgasms is completely up to you. You also want him to understand that if you are not happy with him, he will not orgasm. To send this message, you have to make him want sex so badly that he will do anything to get you to make him come. For some men, particularly young ones, this can take a week (never less!). For older men, the wait may need to be two, three, or even four weeks. Whatever time it takes to make him desperate for release, that is how long he should have to wait. You will be surprised how many positive attitude changes these waits will produce.

Some males insist that after they orgasm, they revert to their former, inconsiderate selves. That is possible, but definitely curable. The obvious cure that he will almost certainly suggest, is to never let him come again. Oh boy! There’s that fantasy again. More practically, if after he comes, his behavior changes for the worse, just add at least a week to his wait. He won’t think it is a big deal if he had come recently. That’s ok. Just smile when he comments. As time goes by, he will begin to realize what a big deal it really is.

Remember, in terms of your power as keyholder, time is on your side. It may take a year to get it through his head, but your male will learn that he really needs sex and anything he does to make you extend his waits is just not worth the bad behavior.

Non-orgasmic activities Many males believe that they will always be horny. If you lock them up and ignore them, they think that their desire to get off will continue to grow. This is true up to a point, but the fact is that if a man or woman is not sexually stimulated, over time the desire for sex will diminish and eventually disappear. That’s why regular, non orgasmic sexual activities are needed to keep him wanting.

It may seem cruel, but a key component of enforced chastity is to keep your caged male in a continuous state of heat. Every day without an orgasm should feel like it is lasting forever and he should grow more and more desperate for release. That, after all, is the real core of all those chastity fantasies. The way to do this is through regular non-orgasmic teasing.

Most keyholders become expert cock teases. They learn how to bring their males within millimeters of an orgasm and then stopping. This is a technique every new keyholder must develop. The most common, and easiest way, is by masturbating him. The setup for this is up to you. Some keyholders restrain the male’s hands during this activity. Most don’t. Males have to exercise self control.

Ok, you have him naked and on his back. Remove his cage. While its off, check for chafing or irritation. If you find any, consider leaving him unlocked until it heals. Once uncaged, masturbate him. Watch him carefully. If you want, tell him to let you know when he is close. You can tell him that if he has an “accident” he will stay locked with no teasing for a month. Get him to help you, but don’t necessarily believe him in the beginning.

Tease him any way you want. The objective is to get him close to orgasm without letting him get release. Getting him very aroused is just as good as bringing him right to the edge. While he may think it is for his fun, your real objective is to keep those hormones flowing and reminding his body of what it is missing. You can do this over and over as many times as you want. If you keep it up long enough, he will actually lose the ability to come for a while. Just remember, no orgasms until his release date!

When you are done, lock him up again, pat his butt and send him on his way. Or, if you like, lock him up and have him lick or finger you to as many orgasms as you like. Just be sure to lock him up first. He could be humping the bed to orgasm while he licks you.

Ruined Orgasms A ruined orgasm is when you stimulate your male just over the edge and stop. You will see him react strongly but appear not to orgasm. However, within ten seconds you will see semen dripping out of his penis. You have triggered his orgasmic physical reaction but haven’t given his body enough stimulation to complete all of the steps needed for a full male orgasm. The semen dripping out is caused by the fact that ejaculation was signaled, but you stopped before the stimulation needed to get his PC muscle to squirt it out was triggered.

A lot of males will insist this is not really an orgasm and they are as horny after having one as they were before it happened. Mentally this may be true, but physically it isn’t. One of the key contributors to feeling horny for males is the need to ejaculate. Physically and psychologically, ejaculation is the objective of orgasm. Mrs. Lion has given me quite a few ruined orgasms. They do not feel very good. I don’t like the sensation at all. But I can also feel that they do “reset” some of the urgency I was feeling before I ejaculated. This is true of all males. Some may insist it isn’t true, but physiologically it is.

There is a place for ruined orgasms. If you want to assert your power very graphically, instead of a full orgasm on his next release date, give him a ruined one, then lock him up again for his waiting period. This is massively frustrating for the male. He will hate it. But it will remind him that he is completely dependent on you for sex of any kind; even ruined orgasms.

I’ve been asked how to give a male a ruined orgasm. It’s not difficult. Start by masturbating him until he gets very excited and appears that he is close to coming. Stop. Wait a full ten seconds. If no semen appears, masturbate him again until he seems ready to come. Wait ten seconds. Repeat and add a few strokes. The ten second wait assures that if he does start to orgasm, you won’t accidentally give him a full orgasm. Even if he wasn’t ready to come, starting again only ten seconds later will drive him closer and closer. If at any point he seems to be coming. Stop stimulation immediately and wait. If semen drips out, you are done. It’s that simple.

Based on my experience, I suggest you reserve ruined orgasms as substitutes for full ones. Don’t use them in place of teasing. No semen should be produced until you decide he has waited long enough. Here is a video that demonstrates how to give a ruined orgasm.

Sex for the keyholder As keyholder, all this male sex and teasing may make you horny. One of the best benefits of having a caged male is his interest in providing you with lots of orgasms. His wish to do this is driven by two powerful forces: One is his desire to convince you to get him off. In his mind, giving you an orgasm might put you in the mood to give him one. The other reason is more subtle; giving you orgasms is sex and even though he doesn’t get to come, he can still experience the pleasure of giving you orgasms.

Regardless of his state of waiting, feel free to have him provide you with sexual attention whenever you want. But, don’t let him push you into getting more attention than you desire. A lot of males will try to deal with their frustration by convincing their keyholders to orgasm frequently. Take sex from him when you want, not when he wants.

One tricky subject is intercourse. Up to now the only male stimulation we have talked about is using your hand to masturbate him. There is a good reason for this: Any other form of stimulation is very difficult to control and will likely result in an unplanned “accident” for him. So in the beginning, any non-orgasmic sex for him should probably be restricted to your hand.

Some keyholders train their males to hold back orgasms. They do this by having their males penetrate them and provide only the keyholder with an orgasm. This is tough for males to do. All of us have been conditioned to come when we are ready. If you want to train him not to come, you will have to add punishment to your chastity activities. He has to know that an “accident” will result in punishment. Many keyholders spank males immediately after they have an accident. This is no play spanking. A hairbrush or paddle is used to provide a very painful lesson each time he comes without permission. Since his accident removed his interest in sex for a while, the spanking will be pure punishment with no sexual overtones.

If you are inclined to do this training, you can help your male learn with some teaching aids. One good one is the use of condoms. A couple of condoms will reduce his sensitivity and make it easier for him to control himself. Another good one is desensitizing cream. These creams like Oragel contain Novocaine or other anesthetics that actually numb the penis and eliminate any pleasurable sensation from intercourse. If you do use a numbing product on him, wait at least ten minutes after applying it before you let him inside you. It takes at least that long for the anesthetic to take full effect Also, put a condom on him or the cream left on his penis will put your vagina to sleep. There is nothing wrong with training aids to help him learn to use his penis for your pleasure, not his. By the way, if you numb him too much he will lose his erection and be unable to get one again until the anesthetic wears off.

Summary The main point of enforced chastity is to transfer control of the caged male’s sexual pleasure from him to his keyholder. It is a power exchange. As keyholder you need to maintain his sexual desire throughout his waiting time. He has to be desperate for release in order for him to truly feel sexually controlled. To keep him that way, you will need to stimulate him on a regular basis without providing him the opportunity to orgasm or ejaculate.

An ultimate expression of your power is to replace his scheduled orgasm with a ruined one. This is very frustrating to the male and will imprint strongly that you, in fact, own his pleasure. Since ruined orgasms do reset his physical need for orgasm, if not his mental one, they should not be intentionally given before his scheduled release date.

Sex for you is independent of his pleasure. You should use him to give you orgasms whenever you desire them. If you want intercourse without him ejaculating, you will have to train him to hold back. This can be done through punishment for accidents and with training aids: multiple condoms and/or numbing cream.

Your male has asked you to control his ability to get sexual pleasure. It’s up to you to assert that control and have fun in the process!

From: https://malechastityjournal.com/caging-your-man/sex-and-enforced-chastity/

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.

Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”–punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.

The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)

Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.

Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.

Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being.

NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.

Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive.

Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.

Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.

Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.

Humiliation

A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across.

Clothing Restriction

Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.

Diapering

For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.

Sissification

Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems.

Public Humiliation

Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is simply that–controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging

Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.

Toy Restriction

For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.

Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal–either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm.

Denial

Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.

Chastity

Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores

Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!

Furniture Restriction

Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.

Caging

Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.

Bedtime

A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.

Time-Out

Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.

Objectification

Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.

Dietary Restriction

If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.

Speech Restriction

For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact

If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes.

Rice Kneeling

Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.

Figging

Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments

Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines

Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.

Apology Letter

An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.

Essay

An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.

Homework

Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you–because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!

xx SF

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Introducing Male Chastity Play

My name is Ella, I am 36 years old and I work for an insurance company. My husband, deliberately not named, is 37 years old and works as a senior engineer. We have been happily married for 12 years, with two daughters, and I am created this site to share my experiences and advice for Tease and Denial and Male Chastity. (If you are not married, please mentally replace husband with boyfriend when reading this website, it all applies just the same.) As you are reading this website, I am assuming your husband or boyfriend has told you that he wants to try something called male chastity play with you, or you have heard about it somewhere and have suggested it to him. Either you have found this website through a search engine, or you have been sent the link. Your first reaction probably was surprise. Why would he want chastity? What does he want me to do?

Step 1: relax! When you read through these paragraphs (I kept it short, I promise!) you will understand why chastity is a fun, exciting idea for the two of you to try. You may find it’s simply that - a fun game to spice things up in your sex life. You may also find that male chastity brings a new closeness and renewed desire to you as a couple. Before you continue reading, make sure you have nothing else planned for a little while and that you are not distracted by anything. Relax, take your time, and try to be as open-minded as you can.

To get started, I recommend reading this 101 article. You will need to make notes - digitally or on paper, as to do this properly there are some things you need to choose and then write down.

After this 101, I do recommend you read through subsequent articles linked here, as there is more detail on some key topics, and the more you know, the better you will be at this!

But… First, what is male chastity play?

Simply put, the man uses a so-called chastity device to lock his penis, and then he gives the key to his partner, making her what is called a “keyholder”. Chastity devices are sex toys made of plastic or metal that lock around the penis, making it impossible for him to masturbate or get an erection. In chastity play, the keyholder (you) has the power to decide when to unlock the device and when to allow him sexual pleasure. That can be five times a day or five times a year. The ‘game’ of it is the transmission of ‘power’ regarding his sexual pleasure.

You may not typically be the ‘dominant’ sexual partner in the relationship, but in chastity play it is essential that you assume this position - even if you are just acting or role-playing initially until it becomes the norm. He is not giving you inanimate metal keys - he’s giving you possession to his sexual release and the position of power. Enjoy it! Embrace it and take charge.

I have always felt that being well informed about something enables you to do it well. There is a lot on the internet on chastity, and there are several internet forums and chat rooms which seem to start up and die down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands locked. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There was a Canadian newspaper article in 2019 stating that 6% of men are caged with the key given to their wife. This just goes to show that male chastity is less rare than you probably thought and there is a lot of it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.

There are two major types of chastity - ‘play’ and ‘lifestyle’. Play is relatively short term and used as part of sex play and diversity. Short term, in my view, falls into the category of 2-week to 3-month lock ups. This is where most couples’ chastity journeys start. It’s vital that the first lockup is at least 2-3 weeks, and is 24 hours a day for that period. Read why here. No ‘nighttime only’ or ‘daytime only’ - the lockup period must be erection and orgasm free.

Even in short term play, chastity has to be a 24/7 thing. 24/7 is the foundation; it is the most positive/enjoyable/effective because the cage is a constant reminder about the power exchange. Most of the day, the male will forget about it and only be subconsciously aware that anything is different. However when they do get a tingle of sexual excitement - for whatever reason, Boom - they are reminded that their erections (and more importantly, sexual release) belongs to you. That’s what’s fun about Tease and Denial (T&D). Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. But it’s a little secret you two share - a fun, slightly ‘naughty’ way to mix up the relationship’s ‘sexual dominance’.

What are the benefits of Male Chastity?

The motivation why a couple would want to begin with male chastity play is straightforward: It is simply a sexual fantasy or sexual experimentation to mix things up. With the dramatic rise in popularity in chastity play over the last five years - with story arcs in mainstream media (Californication), articles in The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Vice…), it may have piqued their interest as something fun to try.

he large global movement called “Locktober” is practically everywhere, and is an entry point for many males and females who want to experiment in this way.

Or it is a matter of circumstance that allows for a different style of sexual ‘play’ - long distance relationships, work trips or other reasons where vanilla lovemaking is limited/not possible.

For males, chastity play can be very VERY exciting. For the male, chastity play is about having a relationship where male orgasms are limited but erotic heat is abundant. As part of the game, he is giving up something that is a very standard part of a male’s life, his freedom to masturbate. Young men have an abundance of testosterone, so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband losing sexual desire for at least a couple days. Male masturbation can create an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very selfish and self-serving way. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido.

Males in chastity will almost always have increased energy. Noticed he hits the gym more? Trimming the body fat? Need less sleep? More productive? Yup. Other changes will likely happen too. He will be more focused and task-oriented. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. This is because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases, he will divert that energy towards pleasing you - especially if he has asked you to be his keyholder, rather than you coming up with the idea to keep him locked. His non-stop offers of massages and oral sex are a very welcome side effect of the redirection of his sexual energy.

What do I actually ‘do’ as a Keyholder?

Chastity is just that, chastity. There is no need to entertain other kinks your husband may have if you don’t want to. In fact, it is likely that your husband doesn’t even expect you to do anything more than hold his key. Just be yourself and do what you want. It doesn’t have to become a time sink and your life doesn’t need to revolve around your husband’s desire for chastity.

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s erections, orgasms and his ability to play with his cock whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge turn on.

The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the change of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for couples to play. The more aroused a locked male stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.

Being a keyholder involves:

1. Holding the keys and controlling when and how release takes place (see links) 2. Setting and communicating your keyholding rules at the start of the first lockup. 3. Teasing - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.

Let’s look at some of this in more detail.

Teasing

You don’t have to be an expert at sexual teasing or spend loads of time learning how to become one. Chastity with teasing keeps the arousal and positive energy / endorphins / oxytocin at ideal levels. Chastity without teasing will lead to frustration and grumpiness - pretty soon the game will be up.

So, teasing is essential to keep your husband’s arousal peaking, but there are plenty of simple ways to do that which don’t require a lot of time. It’s important to remember that you and not him will be the one making the (bedroom) decisions once he is locked. There are no fixed rules how often you should test him, unlock him or let him ejaculate, and chastity does not need to change your everyday life, certainly not outside of the bedroom. I would suggest you give it a try and then just go with the flow.

Teasing Ideas

So how do you do ‘teasing’? I don’t mean making fun of him. We’re not in middle school. I mean turning him on, only it’s teasing because he can’t get hard, let alone have an orgasm. It’s the ultimate cock tease and it makes chastity play so much more satisfying for you and your man.

The great thing about male chastity play is how little effort it takes you, as the keyholder. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up. Make it a rule that he is not allowed to ask for it. In bed at night, roll over and tease for a bit. Then say goodnight. Other nights - do nothing, say nothing. That is half of the fun - for you and for him! Look at the list below and jot down some of the ones that appeal to you…

Some simple teasing ideas: 1: Non-physical - Talk about it: Talk about his chastity cage. Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a ‘cage check’ at random times… The simple act of talking about it will drive him crazy! Men are hilarious. - Choose his underwear for him. Tell him to wear a particular color, or tell him to wear the tight white ones, the compression shorts, swimsuit… or no underwear today…whatever. You’re taking control, and that’s hot. - Tell him to sleep naked every now and again - Even wear some sexy outfits and parading around will drive him crazy!

2: Physical - Play with his balls. Even while locked, his balls are exposed, unless you have a full chastity belt where the balls are locked too. With his cock locked, his balls become infinitely more sensitive. Stroke / tickle to start, but then squeeze and pull. Then slap. Start slowly and build up the slapping in intensity, and tell him to tell you when to stop. Then start again..! Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.

- Play with the Cage: while most cages do a great job of making erections and orgasms impossible, playing with his cage is a great way to tease him. If it’s an enclosed cage (better in my view) then he will not be able to feel anything at all if you are stroking it - but he will imagine it and it will blow his mind. Any exposed parts will become hyper-sensitive, so touching them or poking/licking… you name it - will drive him the best kind of crazy.

- Kissing: It’s the fastest way to turn him on and he’ll never turn it down. Even though he knows his cock is going to ache because it can’t get hard, he loves to kiss. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.

- Body contact: Make him worship your body – This is an absolute must when he’s locked up. He craves your body. He craves you. Have him worship it. Have him kiss you all over. Have him give you a massage.

- Nipple play: men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!

- Shower with him: Ask him to rub lotion on you or whatever you prefer. Being locked naked with you in the shower will blow his mind. - ‘Have and Hold’: If you want to unlock him as part of teasing, a fun one is to make him stand next to the bed or across the room, and unlock the cage. Once the cage is off, he is not allowed to touch his cock. He will almost certainly get hard. You carry on with reading or whatever you were doing and tell him to inform you when he has gone soft. Make the odd comment and watch to see how easily you can make him react. As soon as he is soft, tell him to relock the cage.

- Anal play: You may know that men have a P-spot near their prostate which is similar to the female G-spot, although most hetersexual males never use it. My husband is not into anal play, so I don’t have much experience there, but there are some incredible resources out there if it’s your cup of tea!

- Finally, if you want to play with his cock while unlocked as part of teasing, I’ll drop some notes on the ‘Release’ over here. Focus on edging and the touchless release (if you really want to give him a treat). Remember - teasing means no cumming. A little bit every day or every couple of days will form the foundation of your chastity play!

Basic Keyholder Rules

At the start of the first lockup, you need to set rules. Writing them down and send them to him on email or text message is the easiest. That way he has them at all times. And send them to him at work while he’s locked and you will really get him squirming! Or you can inform him in person. These are your rules and are not a discussion - he has asked you to be the keyholder, so he must play by your rules or you call the whole thing off.

The most typical rules for keyholders are as simple as this:

The Wife can choose the chastity device.

It’s not called a cock or penis or whatever when it’s locked. Come up with a name for his locked cock. Tell him that is what it is called from now on. The most common name is 'nub’, so feel free to use that. And it’s ‘your’ nub, your balls etc, not his. Make sure he gets that right.

The Wife will hold the keys to the chastity device and will not make them accessible to the Husband.

The Wife decides when the Husband will be unlocked, allowed and erection, or allowed release. Separate the concept of ‘unlock= orgasm or'unlock=erection’. In most cases it’s none of those.

The Husband will not ask for release and there will be no discussions about chastity unless the Wife brings it up. Infringements can be extending lockup or some other forfeit ;)

Chastity play will not intrude into the Wife’s daily life or restrict her own sexual satisfaction.

The couple will give chastity a try for at least 3 months. First timers should lockup for 3 weeks at least and then evaluate / discuss. The keyholder does not have to (and should not) tell the planned release date. Keep him guessing.

That’s it: give it a go!

Give it a shot! You don’t have anything to lose, it may add a new level of intimacy to your relationship, and you will have a lot of fun doing it. I promise. Show your love to your husband, have sex freely and frequently, tease him, be playful and enjoy each other. The only thing you need to do is control is his ejaculations. Getting comfortable with male chastity can be challenging at first but it won’t be long until it becomes a normal everyday component of your relationship. Having talked to many women, the most common regret was that they didn’t start male chastity much earlier!

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Chastity Words of Encouragement

Chastity…

If Your husband/boyfriend or special gurl or sissy has asked You lock him in chastity, You may think he is asking you to do some sexually perverted, kinky, thing that You don’t understand and don’t want to understand because it is sick and perverted. The fact is, he is not sick and perverted, he just wants to have fun, sexually.

There was a time in Your marriage when sex was fun and exciting for You, too. Wasn’t there? He just wants to get that back again. He is not asking You to do anything that is difficult, or perverted. He is asking You to play a game with him. A sexual game in which You control when and how he has sex. That’s all. So give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much fun You, Yourself, can have

Chastity is an amazing fetish. Most people think it’s some kind of punishment or chore, but it isn’t. The feelings you receive from abstaining from orgasm are just sublime. Guys feel aroused right up until the point where they orgasm, then everything is reset to zero after orgasm they’re no longer turned on and in order to become even remotely aroused they have to wait again for the feelings to kick in.

Well, what if they didn’t orgasm. What if they didn’t masturbate every evening? What if they abstained from orgasms altogether? Would the feelings of arousal increase and increase? Yes. Yes they would. Which is why chastity is an immensely popular fetish.

Chastity popularity

It is such an intimate act to show trust in his partner for a man to hand over the key to his “crown jewels“ and to allow him to be locked up, to await “HER” pleasure. It is quite surprising that so many people have dabbled with the man wearing a chastity device, and they are the second most often bought sex toys after vibrators.

Chastity - A Joint Decision

For chastity to work well it has to be a joint decision. If you’re both eager to try chastity then the belt or device you choose should also appeal to your wife. It’s no good you buying an expensive belt and she hates the sight of it.

Some women find the transparency of the CB-6000, CB-6000s or the Curve nicely displays the enslaved penis, many would-be keyholders like the quality and hygiene of a stainless steel device. Other women like the thought of the traditional Florentine style belts believing they are more secure.

Others initially prefer to go for something like the Stallion Guard as a low cost device to experiment with before deciding on a more secure belt or cage. There are keyholders who like to allow and see the penis fully erect whilst it’s encased, belts and devices most suited to this concept, known as “penile negation”, include the Samurai and Caterpillar cock cages from Mr S. Neither of these 2 devices can be considered long term wear, however, they’re an ideal purchase as an additional chastity device to your collection, and allow your keyholder the opportunity to employ different techniques of teasing.

Some keyholders love these devices because they relish the sight of a fully erect, straining cock unable to escape.

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

This isn’t as kinky as it sounds

If your sex life to date has been restricted to intercourse and perhaps mutual masturbation, chastity play can sound like something pretty weird. It isn’t. Nothing has to change about how you make love; what changes is when. The partner who wears the chastity belt has given the partner who has the “key” the ability to decide when sex can take place. Since most chastity devices effectively prevent masturbation, it means one partner gives the other control of all orgasms. This can be a great deal of fun for both people.

Chastity play allows you to take sex out of the bedroom in a subtle way that only the two of you will know. For example, if a woman has her male partner locked up, they can agree on “rules” he should follow, such as “he must always stand when she enters the room.” If when they are out with friends he forgets, she can smile and hold some fingers up and he will know he stays locked up that many more days until he can get release.

If you don’t think this is incredibly hot to both partners, just try it! You won’t believe how exciting a dull relationship can become overnight. Take a few minutes and use your imagination. Fun, huh?

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have been used throughout the ages in order to prevent sexual intercourse. Classically, chastity has been forced upon someone using a belt type mechanic, but in recent times, more concealable and localized devices are able to be used in order to prevent the ability to touch and interact with sexual organs. In addition to the modern interpretation of how to perform chastity, a sexual fetish has developed. Individuals now enjoy the prospect of being locked up and unable to perform sexual activities unless the other person who’s chastised them allows it.

Chastity and Confinement for Men

Chastity for men is the most common form, with blocks of specially formed plastic being placed around the penis with a small lock attached for keeping it closed. Some male chastity devices make it impossible or highly painful to experience an erection, aiding the experience of being denied sexual pleasure. One major element of chastity is the understanding that eventually, the device will be removed. The sexual fetish is undesirable if the wearer believes that they will never be allowed to experience an orgasm again. As expected, chastity is an exchange of a power dynamic, with one person assuming the role of being in charge and the other being submissive and completely subject to the will of the other person.

Chastity for couples

Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

Taking control of one small aspect of your relationship - The sex. By utilizing a chastity device, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want….it will work.

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit.

Couple chastity

If you’re in a committed relationship, but you want to really turn up the heat in your sex play, then chastity could be the answer for you. Many couples engage in chastity as a means of getting back the desire they felt in the early days of their relationship, when they couldn’t wait to have sex, and it lasted for hours not minutes. A time when they were always on each other’s mind.

Chastity is also a choice for many couples when the man has been unfaithful, or has been caught masturbating to internet porn. He may choose chastity as a way to demonstrate his commitment, reassure his partner, and enhance their relationship. This is a precious pledge for any man, and the thought of this alone can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

There is no doubt about it, chastity play results in superior sexual satisfaction! Trying to earn a release, the bottom will be much more attentive to his partner’s needs. Without being distracted by his own selfish wants, his sole focus is pleasuring his Keyholder. He will demonstrate his ability and affection to his partner, going above and beyond in the hope of an ultimate ‘release’.. Remember; the couple that plays together stays together!

Chastity and relantionship

There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something..

Primary benefits of enforced male

1. It prevents him from masturbating. Male masturbation is a filthy habit. It’s addictive, selfish, and disrespectful to women. Chronic masturbation has the effect of substantially diminishing a man’s natural sexual desire for his wife of girlfriend. It unfortunately teaches him that his orgasm is primary, and hers is secondary.

2. Because he can’t even get an erection without her permission, it instantly changes the dynamics of the relationship.

3. It keeps his sexual focus and energy on his wife or girlfriend.

4. It will substantially increase his desire to orally service his wife or girlfriend.

5. If he’s never been an ass-eater, after having his penis locked up for a few weeks, he will be.

6. It serves as a constant reminder to him of her authority.

7. Because it makes his orgasms entirely dependent on her generosity, it positively incentives him to honor her, respect her, and motivates him to please.

8. It gives him the time and opportunity to substantially improve and perfect his oral skills.

9. It reinforces the idea that pussy is a precious gift that must be earned, and is to be savored and appreciated on those rare occasions when he does get it.

10. It teaches him that sexual activity with his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with his penis.

11. It deepens his submission to her, and will cause him to worship the ground she walks on.

12. It will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker.

13. It helps prepares him for the eventuality of anal penetration, and getting the strap-on. Because his penis isn’t being sexually stimulated, it has the effect of gradually turning other parts of his body into erogenous zones, particularly his anus and his prostate. With patience and persistence, he can be trained to orgasm from stimulation in that region via your finger, or the strap-on.

14. If his orgasms are consistently controlled and severely restricted, he will eventually get to the point where he will do just about anything to cum. You’ll be amazed by what he’ll do for you.

Chastity - power to the woman

This voluntary act in which the man shows his trust and hands over the key to his most precious possessions to her who will then decide when he is to be released. This is an action which gives enormous power to the woman in a relationship, or the supervisor on our course and it is a gift from him to her.

It is a sexual act which frees him from the ability to pleasure himself and frees him to learn how to please his partner and thus be allowed pleasure himself.

It sounds from this description a strange and “kinky “activity, but surprisingly the approach has wide acceptance as a method to improve male performance and pleasure.

The Mental Game of Chastity

The power exchange exists in the realm of the minds so to the submissive male, being denied can provide him with more mental pleasure and more mental fulfillment than a physical orgasm.

The aroused and denied male will spend more time in subspace and thus his mind will be on a mental sphere where the female rules supreme in his life and he is much more eager to serve the female.

The mental stimulation should touch a man’s psychological triggers, which will stimulate him sexually. It is that mental stimulation that causes an intense power exchange and that can make sex more pleasurable for the woman both physically and mentally while at the same time fulfilling the male need to be dominated.

Chastity and BDSM

Chastity is a fantastic pawn in the BDSM game. It is a great tool for tease and denial, and can be implemented as an incredibly effective punishment/reward scheme. Dominants that have never fully engaged in chastity play, will have almost certainly at some point employed a ‘permission to cum?’ policy. So, what’s the difference? Well chastity play takes this concept one step further and gives the Key Holder full control over their slave’s orgasms. Many people who love to engage in BDSM have not yet discovered the joys of chastity

Locked in Chastity for BDSM

Key Holder is a term used to describe the dominant woman in a male chastity agreement. Many couples are into BDSM and male chastity is one of the many methods that these women use to dominate their men. Some men are more turned on the more they are ordered around.

The woman will tease the man while he has a male chastity device on and she is the only one who has the key to open it and award him with a release. Discuss it with your partner in detail and decide if you want your chastity to be long term or short term.

If you are just starting out, you should ease into it before you commit to being locked in. If you enter into it before you are ready it will likely prolong the process.

“be careful what you wish for”

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them…”be careful what you wish for”.

If some of the husbands were given a choice to go back to their old ways they would, but none of the wives would.

Deep down the caged men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his.

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Some fun ideas for a couple into chastity

Here are some ideas, and some advice to couples that are exploring a female led relationship that involves chastity. These are not “advanced techniques” and I don’t claim to be an expert, but in the 6 years we have played in the lifestyle, these are some of the more important things I have learned. If you are looking to completely dominate your husband in every aspect of your life, this is probably not the article for you. If you are interested in having a more fun, kinky, and exciting sex life, along with a little more control in the household, and help your husband be a better partner to you, this may help.

How long should he be locked?

I truly believe that it should be up to the keyholder and her alone, but some people like to switch things up, so here are some fun ways to let fate decide.

Determine the number of orgasm he has to give the keyholder before he earns an orgasm.

The keyholder could require him to provide her with 10 oral, 10 using a vibrator, and 10 using his cock before he earns the right to have his own. Or 20 using his fingers and 5 using his mouth, and 5 with a dildo, or strap on, you get the idea.

How about adding one day every time he has an orgasm, so if he made it 21 days this time he has to wait 22 next time.

There is a myriad of dice games that could be used. If you Google dice chastity game, you can find an endless supply.

Marbles seem to be another favorite, again if you Google marble chastity game, there are plenty to choose from.

I think a really fun one is to use trivia to determine his lock up time. While lying in bed the keyholder can ask a series of questions about anything she likes really, and for every answer the sub gets wrong he gets a day or a week or whatever time period the keyholder desires locked in chastity, this is fun because the keyholder is still determining the lock up time, by the number of questions or how hard they are. Try Keyholder trivia, she can ask questions about what she likes, you can both have fun and learn what makes your keyholder happy!

I also think that it is a big turn on for the sub to know that regardless what the “game” determines should be the lock up time, that he knows it is ultimately what his keyholder decides, so when the time arrives that he has earned his orgasm, simply tell him, “I know you were supposed to have an orgasm today, but I have decided to keep you locked another few days.”

Fun things for the Keyholder to say to keep the sub excited. I think it is important for the keyholder to remember that for the sub in chastity, it is a 24/7 commitment, and sometimes all it takes is the smallest reminder from his keyholder to get his libido back up and racing and keep it exciting for him.

“Tonight sweetie, you can be my little brown noser.”

“Oh! Sweetie, your cage looks tight and uncomfortable! Oh well, you will just have to suffer for me.”

“You haven’t thanked me for locking up your cock and controlling your orgasms for you in quite a while. Do you have anything to say to me?”

After he has given you an orgasm orally, you could say, “Sweetie you are getting so good with your tongue, pretty soon I will never have to unlock your cock!”

After inspecting his cage to make sure he is secure, you could say something like, “Hmmm, maybe we should get a size smaller.”

“Sweetie I seem to have lost the key, oh well, we won’t be needing it for a long time anyway.”

“Denying you is so much more fun than letting you orgasm, I might never let you cum again!”

Every time you lock his device, you should say something like, “Now thank me for controlling your orgasms,” or, “There we go, my cock is locked up again, until the next time I need it.”

You get the idea, anything to remind him that you are in control will excite him and keep him happy for quite a while.

Tease and Denial: I think this is the most important part of chastity and also a successful female led relationship. There are numerous entire web sites and articles with ideas out there, so I will let you find your own fun ideas, but I would like to remind you that it doesn’t have to last only an hour, there are ways to tease your sub all day without having to lift a finger.

1. Have him shave all his pubic hair. It is more comfortable wearing a cage when you are shaved anyway. Every time his goes to the bathroom it will be another reminder of your control.

2. Assign him to make you a sex toy, or bondage device, like a leg spreader, or install eye bolts to tie him off to.

3. Assign him a list of chores you want complete, with the knowledge that if they are not done he will be punished.

4. Make him clean the house dressed as a woman.

5. Have him hand wash your panties and lingerie.

6. Have him run an errand for you wearing a butt plug.

7. Tell him you need new panties and you want him to buy them for you. When He gives them to you, tell him you think they will look better on him, and make him wear them.

8. Before he leaves for work, make him lick your pussy and tell him that he has the privilege of smelling you every time he inhales now.

9. You can set rules for him, like having to ask to use the bathroom, or having to address you as mistress or princess for the day.

Punishments: Punishments can be fun, or they can be just that, Punishments. I think any female led relationship should have both. Just having “fun” punishments promotes behavior from the sub that is unacceptable, because he enjoys the punishment and acts up in order to get it. For punishments that are meant to correct behavior or habits, he should be aware that you are truly unhappy with what he has done, that you love him very much, and that the punishment is meant to hurt. After the punishment reinforce that you love him, and you did what you did to help him be a better partner. I can say 100% of the time that your partner will love you for it, gain respect for you in the relationship, and be far more excited because it now seems real to him. With just playful punishments, he may still view this as a game. Here are some playful punishments:

1. Have him lick your ass, as you watch TV or read a book. Make sure to give him plenty of direction and encouragement, and tease him a bit as well. Lets face it, sex is 90% mental. Say things like, “I love my little brown noser,” or “get your tongue in there or that cage stays locked for another week.” It’s important that you make do a good job, not just lick your butt cheeks, the excitement for the sub is all mental, being made to lick your ass, the punishment part is making him really do it.

2. During a teasing session, if he starts moving too much or getting overly close to orgasm, take off your panties, put the gusset on his face and tell him they can keep him company while you go get a drink.

3. Have him run you a bath, wash your body, lotion your legs, dress you, even paint your toe nails. Keep it exciting for him by telling him how happy you are he is in chastity, and how you would hate to lose his enthusiasm, so you may never remove the device.

4. Have him wear panties and stockings to work under his work clothes, no one but you and he will know. He will be on high alert all day hoping no one notices. You can text him from time to time to remind him of his situation!

5. If he keeps asking to be let out of his cage, take off your panties and gag him with them.

6. Play a little trivia game with him, tie his hands up, play with him until he is excited, and ask him if he knows how to please you, he will of course say yes, then you can say “great! We are going to play a game, I will ask you some questions about me, when you are right I will stroke your cock, when you are wrong, I will slap it.” Ask away! You can ask him anything from your favorite color to your favorite sexual position!

7. Tens units are a lot of fun as well, as they can be used to provide great pleasure, or a small amount of pain. They can make a great training tool used correctly.

8. Take all his boring male underwear, and replace them with panties, and tell him he has to earn his underwear back, and he should wear the panties till he does.

9. Hoods can be a lot of fun. Get one with a gag and use some ear plugs and he won’t know when or where you are going to give him pleasure (or pain).

10. Spankings of course are a favorite, using your hand or a paddle its pretty tough to really hurt him, so spank away. Careful with some of the switches or canes, as you can actually draw blood with enough force.

11. If he comes without permission, I consider that a pretty serious offense. The whole idea of the relationship is that he is giving you control of his orgasms, if he takes that back, its just a sex game to him again. If he is unable to control himself any more, he should be able to talk to you seriously and explain the situation and let YOU decide when and how he orgasms. Taking it upon himself is unacceptable. He should get a serious punishment, be locked back up, in his cage immediately, and made to lick up his mess.

12. Ruined orgasms can be very effective. There are plenty of videos and articles on how they work and how to cause them, so I will not go into it, but they take some practice to get it right. When you do get it right, it actually will leave your sub just as horny, but leaves you with the leverage of saying “you just had an orgasm!” You know you did it right if his seed simply flows out with no “burst”, also just watching his face will tell you!

Like I said there has to be more than just fun punishments. Sometimes, he will need to be corrected. This prevents him from “topping from the bottom” or controlling what you have him do. Certainly he has to get some of what he wants, but he should not be able to “force you to force him” that is not how it works, and is not as much fun for him or you. Punishments are also great ways to “tweek” his behavior or attitude towards you, if he is acting moody or speaking disrespectfully to you, simply tell him of your concern, explain what you expect from him, and proceed with the punishment. Its amazing how quickly a good spanking will get a man back in “subspace” where he is loving and respectful. Some punishments can include:

The easiest and usually most effective is spanking. It is both humiliating and a bit painful for the sub. You can use your hand, a hairbrush, cane, switch, paddle, flogger, crop, shoe, anything really. Make sure he knows the reason, make sure he knows you love him, make sure he knows it is going to hurt. When its done hug him, tell him again you love him, and reinforce with him that you don’t want that behavior to continue, as it is upsetting his keyholder.

You can put spikes in his chastity cage. Be careful here as I have heard of some people actually getting a bruised or cut penis from some of the spikes available for some devices.

Being tied in an uncomfortable position for a period of time. This can really be painful and uncomfortable, and gives the sub time to reflect on what he did.

Prolonging his release date. Yep, that’s pretty effective. Although it really only works if you have a set release date.

Withholding teasing sessions. What your sub craves most of all is your attention, so withholding it is about the worst thing that you can do to him. Be careful here though because after a few days in chastity your sub is going to be pretty emotionally vulnerable, and could easily feel neglected by being ignored. So, if you are withholding your attention make sure he knows why and that he is just not being put on the back burner for something more important than he.

When you feel the time comes for your sub to have full orgasm I encourage you to let him build up to it, and make it special. I also could not encourage you more, that if you want to continue with his current lock up, that you ask him. That’s right ask him! Say something like, “You have been a very good boy and have earned an orgasm, but I am really enjoying myself, and don’t want to have to start all over, when you are so horny and loving right now. If you ask me to, I will put you back in your device, and I will promise to be more demanding, more cruel, more kinky, and an all around better keyholder.” I would make sure he is right on the edge of an orgasm when you do this as it will really drive him crazy! Be prepared, he will eventually say he needs an orgasm, don’t look at it as him rejecting you, look at it as nature overpowering his need to submit. If he does choose to orgasm, if you would like to continue his chastity, and devotion to you, make sure he puts his device on immediately after he has his orgasm. When a man has an orgasm, he immediately loses all his submissiveness, and it is important to have him in his device to start building it again.

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Her mischievous smile...😍

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Always Make Him Eat His Cum

One great rule in a FLR is mandatory cum eating.

It's really not even meant to be an option.

There's really no excuse not to eat it. It's polite.

But there's more to it than just that. There's multiple reasons on why he should be eating his cum, without being told.

The main reason is because it helps him develop the submissive mindset beyond sexuality.

When he is always submissive, and horny, he ties submission to being horny. So naturally when he gets off, his submission will drop off and he will want a break from submission.

In a FLR there are no breaks from submission that she doesn't agree to. So it's unacceptable for him to not be in the mood to submit, just because he had a full release orgasm.

This actually makes full release orgasms something to fear, and avoid, which isn't very ideal. You don't want to be afraid of certain acts just because it might cause his submission to drop.

Instead, it's time to train him to be submissive, whether he's horny or not. Whether it's sexual or not.

The moment he cums, any ideas and appeal of eating his cum he entertained only moments before, are completely gone.

The idea of eating it now is a turn off, and maybe even gross.

This is a perfect opportunity.

It's the perfect time for him to demonstrate his submission to her, and re-enforce the submissive mindset in his non-horny mind.

It's time to make him eat his cum. Not quickly either. Slowly. Make him wait a few seconds between each lick.

If it was collected in a glass, sip it slowly, and let the taste infiltrate his entire mouth.

He doesn't get to just slurp it up and gone, that's too easy. No, he must savor it, and understand, he will be eating it from now one, every time, every last drop.

This will maintain his submissive mindset through a full release orgasm, and will train his non-horny mind that he's still owned by her. That submission to her is not optional.

It's also a sign of respect for her, to do it without being told, to demonstrate that he knows his place, and will respectfully clean up his own mess, as a sign of gratitude, so she doesn't have to do it.

It's the polite, submissive thing to do.

There are other benefits of this as well, since cum is full of vitamins and minerals, it's a complete and total waste to not eat it. It's healthy, and replenishes the nutrition lost in cumming.

It should be mandatory, and non negotiable. Every time. The bigger the load, the better.

Always make him eat it.

Create the FLR of your dreams with the Practical FLR book series!

Please reblog if you support me as an author.

It helps expand my reach, and shows the world the amazing benefits of a FLR.

Thank you for reading!

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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How to allow Release

Now that you have a few ideas when to let your husband ejaculate, I will briefly discuss how you let him ejaculate. Like always this is totally up to you as the keyholder, but don’t be afraid to be creative!

During Penis-in-Vagina Sex

I discourage this one because I feel that sex and ejaculation need to be separated to avoid accidents. We have sex several times per week and ejaculation is never expected and rarely a topic of conversation. But if you do enjoy the feeling of him ejaculating inside you, then you can of course go ahead and allow him. From there, I put the chastity device back on and then we either fall asleep together or roll over and watch TV together.

Blowjobs

Again, whether you want to give him blowjobs is up to you. Even if you do, you don’t have to keep going until he ejaculates. I personally don’t really enjoy giving blowjobs. I gave him a lot of them before we got married, and even swallowed, but after we got married, I gradually reduced their frequency and limited them to foreplay only. Since we started chastity, I haven’t given him any nor do I plan to do so – and I even like to tease him about the fact that he can only blame himself because he was the one who approached me with the idea of chastity. On the other hand, I know a woman who will only let her boyfriend cum when she gives him a blowjob. Her logic is that blowjobs are his favourite and hence, on the rare occasion that he is allowed release, she wants to give him maximum pleasure.

Handjobs

This is the main method I use to make my husband cum. You want to make it about you and not him. It’s no longer his orgasm, it’s your game – you’ve got control of the joystick and he’s here for your fun. Here are some ideas to spice things up:

Timer

You can allow your husband a certain amount of time, for example, if his last ejaculation was two weeks ago, you could give him two minutes to cum. If he doesn’t make it in time, he will be re-locked and you can tell him with a big grin that he was obviously not horny enough and should be locked up a bit longer next time. Some women challenge themselves to make their man cum as quickly as possible, which with a sufficiently horny man may just take a few seconds! Alternatively, you could give him a handjob but tell him to last at least a certain amount of time. If he doesn’t manage to last long enough, he will be “punished” (you can decide how). You can also combine this with post-orgasm stimulation, for example you tell him you will stimulate him for ten minutes, and even if he comes after five you will keep stroking for the remaining five minutes.

Playful submission

This can be a lot of fun and you can be really creative here. Some ideas:

Give him a handjob while you are acting extremely bored and reading something on your phone

Do it while he is completely naked and you are not

Tell him to put a condom on before you give him a handjob or blowjob. This also avoids a big mess, so strongly recommended!

Tie his hands and blindfold him

Make him please you orally

Make him eat it after he cums

Include the balls

This is something you should probably discuss with your husband first, but it’s a lot of fun. For example, you could frequently interrupt your stroking to give his balls a few slaps, or you could stroke him with one hand while you squeeze his balls with the other one.

Post-orgasm stimulation

This is when you don’t stop stroking after he cums. When a man orgasms, his glans soon begins feeling extra sensitive and wants to be left alone. If you keep stroking and rubbing his glans he will be overwhelmed by the intense feeling. You may need to restrain his hands before! But don’t worry, what you’re doing is completely harmless. I love the irony that he has been looking forward to a handjob for such a long time, and now that I’m doing it it’s suddenly “too much”. Too funny!

Edging

Stimulate your husband until he reaches the edge of orgasm – then pause or dramatically slow down your play to prevent him from climaxing. You can do this many times in a row. This is extremely pleasurable for him, because it prolongs his pleasure and ultimately gives him a much stronger orgasm when compared to regular sex when you finally decide to let him pop – although, of course, you can always change your mind and lock him back up before that happens.

Touchless orgasm / release

This is when you stimulate him until just before the “point of no return” and then remove your hand and stop all stimulation. If you time it right, instead of ejaculating in “bursts”, the semen flows effortlessly down the penis – hence they are also misleadingly called “ruined” orgasms. If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Touchless orgasms are great when you want to give him an orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. Or, if you plan to have an all-night love-making session but you are afraid that he will cum to quickly, you can start your evening with a touchless orgasm. I found this great article explaining why a touchless orgasm means prolonged pleasure for both of you and how to do it (contains explicit pictures!) – some quotes below:

“The so-called “ruined” orgasm is one of the most intensely pleasurable, toe-curling, sweat-inducing, back-arching, fist-clenching, teeth-gnashing, brain-bending tricks you can use in the bedroom to drive your man into an animal sexual frenzy. It is also perhaps the least understood and most underused method of extending and delivering pleasure to both partners. If you can master this you will feel more empowered and satisfied than ever. I promise!!! (…) The Name Is Misleading: It’s Still an Orgasm! (…) A properly ruined orgasm is STILL potentially more intense than a normal orgasm! It’s not “ruined” at all! It feels profoundly different to him, but it still feels great – especially if you use it as a tool to extend your lovemaking! (…) Don’t feel bad about ruining your man’s orgasm!!! I simply cannot say it enough.”

“Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to go limp and enter what doctors call the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated to have sex. (…) But that’s not all. (…) Simply put… a man who’s been ruined once or twice (or more!) in a single night can fuck you harder and longer than you ever thought possible. (…) Basically, a ruined orgasm (or three) multiplies his sexual endurance for the rest of the night, without reducing his desire. In fact, it amplifies his desire, because he gets to experience a higher pleasure plateau than he would normally be capable of experiencing!”

“To bend your man’s brain and give him truly epic ruined orgasms, you need to know his body very, very well. You need to study his specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify the first possible moment in the sequence where you can let go and cause him to still cascade through climax. Arched back, tensed muscles, grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls – every man has his signals. (…) Instead of letting go “at the last second” you actually want to let go as early as possible. You want him to hang, untouched, on the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his body reflexively sends him over. Do it correctly, and his cum should just dribble out, under weak contractions. (…) With good communication, you can find the perfect timing together, by working your way “backwards” from the moment of his orgasm. Start by having him tell you, out loud, when he hits what he believes to be his point-of-no-return.”

“Back off at exactly that moment. (…) However, men always misjudge their own point-of-no-return. (…) In order to find his true point-of-no-return, you need to study the cascade of physical reactions happening in his body in the precious seconds before he calls “stop.” Then, night after night, progressively work your way backward through that cascade, stopping sooner and sooner, on your own (without him telling you when to “stop”), until you find the point where he doesn’t climax at all. Then, night after night, slowly and very carefully work your way forward again, until you find the point where he lingers for 5 to 15 seconds, untouched, before leaking uncontrollably. (…) Basically the power of his “cumshot” is a clue to help you know if you’re doing it right (weaker is better) (…) Another huge clue that you’re “doing it right” will be in his refractory period – or lack of one. After a typical good ruined orgasm, his cock should not “wilt” at all. He should stay aroused, erect, and eager for more action.”

“Please don’t let your hard work go to waste by feeling like you have to give him a normal orgasm eventually, don’t give in to a sense of guilt!!!. That will just cut your night short. (…) I allow him to have orgasms, but he can only have them on my terms. That means… when I want him to have a “normal” orgasm, I give him a “normal” orgasm. The rest of the time? I either tease and deny him, or I ruin him. He never knows what I plan to do until I do it. (…) I can choose to “finish” him. Or I can choose to “ruin” him. He gives that choice to me, willingly, lovingly, every time. It is his love letter to me – the single greatest gift he is physically capable of offering – and I cherish it. I respect it. I handle it with utmost love and care. And it makes me a fuller, more confident, more satisfied, happier woman. It makes our marriage stronger, and I adore him for it. I would also like to point out that once I mastered the ruined orgasm my husband is actually more disappointed with a normal orgasm because of his refractory period. It may sound counter-intuitive but a normal orgasm is actually the outcome he likes the least, despite it being the thing he craves most desperately when his “primitive horny brain” is in charge.”

Keep him guessing.

Every single time you touch his penis, he should never know if you intend to edge him, ruin him, or give him a full orgasm. Lie to him. Tell him you’re going to stop, then don’t. Or tell him you’re going to ruin him, then give him a full orgasm. Or congratulate him on the orgasm you’re about to give him, then “change your mind” and stop for the night. This only works if you also sometimes tell the truth.

Masturbation

Some women don’t like their man touching himself down there, either because they find his masturbation unattractive or because they want him to “forget” how to do it. But other women like letting him masturbate as they like to watch or because they are feeling a bit lazy and don’t want to lift a finger themselves. In any case I would discourage you from allowing him to masturbate when he is alone (for example, sending him to the bathroom for a quick wank); instead, he should always do it in your presence. Also, if you allow him to masturbate, there should be a time limit (never more than a few minutes) so you can make sure he only cums when is very horny.

https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/

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luckylockedluck · 2 months ago

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Low Key(holding)

Levels of Orgasm Control and Chastity - A Guide for 'Vanilla' Keyholders

There are many different kinds of orgasm control. The chastity/denial/control dynamic exists on a spectrum and - as you will see from the countless resources online - there is no one 'right answer'. I've had a large number of DMs requesting variations of the blog posts that I have put out there so far - many of which ask for a 'watered down' version that they can take to their significant other as a way to start the chastity / orgasm control conversation. The most interesting questions are from more typically 'vanilla' wives and girlfriends who have clearly been sent my blog by their husbands / boyfriends and are at a loss to find ways to make this dynamic work. So this article will be a very basic guide to a 'gentle' start in this space to see if you and your partner can make it work.

Starting Out

In most cases in this dynamic, the man has initiated this conversation. First off - well done to him for plucking up the courage to tell you about his desires and fantasies. He's probably been thinking about it for ages and it's healthy to have this openness and vulnerability in a relationship.

Secondly, the most important thing to remember, is that he is proposing that you take the reins in terms of your sexual play. This is crucial, because if you truly take the reins, it means that you don't have to do exactly what he is proposing. You can, and should, put your own spin on things.

Teasing, denial and chastity are all essentially about orgasm control. This means that you man is saying to you that he would like you to take charge of when and how he orgasms. It's as simple as that. If you choose to participate and make this part of your play, this should be the starting point of all of your decisions. So, I'll say it again: "This is about you taking charge of when and how he orgasms."

Again, Why Does He Want This?

I am not going to spend much time on this question, as there are other posts and many resources about this online. However, the cliff notes:

"Not orgasming" for a long period has a profound, often positive, impact over a male's hormones and headspace.

Giving you control may be a turn on for him.

It spices things up in long term relationships.

Some men use it to break habits like masturbation / porn.

It helps a lot of men focus more, exercise more and sleep better.

It's sexy and fun to have you in control.

etc.

There are many benefits for you as the female, but again, these have been outlined ad nauseam. More cliff notes:

No pressure on you for sex

However, you get sex when and how you want it.

Cages look sexy

You set the rules

You can often 'redirect' the male's sexual energy into other things like service, massages, exercising and more.

etc

The Spectrum of Orgasm Control

Here is an opinionated view on the 'levels' of orgasm control you can choose from (or blend) if you and your man decide to give this thing a spin.

All orgasm control dynamics operate under the premise that your man is simply not allowed to orgasm without your permission. Should it be during sex, play or even him masturbating, he must wait for your express permission before he goes over the edge.

Chastity cages often play a role in this spectrum because they serve as a constant reminder and/or partial barrier that the male's choice to orgasm is no longer his own.

1. Not Locked

Here, the male does not wear a chastity cage and is free to touch, pleasure and edge himself at will. He is simply not allowed to come.

This is the simplest form of orgasm control for you as there's no cage component, but, interestingly, it's extremely difficult for him, as it relies purely on his evolution-proven, questionable sexual self control. It requires Buddha-level quantities of zen for most males to not sneak an orgasm while unlocked after 2-3 weeks of denial.

In my view, a major benefit of using chastity in this dynamic is that it is impossible for him to get hard while locked. This reality really keeps his erotic urges in check.

2. Self-locked

Here, you say to your man that you encourage, or are happy, for him to wear a chastity cage during his denial periods, but the locking and management thereof is purely up to him. There is no need to communicate about the lock ups, and the male is using this on his own accord to help control his desires.

This is a good place to start for couples beginning their chastity play which you both get the hang of things, and is also often a landing spot for those looking only for the lowest admin play.

3. Sometimes Locked

Here, you as the female will be more active in the lock up process - primarily by instructing your male to lock up for a specific period of time. You will decide the parameters for when it will be locked on, and when it will be removed, and the male is not allowed to unlock without your permission. In most cases here, you will actually physically keep the key, aka become the 'keyholder'.

This is probably the most 'standard' version of chastity that is practiced by couples, as it is more collaborative in nature. The male may be locked for portions of each month, 'every now and then', for trips, for events like 'Locktober' or 'No Nut November' or for randomly timed durations decided upon by the keyholder.

This is most 'active' version of keyholding as you will be steering the decision-making here. It's also potentially the most fun as there is an uncertainty and anticipation on the part of the male which is hugely exciting for them.

4. Default Locked

In this situation, the expectation is that the male is locked unless there is a clear exception in the form of agreed instances where he can be unlocked - like doctor's appointments, cleaning, certain sports, or airport security. Or, of course, if you want him to be unlocked for sexual reasons. There no need to define a lockup period, because there is no a 'period', per se. He's locked and can only unlock for pre-defined reasons or emergencies.

This is a more intense version of chastity for the male, but is significantly easier for you as the keyholder, as you don't need to set or manage lock up or release periods.

When Default mode is on, you will allow your man to unlock for his doctor's appointment, and then he will relock when it's over. You may unlock him for sex, but as soon as it's over, he will refit the cage immediately. No need for discussions or negotiations, and no questions asked.

Locking Pragmatics

Some keyholders are fans of dealing with the cage all that much, and enforce their keyholding by telling their man to lock themselves and present them the key.

Some keyholders really enjoy this little ritual, and like doing the cage fitting themselves.

Some keyholders want to avoid having their man touch or even see their unlocked penis at all, so will have their men bound and blindfolded at all times when the cage is unlocked.

Again, this is a spectrum. Pick and choose.

I'm Super 'Vanilla' - Where Should I Start?

Short answer - wherever you like.

But my recommendation? I would start in the 'Sometimes Locked' space. Let your man do the locking up part. Try it for a couple of weeks per month - maybe something like the first two weeks of the month are 'locked' weeks. Get a sense of how things go, what you like and what you don't like.

If your man tries to talk you out of your suggested lock up period, or tries to 'top from the bottom', then remind him that you will do this by your rules or not at all. Trust is everything here, and remember that it's ultimately about having a good time.

Expand your Knowledge

Read some other articles or blogs about some of the ins, outs and practicalities.

Communicate, tease, be selfish, have fun!

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