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“Writing to you is like kissing you. It is something physical,”

— Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Nelson Algren c. November 1949

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“I don’t think that every villain in the world actually thinks they’re being a good guy, but I do think that everybody creates a value system that justifies the actions they’re taking, and and I think there’s a difference between those two things. Not everybody believes that they’re on the side of righteousness, but everybody has a way of justifying the actions they’re taking. Not every villain has to be a misunderstood hero, and in fact I think there are a lot of instances throughout history of people who were obviously doing the wrong thing and probably had an understanding of that on some level, but had some rationale or justification for it. A lot of villains in literature and media have these weird, Thanos-esque philosophies of what it is that they’re trying to do, and I think human motivation tends to come from more primal places than that. So a lot of the villains I write can be brilliant or clever (and, in fact, probably should be), but their motivation tends to be primal. They wanna be rich, they wanna have power, they wanna live forever. There’s something deep down that is, when you break it down, not too complex. Right? If you look at the real world, the people that are doing bad stuff don’t need complex motivations. They wanna rule the world! They wanna be rich! They wanna be unafraid that other people can ever screw them over, so they screw other people over. Evil is boring. Right? I kinda believe in the banality and mundanes of evil. Evil is just selfish impulses, which at the end of the day are really easy to understand. It’s easy to understand why people do bad things. It’s like “yeah, ok, you’re selfish and scared and cruel, I get it”. Being good is complex and beautiful and hard.”

—

Brennan Lee Mulligan, when asked how to create villains for ttrpgs

(I found this quote to be really meaningful in like…life in general which is why I posted it here. When he said “evil is boring”, it felt like something clicked in me that I had known deep down but hadn’t had the words for.)

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sto in bilico tra due concezioni contrastanti fra loro di uomo.

l’uomo come essere ignobile, meschino e senza speranza

e l’uomo che ha solo bisogno di essere amato

ecco

non riesco a convincermi con assoluta certezza di nessuna delle due

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“Staying quiet doesn’t mean I’ve nothing to say. It means I don’t think you’re ready to hear my thoughts.”

— Unknown

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“People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

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non so dove trovare il tempo di occuparmi di tutti quelli a cui voglio bene

non ce l’ho

scuola, palestra, riposo solitario per la mia sanità mentale e non resta quasi niente

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un casino nella testa

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ho un bel tic

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stavo devastata

ma sono tornata cambiata

già non avevo filtri prima

adesso mi sento squoiata della mia pelle

quando vivi certe cose, poi te ne freghi del resto del mondo

ma non in un modo strafottente, in un bel modo

molti problemi che mi facevo prima mi sembrano di gran lunga superati

spero di continuare a sentirmi così

non sono elegante nè delicata

ma so accarezzarti il cuore come nessun’altro saprebbe fare

le persone non le puoi possedere e le relazioni non sono contratti preventivamente stipulati

ognuna è una nuova scoperta

non possiamo seguire gli schemi

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alla nostra

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sono troppo fragile e tenera

e non mi merito di essere trattata così

devo mollare la presa

all’istante