luiseporcelana - Tumblr blog

[luiseporcelana]

I love it when Aro/aces talk about having amazing friends but we also need to talk about it when aro/aces aren’t able to make meaningful friendships because of their current situation because it hurts

or anyone in general — aro/ace or not it sucks

[luiseporcelana]

being a person who sleeps a lot and can fall asleep in pretty much any situation makes you super vulnerable, and it’s terrifying. even just being very tired/sleepy without actually falling asleep is a very vulnerable position. be nice to sleepy people.

[luiseporcelana]

chronically eepy and that's ok

[luiseporcelana]

me: I'm done grieving, I already accepted my illness and all it brings with it, it's totally ok

also me on a random tuesday: my life is never going back to what it was, I'm never going to be able to do the things I loved the most the same, it's over and I gotta learn to live with that but it's kinda impossible because I'm so young and I had so many dreams and so many things I wanted to do that I can't anymore, at least not without all this pain and suffering

[luiseporcelana]

i feel so dizzy and weak and lightheaded and in so much pain i am honestly tired of living

can i just give up on living?

[luiseporcelana]

tumblr is great bc I feel a little less alone in my experiences as a disabled person

[luiseporcelana]

Yeah all disabled and mentally ill people deserve better access to treatment, but we also deserve the right to reject treatment in all its forms. Supporting bodily autonomy for disabled people means defending our right to make the unhealthy/dangerous choice against recommendations just as much as it means defending our access to treatment

[luiseporcelana]

[luiseporcelana]

A friend of mine asked me once how I could tell the difference between experiencing romantic and platonic attraction. I'd like to restate my thoughts here, since I think they could be useful for some people!

First of all, Intensity =/= Romance. Platonic feelings can be just as strong as romantic ones, although the amatonormativity we live in pretends otherwise. Because of that, I used to often wonder if my squishes are actually crushes. Nowadays, I just go through a series of questions and feel much more at peace afterwards!

"Do I have a crush on this person?"

Ask yourself:

Do I want to kiss them?

On the mouth? With tongue?

Do I want them to kiss me?

Do I want to go on dates with them?

Alone? Would I like it more or less in a group setting with other friends?

Do I like the idea of being seen as a "pair?"

Do I want to live with them?

Forever?

Do I want to marry them?

What does an ideal wedding look like, in my head?

Do I like the idea of them confessing to me?

If I have any interest in children, am I interested in raising children alongside them?

Do I want to exchange gifts with them annually on dates like Valentine's and/or an anniversary?

Do I (in general) enjoy traditional romantic gifts like flowers or jewelry?

Would I enjoy receiving those gifts from the person in question?

If they told me they just got a new partner, would I feel negatively about that?

Do I feel that same negativity when other people I'd never be interested in romantically (family members, etc.) announce they have new partners? Or is it just the person in question?

If sex is a romantic thing for me, do I want to have sex with them?

Answering "yes" to a single one of these questions doesn't mean I have a crush. But answering "yes" to many of them would indicate romantic feelings.

For me, this is a relief, because when I apply these questions to my friends and squishes, I typically react with disgust and RESOUNDING "no"s. Kissing, dating, annual gift obligations, marriage, and co-parenting all squick me out and make me recoil.

A lot of aros (especially baby or questioning ones) might also answer "yes" to a hypothetical they haven't experienced themselves, but then change their answer to "no" later. I know I used to think being confessed to would be flattering (even by someone I didn't reciprocate), but now that it's happened to me a few times, I know how awkward and awful it is. Same with kissing; I thought I'd like it because everyone in media likes it, but actually trying it (with girls and boys) has firmly cemented me in the reality that I just hate mouth kissing.

But, I still thought it might be useful for some aros who struggle with their identity due to all the arophobia and amatonormativity trying to make them question their feelings!

(It might also be helpful for someone trying to figure out if they're gay/bi and have a crush on someone, idk)

[luiseporcelana]

Hey fellow disabled people? Please drink some water and some apple or orange juice if you can. Have some potato chips or something to eat. Take a nap. Take your meds. Take a bath or shower if you have the spoons.

The world is pretty much rigged against us, but we deserve to live too. We deserve love and connection and respect and compassion and support.

You are not alone. You are loved and cared for. I care. I wish I could do more than this to support you, but at least I can be here and hopefully help you feel a little less alone and feel a little more comfortable in your own existence by standing with you (although I currently cannot physically stand /lh).

[luiseporcelana]

Disabled people will literally display the most concerning symptoms you’ve ever seen and then just be like nah it’s fine I’m good now that happens sometimes. anyways you wanna get tacos?

it’s me I’m disabled people

[luiseporcelana]

people need to realize that sexual harassment & assault can happen in women's only spaces. and cis straight women can and are frequent perpetrators (sexual harassment & assault do not require attraction). & the idea that women are just naturally safe to be around makes it harder for victims to speak up and be taken seriously because "but we're all girls! it's fine if I deny your autonomy if we're girls it's just a fun joke :)"

if you want to make women's spaces safer for victims of sexual assault, you need to focus on empowering ALL victims & not making sweeping generalizations based in bigotry.

[luiseporcelana]

Can we please for the love of god stop telling teenagers they’re too young to have aches and pains. Can we please stop being dismissive about these things. Fakeclaiming is disgusting period, but it is exponentially harmful to youth. Just because you didn’t start hurting until your 20s or 30s or 40s doesn’t mean every teenager complaining of chronic pain must be lying. I learned the hard way that if kids are invalidated enough about this, they will just learn to accept constant pain as a fact of life. And then they will need surgery they can’t afford in ten years bc it turns out constant pain is NOT a fact of life. At any age.

p.s. same goes for mental health

[luiseporcelana]

i've been wanting to write about chronic fatigue but i can't write about chronic fatigue because my chronic fatigue is making me too tired to write about having chronic fatigue.

ha ha

[luiseporcelana]

stop villanizing disabled people. stop assuming we're just being lazy. stop assuming we could be trying harder. stop assuming that we'll "feel better" in a few weeks. stop assuming that we have the same energy levels as everyone else. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[luiseporcelana]

Fun fact! While migraines are uncool, people who chronically have them are cool because they manage to live on despite them! :D

[luiseporcelana]

REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR AROMANTIC PEOPLE AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE VALID

I want to see how many people actually are willing to say this and not just act like it